A Man of the Shadows

I came across a great phrase (supposedly translated from the French) this morning: 'he is a man of the shadows.' Well, yes, aren't we all? If man is 'mere complexity,' and yes, I believe this is so, one of the key challenges of life is to 'understand,' that much of what we feel and see, is influenced by 'shadowy,' forces and motivations. We 'see' the world not so much as 'it is,' but as 'we are.'

The last few nights, I have been having dreams about my mother's father, George; (I hadn't thought of him in a long time), now long gone. He died in the winter, (a heart attack triggered by shoveling snow) and I wonder if that is why he has been 'visiting,' me. I did not really know the man, although, I do feel a deep connection to him. There is so much we did not communicate to each other, there was so much time and experience that seperated us, still, there seems to be some bond or link (one of those invisible strings postulated in String Theory?) that connects us.

I have a sense of loss, something irretrievable, something that I once glimpsed, and know is now long gone. I was a young boy when I knew George. I am still that boy, and of course, I am now nothing like him. I see us throwing a football in the air, the shadows are lengthening, the sun sits on the horizon threatening to fall off. It's that time between light and dark, we toss the ball, knowing that soon the sun will depart and darkness will come.