The Soft Machine

I felt like I was hanging by a thread yesterday. My maladies, seem to be accumulating. I'm still dealing with a bad back (it is getting better) and my body just seemed to be one step behind.

I was accused of being 'soft' yesterday, by my business collegues. I've heard this charge before: that I am too lenient with Customers, I am not a 'tough' negotiator etc. This really riles me up (maybe there's an element of truth in it?). I see my 'job' as being able to listen to people, trying to find a solution, moving forward. I am not about 'the hard sell.' I don't believe in it, I'm not suited to it.

I believe in the 'humble' approach. This is in contrast to what I see as arrogance; a blindness, that characterizes my management team. Most of my battles have been with my own team. I don't think they really understand how to develop relationships. What they see as my 'weakness' is actually my strength. They mistake my smiles; my positive, happy attitude for an easy innocence. I'm tougher than they know. Sometimes I try to 'be the nail,' to hold things together, or to 'be like water,' passive and flowing. To maintain a genial humbleness takes a tremendous act of will. To 'run energy,' to let the negative go, is the essential work.