Faux Fu

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

S. Beckett: "More Pricks, than Kicks"

You never know where the (psychic) whack will come from. I was in conversation with my company's CEO and it quickly became clear that we had two very different visions of reality. There was a little back and forth, and then finally, the teeth and claws came out (arguing with a lawyer is a fast track to a headache). It was all very 'deflating,' not so much that we have a difference, but that I showed flashes of anger in response to what I thought were totally stupid, and ridiculous suggestions (yes, Virginia, I do have issues with 'authority'). Lately, I have played the 'secret spy,' trying to move things forward, playing a double game, keeping my 'team,' happy. Usually, I work by indirection, and humour, trying to derail any disagreements, but yesterday I happened to be 'low energy,' (see previous post) and the 'sunny mask' fell from my face. Did anyone say, 'mutual contempt?' So, afterward, I went into a sullen funk. My remedy? A good sleep, killer coffee, a long run, a deep meditation. I am intent on reclaiming the 'Sunny Jimmy,' mask even if my collegues send me waves of mud.

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