Faux Fu

Sunday, July 18, 2004

Turns out yesterday was very odd. I definitely 'blew the picture' during my float in the 'sensory deprivation tank,' and I'm still feeling the effects. On one level, it's all very simple: I had this vision of an idealized, golden image of myself, floating in a black, star-filled, immensity. A new picture.

The result: next morning, (yesterday), I was alive, refreshed, but at the same time I felt fragile, weak, sensitive to light, not ready for the world. I ended up laying down mid-afternoon, and I fell asleep unitl dinner time. I had dinner, layed down on the couch, fell asleep until bedtime, went to bed and woke up this morning at 5:30 a.m. with after-images of dreams, of the dead and the living, still in my head.

All so very strange. The new picture in my mind, seems to have had an effect on my body. Something has changed inside. I think this has to do with the 'knowledge' that a part of me, (maybe the most important part) is 'spirit' beyond the mind/body duality. This 'spirit image', the golden body, is free: of fear, hope, desire, wants, needs, plans, dreams.

The 'knowledge' of all this is being formulated in me now. But the power, the magic, resides in the 'picture', the image. This is a 'transformation,' but I am unsure where this transformation leads.
'A man gains his soul, but loses the world.'

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