"Quitters to Be Buried." - John Wayne as Thomas Dunston

I haven't seen Howard Hawk's "Red River" in a long time. I suppose, now, all these many years later, I consider it a foundational film. It was one of my Father's favorites. John Wayne actually acts. John Ford who had made a shit-load of movies with Wayne famously said after seeing Hawks movie: "I didn't know the son of a bitch could act." John Ford and Howard Hawks were two of America's great myth-makers; reimagining the American West, and the hale and hearty Men's Men who conquered it.

Wayne plays a "tyrannical" and "stubborn" man in Red River. Classic Western. A story of Men, Fathers and Sons. Montgomery Clift  plays Dunston's son. Later (in real life) we would learn that Clift was a closeted gay man with a serious drugs and drink problem. Not bad casting for the Prodigal Son.

Herding cattle across the land. That was the family biz. Now that's a man's job.

Not everyone was up to the job. "Quitters to be buried." First you shoot them down, then you bury them. Man's work. Yeah, that line was always sort of unintentionally funny, but at the same time, there was that serious message: You don't quit, you don't give up, you tough it out, you don't back out of your commitments. A Man toughs it out. A Man. What is a Man?

There were some mythic figures in my Father's world, icons who figured in the answer: John Wayne, Humphrey Bogart as Sam Spade, Philip Marlowe, Fred C. Dobbs in "The Treasure of Sierra Madre," Gary Cooper, John & Walter Huston, Steve McQueen, Ben Johnson, William Holden, (actors all, portraying, playing at being bigger than life men),  Vince Lombardi, (the ultimate, big-time coach, the real thing), Hemingway (two-fisted drinker, double-barreled writer, myth/man/mayhem). Men. Men's Men.


Of course, in my youthful rebellious years, I was assembling my own Pantheon of Icons and cultural heroes, the Soft Boys, the sensitive boy-men from what I then thought of as the "counter culture," you know, Men, with their Boy-like qualities front and center - long-haired, dope-smokers, promoting Peace,  Love and Understanding - Soft Boys - those propelling themselves into music, poetry, theater - John Lennon, Paul McCartney, Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Pete Townshend, Gary Snyder, Bob Dylan, Sam Shepard.

There was that whole Vince Lombardi code: "When the going gets tough, the tough get going." The Sam Spade code: Do the hard thing. Stand up for your code. Live by your code. Be true to your word. Be true to your partner. As a young lad, as a sensitive and ornery teenager, I hated hearing that all shit. I pushed back against it. But now, all these years later, I realize, I have incorporated that "code" into my DNA, my biome too.

So, yeah, and remember, "No one promised you a Rose Garden." And the going always gets tough. Count on it. That's life. Tough shit. You need to adapt, adjust, endure. You must be willing to "bend don't break." How you deal with adversity defines us. If you fall, or get knocked down, you get right back up. No quitters around here. Fighters.

Lately things seem really fucked up: Politically, Socially, Personally. And still, I do believe in the power of positive thinking. I do think we need to buck up. We need to dust ourselves off. Stand strong. Toughen up a bit. Sure, it's okay to cry. Big boys can cry. It might even be a necessary cleansing. Sure, take a moment, let the tears flow. Then put your boots on, pull up your britches, and face the day! I am a holistic tough guy. You know tough and sensitive at the same time. Vince Lombardi/Alan Watts/Joseph Campbell. I am bit more Zen, more open to showing my vulnerabilities. But still, I hold to a certain toughness.

And I have another universe of role models now. Many more Women figure in my personal mythology, my Pantheon of Cool. I think of inspirers like Patti Smith, Mary Karr, Yoko Ono, Joan Didion, Lucinda Williams, Michelle Obama, Hilary Clinton and my latest new favorite: Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. Strong, creative, progressive Women. Tough and Sensitive too. Yeah, from John Wayne to Yoko Ono. There's a story there.

Hilary Clinton on Incivility... "Give me a break! What is more uncivil and cruel than taking children away? It should be met with resolve and strength. And if some of that comes across as a little uncivil, well, children’s lives are at stake."

Yes.

And from Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: "Respect the hustle. Out-work the competition." Lombardi in action! "Run to daylight!"

A young, progressive woman goes out into the neighborhood and introduces herself to the people she hopes to represent. She walks the pavement, meets and greets, finds out what's on voter's minds, constructs a political agenda based on voter's needs. She plows forward. Damn the torpedoes.

We need more tough, resilient, fighters for the good cause. Men & Women. Fighting for a better day. A better vision. No quitters. Fighters. You know when the going gets tough....