All These Years Later, Still Trying...

If you knew me then. Hell, if I knew me then...

I have a long-distance friend. He lives in Poland. I haven't seen him in the flesh in about 20 years. He lived in Chicago for a few years in the late 1990's, and in those years we developed an uncommonly deep bond. It happened almost instantly. Can't really explain it.

We came from different worlds. Our experiences, the places, the dates, the history, the social milieu, everything was completely different. We did connect on Art. We both were pursuing some kind of artistic Eldorado. He was primarily a painter, a sculptor, I was primarily a writer, performer.

We worked together on a couple of theater pieces. He built the set, actually he found a dead tree, he painted it, and it became the centerpiece of one of my ill-fated productions. And we worked together on a little pop-up gallery "skit."  I got him to perform in front of an audience for the first time. It was fun, exciting, memorable.

Anyway, lately we have re-connected over the phone. We have had regular contact, long rambling conversations. Just carrying on from all those years ago. Of course, in some ways we are the same, and in some ways we are now so different; older for sure. How else have we changed? Hard to pin down or explain.

He is now a successful businessman, with a beautiful wife and child. He doesn't pursue his artistic dream anymore, but he does talk, think and possess the soul of an artist. Me? I'm still plugging away. Not married, no children, one very close relationship with my long-time soul mate. Still chasing that artistic dream. Still performing, only now with more of a musical bent.

I told my good friend that we will be performing at a museum today. He paused and said: "Jimmy you are so strong." Funny. That comment kind of hung over me.  Strong. I don't think anyone has ever described me as strong. But I know what my friend meant. I have not stopped chasing that artistic Eldorado dream. Still creating. Still performing. Maybe I'm stubborn. Determined. Or stupid. Stupefied.

Still plugging away, still trying to do something creative, something extraordinary, something beautiful, still trying...