I am not a worrier. Not by nature. I am good at burying my fears and carrying on. Still, of course, there are deep, primal fears, like ominous black thunderclouds hovering over us, everywhere, at all times. A collective fear. Think of the many billions of human beings on the planet at once, all carrying some primal fears deep in their beings, and this fear seeping out into the atmosphere. In the ether. We smell it, taste it, breathe it, feel it.
This morning, for some reason, fear wells up, or descends upon me. What if that freaking Idiot does something really, really, horrifically stupid? My go-to position is: expect the worst actions for the worst reasons...
How bad? How much worse? Me thinks there is no bottom to this well. No end to the depths of horror that are possible. Not a cheery thought-train. Not what I want to be ruminating over this morning. I pour another cup of coffee, and type these words. Sometimes just typing is therapeutic. I express what's going on, and by expressing, maybe there's a little "letting go."
I am not a worrier. Really, I promise. I am not...
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