A Complex Weather Pattern...

We sometimes think of our bodies as machines, and our brains as computers...

I believe this is off the mark.

Our bodies, brains included are like:

a river

a willow tree

an amazonian rain forest

an ocean

a cloud

a storm

a hurricane

a tornado

a tsunami

a herd of buffalo

an ant colony

a beehive

a pack of wolves

a gaggle of geese

a complex weather pattern

a galaxy

a symphony 

you know, an evolving life-form

a war-zone

a confederacy of systems

all working together 

we are complicated

resilient, and a bit fragile too

life, it's an amazing state 

a moving target

always morphing 

and changing

growing, dying

replicating

we can try to sum it up

but really, it's all beyond us

mystery bounded by mystery

Fat Man, Tiny Table... Now that's Hilarious!

Why? Why is a fat man sitting at a tiny table so damn funny?! Hah!

They moved this toxic human train-wreck to the "kid's table" for Thanksgiving. No one else wanted to sit with him. So tired of this guy's lame schtick. Reality bites. Can't wait for Biden/Harris to be sworn in on January 20, 2021. Dreaming of better days ahead...

Here's another take...

American. Essential.

Yesterday, I slogged thru an appointment with some furry friends. Long, meandering walk, we all got totally soaked by a cold, wet, rain. Some days I feel like a character in a Samuel Beckett play, you know, just stumbling thru, trying to endure, dealing with what fate throws my way. Then later in the day we watched those great American Epic films: Godfather I & II. What to say? The story of America, and Capitalism. Brutal. Essential. Just the finest stuff.

Slept well. Lazy morning. Sipping a "Love Buzz" coffee brew; head-turning, all my synapses firing! Nowhere to go. Nothing to do. It's a holiday. Listening to "1969: Velvet Underground Live." An expansive 2 CD set. So fabulous. Elemental. So American. Dark night of America. So New York. Thrilling. Lou Reed & company sound totally in the moment. Love the guitar interplay between Lou Reed and Sterling Morrison. Nothing fancy. Shimmering, driving sound. A r&r band just laying it down. The Velvets in Dallas, TX and San Francisco, CA.  No John Cale, no Nico. Still brilliant.

BTW: A holiday Public Service Announcement: Wear a Friggin Mask!

Happy Mask-Giving!

We are listening to the medical professionals and experts. We are not traveling this Thanksgiving. We are not getting together with family or friends. It's going to be a very different kind of holiday for us. It's all about what we will NOT do. 

Just the two of us, with our 4 little birdies. Staying home. Cooking for ourselves. Hunkering in. Probably watch some classic movies on DVD. Stream some shows. Read books. Listen to music. Probably play some music too.

All the news on the Covid-19 front is bad, scary, intimidating. Covid is surging in the heartland. Looks like our healthcare system is getting swamped. A very dangerous situation. You can tell that the public health officials are frantic, frazzled, worried that folks are not going to take their advice to stay home, wear masks, social-distance, refrain from gathering together.

We wonder did anyone else get the memo? This Covid thing is nasty, deadly, super-contagious. You do not want to get it. We have been reading stories about people still partying, having weddings, get-togethers, sort of boggles the mind. What are they thinking?

Human beings are such social creatures. Not congregating goes against our natures. This is a test. Can people do the right thing? Can human beings refrain, show a bit of discipline, be smart, safe, can they make the choice to just not do what they normally do?!

We shall see. Hope folks are gonna be smart. This is a holiday where isolating ourselves is the prudent thing to do. Happy Mask-Giving!

Absolutely Delicious...

You can see that day coming, and the vision is absolutely delicious...

The Loud, Toxic, Fat-Man waddling off to Mar A Lago; defeated, the ultimate loser, just another clueless old White, Racist Dude ranting at the wind. Think of King Lear without the brain. Sputtering, saliva dripping off his fat, blubbery lips. King Lear as portrayed by a Moe Howard with a yellow fright wig, gone to seed.

A scene fit for Shakespeare, except in this case, it's more Three Stooges.  USA, I mean, what were you thinking? That Reality TV Clown was just such a tragic mistake. Soon we will never have to pay that black-hole of a human being the slightest attention.

We can use our brain-cells for more edifying subjects.

We will all be soon waking up to a new day. A new reality. A new USA.  A time where competence, intelligence, consensus, common-sense, community are valued once again. Yes, better days ahead. No doubt.

The a.m soundtrack: "1" (The Beatles) (2000). The finest stuff. The "topper-most of the popper-most." I am in a bit of a festive mood this morning. This Beatles compilation is just exquisite. Number one singles from 1962-1970. If you have any doubts whether the Beatles were the greatest pop/rock band in the Universe, I suggest you spin this one. Amazing. One great song after another. Exuberance, Joy, Enthusiasm. Fabulous vocals, gorgeous harmonies,  unique melodies; just a great band all around. No flaws. Genius. More creative, more successful, more experimental, more expansive, more open-minded than you. Vivid technicolor! Mick Jagger once called them "the four-headed monster." Yes, four unique individuals working at the height of their creative powers for a higher cause: Beatles! Their music is head-opening. Optimistic. Not just great music, a great lesson in how to live a more fruitful, beautiful life. Be creative, let your freak flag fly.  Recommended.

Feed Your Head...

It's funny. Pandemic Sunday. Entertaining ourselves to the max.

You'd think it would be quite claustrophobic. Nope. For some reason everything seemed "perfect and in it's right place."A chill, meandering day. Started the day drinking coffee and listening to Krista Tippett interview the great Cuban American poet Richard Blanco. Tears and laughter in the a.m. Totally entrancing & enriching!  

Then a long, invigorating walk on the lakefront. An excellent spaghetti lunch. Watched a hilarious rock doc about the 90's Brit-Pop band Oasis (the fighting, drugging, totally raucous and out of control Gallagher brothers!). So funny!

Listened to some great music on the box: Dylan's much maligned "Shot of Love," (1981) (a fabulous record: raw, loose, funky with three or four of Dylan's killer masterpieces),  and the Rolling Stones' "Flowers" (1967) (the Stones still in a Pop groove. Raw. Edgy. Funny. Dexterous. Brian Jones playing various instruments, still with it.)

Then in the evening we watched an episode of "The Crown" featuring another wild,  strange, confounding British clan, the Royals. Fabulous acting all around. Crazy, but pretty much true story. Gillian Anderson plays that British gargoyle Margaret Thatcher. 

Then it was to bed with a new book. At least, new to me. M. John Harrison's "Light." (2003). Sci-Fi. I have no idea what it is all about yet, but just the first few sentences hooked me. This man is a fabulous writer. Floated thru the first few chapters, then lights out.

That was the day. Not bad. I thought of Bobby McFerrin's great Zen Koan: "Don't Worry, Be Happy." For one Pandemic Sunday it actually worked. As the Door-mouse said: "Feed your head!"

Reality is Here...

Beware the "con."

I fight to resist the temptation to engage the crazies. There really is nothing to be gained by trying to refute insane conspiracy theories floated by the right-wing noise machine. It's sort of like wrestling with an enthusiastic and thoroughly-muddy pig. You will be SLIMED. 

I go back to the basics:

Gravity still rules.

Simple math still works: 1+1 = 2

Democracy = Every Vote Counts.

Candidates with the most votes win.

Of course, there is an asterisk *. The Popular Vote and the Electoral College Vote (a relic from our Slave-Holding days), sometimes don't match up (see Hilary Clinton's 3 million popular vote win in 2016). It's either a quirk or a deadly flaw in our Democratic System. Sometimes, unfortunately, the Popular Vote Loser can take office (see 4 yrs of the Toxic Trump). 

It's heartbreaking when it seems the will of the people is thwarted, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.

This year, Biden/Harris are ahead in the vote count by more than 6 million votes (some outstanding mail-in ballots are still being counted). And they have votes in the right numbers, in all the necessary swing states, to take the Electoral College. Joe Biden & Kamala Harris will be  sworn into office on January 20, 2021.

Math.

Common sense.

Logic.

Evidence.

Fact.

Truth.

These are all excellent tools that we can use as guides to navigate thru the darkness and madness. 

None of this is complicated. All that crazy-making noise, all that shouting and pounding on the table is just a sideshow. I mean, really, it's all a not-very-entertaining-shit-show.

As my favorite ex-President, Barack Obama likes to say: "Reality has a way of catching up to you."

Exactly. Reality is here. Those who have been conned, those who desperately want to believe in the con, those caught in the right-wing-nutzo-noise-machine, are the mischief-makers, the fools, the saps, the gullible dumb-shits, amongst us. We must do our best to ignore them. There is much difficult work ahead for all the good people of conscience...

Improvise!

Trying times, indeed...

The crazier seem be getting crazier. The unhinged, more unhinged. There are more crazy & unhinged ones than we all realized. Their number is legion.

Funny.

What's a Pilgrim to do? 

Stay calm, carry on. 

Lean to the light.

Keep your feet on the ground (gravity rocks!).

Keep your head.

Chill.

Don't engage the crazy & unhinged.

Meditate. 

Find the calm center.

Live there.

The world is turning.

Change is our never-ending state of being.

Improvise.

Life is a long-form improvisation.

Say: "Yes... And..." often...

Right. Keep the improvisation moving forward...

At the same time, never forget the power of "No!"

Be...

... Alive, Aware, Awake... yes, come on, you can do it...

"If it's Good Enough for the Buddha, It's Good Enough for Me."

Yesterday morning, my brilliant idea, to pull me out of my funk (see previous post),  came to me on the path on the lakefront. "Let's order Chinese for lunch!" 

You know, takeout. Try to shake up the sequence of the day.

The answer, of course, was, "Sure." 

Then, what to order?!  For me it was an easy call: "Buddha's Delight." My thought process, "If it's good enough for Buddha, it's good enough for me."

And, yes, well, it was good enough. Vegetables, tofu, brown rice. 

Later in the day, my therapy session: headphones, a dark living room, sprawled out on the couch listening to music.  What was the sonic medicine? Two fabulous, r&r masterpieces, The Who's "Quadrophenia,"  (1973), and New Order's "Power, Corruption & Lies." (1983).

What do The Who and New Order have in common? A fierce, creative intelligence hovering over both bands. A lofty, and ambitious spirit. Musically inventive. Virtuosos on Bass and Drums. They are also  so very unique. Makes you realize, anyone picking up an instrument can re-define it's capabilities. That is the case with Moon, Entwhistle, Morris and Hook. Different sonic worlds.

Magnificent, enthralling results.

Music is such a tonic. Lifts my spirit, renews my faith in the creative project. Inspiring. Intense. The necessary stuff. Dipped in the pool of vibes, returned totally recharged.

It's a new day...

An Olaf Morning...

I can usually meet the day pretty much half-way. You know, bright-eyed, coffee cup filled to the brim, a streak of hope and optimism flashing thru me. Not today. Just not into it. I am not in despair. Just mildly disconnected & annoyed. I don't like the drift of the news this morning. I am a bit at a loss for words. The news of the day is sort of distasteful. My fellow human beings are proving to be disappointing (not a new thing). Their lack of basic intelligence and stubborn irrationality, makes me want to sit silently on a bench somewhere, the trees swaying in the breeze, the waves crashing to the shore.

I aimlessly crack a new book (it arrived via post yesterday), that I've never cracked before, and come upon this: 

Olaf (upon what were once knees)

does almost ceaselessly repeat

"there is some shit I will not eat."

-- e.e. cummings

It is an Olaf morning...

The Lay of the Land...

The lay of the land...

People are still tricky.

There is a Covid-19 Storm raging in the Heartland.

The Governor and Public Health Director in Illinois are getting desperate & frazzled. Why? They are imploring folks to act responsibly, and to treat a deadly, super-contagious virus, like a deadly super-contagious virus. Trying to convince folks to act sensibly. It turns out that is not an easy job.

The Common Folk are restless, tired of staying at home, and tired of wearing masks.

Lots of anger, bad blood & hurly-burly swirling in the air.

The hospitals are overflowing with Covid-19 patients.

Lots of sadness, sickness and death on the horizon.

Thanksgiving 2020 is looming as a public health disaster of epic proportions.

Lots of sunshine and cooler temps today.

All the clouds are in our heads and in our headlines.

We are doing our best to keep the storm at bay.

We wonder what the people will do. Not willing to bet on a positive outcome.

Hoping for the best.

Hunkering down.

Hunkering in.

Covid-19 is Real... Really...

Okay, in this year of god-smacking crazy stories, I think the most "gob-smackingest," I mean, like, the most batshit crazy thing I have heard, is the story of the ICU nurse in MAGA country talking about Trumpers dying of Covid-19, folks on ventilators in the ICU, gasping for their last breaths, still maintaining and believing, against all evidence, against all odds, that the virus is a lie, a scam and a hoax.

Trumpers pissed off and furious that medical staff have diagnosed them with a disease that they don't believe exists. Instead they think it's some liberal hoax. You know, liberals are trying to fool them into caring about themselves and others.

I actually heard a man who lives in Montana tell a radio interviewer that Covid-19 is a Chinese/Marxist-Leninist plot set to destroy America.  It's all just a fear-based sham. Makes me think of Sterling Hayden's great portrayal of General Ripper in Stanely Kubrick's "Dr. Strangelove," talking about how fluoride in the water is a plot to sap Americans of their "precious, bodily fluids."

Hmmm...

What to say? How is it possible that people can live in such denial of reality? How is it possible that people's minds can get so clouded with politics, conspiracy theories, nonsense, idiocies, and will actually, irrevocably, stubbornly stick to their delusions even in the face of sickness and death? Turns out MAGA really is a Death-Cult.

You would think some kind of self-preservation would kick in somewhere along the line. You know, simple reason, logic, common-sense? 

You wonder... 

Does the lightbulb finally go off on their last breath? Does a last creeping thought flitter across their disease-ravaged minds that maybe they are stupidly, tragically, ridiculously wrong? You know, do they get a tiny last glimmer of the idea that maybe Dr. Anthony Fauci was just trying to help them stay safe and healthy when he told folks to wear a mask, socially-distance, and wash their hands?

Covid-19 doesn't care if you live in a red state or a blue state. It's doesn't care if you are a Trumper, or if you voted for Joe and Kamala. It's doesn't care if you are careful or not. It's a nasty, super-contagious virus that has killed over 220,000 Americans... WTF...  I mean, this isn't rocket science, people...

Bound By Reality...

Rolling & Tumbling...

emotionally

intellectually

psychologically

late stages of early stage pandemic fatigue. 

We have not "loosened up," in the face of another Covid-19 spike over here. The heartland, just like most of the rest of the country, is suffering from a nasty, raging, extremely contagious and indiscriminate virus. Trying our best to be smart and stay safe. 

So, yes, we are a bit tired of the "new normal" during this plague year, but we are committed to doing our best to stay healthy, and keep others healthy too. We really are all in this together. It's the human herd vs. the transmissible disease.  Right now the disease is ascendent.  

It's seems like the only commonsensical thing to do is to be careful, to follow the expert guidance, to cut down on social activity, and act as if everyone is a potential carrier of the virus. It's the paranoid-style writ large. It's smart, moral, ethical, and admirable too. Bound by reality. Yes. All of us are, although, many of us don't seem to know it.

Reality has a way of catching up to us. Over here we are hoping to meet reality with clear-thinking, clear-seeing, open hearts and heads. Fully-masked, still scarce socially. Hunkering down. Hoping for a vaccine soon and better days ahead.

Don't Know...

What is the wisest thought? What is the best way forward? How to process all the chaos, bad blood, & turmoil in the world?

First Thought/Best Thought...

I Know Nothing.

I don't know if I will ever figure things out.

I don't know if I will ever understand myself or others.

I don't know how to fix the world.

I don't know how to change other people's minds.

I don't know why I do the things I do, or don't do the things I don't do.

I don't understand how a brain can, or cannot, understand itself or other brains.

I don't know why I don't know how the world, and all the things in it, work.

I mean it. 

Nothing Can Penetrate Their Numb Skulls...

Seems the true divide in America is between those of us who saw the "con" early on, I mean, from the first day, and those of us who still don't see it, and can't admit that they are still being conned, even today, this moment.

So funny, weird, hard to get your head around.

Maybe some folks really, really want to be conned, they want to defy reason, logic, science, math, common-sense at all costs? These are the same folks who are refusing to wear masks, or social-distance, the same folks starting to flood the healthcare system with sickness.

You would think disease and death would make some us these folks sit up and listen. Or you would think that simple math and logic might rule their days.  But it seems some folks want to believe the con so badly that nothing can penetrate their numb skulls.

It is something to behold: The Persistence of Ignorance.

A Battlefield...

It has always been so...

You lean to the light, you crave a bit of peace & tranquility, but life is a battle, the world is a perpetual battlefield. War is ubiquitous.

You remember as a child, trying to navigate the neighborhood, trying to avoid the neighborhood bully, you just wanted to play with your friends, and your toys, but it was never that simple. The bigger, stronger ones were always picking on the littler, weaker ones.

The big fish eating the little fish. 

Being on the playground at lunch time was always a perilous adventure. You spent so much time trying to be invisible. You remember helping a boy smaller and weaker than you, broken glasses, bloody nose, tears of incomprehension falling hard on the ground. The question hanging in the air, "Why are they picking on me?"

At the time, all you could do was shrug and move on. Now, you think: "Because they can."

These are indelible life-lessons, seared into body & brain. Later in high school, reading "Lord of the Flies" was a revelation. "Oh yeah, I know this world..."

This morning you think of the battles we wage everyday:

strong vs. weak

rich vs poor

reason vs. unreason

life vs. death

pleasure vs. pain

joy vs. sadness

optimism vs. pessimism

rational vs irrational

blue vs red

hopeful vs hopeless

War & Peace every day.  When you meditate it is intended to still that warring mind. To find some light and clarity... it's always a temporary oasis... the battlefield is always waiting...

Swimming & Surfing Calamity...

Yes, swimming & surfing the days. So far it's seems we have survived the reign of our very own American Fascist, we are moving on to a new era (Biden/Harris), and we have so far avoided that nasty virus circulating thru the human population. So much of 2020 is about avoidance, the things we've avoided.

All this swimming and surfing takes up lots of time. You sometimes forget that our lives are swimming and surfing by too. These are the days of our lives. Yes, we are looking to get thru, to get on the other side of these crazy calamities surrounding us, but at the same time, living within these calamities is our life and our time.

Swimming & Surfing Calamity, that's life...

When It Comes to People...

I guess when it comes to people...

 

you shouldn't under-estimate
their craziness

their ignorance

their rank stupidity

their persistent delusional nature

their stubborn bull-headed-ness

their laughable ridiculous-ness

their inability to admit they are wrong

their determined clinging to madness and bad faith

their conspiracy-minded-ness

their happy irrationality

their blind faith in idiocies

their belief in their own brilliance and native genius

what to do?

how do you deal with the crazy-ass ones?

Not sure.

Maybe best to just ignore them and move on...

Vivid & Disturbing Dream...

People are tricky. People are rowdy. People are unpredictable (in predictable and unpredictable ways)...

I should know. I am a full-time person myself.

So, yes, so pleased with recent events, you'd think I'd be sleeping like a baby. Nope. Not quite. Last night I had a vivid & disturbing dream, it was like some long David Lean-like Epic Film. When I woke up this morning I was still quite foggy.

The Dream:

I was traveling (lately, I don't travel) 

I was staying at hotel (nope not lately)

I was drinking to excess, I mean totally blind, off my rocker drunk (I stopping drinking years ago)

I was driving a fast car (I don't own a car)

I was spending time with a strange, very attractive, loose woman (Hah!)

I lost my luggage (luggage?)

I spent most of the dream trying to track down my luggage. I found my suitcase, it was empty. Seems all my stuff was scattered all over town. I spent hours and hours aimlessly looking for the contents of the suitcase. And when I found something it was totally destroyed, ragged, torn, broken, unrecognizable. 

I spent lots of time explaining myself to random strangers, the bell hop, the hotel clerk, attractive women. It all sounded strange and weird and impossible. The words falling from my mouth were ridiculous. I never did get it together. 

Hah!

Everything Hinges on Everything...

Yesterday it was all smiles and good vibes in our town. Folks were out, enjoying a nice, sunny, fall day. The black cloud hanging over the land has lifted. The big, loud, toxic bad man has been defeated. How did we do it? One little vote at a time.

Democracy. It truly is a wonderful thing. The people decide who will serve us. The revolution comes in dribs and drabs. Every two years we elect Representatives, and every 4 years we pick a President. Every election is a pivot point. Every vote counts. History is written in real time. It's a bit messy. No clear thru line. 

We lean to the light, and hope for enlightened progress, but it doesn't always roll out like that. One step forward, two steps back, sometimes, unfortunately, we can find ourselves in a deep, hateful, retro-ditch. Then again, sometimes we roll our sleeves up, do the hard work of democracy and we rise to a bright new day and reality. 

Our choices do matter. Everything is connected. Everything hinges on Everything.

Yes. It's a little thing: a homely little vote. It is a formidable weapon. What's the take away this a.m.?

Sometimes...

gravity holds

common sense makes sense

math rules

science counts

democracy works

the dark clouds lift

the sun shines

the strong man crumbles

the GOOD GUYS WIN!

And it just feels so good and right and beautiful...

Complete, Total JOY!

The words that come to mind: Joy. Ecstasy. Euphoria. Happiness. Excitement. Relief.

I admit it. I am exhausted. My girlfriend remarked to a friend: "My boyfriend is absolutely exhausted." It's true. It has been a total, crazy, roller-coaster ride of emotions. Yesterday morning when I heard that the AP had finally called the race for Biden I was relieved & sort of numb.

Later in the afternoon we took a long bike ride. My friend wanted to pick up some things at the hardware store. We rode through the main square of our town, a little Progressive Blue Bubble of a town. Folks were out in full force in the town square. Whooping, Cheering, Singing, Laughing, Dancing, High-Fiving, Chanting. Car horns Blaring. It was a total, joyous, celebration. So cathartic. So healing. So wonderful. So fun. Made us so happy to be alive in the USA.

It's funny. It had that vibe of hearing the news that the Bad Man, the Great Dictator had died. You know, people cried when Stalin died, but people also celebrated, they laughed, danced and whooped for joy. It was like that in our little Blue Bubble Town. Total, unmitigated joy!

I heard the bells were ringing in Paris. I talked to my friend in Poland. They were celebrating too. Pretty damn amazing. I do love this country. I love Democracy. I am feeling very hopeful, optimistic, joyous. I know there are lots of problems, major problems, difficult, enormous problems, but I am confident we have two new amazing people heading up our government and I am sure that they will do all they can to work towards solutions.  

Hope. Big-time Hope. Oh yeah, and Joy... complete, total Joy... 

"Say Goodbye to Facist Trump. Long Live Democracy."

Yes. I live in a Progressive, Blue Bubble. My long-time companion tells me it's actually a "Sunny-Jimmy Bubble." Maybe so. Just born that way, don't you know? So in my little bubble, science, math, facts, truth, common-sense, hope & optimism rule the roost. So I am feeling pretty damn positive that we will soon finish the vote-counting, and we can send the Toxic Clown Prez to the great dustbin of history. I mean simple math, and facts on the ground just make it inevitable!

Anyway, in my Progressive Blue Bubble neighborhood, even the park benches are articulate and politically-astute. We came across this park bench on a late afternoon bike ride yesterday. I couldn't say it any better, and it summed my thoughts/feelings/desires EXACTLY!

Simple Math is Still Simple Math...

UPDATE as of 8:24 a.m. CST: The slow death of the gaseous, little baby man dirigible... one vote at a time. Democracy in Action! The waiting is the hardest part, but latest word, Biden/Harris are now leading in Georgia (hat tip to Stacey Abrams) & Pennsylvania... just waiting for the networks to call it. We will have a new President and Vice President. So, so fabulous. Pizza Party!!!

Simple math is still simple math.

For instance 2+2 still = 4

There isn't Republican math or Democratic math.

Democracy still = (a) "government by the people,  especially : rule of the majority
(b) a government in which the supreme power is vested in the people and exercised by them directly or indirectly through a system of representation usually involving periodically held free elections"

Yes. We must not forget, as Patti Smith once sang: "People have the power." Remember that idea: Every vote counts. As a corollary to that we must count every vote. 

We forget. All these competing interests sometimes confuse us. In a Democracy the people, the common ones, the little folks who live across the land, each one of us has the right to vote. Our votes, collectively, determine who is elected and who is not.

Ballots come in many forms: in-person, mail-in, provisional, absentee. All of them are valid. All must be counted. 

Tune out the noise. Don't listen to the loud, fat man raging at the podium and on Twitter. He is sinking, flailing, failing. Let the votes be counted. A new day is dawning.

The big question: Which state will put Biden/Harris over the top? Will it be Nevada, Pennsylvania or Georgia? Any one of them will do. All three are trending Blue. Remember Democrats voted by mail in much larger numbers than Republicans. So the late vote-counting favors the Democrats in all of these battleground states. That's just a simple fact. I am rooting for Georgia to be the one to clinch the win for Biden, that would be so, so sweet, but I suspect it will be Pennsylvania. Either way is fine with me. Let Democracy rule. Let the people have their say. Count every vote. 

We will have a new President. No doubt. That's just the math. Fingers crossed...

Main-Lining Numbers...

Still waiting for the final count. Main-lining numbers. Not very healthy or satisfying. What's the mood around here?

Frazzled. Jittery. Exhausted. Touchy. Jumpy. Cautiously, desperately, optimistic. Prone to easy tears. Yes. A bit weepy (I listened to Dylan most of  yesterday, and early evening, yes it's been a Dylan Jukebox, from the early folk anthem stuff, Dylan reading his poem to Woody Guthrie, to later exhilarating r&r and even some of the gospel-tinged, early 80's church-y tracks). Why weepy? I haven't been sleeping well. I'm a bit overwrought and exhausted. I am the type of person who wears his feelings on his shoulders. Even though I am always striving for balance, common sense, a cool, chill demeanor, I live and die with my emotions & feelings. So yeah, live and die with every little morsel of news. As someone once remarked about my brother and I: "Both feet in, blood flying."

Right. It's a challenge not to be too emotionally-invested in the outcome of this election, but of course, that's not just hard to do, it is freaking, totally, impossible. I CANNOT countenance another four years of Trump. Just can't do it. Can't fathom it, can't imagine it, can't entertain it, can't think about it. I am totally gob-smacked that millions of my fellow Americans could vote for that disgusting example of humanity.

Luckily for me, and for everyone I know, the numbers are looking good for my pick. I mean, there is still a bit of uncertainty, final counts aren't in yet, votes still need to be counted and tallied, but really, the trend is looking good. The undoubted certainty: a record number of voters voted for Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. We are on the cusp of a new era. A huge popular vote win for a new direction. Now it's the parsing, counting at the state level that is the make or break. As of this moment Joe Biden is 6 electoral college votes from being our next President. Hallelujah!

So, so close we can taste victory. I was expecting total exhilaration, but you know, even an exhausted, over-wrought relief will do just fine. It make take days, or who knows, we may know a winner very soon. I suppose an ungodly dollop of patience is required. Okay. Got it. I figure more main-lining numbers today. More Dylan too. It's important to tune out and recharge too. 

What's the a.m soundtrack? Paul Butterfield Band's "East-West."  (1966). Fabulous. Tough. Electric blues with some jazzy instrumental jams. The perfect post-election, deep in the weeds vote-counting, waiting with bated breath soundtrack...

Still Counting Votes...

Holy Shite.

Still counting votes. Democracy still hangs in the balance. What a crazy country.  This Electoral College thing is such a clusterfuck. Looks like the Democratic Ticket (Biden/Harris), will win the Popular Vote, (again), and that should be the end of the story, but unfortunately, that's not how it works. 

Yikes. 

I have been a fool. Religiously reading the political data scientists like Nate Silver, Nate Cohn, G. Elliot Morris. They all built fancy polling models, calculating odds & probabilities. All of their projections were basically off. Polling is just such a squirrelly art. Maybe more art than science. Maybe not all that useful?

My companion instead consulted her favorite astrologer, Chani Nicholas, "full moon in Taurus." Both of them seemed, always, on firmer ground: 

"The first week of November asks you to be more mindful than usual about your delivery, and perhaps more patient than you want to be about a response. The tension that occurs before, during and after Mars stations direct makes your interpersonal landscape interesting." 

Right. Things are definitely looking interesting. I look at my blog post from yesterday. I still think we should all dare to be optimistic, hopeful, etc. But this morning I am feeling a lot more cautious, humble, uncertain, and confused.

Welcome to USA in pandemic 2020.

Dare I say it? Once all the votes are counted, I think somehow Biden does emerge the winner, but it's now looking like a very close and "iffy" thing. Maybe comes down again to voters in Michigan & Wisconsin. What a crazy, mixed-up way to run a country. Wild. Weird. 

Everything Counts...

Election Day 2020.

What to say?! Be sure to Vote today. We voted early. So for us, it's just the long, excruciating, process of waiting for our fellow citizens to vote, and then the counting up.

Why excruciating? Seems that so much is hanging in the balance. Democracy Decides during a raging, global pandemic. That's drama. 

Voting seems like a small, paltry thing. You know, just one little drop in a massive ocean. But it's pretty much the same with every thing we do. One person. One life. One dream. I believe EVERYTHING COUNTS. Every little thing. That's the only soulful, courageous, righteous way to live.

So yeah. It's time to embrace your life, to embrace it with everything you have, everything you are, and everything want to be.

Dare. Dare to dream, to hope. Don't be afraid to speak up, to speak out, to take a stand. Have courage. Lean to the light. Be optimistic. Lead by example. Act as if you are the courageous, hopeful, optimistic, creative soul you want to be. Be that. Choosing that inevitably makes the world a better place for all. It's some weird alchemy at work. Yes. I do believe.

Voting today will change the course of history. No doubt. Does your one vote matter? Yes, it does.We live in that kind of Universe.  Everything, I mean, everything counts... 

Democracy Decides...

The suspense is killing me. 

Waiting for, and slightly dreading, election day, tomorrow, Nov. 3, 2020. It seems like a pivot point, a critical event, a momentous occasion for our fledgling Democracy. In my "sunny moments," I see a landslide Blue Wave, healing & beautiful. In my "dumps moments" I see more chaos, division, hatred.

Maybe the smart thing: a bit of both, you know, landslide Blue Wave with a small, loud, unhappy minority causing a retrograde ruckus. A new day dawning with a hangover of hate. A major step forward, but a long, protracted fight ahead.

As my Father always used to say: "No one ever promised you a rose garden." Although, really, let the roses bloom!

We live in a such an unhappy, divisive time. Disinformation. Bad blood. Madness. USA seems like a lurching, stumbling beast of competing visions. I can't help but be optimistic and hopeful, but I don't know if that is really smart, or really dumb. I also live with a small streak of uncertainty, doubt, and worry cutting thru the sunshine.

Still, no matter what, I am not the best worrier in the land. I leave that up to some of my close friends and relatives. They are all so much better worriers than I. So yes, the suspense is killing us. I lean to the light.

Let's count the votes. All of the votes. Let's see what Democracy decides. Dare I say it? I see Joe & Kamala on a stage, smiling, grateful, ready to go to work. But, well, let's count the votes.

Blue Moon Gift

We had one of those great creative break-throughs yesterday. We had been working on a song, my chord progression, my partner’s lyrics, we had worked through it together over the last month or so, we let it marinate, we’d get together, we’d play it, and for some unknown reason, it just didn’t seem to work. There was some undefinable, unsatisfying-ness that sort of hung over the song. We let it sit for a couple of weeks. Maybe we just needed to live with a it bit, and then it would jell?

Yesterday, late afternoon, sitting in a friend’s living room, the rays of the sun washing over us from the front window, we played some songs from our catalog of songs. Between songs I just aimlessly started strumming, on automatic pilot. Not a thought or intention in my head. My fingers traveled up and down the fretboard in a new pattern. Something clicked. My partner started tentatively singing the lyrics over this new pattern. It all just fell in place. In short order, we had a completely new song. New feel, new mood, suddenly chords and lyrics seemed to fit exquisitely.

It almost sounded ancient, from another century, Medieval, and from another land. Funny. An unexpected gift. A moment of magic. Halloween 2020. Blue Moon Saturday. Ghosts and goblins wandering the neighborhood. Ghosts in the room. That is how it felt, this song came from somewhere, and from someone else. Luckily, we had a digital recording device. We recorded the song. Good thing. It’s still just barely in our grasp, like a butterfly, a bolt of lightening. Neither of us can claim the song, it just sort of came out of the air. We think it's a good one.

A Little Escapade

I awake in a new place. A short stay with 3 little four-legged beasts; hairy, friendly, needy. They follow my every move. It is strange, to fall into a completely new reality. I bring all of my same old habits and foibles. “No matter where you are, there you are.” No escaping, even on this little escapade. 

I brought my books, my music, and my coffee-maker. The brew is powerful, robust, life- giving. Some addictions really pay. Listening to the radio this a.m. The words just fly by. Same stories, same worries, same hopes.

The sun is shining. The leaves are turning. Beautiful colors, fallen leaves litter the ground. Dazzling. No expectations, no appointments, just time, lots of time with the little beasts. Breathing, thinking, hanging out. Life.

Let's End the Shit-Show...

Feeling a Blue Wave Landslide brewing. But at the same time, I am counseling everyone I know to make sure they VOTE, and at this point in the drama, make sure you VOTE in-person on Tuesday, November 3rd. Don't make the mistake of trusting the mail.

Yes, the Political Data Scientists, such as Nate Silver, G. Elliott Morris and Nate Cohn are all running their sophisticated models and coming up with probabilities for winners and losers throughout the land. They run those models thousands of times, and tweak the data, test different assumptions and then come up with probabilities. 

Bottom line: basically, it looks very promising for the Democrats to sweep into the White House, to take back the Senate, and to add seats in the House. Going out on a limb, I'd say: MASSIVE BLUE WAVE! 

That would be so exciting and healing for the nation. It would be a fantastic validation for our little Democratic experiment. A new day. A better day. A way to reclaim the American Dream.  I do think it will happen. I don't think by saying that, that I am jinxing it.

Of course, the Universe only runs the model one time. It's a weird thing. We live in a probabilistic Universe, maybe this, maybe that, could be this, could be that, but when all is said and done, what happens is what actually happens.

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda are all just spit-balling after the fact.  So anyway. What to do? VOTE. VOTE BLUE. VOTE BIDEN/HARRIS. I mean, come on, won't it be fun to be on the winning team? The Toxic Clown Prez is flailing, failing, spinning in his own whirlpool of vomit. Finally the definitive judgement is about to come down on his head: A LOSER! Ha! That is his greatest fear. The truth will finally rule. Yes, Toxic Clown Prez = Total Loser! Let's end this shit-show. Lot's of work to do to fix, remake, rebuild, and dream new dreams.

What is Going to Happen?

What is going to happen?

I consult a handful of Political Data Scientists. 

They have fancy graphs, they crunch loads of numbers. The numbers seem real, they have some hardness, not subject to emotion or desire. But, then,  you can't forget that those numbers come from conversations with people. People telling Pollsters who they are voting for, and those people are unreliable, full of emotion, desire, contradictory-ness. The Political Data Scientists weight and massage the data, then their models spit out the results. They make fancy, easy to digest graphs. I look at the graphs and think I have clear idea of what's going to happen.

Of course, there's "polling error." The numbers look good, but, you know, who knows?

I also consult my friends and family. 

I hear their opinions, I hear their stories, their hopes and desires. I listen to interviews of voters on the radio. Everyone has an opinion. Everyone has a story. The stories criss and cross, they contradict each other, sometimes it seems they cancel each other out. People tell you what they are going to do. 

I remember: People are Tricky.

I also consult the Tarot Deck. 

You know. I love my Tarot cards. Those pictures seem to hold information. Important information. I shuffle the deck and draw the cards, wondering what they will reveal, what stories, what insights. This is a little game I like to play. I make up narratives. I read the signs and make decisions and guesses based on the cards I just shuffled and picked from the deck. I go with the idea that my choices are somehow significant, prophetic.

Strange I would take advice from a Tarot card. But it is true, I sometimes do. What of my latest reading?

I foresee a period of turmoil, a bit of uncertainty. It's all out of my hands. I do what I think is right. I align my heart, head and soul, and act as if I am the one I want to be. So yes, turmoil, but eventually, things will work out. My desires, and my realities will converge. Hah!  That's the kind of story I like to tell myself. You can build a life on that kind of story. 

Better days ahead... no doubt...