Faux Fu

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

"I'm erect. Why aren't you erect?" - Show Girls


I'm probably not the target audience for the upcoming Tom Cruise flick, Valkyrie. I mean, I look at this picture of Cruise in a Nazi uniform, poofy pants and eye-patch, and after the giggles subside, I shake my head in dismay. Are you freaking kidding me? Cruise as a heroic Nazi? I don't think so.

80 million dollars? I try to imagine Cruise with a German accent. Or maybe better yet, have the whole thing in German with sub-titles. And why not have the sub-titles tell a completely different story? Kind of like that early Woody Allen movie.

I forget, did they ever decode the chicken salad recipe?!

I don't know, Hollywood is a wacky town. And maybe this ridiculously improbable thing will be some incredibly successful blockbuster. Could this be another Show Girls? Something so freakishly bad it turns out to be a shamelessly great treat?

Highly doubtful.

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