Gonna or Not Gonna...

Events conspired.

A barrage of news. Elevated temps. Feeling a bit under siege. 

We were sitting in the shade. Taking a break in the late afternoon, in the middle of a long bike-ride. Hot. Sweaty. Alive. We were talking about the events of the day, and of our time on the planet. A very-typical kind of conversation for us. Everything under the sun up for discussion. A daily existential examination.

My friend told me this line that came from my mouth did not sound Zen, no, maybe too much of that "under siege" feeling, too much of an air of resignation, but, you know, I do think it's "true:" 

"Whatever is gonna happen, is gonna happen, whatever isn't gonna happen, isn't gonna happen."

The a.m sound track - Fever Ray's "Fever Ray." (2009). Stunning. Electronic. With great heart and soul. Beautiful. Different. Amazing. The lyrics to "Dry and Dusty" get me, cut me open-wide, every time: 

"Never leave me

Walk close beside me

Your hand my hand

Fits so easy

No tomorrow

Let us stop here

We did some great things

Didn't we?

Dry and dusty

I am a capsule of energy

You speak softly

We are capsules of energy

Work as I've been told

In return I get money

Small feet in the hall"

Bat-Shit Crazy...

Turns out. I mean, maybe it has always been so, and maybe, really, we always knew this, but it is now pretty clear, I mean, blindingly obvious, that, many, no, ok, most, of our fellow Americans are pretty much "bat-shit crazy." 

You know. This pandemic thing isn't a "hoax," it is not a liberal conspiracy, George Soros and Bill Gates are not conspiring, they are not trying to fool and cheat us and plant microchips in our asses. 

I mean, Blame the bats: 

"The new coronavirus appears to have circulated unnoticed in bats for decades, scientists found. Horseshoe bats are the most plausible origin of the SARS-CoV-2 pathogen, researchers led by Maciej Boni of Pensylvania State University’s Center for Infectious Disease Dynamics said in a study published Tuesday in Nature Microbiology."

And you know, wearing a mask is no big deal. Trying to stay safe and healthy is not a radical idea. It's not an infringement on anyone's right. There is no specific right to be a "selfish asshole." Not in the constitution. I mean, I know there's that gaudy phrase:  "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness."

I know. A bit nebulous. But really. Some of this shit is just common sense. Get it together, people.

The Crooked Wheel...

The crooked wheel.

A broken spoke.

You can learn to live with it.

Don't even notice it.

You ride your bicycle everyday.

That crooked wheel wobbles.

You just adjust.

You acclimate to the wobble.

You wobble too.

You don't even know it.

You are totally unaware.

You are a badly wobbling entity.

One day, your front tire goes flat.

You take it to the bike shop for repair.

The bike tech wonders how

you could even ride

with such a bad wobble.

You shrug. You "didn't know."

You leave the bike there.

Walk home.

Hours later 

you pick up

your bike.

New tube.

Fixed spoke.

No more wobble.

Crooked no more.

Newly aligned.

It's like a new bike.

A new ride.

You fly straight.

You roll down the pavement, the path, with ease.

You can learn to live with the crooked wheel.

But you don't need to.

You can wake up.

Straighten up and fly.

Straighter than an arrow.

With ease... 

broken

crooked

wobbling

no more.

Sometimes a change of consciousness 

is one flat tire away.

The a.m soundtrack - Chicano Batman's "Invisible People." (2020). New sounds. Just "discovered" this band, actually tipped to it by Greg Kot of Sound Opinions. Per Greg: One of the "best of 2020, so far." Fun. Funky. Great catchy tunes. A melting pot of influences. Sounds so new and refreshing. Chicano Batman, the kind of Superhero we could use right now. 

Together, Alone...

J.P. Sartre -- "Hell is other people."

Seems a bit harsh. 

I'd say: People are the problem and the solution. Look around, most of our problems are caused by other people. People will be the ones to provide solutions. People = Both Hell & Heaven.

It is strange to realize that all one's "anti-social tendencies" are now survival strategies. The less human contact the better. The lonely path is the safer path. Time for silent contemplation. So necessary. We are left to our own devices: reading, dreaming, living in a world of solo actors. Living inside our heads. A long path of discipline.  Smart. Safe. Aware of germs, religiously washing our hands, staying clean, clear-headed in everything we do and say.

At the same time, living this solo trip, you realize we are all the same. We are all in this together. And if we are to solve the major and uncountable problems confronting our species, we must work together. One great community.

Still a touch of  lonely paranoia seems rational & reasonable. We are all in this together, but of course, we are also in it alone...

You Wonder

You wake up wondering what's gonna happen next...

Sunday Believing (inspired by the late great John Lewis)...

I do believe 

we need to 

imagine 

envision

a better world 

a better way

a better day

Act like we

are

what we

want 

to be.

Let Love

guide us.

Turn from

Hate

Fear

Worry

Doubt.

Lean to

the light.

Don't be afraid

to embody

the Good

the Right

the Beautiful.

Imagine

Envision

that we live Now

in the Beloved Community of Souls.

The a.m. soundtrack - The Dirty Three's "Ocean Songs." (1998). Majestic. We need to listen. To the ocean, to the trees, the grasses, the wind. We need to humble ourselves. Take in the vibes around us. There is love all around us. Life. Love. Beauty. This is a record to savor. Guitar, Drums, Violin. Everything is in the grooves...

Folks are Getting Lax...

Oh my. Folks are getting lax.

I think even really smart folks, those who are listening to "the science" are getting a bit casual on this whole virus thing. My friend and I stopped over to check out an outdoor, neighborhood concert yesterday. Nice summer evening. The cicadas buzzing.  5 musicians on the lawn, set up between between houses. About 25 folks scattered around, drinking refreshments, grooving  to the music. Most everyone was wearing masks, but a few did not. And a few folks actually got upfront, close and personal with other folks. One person actually pulled down her mask to talk to another  person. Hah! That's pretty dumb.  Another person came up and wanted to hug, and had to be delicately fended off. It was all a bit disconcerting. It's the first time since the lockdown we have been around that large of a group. My friend and I are pretty Covid Militant. We were a bit shook up. Probably won't be doing anything like that again for awhile.  Just not worth it. Even though we all crave human, social interaction. We must assume that Covid is everywhere,  everyone is infected. Maybe a bit paranoid. But, well, being militant, that's the safe and smart way forward.

Long Days in Pandemic...

My days in pandemic.

I have fallen into a weird rabbit-hole of day to day existence.

Long walks.

Long bike rides.

Long meditations.

Long song-writing sessions.

Long lunches.

Long music-listening sessions.

Long reading sessions.

Long streaming video sessions.

My days are long. I mean really, really long.

Time has slowed down to a crawl.

We wear masks outside at all times.

We wash our hands frequently.

We rarely converse with other folks.

It's a weird hermit-like routine. Not totally disagreeable.

We do tune into the news. The news is all bad. More illness. More death. The "Trump Virus" is loose in the land. The corruption and incompetence at the top is breath-taking, soul-killing. Democracy is being pummeled to death. You wonder how anyone can support the Toxic Clown Prez, but you realize there are brain-dead Zombies afoot in the land.

We hope the sensible, rational, intelligent ones can hang on til November. It's seems like a life-time away. We may all be thru with the Virus, but the Virus is not thru with us.  Hanging tight. In for the LONG haul. Hope to make it to the light...

Glimmers of Light...

Glimmers of light. It doesn't take much to crack thru the gloom...

Nancy Pelosi just knows how to put words together. She is now calling the Coronavirus, and all the corrupt shit that has descended upon us over the last 4 years the "Trump Virus." Yes. Exactly. I mean, perfect. I burst out in laughter on that one. I have adopted this as my go-to phrase too.

What else makes me smile? I found myself in an automobile yesterday. A rare thing nowadays. The windows down, summer day, radio blasting at maximum volume. Two songs defined the afternoon and left their imprint on my consciousness, two classics: The Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again," and Stevie Wonder's "Living in the City." Perfect dichotomy. Two of our greatest songs. Left me breathless, and well, strangely inspired, and hopeful.

And...

Reading about the "Wall of Moms"  and "leaf blowers against tear gas" in Portland. 

"A group of women who call themselves the Wall of Moms has drawn national attention, clad in bike helmets and goggles. They link arms to form a protective barrier between law enforcement and Black Lives Matter protesters who took to the streets after the May 25 death of George Floyd at the hands of Minneapolis police."

Yes, just like "Athena of Portland" (see previous post), this just renews my faith in the Human Project. Peaceful, non-violent protest.  Folks taking to the streets, demanding justice and a better day.  Hopeful. Sometimes Humans Beings really can do the right thing. Dare I say it, "We Shall Overcome!"

The Power and the Glory of Athena of Portland...

I must say that I was totally knocked out by this story. This image is astonishing. Let's just say that I have a new hero, or is it a new heroine? "Athena of Portland:" - As the newsprint tells us: "She emerged as an apparition from clouds of tear gas as federal agents fired pepper balls at angry protesters in the early Saturday darkness. A woman wearing nothing but a black face mask and a stocking cap strode toward a dozen heavily armed agents attired in camouflage fatigues, lined up across a downtown Portland street. The agents, dispatched by the Trump administration over vociferous objections of state and city officials, are part of a force that has fired projectiles at and detained activists protesting nightly since the killing of George Floyd by Minneapolis police May 25."

To put yourself in the line of fire. Naked as a jay-bird. Exposed. Vulnerable. Peaceful.  Maybe a touch crazy. Who wants to be that vulnerable in the face of tear-gas, billy clubs, and burly men? I mean, talk about intentionally putting yourself into harm's way. But maybe crazy-cool, like a crazy-cool kitty-cat. The wonder of the eternal feminine. The joy, the mystery, the power of a beautiful, unarmed, naked body. "Pussy Riot," indeed. 

Amazing. Poetic. Lyrical. Myth-making. Totally renews my faith in the Human Project! 

Go-To Phrases...

Some "go to" phrases...

I think of myself as "Covid Militant." Seems sensible. I am only listening to the experts, the scientists, doctors, folks with their heads screwed on straight.  I do think it's smart to tune into the intelligence, and to tune out the stupid. It's not that hard to do. 

Avoid the loud-talkers, the raving mouth-breathers, those who think they know shit, when it's clear they don't. BTW - We really need to stop entertaining ourselves by listening to idiots. It has been a very destructive trend in our culture. Check out the radio & cable TV personalities who trade in stupidity, and weird-ass conspiracies, I mean, don't check them out, TUNE THEM OUT! Pollution. Brain pollution.

I think of Neil Postman and Roger Waters, early on they told us we are "entertaining ourselves to death." Death and stupidity.

As an antidote, seek out the intelligent ones. Those dedicated to clear-seeing, clear-speaking.

Try to find an "Unwarped Perspective." Life. It tends to warp us. We need to find ways to "UNWARP" ourselves. Clear-seeing, clear-speaking, clarity in everything we do.  Meditation helps. Silence helps. Good sleeping helps. Dreaming. Yes, dreaming is essential. Eating well. Sticking with vegetables is recommended.

Alive. Aware. Awake. 

Hard Lesson #2

We must live with contradiction & complication. We must holding opposing ideas in our heads at all times.

For instance, (one of my favorites), "Life is cheap. Everything that lives is Holy."

Or, you know, (see previous post), "Life is suffering. Life is a joyous gift."

Wm. Blake once wrote: "Some are born to endless night, some are born to sweet delight."

Most of us get both: Endless Night AND Sweet Delight. It's all about proportion. You hope for less of the one, and more of the other, but how it all ultimately gets doled out to us is sort of a mystery.

We want to know what we can't know.

We want to do what we can't do.

We want to be what we can't be.

But we can know and do and be. We get the chance. To do the best that we can do. Yes. It's true.

Hard Lesson #1

We may all start out young and innocent, but it doesn't take long for that to change. We learn the "hard lessons" fairly early in the game. 

Lesson #1, and maybe the only one we need to learn...

"Life is Suffering." - Buddha 

Yeah. No way around suffering. We all suffer. We can't solve suffering, we can't avoid it, or talk our way out of it. There is no denying.  Life is suffering.

Think:

Loss.

Death.

Pain.

Worry.

Doubt.

Fear.

You get the idea.

Unsolvable, unreconcilable.

We must live with suffering. Learn to live with suffering. And still carry on. Not move past, not deny, just live with suffering as best we can.

A New Era Beckons...

I am, (surprisingly), feeling relatively healthy and optimistic this morning. Maybe I shouldn't trust my feelings, I mean, feelings are like germs, they are invisible, and they can really turn you, but this morning my feelings are strong and surging, (maybe blame the morning coffee brew: "mind, body & soul"), they are like waves crashing over and thru me, and they are relatively healthy and optimistic waves, at least that's how they seem to me. Maybe a bit strange and off-target?

I mean, in the bigger picture, it seems we are in the crash and burn phase of our global crisis. Lots of folks seem lost, clueless, or actively, stupidly mendacious.

But now, this a.m. I am choosing to think this is the beginning of a new era. An era where we appreciate science, rationality, facts, reality, truth and truth-telling. An era of progressive humanity, fully-realized in all aspects of our personal and global lives. It's a lot to ask. A lot to envision. And well, it may seem a bit heady, foolish or overly-sunny.

And not everyone will be on-board with this new era.  They will need to be pushed to the side, marginalized. I mean, we will welcome all comers, but there are always the hold-outs, the last Stalinists (I am reminded that folks cried when Stalin, the unimaginably murderous strong-man, died), I mean some folks will never "get it," they just become obsolete.

Onward, upward. A new era beckons...

When You are Inspired...

Inspired. Right? That's how we want to live our lives. Totally inspired. Enthusiastic. Alive. Aware. Awake. In the moment. In the flow of life. Open. Embracing. Expansive. Always growing, morphing, changing. 

It's not easy. And maybe it just happens, or not. Are we born that way, or does it descend upon us?

When you are feeling it, in every cell of your body, the feeling is the absolute best. All your senses are sharp, focused. Ideas are dancing in your head like fireflies. You are ready for the next thing, pretty much whatever is coming down. You are always, always onto the next thing.

The Weird Narrative...

You can't help thinking we are watching the "unraveling." Not to say that the "end is near," because, there really is no beginning, and there is no end. Just the great always expanding, undefined, middle.  We are stuck in the middle. Trying to figure out what's happening.

What's happening? Maybe the great unraveling?! 

Everything degrades, rusts, tends to dysfunction. Everywhere you look, everything you hear, everything you see, seems to be falling, sliding, pulling apart. There are "stressors" on the system, stressors on the people, and the people aren't really handling it all that well.

This is a test of character, a test of our resilience. Our resilience as human beings, as a collective species. Many of us are failing, flailing, grasping at straws. Some of us acting totally stupidly. Goofy. Clueless. Crazy thinking.

I think the antidote is Clear-seeing. That's the ticket. Not sure if enough of us will see the light before the dark engulfs us all. Yikes. It's a weird narrative. We are truly in a pickle.

Better Living with Chemistry - Electrolytes!

Steve Martin in the movie "The Man with Two Brains," (1993) famously "cooked his nines." I really don't remember much else about the movie, but that phrase has been a go-to phrase around here ever since. There was a bit of a heatwave in the heartland, and one day, no doubt, I "cooked my nines." It has happened to me in the past. This time though, I think I cooked my sixes too. Made me think of that Hendrix song: "When Six was Nine." Yes. A six is a nine when it's turned upside down and vice versa. Anyway, cooking your sixes and nines is not a good thing. There were a few days where I felt this force pushing on me. I described it to my friend as the "Unseen Hand" squeezing my head from above.

What's the remedy?! Dear Pilgrim: think Electrolytes!

Luckily, I remembered, or it came to me in a flash. They make some powders and potions that can help you replenish your electrolytes. Seems my sixes and nines have returned, and the Unseen Hand has disappeared. Whew. That's the way to do it. Better living with chemistry!

Astonishing Recording...

I haven't listened to all that many records released this year. Only a handful. And, hell, this year from hell, is far from over. We've only made it to July. These next few months could be really long months. I have a feeling we are in for some surprises along the way, but, no matter, I am willing to declare Lucinda Williams' latest record, "Good Souls Better than Angels" a masterpiece, a major artistic statement from one of our greatest musical souls. The record channels the zeitgeist of 2020. Definitively.

It is an overwhelmingly powerful record. So raw and it kicks serious ass (see previous post for first impressions). I have now listened to it a few times, on headphones, on our stereo with the big speakers in the living room. It is the real deal. Head-turning. Punches you in the gut. The band goes toe to toe with Lucinda and she holds nothing back. The drummer, Butch Norton and the guitar player, Stuart Mathis really bring it. So much fire and power and nuance and they make a big, bold, indelible impression.  Lucinda is so engaged and pissed off at the current state of the nation. Her song, "Man Without A Soul" takes a whack at describing someone we all know, someone we all hope will be banished from our lives in November. It's a great track. Reminds me of that phrase: "Anger is an Energy." Yes. The key is to be able to channel that anger, that rage. Lucinda does the good work, for sure. Every track on this record shimmers with intelligence, poetry and fire. Astonishing.

"Man Without A Soul"

You are a man without truth

A man of greed, a man of hate

A man of envy and doubt

You're a man without a soul

All the money in the world

Will never fill that hole

You're a man bought and sold

You're a man without a soul

You bring nothing good to this world

Beyond a web of cheating and stealing

You hide behind your wall of lies

But it's coming down, yeah, it's coming down

You're a man without shame

Without dignity and grace

No way to save face

You're a man without a soul

How do you think this story ends

It's not a matter of how

It's just a matter of when

Cause it's coming down, yeah it's coming down

There's a darkness all around you

To cover all you're hiding

There's no light in your eyes

You're a man without a soul

Now the exits will be closing

A sad life will be exposed

No dealer and no deals

Cause you're a man without a soul

How do you think this story ends

It's not a matter of how

It's just a matter of when

Cause it's coming down, yeah it's coming down

Yeah, it's coming down

Yeah, it's coming down

Yeah, it's coming down

Yeah, it's coming down

Yeah, it's coming down

Yeah, it's coming down

Yeah, it's coming down

Lucinda Williams

Of Course, All of the Above...

Feeling a bit blue? A bit down and out? Feel a bit like an "Unseen Hand" is gripping your head and squeezing, hard?

Maybe it is...

Spiritual

Psychological

Rational

Biological

Physical

Hysterical

Metaphysical

Logical

Delusional

Pathological

Sociological

Maybe, (and you knew this was coming), all of the above?

The a.m. soundtrack - Lucinda Williams' - "Good Souls Better Than Angels" (2020) - Just bought this one. Listened once. A total knockout. I mean, I was stopped in my tracks a few times. Head-turning music, played with true-grit. I didn't catch all the words, but Lucinda is on fire. She is pissed off, raging against the dying of the light, and the stupidity and evil nature of many of those surrounding us. She is a hell-cat. One of our finest singer-songwriters. No doubt. This time around the band totally, totally kicks ass. Stuart Mathis is phenomenal on guitar. It's raw, dirty, rocking. My jaw dropped a couple times during playback. The production is fabulous. Kudos to the great, legendary producer Ray Kennedy. Recorded in Nashville. One listen tells you this is a classic. One of the finest. Love the fire and brimstone from Lucinda. I'd go to hell and back with her, the ride is worth it. Can't wait to put it on again.  I need to understand the words too. More than worth it.

Quiet Silence...

I fell off the planet yesterday. Totally unplugged from everything. It was pretty glorious. To find my own space, cut myself off from all outside influences, sink deep into my own consciousness.

There is a quiet silence. You can get there. I believe it is a healing.

No a.m. soundtrack today. We purchased a handful of new records. Some new artists I've never heard before, and a few go-to artists we know well. I need to let the music sink in, absorb it, before I can write about any of them. I do love discovering new music, and I do love re-connecting with music that's been around for awhile too. Music is one of the driving forces in my life. Music & Quiet Silence too.