The Pope Talk Stirred Me Up!

All that "Pope talk," reminded me that I was brought up "Catholic."  And what does "Catholic" mean to me? Sin, suffering, guilt, thorns, blood, nails, and wooden crosses.  Oh yeah, and betrayal. Being Catholic was not a cheery thing.  I was convinced early on that Hell was my fate. And Heaven just didn't seem real. Hell seemed real. Not Heaven.

And I felt sorry for Jesus.  He seemed like a nice enough guy. Maybe a little full of himself. And his recalcitrance shepherded him into a world of shit.  I didn't want him to suffer. And I guess I did feel guilty.  How did I contribute to his suffering? Beats me. "Jesus died for somebody's sins, but not mine."

But somehow I was implicated in the whole sordid mess. And when he died, and he incubated in that cave for three days, and then shot up to Heaven, I don't know, I just didn't buy it.  Seemed like the grown-ups were lying to me, trying to put a gloss on a really, really bad story. Kind of like when my Mom told us our dog Prince went to live with a family on a farm, when the truth was (and it only dawned on me many years later) that Prince was put down because he was a very, very bad dog.

I never really believed that Jesus ascended to Heaven, but I did, for a long time, believe that Prince ascended to a Farm!

So the whole thing kind of fell apart for me. Yes, I liked that message of Love. I liked the idea of Forgiveness, but the whole dogma thing seemed like some elaborate shell game, and somehow I was being bushwhacked.  So by about the middle of third grade I was already an "unbeliever." I went through all the motions. I tried to keep to myself, I pretended I was invisible, and hoped for the best.

And what do I think about the new Pope? Same as the old Pope, and the one before him.  He's a guy ruling over a very, very corrupt organization. Backward, closeted. And a cover organization for abusers of children.  Kind of an evil thing there, don't you think? Turns out the Catholic Church is the exact opposite of what it claims to be.  It's certainly not a road to any salvation. The believers seem like they are being duped. No thanks, not for me. I'll invent my own hell, and my own heaven, and I will gladly live with them both.