Faux Fu

Monday, August 02, 2004

The 'FireSign Theater,' had an album entitled, 'We're all Bozos on this Bus,' and another, 'Everything You Know is Wrong.'

There is something wise, something absurd, something disquieting to be found in these 'insights.' They have been with me ever since I encountered them in the seventies.

Yesterday was one of those days where the 'absurdity' of my existence, rose up and slapped me in the face. Nothing seemed to 'flow,' everything came hard and halting.

In the 'Goodbar' rehearsal, we made solid progress, breaking down scenes, making up 'bits,' bringing physicality to the words. It all sounded so foreign and clunky. What was I thinking? When I wrote the piece, it all made 'sense' to me, I was bringing all these disparate thoughts and ideas together, with the certainty that if I saw a connection, there was a connection. Hearing it yesterday made me wonder if anything connects.

This has happened to me before, in fact, it happens with just about every production. I start out enthused, certain; then everything breaks down, then slowly, piece by piece, we re-build. It becomes something.

Can't take it too seriously. Must remember, I live the 'Life of a Clown.' I wear a rubber nose and floppy shoes at all times. Plus, what I thought I knew, may not be what I know. You know?

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