So those in the know have crunched the numbers, and it's clear that, just as the Bible predicted, Judgement Day (May 21) and the End of the World (Oct 21) are coming to us this year.
It seems since 1988 we've been living in the age of the "great tribulation:" worldwide hardships, disasters, famine, war, pain and suffering. Check, check, check, check, check and check!
Supposedly about 2 million of us are going to be Raptured Up on May 21 and the rest of us are basically fucked! But I'm wondering if maybe that's based on God grading us on a curve? That number sounds a little high to me.
I mean really, from my experience, I'd say maybe one or two people I know might qualify for ascension. And since some of them are of the wrong faith (Dali Lama anyone?!) they aren't actually gonna make the cut!
So who knows. Maybe God ditched the curve. Maybe no one gets Raptured, and the joke's on us?!
Anyway, ever since I stumbled upon this story I have been exceedingly happy, no, not because I am to be one of the soon to be Raptured, I think that's highly unlikely, but that there is going to be a definitive ending to our story.
I was beginning to worry that life was gonna be like one of those baffling avant garde French films where there's no real resolution, and at the end of the film you are left with a bunch of questions, including "What did it all mean?"
You come to the word FINI and you are scratching your head thinking, "This freaking French Auteur is pulling my leg!" God can't be French, can he?
