Faux Fu

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

'Why are You Wearing that Stupid Human Suit?' - Frank in 'Donnie Darko'

I woke up at 3:00 a.m. Pacific Standard Time in room 405 at the Laguna Riveria, the ocean crashing outside my window, the rain pelting down. I heard a voice in my head (was it my own?) say: "God is built into the fabric of the universe." And then this little addendum: "And it doesn't matter." I turned over, wrapped the covers tighter around my body, and went back to sleep.

It's afternoon now, back home. It was a whirlwind of a day: cars, planes, lattes, chocolate, headphones, music, cruising at 30,000 feet, runways, terminals, taxicab. Business-wise, the trip was successful, it looks like a deal (no money was exchanged, so it's not a 'real deal' yet), but there's always more to do.

Not really feeling tired, but really feeling empty. Too much business and social interaction is not good for me. I realize, I am bascially a solitary soul who needs space (who doesn't?). So much of human interaction is idle chatter. I need to turn off the 'chatter channel' and put on my 'third face.' This endless searching for a 'creator,' is a dead-end. There is only the process of creation. The universe is this incredible master of improvisation, always saying 'yes!'

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