Invisible Guide!

You look at history, I mean the history of Humankind, and you see lots of action and reaction. You see material, and lots of stuff, manufactured stuff.

But it's all those thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams, visions - whimsical and diabolical, that drives, and animates these humans, and all that they create and destroy. 

It is this vast pool of ephemeral, invisible phenomena that guides our lives. All less than paper-thin. Can't see, can't touch, but it overwhelms, guides and leads us to all that we do...

The God of Why Not?!

It is amazing how easily you can work up some enthusiasm  (derived from the latin & greek -- "possessed by a god!") for a new project.

Just one little glimmer of light, and you can conjure a whole new reality. A dream-like reality that doesn't yet exist, but could. There must be a god of "why not?" Yes, the God of Why Not?! A companion and opponent of the God of Why Me?!

What they Say, What they Mean!

Someone you've known pretty much your whole life. They haven't seen you in awhile. And then they say to you: "You look good."

They say it with a little bit of "surprise" in their voice. What they are thinking, but don't say:

1. You look bad.
2. I'm surprised you are still alive.
3. What happened?
4. Oh my.
5. You don't look like you used to look.
6. You don't look as bad as I thought you'd look.
7. I wonder if I look as bad as that?
8. Rough life?
9. Yikes.
10. Who knew?

Against the Stream!

So much of the time I feel like a salmon swimming against the stream. Guess that's my karma this life? There is an upside about always going against the stream. Toughens you up a bit. And you feel less beholden to other people's visions. You are kind of stuck with your own.

But sometimes you wonder if there's a flaw in that picture. Maybe "swimming against," means you have chosen the wrong route? The stream is always on. It's a greater energy than you. You will tire, the stream will not.

Maybe you are out of time, out of step, wasting valuable energy? Once in awhile you are carried away by a wave of energy, kind of out of left field. It's usually just a brief blast, and for that brief time you feel carried by a bigger hand.

Still, for this cold fish, those moments are few and far between.

In or Out!

If you are "in," you are in totally, completely. Embraced. Embedded. Absorbed into the heart and soul. You are part of the plan, part of the dream. You are a member of an amazing, creative brother and sister hood.

If you are "out," you might as well not exist. You are so out, you are forgotten, buried, dismissed. You are not considered, not thought about, you really don't matter. At all. 

One moment you may have been in, but then, the next you are out. And the gap between the two moments is a lifetime. It's not a "decision," it just happens that way. 

It's sort of a mystery how it happens. But it happens and then there is no "going back," no fixing, no returns, no revisiting. In or out. That is it.

Capote!

If you do a "voice-over," or I mean, you read some text in a recording studio, a cold reading, and afterwards the engineer asks you: "Where did you grow up?"

And then, that same engineer says: "You sound like Truman Capote!" And even though Capote was a great writer and a fascinating personality, you should not necessarily take the comparison as a compliment. I mean... "Capote? Really?"

Each Day a Little Deeper!

Did I ever think myself invincible? Not exactly. Although, for a time, as a young one, I acted as if death and old age were not for me. But, maybe it was more of thinking myself invisible. I could or would not be seen when the worst things happened.

I would see and hear of terrible things befalling other people, but somehow, some way, I would skate. I wouldn't fall or falter.

I don't think of things that way anymore. And maybe that's what life does to you. You live and realize that you are subject and object. All things that happen, can, and will, happen to you too.

Now a days I feel pretty vulnerable, expendable, temporary. I see my existence as sort of like an elaborate dance on bubbles. And those bubbles can pop at any moment. I can step in and out at any moment. And really that's always how it has been. 

It's just that now I feel it, know it, deep in my bones. And this knowledge makes each day a little deeper.

Embrace or Let Go

Time. It's a valuable thing. It's limited. Each moment is unique. How to live in that mode? Sometimes time swims by, some times it slows down and feels like it nearly stops. It feels fungible, it feels like it morphs. Is it real? Is it an illusion? 

As a human being, you can count the days, the months, the years. You can read them on your body. We only get a certain allotment of time. Each of us has an expiration date. That's a little bit scary. And is it a cheat if sometimes we are just "passing time?" Are we cheating ourselves?

Can we extend the moments? Can we extend the good ones, and maybe shorten the bad? Good or bad those are our moments. Do we embrace or let go? What's the best way to live?

Increase the Wonder!

The other thing great about that whole "everything is energy state of mind" (see previous post), it means that everything is connected. We are all of the same stuff. Brothers and Sisters with stars, plants, animals, galaxies, rocks, fish, black holes, matter and dark matter.

We think we are separate and different because we see through a "glass darkly." The "doors of perception," through which the universe comes to us gives us a very limited view and understanding of what the universe really is, in it's totality, and what our role in it is, and how we fit within the fabric.

Being human means we can only get a very limited glimpse of things. We base our lives on this limited glimpse. The Universe really is a Mystery. "Something is happening, and we don't know what it is..." 

All of this can be a wonderful thing - it's an understanding of the Universe that admits that understanding is limited. It holds wonder as a higher state - increases the wonder. That's a good thing.

Learning and Re-learning!

Sometimes I think we just relearn the same lessons over and over again. And when I say "we" I guess I mean, "me."

Wm. Blake famously wrote: "Energy is Eternal Delight." And as Einstein put it: "E=mc^2." Which is another way of saying that energy is mass, or everything is energy.

Yes, indeed. Energy. It's all about energy. The Universe is really just an ever-expanding container of energy. And everything we see, everything we are, everything that is, is just different manifestations of energy.

And energy is sort of this invisible animating force. It rules. And I just love it when our prophetic poets and our prophetic physicists are basically speaking the same language. Or maybe speaking about the same thing in different languages.

I recently experienced the power of energy. It was in a room. A room filled with people. And the energy of the room was palpable. It was overwhelming and overpowering. And we all created this energy that was much bigger than any one of us. I was flying on this energy for days afterwards.

When we talk about "charisma" or "confidence," or "talent" or "beauty" or "intelligence" in a way we are speaking of energy. It was once said that the great 60's writer Ken Kesey possessed a charisma that was "transactional." His energy could be passed to someone else. He could transform a room, just by entering it.

It's so obvious, so ubiquitous, so all-pervasive, it's all we are, all that is, it's invisible. And since we don't usually "see it" some of us forget it exists. But it's the whole deal. And it gives the Universe, and our lives in this Universe a totally different meaning and trajectory.

It's All About the T-shirt!

Our band is in the t-shirt business. We have a t-shirt promotion rolling out into the Universe. Join us!

1. Purchase a whitewolfsonicprincess t-shirt on Bandcamp!

2. Take a "selfie" wearing your new t-shirt!

3. Email your photo to jamesblackforest@gmail.com

4. We will Tweet, Post and Add you to our "t-shirt hall of fame!

Secret Heart of the Universe!

That Seattle Seahawks win against the Green Bay Packers last Sunday was extraordinary. Most of the game Seattle could do nothing right. It looked like the Packers were on their way to the Superbowl.

And then, late in the game, things turned. Destiny. Luck. Resilience. Will. The Hand of God. The most improbable things started to happen. The energy on the field changed. Suddenly everything was electric, alive, and possible.

And everything, absolutely everything went right for Seattle. Richard Sherman played with one arm. The Sphinx Marshawn Lynch rumbled down the field like a runaway train - off the tracks. Russell Wilson, Mr. Power of Positive Thinking, and the Ultimate Cool One, went from playing like one the worst QB's in the Universe, into one of the Greatest.

And Seattle won the game. After the game, Wilson cried like a baby at the improbability of it all. It wasn't just a game. It was a glimpse into the secret heart of the Universe. It was awe-inspiring.

You realize really, anything, absolutely anything can happen.

God-Like Power

Consciousness. It really seems like a "god-like" power. It's inside us. And around us. You wonder if it transcends us too. We just don't know.

Rods and Cones of Interior Perception

Robert Stone on the written word...

"I have come to believe that language, a line of print, say, is capable of inhabiting the imagination far more intensely than any picture, however doctored. The same principle applies to the novel, if it works. No Hollywood flick, no movie of any provenance, can ever provide an experience of the battle of the Borodino as intense as that provided in Tolstoy's pages. Descriptive language supplies deeper penetration, attaches itself to the rods and cones of interior perception, to a greater degree than a recovered, or remembered image. Language is the process that lashes experience to intellect."

Truly an Extraordinary Thing!

The great writer Robert Stone recently passed away. I read a few of his novels, Dog Soldiers, Hall of Mirrors, Children of the Light, and one of his memoirs - Prime Green: Remembering the Sixties (I am re-reading this one right now!).

He was a contemporary of Ken Kesey, another one the great minds and characters that emerged in the 60's. Reading one of Stone's books puts you in another frame of mind, another world. A world where there are no clunky sentences, where every line is suffused with intelligence and a grounded, real-world, hard-won poetry. There are also haunting, hallucinogenic touches too. Stone was one of the early users of psychotropic drugs and that was part of his consciousness too.

To me, Robert Stone was a model, an exemplar of what a novelist was - an engaged spirit and mind, alive in the world, seeing it all, taking it in, transforming it and putting it on paper. All of his work has substance and weight, and intelligence and beauty. And his books demonstrate the incredible gift of fiction writing - you get to live in someone else's consciousness for a time. It is truly an extraordinary thing. 

Simple-Minded Living!

Can it really be that simple? Do we really choose the life we live? Do we decide what kind of universe we live in? Do we decide what our place in it is, and what our life ultimately means?

Yes, I think so. We get to decide for ourselves what kind of universe we live in. For instance, we can decide that the universe is a cold, empty, ever-expanding immensity. Or we can decide that the universe has heart, soul, love and meaning embedded in it.

We can also choose none of the above, or I suppose we can choose not to choose.

But funny as it sounds, this big-time decision is ours. No one can choose for us. We can listen to the advice from others, we can search the great books, we can measure and figure and count, we can observe, we can retreat, we can noodle and ruminate.

We can delay our decision. We can spend a life dithering. A lifetime of dithering is a choice too. It sort of sounds ridiculous. Can it all really be up to us? Yes. As Philip Dick once put it, "You are the authority."

Yes, that's a little bit scary. And kind of deflating. The answer isn't out there, lightening isn't gonna strike, the clouds aren't gonna part and the voice of god isn't gonna zap us upside the head. Nope. If there is a voice, it turns out it's ours. Our own voice, speaking it's own truth, as we decide to tell it.

In the Dark, with Love!

I have a film critic friend. That is, I have a friend who is also a film critic. He gets paid to see movies. Which you might think is a really  cool gig. Except, he has to see lots and lots of movies, I mean hundreds of movies in a year. 

He sees so many movies, many of them quite good, but many of  them not good at all. Lots and lots of lame time-wasters, bad movies, terrible ones, and just plain boring ones too. He told me that he sees so many movies, it's rare for him now to revisit movies. Too little time, too many new movies to see. 

Also just the act of seeing so many movies inevitably sort of makes him a kind of "jaded" viewer. He has seen it all, and all those movie cliches inevitably jump out at him. He sits in the dark, scribbling notes, making in the moment decisions about what he will say once the thing is over.

So, once you are a "movie critic" you come to every movie with your guard up, pencil ready, a critical eye. It's not the best way to enjoy a film! Movie viewing becomes a job. And where is the love?

I see very few movies. I mean, I love seeing movies, but am very, very selective. I usually filter the type of movies I go to see. Most of the blockbuster, franchise type movies are immediately eliminated. Animated movies? Nope! Dazzling displays of CGI? Nope! Which right there knocks down the list substantially.

I only see the movies I really want to see. That is truly a luxury. For me love rules. So anyway, since I am so selective, I usually totally sink into a movie. Totally give myself up to the film. No defenses. I walk in wanting, expecting to be astonished and overwhelmed. It's a very rewarding way to watch a movie. 

Yesterday we went to see P.T. Anderson's "Inherent Vice." Such a wonderful film. So funny. So intelligent. So layered. So perfectly, beautifully realized. The year is 1970, and the vibe of that year just totally overtakes you. It's funky. Quirky. Odd. Totally engaging. And Joaquin Phoenix, with those big Neil Young mutton chops, proves to be the Brando of our generation. Yes, I think so. And P.T. Anderson? What a fine film-maker. Truly an artist. He can go toe to toe with the best - Robert Altman, David O. Russell, Martin Scorcese, Wes Anderson, The Coen Brothers, Richard Linklater. And throw in Huston, Kubrick and Welles too. And Tarantino. Don't forget him!

Love. This is the kind of movie I tend to want to see again and again. That's another luxury I have. I see the movies I want to see, and if I love them, well, revisiting them often is essential. A really fine film should be savored, sunk into and lived with. Makes life richer, and deeper, more profound, oh yeah and funnier and more joyful too!

People Who Lack a Sense of Humor!

I cannot imagine anything harder than going into the office and working on your next issue, after the slaughter of your editorial staff. Unimaginable. I admire those who carry on. I admire their dedication and courage. And of course, they must put a cartoon of Muhammad on the cover. It's the only thing to do. 

One person survived because they were on vacation that fateful day. Another person was late for the meeting picking up a birthday cake. Mind-boggling. Heart-breaking. Absurd.

"They killed people who drew cartoons. That's it. That's all these guys do. If they are afraid of that... what's their god?" - Girard Biard

"The people who came to kill us - they are fanatics and assassins - but above all, they are people who lack a sense of humor." Renald Luzier

Blow Your Mind. I Recommend It!

Blowing your mind. I recommend it. How to do it? Pay attention. Or meditate. Just look. And think. Take it in. Without filtering. Just let it all come in. You will be sure to blow your mind often. It's probably a good, necessary, thing.

The inner world can send you reeling. Sit quietly. And breathe. And let the images emerge and fly by. No telling what can happen. No telling what you will see, think, feel. There are immensities inside us. Universes, just waiting to be discovered and unleashed.

Same with the outer world. Check out the immensities of time and space. Think about the beginning of the universe. Think about the long sequence of time. Think millions and billions of years. Quite daunting. And then the outer reaches of our universe. How many billions of galaxies? I am always amazed how science, by revealing more and more secrets of the universe, actually increases the mystery of our existence. 

The more we "explain," the less we seem to really know or understand. Isn't that a kick? The latest from those wacky scientists? "A pair of super-massive black holes appear to be spiraling toward a cosmic collision of unimaginable scale..." Don't worry. It's a long ways away.

And I just love it when those wacky dudes talk like mystics and poets: "... even billions of suns squatting like Dante's Lucifer in the center of every galaxy." Well sure, of course, why not?

Luck. The Good. The Bad.

Luck. Good luck. Bad luck. Does it really exist? Does it rule our lives? You could write a book about luck. I'm sure the book has already been written.

Is every moment a coin toss? Or is every moment destined? Is everything just a 50/50 proposition, or is the grand narrative of the universe all written out and fated?

When you have luck, when you are feeling lucky, well, it's almost like the gods are with you. The wind is at your back, all the dominoes are falling your way.

When bad luck rules, it seems you can't buy a break. You feel cursed. Punished. You think the gods must hate you, and that they all just love to taunt you.

You look at the universe, and how you got here, and the long string of events that had to happen to bring you to this place, right now. The mind reels. Is it all just luck?

No to Never-Ending War!

I think John Robb has it exactly right. Those who frame the situation as a "war," or a "clash of civilizations" are falling into a trap. If it's a war, it's one that is never-ending, and actually can't be won. And will lead to oppressive, police-states. For an example of the kind of horrors that can be unleashed, please see the Bush/Cheney terror regime years.

How we frame the issue is really, really critical. And it is lazy and stupid to lump billions of people into one group. And it is false and not helpful. There are violent, malevolent people in the world. And small groups of determined fanatics can wreak lots of havoc.

We must do our best not to lose our heads in the midst of the terror. The pain and suffering seems unbearable, and it is, but we can't give in to fear. So yes, lets track down the transgressors. Let's punish the perpetrators, let's not take the bait of never-ending war.

Toxic Ideas Like Viruses!

You do wonder if pernicious and malevolent ideas, toxic ideas, are like viruses. They take over a brain, a being, and lead to terrible actions. A human being gets it in their heads that bullets will end the argument, or further a cause, and what is the cause? More pain and more suffering.

A bullet doesn't end the argument. The arguments will continue. A bullet does end a consciousness. And we are all diminished in the process. But we carry on. We remember that life is not just pain and suffering. There is love, and hope and kindness and grace. 

We must remember, we must not forget. We must live, and throw our lot in with those who live and try to make life a little bit better.  We can't forget joy and laughter.

Free and Unfree!

Yes,  thinking a lot about "freedom." In so many ways we are not free. We are captive by our genetics, by our biology, by our history, by our circumstances. Yes, we can sometimes push against our restraints, we can sometimes "rise above," the realities of our existence, but there are hard limits to who and what we can be and do. For instance, we will not be sprouting wings and flying over the city today.

But we are free in our minds, in our imaginations, in our thoughts, ideas and feelings. Ideas and dreams rise up inside us. They may be influenced by our genes, our biology, by our circumstances, but they are not bound by them. They are truly unbounded. That is where our ultimate freedom resides.  Freedom is found in what we think, what we imagine, what we dream. And this guides us in what we do. This is "ground zero," for freedom. It's all in our heads.

We can think and say what we want. We can do what we want. 

"If my thought-dreams could be seen, they'd probably put my head in a guillotine." - Bob Dylan

Je Suis Charlie! Freedom to Think & Speak Our Minds!

Freedom. The power to determine action without restraint. The power to speak our minds. If we can't say what we think, no matter how provocative, we are in a prison. Imprisoned by smaller, closed, and clouded minds. We do not know what is enough unless we know what is more than enough. So yes, let's stand for freedom - freedom of thought and speech most especially.  An attack on Charlie Hebdo is an attack on us all. Je Suis Charlie! BTW - Vox takes us through a gallery of Charlie's provocative covers.

Days of Adventure!

Adventure. Yes, it's all an adventure. Danger and unknown risks? Of course. That's life. An exciting, remarkable experience? Every freaking day!

A Challenge & Simplification!

Then Mother Nature puts in her two cents. And her two cents kind of tip the scales into a new reality. Cold. Wicked. Bitter. Crazy. Cold.

I was in it yesterday. Will be in it today. Every step is a job. Don't expose yourself. Don't fall. Don't break anything. Wrapped up in layers; sweaters, scarves, coats, hats, gloves. It is very extreme. Especially for your extremities.

All I can say is this kind of weather makes you appreciate the simple things: a hot cup of coffee, a steaming bath, a warm meal, a good book. Extreme weather is a challenge and a simplification. Can you make it through? And how will you stay warm?

The Odd-ball Club!

I'm reading two books simultaneously. No wait, that would be really confusing. I am reading two books, alternatively. A few chapters of one, then a few chapters of another. 

Both are about r&r odd-balls: Andrew Loog Oldman and Arthur Lee of Love. Both are pivotal figures in the 60's. One in London, one in L.A. Both contributed greatly to the r&r zeitgeist of the times.

I am very attracted to the odd-balls. I think I'm an odd-ball too. That is a club in which I wouldn't mind being a member. So actually I find both of these people so compelling and interesting. And each in their own way had lots of success, and lots of failure, and sometimes it was hard to tell which was which.

Interesting lives and times for sure!

Footprints in the Snow

It feels like the first time, every time. 

I was walking down the sidewalk this morning, following footprints in the snow. I realized I was following my own footprints, footprints that I left there yesterday. So, I was making new prints, following my own old prints. Wonder how long they will last? A deep freeze is coming, maybe they will freeze in place for a little while?

It's a little example of permanence and impermanence. We have the illusion that we create things that last, but of course, we don't. And a footprint in snow; how to read it? What kind of boot, what kind of gait, where is this man going? And why?

I mean, I know this man, and still, he is sort of a mystery to me. Sometimes he seems to be walking to some certain future, a path of destiny, but then again, sometimes he seems to be walking in one very crooked, one very broken circle.

Bono Delivers!

The Pope usually issues his year-end encyclical. Moses had his stone tablets. Bono has written a long, remarkable year-end post: A to Z, 2014.

It is really a great read. I highly recommend it. Bono talks about his horrific bike accident, his new titanium elbow, the possibility he will never play guitar again. Also he talks Jesus, and Davos, and family, and love and music, and charity, and hope - Bono really is an amazing soul, and I am always inspired and impressed with his heart, his head and soul. And he's got a great sense of humor too!

I still haven't listened to U2's latest, the infamous spam album, but I have made a new year's resolution - I will march to my local Reckless Records Store and buy either a CD, or vinyl edition of "Songs of Innocence." I think as long as I stick to my guns, and plunk down real $ for a real copy of the album, I can give the record a real chance!

Why? Well, for one, Terry Flamm over at Broken Hearted Toy has placed it at #5 on his list of "Favorite Releases of 2014." And well, Terry knows his music, and I trust him implicitly!

BTW - I was thinking about all the joy and pleasure U2 has given me over the years. I would put some of their past albums on my all-time favorites list - I can still listen to "Unforgettable Fire" today and it always feels like the first time - yes, it's that good.  So glad Bono is still with us, and here's hoping for his speedy recovery. 

Swimming Against the Tide!

Yes, so we are living in the future now. And the past. And the present too. The future seems really, really short. The past is ever expanding. And the present. It's basically one breath.

Sometimes I really feel "with it," and up to date. I don't live in the past, although much of my time and experience has been spent there.

But then sometimes I feel that I am "dated," lots of things that light up other people does not do a damn thing for me. And I realize this is what actually puts me out of step with the future now.

1. I hate CGI! I know it's getting better and better, and maybe at some point it will be so good we won't be able to tell whether a movie or TV scene is "real" or CGI, but today, you can tell, and I always notice, and I always think "That's CGI," and it always makes the scene or movie I'm watching less engaging. Not more.

2. Video Games - Not interested. Also movies that resemble video games? A total turn off. I do understand there is a generation of kids who love video games, who find them the most entertaining and engaging art form. I am not a gamer, and I don't see myself becoming one.

3. Digital Music Files - I hate them. Even if this is the new mode of listening to music, I'm just left cold by the whole experience. I love CD's and vinyl records, and for me, it's the only way to listen to music. I parked my iPod on a shelf, and it sits there untouched. I don't download music, legally or illegally. I don't care if it's easier, or cheaper, or the way music will be delivered to the masses. I choose not to play.

4. Spotify, Pandora, Etc. - I guess I understand that music streaming is probably the best way to hear lots of music, I mean all music, but I think this model rips off musicians, and songwriters, and I just can't support the model. I'd rather go out and buy music at my local record store. Make my own choices, bring the goods home.

5. EDM - Electronic Dance Music? Nope. Not interested. Don't dance, don't stand around in clubs watching a DJ spinning records, don't think it's cool. Don't get hammered. Certainly wouldn't listen to this stuff in my home!

6. Don't believe that if something is popular or viral it is necessarily good. I'm totally of the opinion that the most popular songs, or videos or articles or whatever are actually the lowest common denominator crap. I guess this is very much an "elitist," anti-populist stance. I proudly cling to it!

Maybe no. 6 is my most radical, out of step stance. Our culture has become some weird popularity contest. The most popular wins. Instead, I love the margins, the obscure, the hard to find, the hard to like, I gladly swim against the tide of populism!

Like I said, out of time, out of step!

2015 is Here!

Yeah, can't really tell you why I'm a little hung up on 2015. I mean, I'm glad it's here. I'm glad I'm here. It is just a number. A way of keeping count. But really, pretty much arbitrary. Probably better to count the lines in my face, or listen to the creak of my bones, to tell me and you more about where I'm at in the world at this moment.

I have had some kind of "premonition,"  or "precognition,"  or hunch, or guess, that 2015 is a kind of "make or break" year. Or is it "break and make?" Not sure exactly what that means, it just seems like a significant marker, and that the marker represents something significant.

I plan on making lots things and breaking them too. I plan on embracing the "churn." Letting go, and embracing. Going for broke, and counting my blessings, and well, living to the best of my abilities. I hope you do too.