This last week I pushed myself into a state of complete exhaustion. I had something to do every day and every night, I didn't get enough sleep, I was running around, chasing after big events and small, with little time to reflect; except, once a day, early in the morning in my little blog space. I had this feeling that I was watching myself, I was so tired, my body was filled with such complete 'tiredness,' there was no room for 'me,' instead, I kind of hovered above and behind myself, following my body as it made it's appointed rounds.
Everything had less meaning, less resonance. I was the quintessential 'hollow man,' going through the motions. In a weird way, it was kind of cool, it was a way of really experiencing the divergence of body and spirit. Images and thoughts kind of washed over me, I was so passive; I grabbed onto nothing, I just let it all pass.
This morning, I feel I've finally reintegrated. These are my fingers, these are my thoughts, this body is my vehicle, my instrument. Nothing to chase today, I think I'll just let it all come down. The Lovely Carla and I are going for a Dim Sum Brunch at Furama later this morning. I'm looking forward to the floor show: Chinese women pushing little silver carts loaded up with tiny white plates filled with food of every kind wrapped in perfect little dumplings. Yum, Yum. Our bodies are just like those dumplings right? You don't know what's inside until you commit yourself, make your choice, open wide, chew and SWALLOW!
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