"Do not seek and you shall find."

"Clear consciousness." It can be sort of addictive.  The State of Clarity. I do think years of meditation have helped me learn to love clarity.  It's funny, if you meditate daily, you have these moments of deep clarity, but you sometimes think that those moments are fleeting, and then the day begins, and then you are filled with the things of the day, and that state of clarity is somehow dissipated. 

But subtly, secretly, over time, that clarity becomes something you carry with you, something you can rely on.  I'm not claiming "diamond consciousness" for myself.  The sages and holy men tell us that some kind of super consciousness is possible.  Don't know about that, and it's not something I'm looking to achieve.  

And maybe that "not looking" is important too. I just meditate. Simple steps: Sit quietly. Breathe. Still the mind. Visualize another reality. A few moments every day.

I no longer feel alienated from the world. I no longer seek the "cloud of unknowing," I no longer look for a numb oblivion. I love clear consciousness. I am so happy to have discovered it. I love clarity.  But I don't take it for granted. I know it can vanish in a moment. But at the same time, I know that it is there. It's available to me.

It's not really "Seek and you shall find." but "Do not seek, and you shall find."