I must admit yesterday I was filled to the brim with dread. It was a complex dread mixed with a dash of optimism, after having re-emerged healthy, after a bounce-back bout with covid, (Paxlovid is a life-saver, but also can lead to a rebound-case), I was "negative" yesterday, which is "positive," and health-wise, body-wise, I was feeling pretty damn good. Except for the cloud of dread.
Why the dread? I had a gig (booked months ago), with my long-time "most dangerously under-rehearsed band" in the USA. The last time I had a r&r gig I got sick with covid, and the sickness and return to health was a bumpy ride. So the thought of going into a small saloon with a crowd seemed daunting and maybe kind of stupid. But, lots of people were counting on me. I may not be the greatest guitar player in the land, but my band can't make it without me. Really, no one else knows my parts. They would be DOA. I helped put the bill together, so if I opted out, not only would I be disappointing all my bandmates, but also the solo opener, and the closing band too. All wonderful musicians and superior, classy human beings. If I cancelled, I'd be killing the gig.
So, with gritted teeth, mouth and nose covered by a mask and a bandana, I made the gig. Small, comfy room, nice crowd. There were only two of us wearing masks, me and the girl behind the bar serving up drinks. I was a bit nervous, jumpy, but, of course, playing r&r is one of my loves.
How did it go? It was magnificent. We were under-rehearsed, and for some reason that made everything fresh, and dangerous, and our ragged, jagged set rolled out beautifully. I was playing thru one of the house amps, a vintage Fender Deluxe, they really don't make them like that any more, and my Telecaster never sounded better. Wearing the masks kind of freed me, and focused me. Plus, for this gig I decided to wear glasses, something I never do. I think I looked like an old, weathered, desiccated, brought back from the dead Buddy Holly, big fat black glasses. R&R nerdy. The revelation? With glasses on I could actually see my fret-board and the set-list. Clarity. Clear-consciousness.
Anyway. It was exhilarating to do the show. All my dread evaporated into the frozen night. "Hey, hey, my, my, rock and roll can never die…" - Neil Young. Exactly! You know, "rust never sleeps," damn the rust!
