WWSP's "The Alternate Boot!"

Sunday, August 13, 2006

We are Family

Hey this was in the Washington Post, so it must be true right? (Well, remember all their great reporting before the Iraq War? So maybe not...)

Anyway, accurate or not, there's an assertion that many of us are "descended from royalty." So you say, Big Fucking Deal! Remember all those pasty, consumptive, tight-asses...and on the other end of the spectrum, remember we're also descended from crazed, and uppity monkeys...

But then there's this line: "Humphrys estimates that Muhammad, the founder of Islam, appears on the family tree of every person in the Western world."

Now that kind of puts our recent politico-religious turmoil in a new light doesn't it? Think of Muhammad as that crazy uncle in the attic, with all those wifes, ranting on about paradise and virgins and whatnot... Kind of makes the world seem smaller for some reason...we can look at our "enemies" as estranged cousins or something...it's all just one big family feud...I guess I would be more excited about finding out that Muhammad Ali, (float like a butterfly, sting like a bee) was my "dutch uncle," but that's just me...

UPDATE: Wikpedia says - "Dutch uncle" is a term for a person who issues frank and severe comments and criticism to educate, encourage or admonish someone, often with benevolent intent, as an elder relative or uncle would.

So I guess what I was saying was I wish Muhammad Ali would give me some severe and frank "encouragement."

Ali: So sunnyjimmy keep your left up, don't drop your elbow, and go on the attack...otherwise you're just another pasty, whiny, titty boy!

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