I think there's a simple solution.
You feel like you are getting older? That your bones are disintegrating? Your joints are sore? You can't remember things like you used to? You are tired? You are depressed a lot? Your body is completely falling apart? You are afraid your arteries are clogged and your heart is pumping out of control and you ain't gonna live forever?
Forget the tests, forget the meds, forget the long-term hospitalizations!
"BABY, GET USED TO IT!" Problem solved - Next!