Everything All the Time!

Yes, "divine inspiration."  That's a worthy state of being.  Even if it's a chimera.  Or blast of imagination.  What if you believe in the divine? And what if you believe it's not "out there," but that it's "in here," and it's not some kind of egoistic state of bluff, but a grounded state of bliss? And it comes and goes and must be renewed daily, or maybe moment by moment?

Yeah, what if? And really let's say it's really just a humble state of communication with the world. This divinity is a small, plain, kind of homely thing, kind of like a rock, or a blade of grass, or a cup of coffee, or really anything. And it's not what you know, but how you look... how you look and see... you keep it simple and clean and neutral...

And you take it all in, everything, all the time...

Normal Person

The Other Person: "I want you to try to be a normal person today."

Me: "Normal?"

The Other Person: "Yes. And put on a nice shirt. And act... normal."

Me: "Hmmm... well... okay... I... I'll... try... I... guess..."

Control

So yes, you realize that you are not in control of your life.  Sometimes you can convince yourself that you are, but then events conspire to show you that this is just a fiction that you've created to try to make yourself feel better.

You then wonder if anyone or anything is in control of anything.  Probably not.  You like to pretend that there's some kind of plan, or agenda, or purpose, but it's probably lots more complicated than that. The world is stuffed with life, with beings of every kind, and every being has an interest, and these interests all connect and collide and compete and... whatever.

You think of fate, luck, destiny... but really these are just other names for "what happens."  And "what happens" is just "what happens."  After "what happens," we tell ourselves stories, and try to explain to ourselves what happened and what it "means."

We invent gods and mythologies, and grand conspiracy theories to try to explain it all...

This is all backward looking, a rear-guard action... and it's reliant on our imagination and creative ability to explain things to ourselves.  Takes lots of energy.  Maybe it's necessary, or maybe it's not.  It's part of our human thing for sure...

Lessons...

So what did I learn? (See previous post). That's what you ask when shit happens right? There must be some lesson, some wisdom earned? Maybe. Maybe not.

Lesson #1: Cross at the intersection.  Wait for the light to change.  Look both ways. Yes, I know it's simple stuff.  Stuff for morons really. You may think you can cross the street, anywhere, anytime. You think you are alive and aware and can see.  But you know what? You don't see everything.  You can't anticipate everything.  There are surprises.  You need to try to minimize the unpleasant ones.

Lesson #2: Tiny decisions can lead to major calamities. You are doing one thing, and that can set off a chain of events that leads to something else entirely. So yes, you think it's time to change your guitar strings.  The next thing you know you're bringing your broken guitar to the repair shop. And things precious to you can be swiped away at a moment's notice.

Lesson #3: You are not in control.  You think you are, but you're not...

Silly Mishap

What can I say? Yesterday was eventful.  Nearly "bought the farm." And my "go-to" acoustic guitar broke.

Two silly mishaps.  "Almost dying," was interesting, but the broken headstock on my guitar really upsets me.  I wonder how Pete Townshend could live with himself after intentionally breaking all those  guitars?

Silly mishap number one nearly equaled death in the afternoon.  

I was "jay-walking", although in this case, I wasn't really being reckless.  But I also wasn't at an intersection.  I carefully looked both ways, saw an opening, and stepped into the street.  At that exact moment, a black Jeep with two teenagers decided to enter the roadway.  The driver "floored it," and I found myself face to face with my mortality.  There was no escaping.  I was helpless.  A bag of mail in one hand, a coffee cup in the other.  Couldn't move. I watched the vehicle bear down on me... that was it...

My last words.... "Oh... Fuck..."  

Thankfully, mercifully, miraculously, luckily, the Jeep swerved and missed me by inches.  I paused in the roadway and gave the Jeep the finger. That's how it happens. I guess.

The guitar, well, the guitar is so precious to me, like an arm or leg, or maybe my liver.  Can't even describe the mishap.  But there's now a major crack in the headstock.  Hope it can be repaired.  That guitar has been through so much, just like me.  It's beat and scarred, and they don't make them like that anymore... kind of irreplaceable... but of course there's always glue! Here's hoping.

Blood and Noodle X-Mas

Yes, we caught the early showing of "Django Unchained" on X-mas day.  It's quite the satisfying movie adventure.  Quentin Tarantino finds the perfect tone in this B-Movie Epic.  And Jaime Foxx proves once again that he is one of America's great actors.  Plus Christoph Waltz is Tarantino's secret weapon.

Yes, lots of blood, mayhem, profanity, and the N-Word... but it all works.  Tarantino is a great writer.  His dialogue, his cinematic eye and his use of music (Jim Croce, Richie Havens) elevates this B-Movie into high art.  High and Low meet in Tarantino's vision and it's great.

Plus it's hip and fun.  Really.

Then it was onto Tank Noodle for an Asian feast.  This has sort of become our X-Mas tradition.  Blood and noodles. Perfect.

"We are what we are, that's the way it's going to be..." B. Marley

Christmas Day 2012.  Might put you in the mind of Jacob Marley.  Me, I'm thinking of Bob Marley...  

"Tell the children the truth..." Sounds like a good policy... and just what is the truth?  Aye yes, there's the rub, my Friends...

Sunbeams are never made like me...

Funny.  For no particular reason, I woke up singing, "Jesus don't want me for a sunbeam, sunbeams are never made like me..."

Bright, Bold and Slightly Cocky!

A long weekend... that's good.  I'm thinking today's theme: FUN! I'm drinking a new blend of coffee beans called "Arriba!"  And there's a picture of a Rooster on the package.  Sort of looks like this guy. And the description: "Bright, Bold and Slightly Nutty." Sounds good.

And what's the theme song for the day? Well, of course, that would be "Little Red Rooster" from the early Brian Jones era Rolling Stones...

 

Now. Yes.

Well, I suggest you get your philosophical insights, your "wisdom," wherever you can.  For me, one of the great sages, a funky, charismatic fount of brilliance is Wayne Coyne of the Flaming Lips. Yes. Really...

"All we have is now, all we've ever had is now..." - W. C.

Mad Adventurers

As Joe Strummer once put it... "The Future is Unwritten." And as the historians remind us... the past is up for interpretation. We are sitting right in the middle of both... we call that the present.  And the present is for the taking and the making.

The one thing the Mayans tell us is that all Civilizations end.  I choose to believe that we are entering a new era of "cosmic consciousness." I mean, "why not?!" It would explain all the turmoil.  The old ways of thinking and living are coming to an end.  And endings are scary.

Beginnings are scary too.  But they are also exciting. And promising.  Let's start a new adventure.  Come on. Don't be afraid.  The water is nice and warm and there's room for more Mad Adventurers! Take the plunge!

Joe Strummer: "Without People You're Nothing."

The radio reminds me that Joe Strummer died on this day in 2002.  That seems like a long time ago now. Ancient history.  Strummer and The Clash always spoke to me. Renewed my faith in the rock and roll thing. And as they used to say, there was a time when it seemed The Clash were "the only band that mattered."  I am a big fan of "London Calling," and the sprawling sound of "Sandinista!" Really, really great records.

I'm also a fan of Strummer's work with The Mescaleros... this version of Bob Marley's "Redemption Song" is one of my favorite cuts of all time!  Miss you Joe! Miss you Bob!

What of It?

And just what is a "racket?"  A "fraudulent scheme or business." But what of the honest man or woman? What of the honest trade? What of the honest intention? What of it?

Critique of Capitalism

Watching Mad Men season 5 on Blu-Ray is very, very enjoyable.  I won't give anything away, but I like the idea that seems to permeate the show, that everything is a racket: Religion, Marriage, Advertising, Politics, Art, Corporate Culture, Theater. There are very few characters (I can only think of one or two) who don't seem to be working an angle.  No one is clean. Everyone is compromised.  It's all done quite seamlessly and fairly subtly and really works.  Yes, so the show is actually a critique of late 20th century capitalism - with lots of smoking, drinking, and promiscuous sex.  Great show...

Really, Really Complex!

We are always on an emotional roller-coaster.  It kind of comes as standard-issue equipment.  A cauldron of emotions is always churning around in our bodies.  You can sometimes still the waters, but not for long, and it's amazing what can trigger an emotional storm.  Up, down, sideways...

On top of the emotions, we have this brain sitting up in our craniums that conjures all kinds of thoughts - rational, irrational, logical, illogical, magical, ridiculous, grave, serious, stupid, you name it.  And sometimes one thought follows another, and sometimes it seems the thoughts have nothing to do with one another, and they pop up unbidden, like some weird jack in the box contraption.

And then we inhabit these bodies that have their own purpose and agenda.  And we lug these bodies around, and deal with whatever they decide we should deal with.  And this is just us. Our beings.  Now add billions of other beings on the planet that we need to contend with, and co-exist with, and well, it all starts getting really, really complex.

A Blood Tax?

Still struggling with the latest "slaughter of the innocents."  Such a horrible crime.  Mind boggling.  Disturbing.  Kind of challenges what you think constitutes a society of human beings.  And as always, there are no "answers." Crazy person run amuck.  Armed to the teeth.  Randomly gunning down children.

It's like a confounding puzzle you want to solve.  Why are there so many guns in the land? Are the "gun obsessives" in need of therapy? Is there a way to balance one's freedom to own a gun with other people's freedom of not being gunned down?

We are at a political stalemate, seems the gun lobby has pretty much won the day.  300 million guns floating around.  Guns are easily obtained.  And not just handguns, major automatic and semi-automatic weapons of destruction.

Guns are built and designed for one thing.  To kill people.  Maybe we institute a "blood tax."  Make the manufacturers accountable for the results of the use of their products?  Maybe that money could be used for counseling and support for victims of gun violence?  

Maybe we have a nationwide gun buy-back program? Can we shame people into giving up their guns? And give them cash for turning their weapons in?  Seems weird that a substitute teacher would need to own two semi-automatic pistols and a rifle.  Gun Crazy!

Maybe some creative lawyers get gun victims and families to band together in some kind of massive class-action lawsuit to make the gun makers and the gun lobby pay for their destructive products.

There are crazy, disturbed people among us.  No doubt. Millions of them. Can't ban crazy people.  I believe the craziness is just part of being human.  Of course, most of us maintain, live our lives without hurting ourselves or others.

I'm with Anton Chekov.  If you put a gun on a mantelpiece, somewhere along the line that gun will be used.  The gun will go off, the trigger will be pulled.  Could be an accident, or an act of violence in a moment of madness or anger...

Maybe we just choose not to put that gun in the scenery?  Live out another kind of story...

Freaking Gun Crazy

Horrid, despicable, unimaginable crime.  Can't outlaw crazy people.  A smart, civil society should do all it can to make it really, really hard for anyone to get their hands on a gun. Especially "automatic" weapons.

America is gun crazy.  It is a sickness.  Driven by fear. And there are many unhappy, sick people in the world.  Over 300 million guns floating around in America.  

Crazy Folks + Easy Access to Guns = Unimaginable Pain and Suffering.

Total stupidity too.  Gun advocates and the Gun lobby and the Gun Manufacturers have blood on their hands.  They should be held to account. And the weasel Politicians who bow down to the Gun Lobby should be shamed. 

Maybe some creative lawyers can band together and hold Manufacturers to account? To say nothing can be done is craven... and despicable too...

A Nearly Invisible Speck

You get these reminders, little reminders that you can break apart in one moment.  One moment.  You can fall apart.  Disintegrate into tiny microscopic pieces. You can crash and burn.  Everything you call "you" can collapse in a moment.

I don't think this should be "discouraging," no, you can keep your courage up in the face of annihilation. Remember you are special, but so is everyone else. You are the narrator of your own private narrative, but your story is not the central story... not by a long shot.  You are important to you.  To the universe you look like vapor, a tiny cloud, a blip, a nearly invisible speck in the great all-seeing eye.

And that's OK!

Good Luck Pilgrim!

I've bought into that idea that it all comes down to intention.  And I think you must be disciplined, and a stickler, and hold yourself to a higher truth, to try to make sure that your intentions are pure.  And I suppose you can never be sure.  We are such a tangled ball of confusion. And our egos get in the way and cloud our thinking.

And then of course, you must remember that "The road to hell is paved with good intentions."  And it's easy to be misunderstood, even if you tell yourself that your intentions are good.  And there are so many contingencies, and so many ramifications to any action.  And what you thought was good and pure can lead to lots of pain and heartache and misunderstanding.

Purity may be another one of those chimeras we base a life on.

So yes, even the easy, simple rule is fraught.  That's the way it works in this mad adventure.  You have a compass, but it's unreliable... and every time you turn, the needles spin... good luck Pilgrim!

A R&R Dynamo!

I'm pretty conflicted about Pete Townshend's "Who I Am."  It's a book that is sometimes good, and other times not so good.  It's an easy read. Confounding too. Pete comes across as an intelligent, sensitive soul. But sometimes you think Pete is not the best guy to be telling his own story, or the story of the Who.

He lacks perspective. He's so conflicted.  And confused.  And there were all those years of alcoholism.  And those years of cocaine insanity. He's actually best on his early formative years as a child in London.  Clear-eyed.  He's a little less good on the Who years. One thinks he doesn't really understand his own accomplishments.

If you want to understand why The Who are a great and important band, listen to their string of masterful discs: Who's Next, Live at Leeds, Isle of Wight, Tommy, Quadrophrenia.  Plus don't forget the early singles: Happy Jack, My Generation, Substitute, The Kids are Alright, I Can See for Miles.  Pete channeled his angst, his anger and frustration into his music and his wind-milling stage persona.  That's the best of the man.  An artist.

And although Pete wrote most of the songs, The Who's greatness resided in the collective dynamic between Daltrey, Moon, Entwhistle and Townshend.

Townshend's self-portrait is messy and often unappealing. He's a guy pining for some kind of spiritual transcendence, so much of his work is about that topic, but you never really get a sense of what that transcendence actually means. And much of the book is wrapped up in the mind-numbingly mundane, in all kinds of trivial, empty things. Maybe that's a life, but it's not a compelling narrative, and not very interesting or enlightening for the reader.

My favorite sentence in Pete's book, is the last one: "If in doubt, just play."  That can pretty much serve as some kind of credo.  And when The Who were in their prime, they were a powerful, rock and roll dynamo!