The last few weeks, the past keeps slapping me upside the head. The longer I live, the longer the past gets. Usually, I am not a backward-turning type. I would rather look forward, than back.
What am I gonna do today, not what did I do yesterday.
Of course, I don't want to forget the past, or at least not most of it. And it's all probably written in my bones whether I want it to be or not.
I am the past. All those events over the years add up to me now. It's a process. I can look at it all as a strange, crooked, path: missteps, false starts, dead ends. But I can't imagine really changing the past.
I mean, that's not right. Sure, I'd like to change some events in the past, but it's not possible. I can choose to forget, or I can re-interpret, or re-imagine, the past, but knowingly doing that would be a lie. Right?
Better to remember where you came from. Helps you understand who you are now. And what I am in this moment is informed by what I was over the years.
So yes, don't need to wallow in the past, the past is all around me, like a halo, every moment. I am the past now in the moment.
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