I recently had an episode. Someone I have been kind and generous to, took advantage of a situation, and well, the button was pushed, and the red mist came down upon me.
Funny. It was in a situation where if I responded, all hell would have broken loose, so instead I silently fumed. I could feel my internal organs exploding. I could feel the anger flowing thru my extremities.
I carried that with me home. Not a good thing. Not at all.
It was like a powerful, pernicious drug captivating my system. What to do? Deep breathing. Talking it out. Pacing around the kitchen for a bit. I was like a caged lion for a few hours aftewards.
I had a difficult night's sleep. But I did get thru, and the next morning, the wave of rage had subsided. I vowed to myself to not get angry like that ever again. I could feel the hangover of the event, a hollow spot in my solar plexus where the rage had been.
The slings and arrows always come unexpected, usually from some unknown quarter, or from someone close. I realize for me the worst attacks usually come from someone I considered a friend, or fellow-traveller.
Calm detachment. It's a worthy goal. But, you know, people are tricky. And shit always happens. The angry response seems useless, and harmful, not something you want to do, but also sometimes difficult to avoid. I vow to do better... but...
