WWSP's "The Alternate Boot!"

Sunday, August 19, 2018

What is that Stuff?!

I was going to ask Google: "What is that drug my neighbor's brother is hooked on?" But I realized, that isn't really how it works, right?

What't up with my neighbor's brother? He usually seems like a nice enough chap. But once in awhile he indulges in some unique substance that makes him go into a weird, exotic, monkey-man routine.

He was out in front of our building one night going nuts: jumping up and down, slapping himself in the face, wheezing and choking and coughing. He looked like a mad-monkey on meth. He looked like he was dying on his feet.

Weird noises came out of him. He was in major distress. You wonder is it crack, meth, synthetic marijuana, or some strange combo? Folks were out in the street, they kind of gave him a wide berth. Whatever he was up to, no one wanted to engage with him. After about 40 minutes or so of this toxic-shock foolishness he kind of mellowed out a bit.

An officer of the law came by, and they had a sociable conversation. Funny. And then the officer decided to move on to more pressing things.

Madman. The stuff, whatever is/was, makes you act like a total madman. You'd think it would be a one-time thing, maybe he accidentally took too much of something, he'd never touch that shit again, but no, our neighbor's brother was back at it about a week later. Same mad-monkey meth routine. Weird. Whatever that shit is, this guy can't get enough. Madness. I'd take the Nancy Reagan advice: "Just Say No!" A mind is a terrible thing to waste. There are the "miracle drugs," and then there are the "Mad Monkey on Meth Drugs." Choose wisely Grasshopper!

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