There is sabotage from others, and self-sabotage from deep inside your own being. The first usually comes out of the blue. The second is a pernicious tendency that rises up unbidden. It is bound up with other gnarly tendencies: guilt, futility, uncertainty, hopelessness. These are just weaknesses, and flaws that are in-built into the fabric of a personality. Bad shit. Total Mojo-Killers. You just need to out-last them. They are mood depressors that you have to sometimes endure. You can actually feel those depressors flooding through your body. A great illustration of how mind and body work together as one. These are all valid tendencies, but not very useful. They are not the final word or judgement. Fleeting inclinations. Turns out, as a tricky monkey, sometimes, you are really not your own best friend.
What are the remedies?
Always be moving. Sinking into your body. Turning off the internal monologue. Pause those dark thought-trains. Going deeper. Finding a certain silence. Riding a bike on the lakefront and finding a sunny spot underneath a big blue sky and soaking in the sunny rays. Or sitting on your couch at home, picking up your guitar, and working on a new riff. Eating a good meal. Listening to a favorite record. Reading a good book. Showing a little patience with your self and the world. As George Harrison once sang: "All things must pass." That's a good thing. Really. And wait for the next thing heading your way.
