The days roll out, we make decisions, take actions, run down the moments of a day. The Universe slowly expands, time ticks by, you wonder if the long chain of causality explains it all? Galaxies and planets, stars & black holes, little slippery beings venturing from the ocean to prosper and procreate, and the splendiferous multiplicity of living things flourishes. The dinosaurs enter & exit.
Human Beings emerge. Human civilzations rise and fall. Kings come and go. Wars, plagues, pestillence, Ages, both Light & Dark contend. New ideas, and regimes, lord over everyone & take hold, and then they too are relegated to the dustbin of History. Finally after all the huffing & puffing, the toil, the trouble, the madnesses, the hurly-burly, the wild-ass nature of chaos and construction, we find ourselves here, in this moment, eeking out a meager existence, cultivating meagers.
I know, surely, it's not all about us, or me. Just a teeny, tiny thing: a Human Being. And we are, I am, just one of the teeming billions scrambling around on this little blue planet. At the same time we all are the main protagonists in our own little narratives. What we do, what we say, what we think, isn't that important in the big picture, but in each of our own little worlds, everything is important and everything counts. It's a head-scratching conundrum, ideed.
I sit alone in big, shiny kitchen, a room, not my own, eating a bowl of oatmeal, a simple, healthful, good thing, listening to a fabulous concert from the Grateful Dead, 5/8/77. Jerry Garcia's guitar, like rain and lightening. So weird. How did life and the long chain of actions, conspire to put me here, now, in this very particular time and place, this oddly weird moment? Did everything that has happened in the Universal story, have to happen, just so, to make this exact moment possible? And to what end, and purpose?
I have no clue. I just need to buck myself up, get ready for a new day. Living. It's a cool occupation, often entertaining, but also quite odd & strange; full of wonder & unknowing. There is, of course, unfortuantely, lots of loss, suffering & pain to endure too.
Luck, fate, chance, destiny? Whatever. I mean, yikes, what does it all add up to? I don't rightly know.
