Discovering Your Limits...

Sure people are disappointing. Present company included. Life. It really is about discovering your limits, and living with them and thru them. It doesn't have to be depressing. You find out that you are, and you possess, a very unique instrument and energy. Much of your life is discovering what makes you tick. I think the trick is to use your instrument and energy to the max. Actualize yourself in the world. Without being an asshole. You are just a part of a much bigger, cosmic energy, unique, just like everything else is unique. It's a weird math for sure. You find out that your limits can be your strengths. Ha. Funny, that. Addition via subtraction. Or something like that.

The Way of the Way...

 Yes. There is that great line from that famous Pogo comic strip: "Yep son, we have met the enemy and he is us."

From the mouth of comic strip characters, comes the deepest insight & wisdom. It's that kind of Universe. We are constantly bumping up against the "Unreliable Narrators" in our midst. Lots of kerfluffle, hurly-burly, toil & trouble, bad blood,  and deep in the bone ignnorance.  Hard to find a breath of fresh air in the middle of all this madness.

We can try anyway. Yes. No doubt. Clarity. Silence. Discipline. Sticking with the Poets, the Singers, the Dancers, the Dreamers. Sure, they can let you down too. You may find that you, yourself, are your own greatest saboteuer & enemy. That's a useful insight. It's the way of the way. Damn the torpedoes.

Always the Next Big Thing...

What's my Next Big Thing?

Funny. Someone pointed out I have tendency to discover the world, one day at a time. Like I've never been here before. I often jump from one Next Big Thing to the Next Big Thing, I mean, I do it all the time. It could be something mundane like frozen yogurt, or oatmeal, or Timberland Boots, or snazzily interesting and theraputic like KT Tape, or entertaining and sonically head-opening like Open-Backed Headphones.

I often exclaim: "Changed my Life."

Yep. That's a lot of life-changing for one life. I mean, I know it's sort of ridiculous. But at the same time it's a sort of "hopeful," naive & innocent way to approach a Life. Maybe the Next Big Thing really will change everything for me? And, well, if not, if it turns out that this latest Next Big Thing is really off-track, a dud, a rabbit hole, or a cul de sac, maybe the Next Big Thing after that one really will be The Next Really Big Thing?

Waves of B.S. & Nonsense...

"Modern Times." That sounds so old world. Chaplin had "a part-talkie comedy film" titled "Modern Times." (1936). The Little Tramp "struggles to survive in the industrialized, modern world."

Amen, Brother.

I suppose we are in some post-post-post version of some weirdly-imagined post-modern dystopia. We seem to be stuck in the always, of the moment, 24/7 strangely, weirdly, exhausting now.

Did anyone warn us that we would need to swim thru massive waves of never-ending bullshit and nonsense every damn day? How many assholes can flower in the fields of shite?

Doing the Hard Things Without Getting Hardened...

Ah... well... climate catastrophe, (see previous post), lots of huffing & puffing, but finally, when the smoke clears, all one can offer as a concerned citizen is a meek: " Let's Hope for the Best." 

Sure. Seems lame, but it's pretty much all I got.

And, well, I was reminded again yesterday that I am a member of a very tricky, complicated Species. We think we are the Smart Monkeys, but, you know, those "smarts" are pretty limited, and often we act contrary to logic, reason, and good intent.

Are we fundamentally flawed? Well, I guess it depends on how you look at it. I think we are pretty much bound by our limited brain-power, and we are roiling oceans of emotion and madness. We are fundamentally HUMAN, and that's a precarious thing to be. Some of us lean to the light, and some of us enthusiastically embrace the darkness.

Somehow, sometimes, the "best of us," can rise above our humble circumstances and try our best to live righteously with heart, love, verve and grace.  

That's something worth celebrating, aspiring to. Those are the Humans I look to for inspiration. You know, within limits. Not saying it's easy to do. It's hard. Life is hard. Getting by is hard. Being Truthful to Life and Love is hard. Not giving up, not throwing in the towel, not becoming bitter or cynical is hard too.

Doing the hard things without getting hardened. Aye there's the rub...

Super-Hot...

I kind of hate to write this one...

Heat. Right. It is a killer. We all have to try to manage it, and learn how to live with it. We Human Beings should be looking in the mirror, and asking ourselves: "What have we done?"

We have entered a new phase in Human Civilization: Human-made Climate Catastrophe. There is no way of spinning it, or avoiding it. Some folks have been sending out the alarms since the early 70's of the last Century, but really, no one really seemed to be listening. Seems many of us didn't like what the Scientists, the Poets, the Songwriters, the Environmentalists were telling us, so we by and large tuned them out, kept burning fossils fuels and emitting toxic shite into the air. 

To this day we keep throwing Carbon Dioxide into the atmosphere making our planet hot. Super-hot.  There is no Deus Ex Machina coming down from the heavens to save our asses. That job was left up to us. We have pretty much failed miserably. Now we are all suffering the consequences. We are making our little Blue Planet uninhabitable. Not very smart. Easy to find the culprits: over-population, industrialization, capitalism, choosing money over love.

What's a Humble Pilgrim to do? I mean, most of these personal actions are pretty pointless. Maybe they make us feel a bit better about ourselves, but really, in the Big Picture, pretty useless.

Still the idea is to try to make it, so: Be careful. Hydrate. Find a cool spot. Remember to consume Electrolytes. Stick to the shade. 

I know all of this sounds paltry, ineffective, maybe even off target but personally we do a few things we think are essential for us as Human Beings who do care: we don't eat meat, we don't own a car, we rarely ever fly anywhere. But we are plugged into the culture. No way to extricate ourselves.

Personal, singular efforts seem pretty futile. Can we, as John Lennon, asserts "Imagine," another world? Another way of being in it? Sure. We can imagine Human Beings acting as the caretakers of the interconnected web of life, acting in the interests of all living beings, acting with good will and intent. Acting collectively for the benefit of all life. But how to "make that happen" in our contentious, fractured reality, on a global scale? Beats me.

We live in the Belly of the Beast. And the Beast is relentlessly altering the wonderful, life-supporting, interconnected web that has birthed us and all the other pretty creatures too.  Not good.  Too hot to handle.

Lessons: Learning & Forgetting...

Life Lessons. 

Funny how you seem to learn the same lessons over and over. Learning and Forgetting. Maybe that is a sign of basic ignorance? Knowing that you don't know is the first sign of intelligence. Some lessons you just don't seem to want to get thru your thick head. Why? There is the power & glory of a determined denial. 

One basic lesson: The Primacy of the Body. I do believe we are all "spiritual beings," and  that spirit resides, and bubbles out from a very here and now body, made up of cells, organs, flesh and bone. You have to learn the limits of a body. Sometimes you forget your limits, you take that body for granted, and that can be catastrophic.

Another basic lesson: We are One Catastrophe from Catastrophe. Hard to get around this one. Hard to plan for Catastrophe. Often, maybe even usually, this Catatrophic Event will come out of left field, and confront you when you least expect it. You know it's Catastrophe that you can't foresee, or predict. You just don't see it coming, until it smacks you upside the head. It can be a major Catastrophe, or a tiny one. Sometimes the tiny one is just as life-altering as the major one.

If you are lucky enough to make it beyond the Catastrophe, you have to adjust, improvise, reconstitute, rethink, take remedial action, absorb & try to heal. It's all part of being a Human Being. Yes. We all must deal with the deal. That's the deal.

Roaring Tornado of Sound...

Our band, 8 members strong, played a late afternoon show yesterday. A big band in a tiny room; a cozy, comfy Chicago bar, "a friendly neighborhood tap." It was totally packed with friends and strangers. We were spread out across the barroom floor and up in the tiny stage.  It was unique configuration, an L-shaped spread.  Surprisingly, it worked out quite well. We were a roaring tornado of sound. We were a bit under-rehearsed and raw, and that made us all a bit more focused. The music had a fiery edge to it. It was definitely a high-energy outing. We played two sets, 22 original songs. My favorite post-show comment came from the friendly, prodigiously-tattooed lady-bartender: "I don't know what that was, but I loved it." You know, over the years, she has heard and seen just about everything. That comment was music to my ears.

Damn the Torpedoes...

Best not to live in fear. 

You think: "What could possibly go wrong?" The answer: "Well... pretty much everything." Still, that should not deter you from doing what you want to do.

I do believe we are here to be ourselves to the max. With a few guideposts. Be kind. Do no harm. Take care of yourself, and take care of others. Do the best you can, knowing that as Ringo once sang: "It don't come easy."

Nobility in their Reality...

Let's sing the praises of the common, working stiffs. I come from a long series of them. Honest folks doing honest work. Common ones. Hard workers. 

I look back and see some incredibly capable and talented folks spending lots of their lives hustling, & trying to earn a buck. Not the easiest life, by any means.

These are the folks who built things. Helped create the world we inhabit. They often get over-looked. There is a "greatness" to be found in their willingness to roll up their sleeves and do the work without complaint. 

In some strange way, it is these folks who helped hold the world, the center of things, together. I am not saying I am one of these folks, maybe a chip off the old block, a pale reflection of that noble stock. 

They are non-celebrites, non-rock-stars. Just common, ordinary folks. Showing up, doing their work. Living the dream. Whatever dream they conjured up in their heads. There is a nobility in the reality of their lives. Unspoken, unthought, the simple, dedicated action of doing, being & living.

The Outer Limits...

"The happenings" in a life. We talk of "letting go the wheel," but then, things conspire to show you that your hand has never been on the wheel. There are a few of those starkly real days, and moments, when the veil is lifted to reveal that you really have no hand, and there is no wheel. 

Sometimes life really makes no sense. That sense-making habit we employ vanishes in an instant. You are left with Silence & Mystery. 

Quoting lyrics from my own song: 

"There's a sadness in the world, a madness in the world, there is no bottom to the well, there is no answer you can tell."

So yeah, the outer limits of our Human world. Madness and sadness are those colorful monsters that frolic in the waves beyond the known realms, as illustrated on those old navigation maps.

I suppose we haven't really lived until that madness and sadness find a place deep inside of us. And then, we carry on, we greet a new day,  as best we can, knowing that any ordinary day, can be the last.

Just a Day...

Lost in a flurry of activity. Yes. Yesterday was a busy day. To-ing & fro-ing. A day of Motion & Stillness. It was just a day. Another day in a life. What did it all add up to? Not much. I did the things I promised to do.  Showed up on time. I played the role of a man of my word. Simple tasks. Living & working. A sunny, hurly-burly of existence. Happy to still be able to get around. Yes. Indeed. Something happened. Already the day is fading away into the Mystic. Nothing special. Just a day. You know a precious day of living.

Boldly Non-Idiot?

Yes. Sometimes one feels stuck in the middle of an Idiot Plot. Everywhere one looks, it seems only Idiots are allowed. Idiots keep a very stupid game going. Some are waiting for the Deus Ex Machina, but that seems too stupid to be real. What's a Humble Pilgrim to do? Marvel at the Idiocy on display. Try not to don the "mask of stupidity" to fit in. Choose to be boldly non-Idiot? Too stupid to do? Can one see beyond their own Idiocy? Can you boot-strap yourself out of a swamp of Idiocy? Obviously, I don't rightly know...

A Good Afternoon...

Yesterday afternoon we retreated to a beautiful back-yard paradise. Blooming flowers, looming trees, little birds flitting about, sunshine dotted with white, puffy clouds slowly drifting across a blue expanse. 

My partner had a page of  words, I had an acoustic guitar. 

We worked on a new song. Putting pieces together. My partner came to the party with poetry, I came to the party with guitar riffs and chord changes. We ran thru our parts and tried to marry them, make them work together in a seamless, dynamic fashion. 

Often the trickiest part: getting the rhythm & tempo right. We are always reaching out to discover the right feel that will let the lyrics flower into song. We have learned to always record the bits and pieces. An in the moment revelation can easily get lost. My partner recorded every discrete part with her iPhone. Trying to catch lightening in a bottle. Sometimes we just stumble into the magic, which can easily vanish in a heartbeat. Must record. Always.

One tiny element can really be the whole thing.

It was magnificent to do the work together. We live for these moments. The songs come as "gifts," the  work is about finding and refining our initial inspiration, which comes from everywhere and everything. It's always surprising when it "works." We have learned to trust each other, to trust the process, to let it all just flow. A disciplined & determind effort to easily and naturally reach effortlessness.

Yes. It was a good afternoon, indeed.

Unconnected, Floaty...

Funny. The last few weeks, I "fell off the planet." Really. That is how it feels. I was so loaded down with responsibilites, I cleared the decks and just concentrated on being a "lowly" caretaker. A caretaker of a little mob of furry beings. I have been pretty disconnected from the Human Realm, sunk primarily in my own Humaness. I have worked hard at being present & optimistic. You know, trying to carry on with heart, soul & verve. I just learned that my imposed retreat will last for another 10 days or so. Ha. I am "guided by voices," I accept the reality of my limited usefulness to the world, which, really is pretty limited. Most of my discoveries and occupying moments are to be found in being fully present. Studying clouds & trees. Studying silence, and then blasting the most joyful music I can find on seriously pro sound-systems: Roxy Music, Beatles, Brian Ferry, Steely Dan reverberating thru the rooms and halls. Playing guitar too. Working on some new songs, with two different collaborators. It's a weird existence. Luxurious digs, massive structures. Lots of time. Time sometimes seems to come to a complete stand-still. Time really is mine. It's not a difficult state to be in, just feels a bit weird, unconnected, floaty. Disconnected and connected at the same time.

New Trick: Macrobiotic...

My macrobiotic days...

What is the idea? Eat better, eat less, move more, stay flexible.

Yeah. A new thing. Surprisingly, yes, indeed, change is possible. Changing your mind, changing your habits = good. Maybe changing the way you eat, what you do, making a million tiny adjustments could lead to a totally new you & new day?

So, yeah, up well before the dawn. Cooking a big pot of brown rice. That is not something I've ever done before in this long narrative I think of as my life. You know, it's not an earth-shaking development, but it is a significent departure from my usual routine. 

New trick. Yes.

The Near and Not the Far...

It's weird. Some days all seems fine. Especially if I focus on the near and not the far. My simplified life. It's filled with diversions & obsessions. You know, music, coffee, dogs. Those things pretty much fill up my day to day.

And, I am in good shape if I discipline my teetering, roving mind: don't think too far back, or too far forward.

But then, the wider world seeps into my consciousness. Can't help getting the feeling that my Country, our Culture, the Human Population writ large is seriously off-course. Our planet is overstuffed, getting hotter, and the good people seem to be grappling with small & big madnesses.

$ and Corruption of all kinds seems to have invaded all of our major institutions. It's so weird to think that living a good, simple life is actually out of step with the wider world.

I am not cynical, not giving up. I lean to the light, I celebrate beauty, love, compassion, democracy, music, poetry, drama, good feeling. So weird, I feel like a Human Being so "out of time." An outlier. On the margins. Swimming against the raging rivers of our time. 

Sure, I look for good news everyday. It's out there to be discovered, but you have wade thru so much crap, idiocy, bad faith, bad blood. Human Beings lately seem to be acting like total assholes in every damn realm.

The morning soundtrack: "Avalon"  - Roxy Music (1982). Shimmering beauty. A mirage of dynamic vibration. A dream. An ideal.

Stirred & Shaken...

Stumbling in the dark. Head spinning with thoughts of failure and surrender. 

I think maybe it was triggered by a conversation I had on the lakefront path yesterday, a long, rambling, late afternoon conversation with another refugee (I barely know the man,  we always say "hello" when we pass each other on the path), from a Catholic Upbringing. A serious mind-fuck for both of us, no doubt. We both talked like survivors. Major head trauma. Stuffed with guilt, sin, and a deep in the bone uneasiness. Lots of Judgement to wade thru, baby. 

As we talked, I realized I was apparently a bit more successful at leaving "the Church" behind. No longer rebelling, just letting it all go.  Unlike my conversation-mate, I was never a true believer,  even as a Third Grader, I was a "doubting Thomas" type. I was stuck in that world during my formative years, but I mainly felt lost, and tried my best to be invisible. That tendency is still alive in my body.  There is a residue of that Catholic nonsense & mumbo-jumbo swirling around inside me. 

As my conversation-mate recounted his deep, soul-battles in the vaguest terms, it reminded me of my own. He only hinted at his internal drama & trauma. It seemed to me that he was living with some deep, dark wounds and gaping holes of blackness in his being. And he was suffused with a serious, debilitating lonliness. Looking for friendship on the path.

I rallied & talked about my standard remedies for better living: meditation, living in the moment, not judging life, experiencing it. Oh yeah, and simplifying: coffee, dogs, music. Doing the things I love to do. Carrying on with head, heart & soul wide-open. 

We both agreed it was a rich, fertile conversation. Bubbles of empathy and compassion floated above us. To be continued... We then went our seperate ways down the path. Safe to say, we were both a bit stirred and shaken.

Yep. The Best of America is Found in the Big Cities...

Yes. I was born in  Chicago, the City of Big Shoulders. I have been to New York a few times. It makes my big city seem like a very quaint, small town. I LOVE NEW YORK. I remember waiting to meet a friend at Grand Central Station at lunchtime one week-day, and being blown away & overwhelmed by the endless Sea of Humanity that came thru that station. Humanity in all it's glory. Every size, stripe, color, creed, etc. Blew my mind.

If you want to understand the beauty and the power of Democracy in USA, you must go to the big cities in the land to understand what the true melting pot of multi-cultural diversity really means. The best of America is found in the ramshackle, overstuffed cities. No doubt. It is a grand experiment. Amazing.

So yeah, a  big "salacious" trial happened in Manhattan recently. And the obvious, toxic fraud & clown was convicted of 34 felony counts. Unanimous verdict! Which prompted a local sandwich shop to unveil and offer up to the public a new sandwich special.  So funny. Spot on. Like I said: I LOVE NEW YORK!

Try Not to Be an Asshole, Grasshopper...

I like to write fast, off the top of my head. I am from the Allen Ginsberg "first thought, best thought" school of writing & thinking. Admittedly, this sometimes gets me into deep trouble. Saying something without thinking thru what I am thinking & saying can be gnarly, hurtful and/or dangerous. Sometimes my first-thought, motor-mouth makes me the asshole.

On the other hand, I think that fast and loose approach has often been a fruitful method. I come up with funny, surprising ideas, I write lyrics, and create riffs and chord changes that become songs. I often surprise myself with the results. For me, it is a very creatively-useful way to try to short-circuit my conscious mind, and slip into the vast pool of creative-unconsciousness. Living, thinking, writing, playing, speaking intuitively.

I mean, it's a powerful tool, but also a double-edged sword. You can try it at home, but be on-guard. Use carefully & wisely little Grasshopper.

I sent a message to a great friend, and a trusted confidante yesterday. One passage just spilled out as I was typing. I quote it now, I think it's surprisingly good & true:

"I agree, a Caregiver is a noble, worthy profession. Being a crutch for someone, not so much. So yeah, I hear you. There is only so much care you can give to others. You do have to save some of that care for yourself. It's the only healthy, correct choice. You don't really want to fall into the "don't care" club. It sucks there. Bunch of assholes.

But you do have to care and find your love inside you. Best way to change the world for the good. Be an example of a caring, loving person, taking care of yourself with joy and love. Try to pass that vibe onto others. Sounds simple or maybe simple-minded, but I think it's the way to go. But avoid the punches to the gut, the snubs, the thoughtless uncaring fuckers. Live FREE with Heart, Soul and Love!!"

Look Out Debunkers!

Oh man...

If there are any sensible ones still out there, and, yes, I believe there are, selfishingly, I am counting myself amongst them, sorry to say that we all have a new full-time job. Add it to the list of all our other full-time jobs. I know, I sympathize, that's too much full-time for a sensible person. But, you know, Fuck, I mean, Working Stiffs Unite!

 What is that job I speak of? "Debunker:" - "a person or organization that exposes or discredits claims believed to be false, exaggerated, or pretentious."

Look Out Debunkers! 

There is a mountain of Bullshit, a raging river of lies, a fire-hose of disinformation blasting at us 24/7. Here in our beautiful land, the mighty USA, the main source of major-grade, USDA-choice B.S. comes from the whining MAGA-King and his sniveling apologists, which is led by that teetering criminal organization, the Republican Party. It's a fabulously corrupt political party, that has sold it's soul, integrity & self-respect to the newly-felonious MAGA-King. The GOP is stuffed with truth-challenged lackeys, boot-lickers & lying liars. Yikes.

So, it's not fun, like hula hoops, but the latest craze is to wade thru all the bullshit and lies, and do the meticulous work of debunking. Of course, the purveryors of disinfo have the advantage. It is so simple and easy to float the lie, big, little, in-between, and so much more involved to examine it, and fucking tear it to pieces. But you know, it is a job that must be done. Debunking, it truly is the necessary work.

Clairty. Truth. Clear-thinking! We need more of it. Debunkers, let's get to it!

Honest Joe Tells It Like It Is...

There are still folks working for a better America. Not the ones with all that rage, racist-bile, and lock-step-zombie-idiocy. You know, NOT those following the fat-fraud, obesely-corrupt, newly-convicted felon.  

As John Lennon once sang: "Just Gimmee Some Truth." The Truth is our Democracy is worth keeping. It's always a work in progress. The more Democracy the better. The more inclusive, the more diverse, the more welcoming and embracing the better. 

And of course, in our Democracy there are no Kings. "No man is above the law." An authoritarian MAGA King is an abomination, a lie in our collective space. Toxic to our little experiment. 

Honest Joe. He's an old-timer. A long-time Politician and Public Servant. He is one of those folks still working for a better America. Every day. 

So much madness and hurly-burly, and total bullshit since the verdict came down. MAGA-land is not happy. Poor babies. Here's Honest Joe with some unvarnished truth:

“The American principle that no one is above the law was reaffirmed,” Biden said today. “Donald Trump was given every opportunity to defend himself. It was a state case, not a federal case. And it was heard by a jury of 12 citizens, 12 Americans, 12 people like you. Like millions of Americans who served on juries, this jury is chosen the same way every jury in America is chosen. It was a process that Donald Trump's attorney was part of. The jury heard five weeks of evidence…. After careful deliberation, the jury reached a unanimous verdict. They found Donald Trump guilty on all 34 felony counts. Now he’ll be given the opportunity as he should to appeal that decision just like everyone else has that opportunity. That's how the American system of justice works. And it's reckless, it's dangerous, and it's irresponsible for anyone to say this was rigged just because they don't like the verdict. Our justice system has endured for nearly 250 years and it literally is the cornerstone of America…. The justice system should be respected, and we should never allow anyone to tear it down. It’s as simple as that. That's America. That's who we are. And that's who we will always be, God willing.” - Joe Biden

Surrounded by the Stupid...

“The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence” - Charles Bukowski

Maybe this line from Charles Bukowski is true? I mean,  to me, it has the ring of truth this morning. Up early, scanning the news, it seems that the "stupid ones," have the loudest voices, grab the most attention. One begins to think there are only the stupid ones, but, of course that isn't true. 

Bukowski was a famous alcoholic, a hard-working-man, a derelict, but also a Poet. A dedicated writer, who wrote, often brillliantly, about his  very hard-scrabble existence on the streets. His poetry and short stories are not of the "ivory tower" poetical school. More the school of "hard knocks." The school of "pricks & kicks." Think: vomit, shit, piss. With some beauty flowering in the crap. He and his poetry were obsessions of mine, and pretty much a bad influence. He's sort of the Keith Richards of poetical bad influences. All these years later, for me, the lessons of Bukowski: write, always, always write, no matter what, pursue what you love, live the dream, even if you live in the gutter. AND don't be an asshole like Buk. Really.