Why Do Some People Believe in Crazy Conspiracy Theories?!

"Why Jimmy?!" 

That is the question this a.m. "Why do some people believe in crazy (see previous post) conspiracy theories?"

Honestly, beats me. Maybe some people are just "wired that way." As for myself, I have always been a bit of a skeptic: "not easily convinced; having doubts or reservations." Maybe it's just a personality quirk. 

But, you know, I do have some guesses about what's going on:

We are a Species that NEEDS ANSWERS! Human Beings need answers, they hate uncertainty & ambiguity. We have even invented Gods and Demons just to get our heads around the reality of our human condition.

Fear of the The Other - Human Beings need to blame someone, or a group of someones, to explain their failures, crushed dreams, and general unhappiness.

PTSD -- We are all suffering from Post-Traumatic-Stress-Syndrome. We are all connected in a global information network, we are constantly being assaulted with bad news, tragedy, and hard to process news: mayhem, death and destruction. It's not a healthy thing to be bombarded constantly with BAD NEWS.

Too Many Human Beings (8 billion and counting), spinning around on a Planet that we are destroying. Call it the "Ball of Confusion" Syndrome. We are depleting and destroying our life-supporting, interconnected ecosystem. Species are going extinct. The rain forest, the oceans, the air we breathe and the ground we walk on, are all being adversely impacted. Maybe all this death and destruction is making us CRAZY?!

Inventing Crazy Conspiracy Theories helps human beings explain the world to themselves and makes them feel better. Maybe it's that simple?! Better to believe in something totally, bat-shit crazy, than to see the world and ourselves clearly. Let's call this one the Oedipus Syndrome. Oedipus had a moment of clarity: he realized he had slept with his mother and murdered his father. He couldn't deal with that cold truth and he blinded himself.

What Else? I actually typed into the Great Google this A.M. and came up with this article from the NY Times: "A Theory About Conspiracy Theories." I recommend reading the article. It all comes down to Psychology: 

"The personality features that were solidly linked to conspiracy beliefs included some usual suspects: entitlement, self-centered impulsivity, cold-heartedness (the confident injustice collector), elevated levels of depressive moods and anxiousness (the moody figure, confined by age or circumstance). Another one emerged from the questionnaire that aimed to assess personality disorders — a pattern of thinking called “psychoticism.”

Psychoticism is a core feature of so-called schizo-typal personality disorder, characterized in part by “odd beliefs and magical thinking” and “paranoid ideation.” In the language of psychiatry, it is a milder form of full-blown psychosis, the recurrent delusional state that characterizes schizophrenia. It’s a pattern of magical thinking that goes well beyond garden variety superstition and usually comes across socially as disjointed, uncanny or “off.”

Now. What about Fox News & Rush Limbaugh, and Hannity, and Tucker Carlson, and Alex Jones and all those Toxic, Right-Wing Noise Makers? Why do they push crazy conspiracy theories? That one is easy. It's all about the Benjamins. Greed. Power. It's a lucrative business model. A certain way to build a large and loyal audience. Sell the FEAR, Sell the CRAZY. Create an Enemy to Hate!

Anyway, thanks for playing along this morning...

The Crazy Shit...

The crazy shit my fellow Americans believe...

I listened to NPR this a.m. It is my trusted news source. Reporters who report. Pretty simple. They don't always tell me what I want to hear, often I hear disturbing, distressing, confounding & tragic news. That's the news biz. And well, in a sense that is life.

My job, I think, is to try to see the world as it is. Not as I'd wish it to be.  I mean, I can wish, I can conjure and imagine other realities, but, the smart thing is to live in the reality as it is. I think, if we can see the world as it is, we have a chance at making it a better place for all. At least, that's the "progressive" idea that I identify with.

First see clearly. Then act.

So yes, I try to get to common sense, gravity, truth, facts.  I reject grand conspiracy theories that conform to my own biases. At least, I try to as best I can. We know that we all have biases. I do my best to work around them. It seems like the smart way to live. Maybe takes a bit of extra energy, trying to sort out what I think I know, and what I really know, and what is really happening in the world. It is something I work at.

So, NPR reported on a poll that revealed the absolute crazy-shit Americans believe. Insane. I mean, not pretty. My response:

No. I don't think the 2020 Presidential Election was stolen. It is clear that Joe Biden won the vote fair and square. 

No. I don't think there is a Deep State Conspiracy that sabotaged Trump. He is clearly his own kind of toxically-corrupt Idiot, his failures are truly his own.

No. I don't think that the Chinese created Covid-19 in a lab. It's pretty obvious, and science confirms, we can blame nature and human destruction of the ecosystem for this raging pandemic.

No.  I don't think Covid-19 is just like a cold. It is truly deadly and contagious. The death toll worldwide is staggering. 

No. Encouraging folks to wear masks and social-distance are not commie plots meant to erode our freedoms. They are common-sense precautions to stay healthy & safe.

No. The coming vaccine is not a plot hatched by George Soros and Bill Gates. The vaccine is not just some money-making scam. They won't be injecting tracking devices into our bloodstreams. The vaccine really is a best effort to try to eradicate the virus.

No. The U.S. government is not run by a wide-ranging cabal of Satanists who sacrifice and eat babies... hmmm, I mean... at least I don't think so... I mean, hmmm... that's truly, freaking, major-league, totally bat-shit, cray-cray, right?!

Proverbs to Live By...

Once in awhile I think of William Blake, and his Proverbs of Hell...

Some go-to wisdom in those lines. These all resonate with me this a.m. :

Energy is Eternal Delight.

The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.

The busy bee has no time for sorrow.

You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough.

Exuberance is beauty.

Yes. Sometimes it pays to check in with a Poet. Thank you William Blake...

I just don't get...

I just don't get...

Ok. This list is probably endless, but I'm just going to do a quick off the top of my head list this a.m.

I just don't get:

The raging Trumpers

the anti-maskers

the anti-vaxxers

Texting with one of my "friends," I find out that he believes the whole Covid-19 thing, and the coming vaccine, are just plot elements in a grand evil plan. So weird. It is hard for me to get my head around.

I must say I recoiled in befuddlement. Made me think about finding a new friend. That kind of mad-talk is just so corrosive & off-putting and frankly ridiculous. I mean, I guess we have all seen the movies. Some great evil puppet-master is behind the scenes, pulling all the strings.  Makes me think of Dana Carvey's "Church Lady" - "Could it be Satan?!"

I don't think so!

So glad Trump will be waddling off soon. So happy to be wearing a mask. So excited about, and deeply hoping, to be getting the vaccine sometime in 2021. We believe in democracy, nature, science & common sense around here. WTF!

Dreams. Yes. Dreams.

We are all "survivalists" now.

No. Not stocking up on guns and ammo. Not planning for the apocalyptic race war. That seems so retro, so old-world stupid. No, stocking up on healthy, organic, good-for our-bodies food, good vibes; stocking up on books, movies, cds. Feeding our heads, don't you know? Nourishing our imaginations, furnishing our imaginative spaces, conjuring up better days; a post-vaccine paradise. Why not?!

Of course, we have to make it to the vaccine without getting sick. Not a given. Just a hope. Doing everything we can to make that a reality. Some of it is out of our control. A bit of benevolent luck is required. Maybe a little dance or prayer? Whatever it takes.

Hunkering in. Stripped down to the essentials. This whole ordeal does remind us what is important: good health, hope, good friends, laughter, life, joy, music, love, compassion, tears (it's ok to cry once in awhile), imagination. Our survival-kit. Plus a healthy dose of optimism. Dreams. Yes. Dreams. Plenty of dreams.

Opening Lines...

Memory. 

My good friend tells me I have an amazing memory. Hah! I do for some things. Then again, there are long stretches of my life that seem like a blur. There are blanks and gaps everywhere. What happened in the 80's, the 90's? Hunh?!

I guess, I am good at remembering things that I remember, the things that made a deep impression me. Probably just like everyone else.  For instance, we were discussing favorite r&r albums, and I started rattling off great "opening lines" of opening songs on the albums that are seared into my DNA. I mean, these might be the greatest of the greatest opening lines, ever carved into vinyl (I mean, according to me). This subject came up when we were discussing Angelica Garcia's 2020 album. Her record is one of the finest, head-turning, inspiring & unique albums we purchased this year. This list is off the top of my head, no Googling. I think it tells a little story about me, in the remembering...

1. "I don't believe in death." - Angelica Garcia's album: "Cha Cha Palace" - (2020)

2. "Jesus died for somebody's sins, but not mine..." - Patti Smith's album: "Horses"  - (1975)

3. "Once upon a time, you dressed so fine, threw the bums a dime, in your prime, didn't you?"- Bob Dylan's album: "Highway 61 Revisited" - (1965)

4. "Mother, you had me, I never had you..." - John Lennon's album: "Plastic Ono Band"  - (1970)

5. "Please allow me to introduce myself, I am a man of wealth and taste..." - Rolling Stones' album: "Beggars Banquet" - (1968)

6. "The screen door slams, Mary's dress waves..." Bruce Springsteen's album: "Born to Run" - (1975)

The a.m soundtrack, it's a good one: The Flaming Lips "The Soft Bulletin" (1999). A fabulous blast of optimism, enthusiasm, intelligence & heart. Certainly a masterpiece r&r record. Not what you expect. Tremendous. Heart-warming. Head-opening. Hopeful. "Okies on Acid." Or maybe not. Opening lines from the opening song, "Race for the Prize:" "Two scientists are racing, For the good of all mankind, Both of them side-by-side, So determined..."

Druids Celebrate Too!

Druids celebrate too. Photo of Stonehenge by Bill Brandt, 1947...

We think of ourselves as Druids around here. The birth of the Little Baby Jesus doesn't quite have the same resonance for us that it may have for other folks. For us, Little Baby Jesus is just another Human Being who came and went. A kind of cool guy who preached love and forgiveness, caused a bit of a stir, and came to a hard end. Born, lived, died. Join the club.

Still we will celebrate today. What is our ritual today? 

Ring the the Tibetan Singing Bowl Three times.

Long Meditation.

Chinese food - order in!

Listen to some new music, all of it rich, perfectly-realized and totally fabulous: Wilco's "Ode to Joy," (2019), Talk Talk's "Spirit of Eden," (1988), Daft Punk's "Random Access Memories" (2013). My three new favorite records of the moment.  

Sing and play live music in the kitchen - 2 voices, one guitar, various percussion instruments. Working on some new songs. 

Watch a couple of movies. Thinking "It's a Wonderful Life," - yes, it's sappy, but perfect too. And maybe something a bit edgier, but not sure what yet.

Rituals for a well-rounded life...

The a.m soundtrack - "Fever Ray" (2009) - Such a freaky-cool record. Karin Dreijer is a strange one. Compelling "techno" music. Karin manipulates her voice, she sometimes sounds like a mystical faery, sometimes like a dark, foreboding man.  Pretty amazing. Nothing else like it. Compelling. Enchanting.

Humor & Wonder... Still...

Christmas Eve Pandemic-Style, 2020...

Temps plunged over-night. It's the deep chill. A few snowflakes swirling in the air. A crack of sunshine too. It's quiet around here. We aren't going anywhere today. Not visiting any relatives or seeing friends. Just the two of us here, hunkered down, hanging out with our little 4-bird flock. It is comfy. The old radiators are clanking & wheezing, working overtime to keep up us warm.

We will occupy ourselves with Art, Music, "flow activities." Reading books. Streaming movies. We ordered pizzas yesterday, they are sitting in the refrigerator, waiting to be heated up. A bit of smart planning there.

We feel lucky. We have a roof over our heads, we are still making the rent, still eating well. Some of it seems like defying gravity, smoke and mirrors really, just hanging by a thread, but we are doing it. We are hopeful, we still have our sense of humor and wonder.

The world outside seems totally crazy, off the hinges. There's a deadly, raging pandemic. The worst it's been since it started. Lots of folks getting sick, lots of folks tragically dying. Lots of folks in denial, and resistant, defiant against the best medical advice out there. It's a bit disheartening. Human Beings are a tricky, complicated species. Pretty unreliable, selfish, egoistic.

Plus the rest of the news is pretty much all bad. Injustice everywhere you turn. Some times things just don't work out. Some times the Good Guys don't win, sometimes Innocent Human Beings suffer for no good reason. And the Bad Actors are rewarded. It's difficult. Hard not to be disappointed, bitter, unhappy.

We choose a different path. We can't fix everything in the world. Just not possible. So we work on ourselves. Meditate. Find the calm center. Run the Gold. Lean to the Light. Take a positive stance. Things can get better. Life will go on. There are the small pleasures and wonders. Take joy in the little things.

We will work on a new song today. We will laugh. We will enjoy the streaks of light shining thru the window. There is a big, beautiful Christmas tree in our living room, lights bright and twinkling, a little angel sitting up top. We will honor that. We made it. We are here. Still breathing. Hearts still beating. That's good enough. More than good enough. Very, very good. Everything.

The a.m. soundtrack - "The Worst of the Jefferson Airplane" (1970). A compilation album. All their hit singles, plus. So great. A blast of 60's San Francisco, psychedelic optimism and head-opening sounds. A great American band. Sounds so fresh. Three strong voices and songwriters: Grace Slick, Marty Balin, Paul Kantner. Superb musicians: Jorma Kaukonen - guitar, Jack Cassidy - bass, Spencer Dryden - drums. Fabulous...

Gaseous Dirigible Slimes Us All...

Also totally predicable... 

Totally morally bankrupt and corrupt leader pardons war criminals and corrupt politicians and political flunkies. I mean, not surprising in the least. That's what you get if you elect a corrupt and "conscience-less" human being to the highest office in the land.

We can expect more of this in the waning days of the Gaseous Little Baby Man Dirigible.  Everyone will be slimed. We have been living in a Kleptocracy ("government by those who seek chiefly status and personal gain at the expense of the governed") these last four years.  I expect Gaseous to pardon more friends and family too. Will he try to "self-pardon?" Inquiring minds want to know. Such a corrupt, disgusting lot of scumbags and two-bit, boot-lickers.

Yes, it's a mockery and sham. Total disrespect for the rule of law. A sad, bitter joke. But you know, my Outrage Meter is broken. It's been stuck in the red for nearly 4 years. It's cracked and not functioning anymore. I am outraged, and exhausted. I must manually dial down the outrage gauge. Keep it at a low simmer. The Biden/Harris era is coming. Sweet Jesus. Please.

Gaseous lowers us all. Everyone of us is diminished by his thuggery. We must find a way to cleanse ourselves and to conjure up new dreams and better days. We need a rebirth, a renewal, a better America, a better world. Here's hoping for a  deep-cleanse for all.

Raging Against a Brutal Wind...

This was so predictable: Trump turns on everyone...

The Gaseous Little Baby Man Dirigible is still slowly, oh so slowly imploding. You almost hate to watch it, or comment on it. Joe Biden will be sworn in as President in 29 days. Hallelujah!

Still the Toxic Fool can't help himself. Such a very ugly display. I mean, it is also pretty damn funny. Trump just can't get it thru his thick skull that he lost the election fair and square. So now he is doing a numbskull version of King Lear: the mad king raging, losing brain-cells at every uttered syllable, blubbering, spittle-flying, raging against a brutal wind, and lashing out at everyone around him.

"President Trump, in his final days, is turning bitterly on virtually every person around him, griping about anyone who refuses to indulge conspiracy theories or hopeless bids to overturn the election..."

Clueless. Classless. Pretty damn sick too. Oh yeah, anti-democratic & anti-America too. A mind is a terrible thing to waste.  Gaseous Little Baby Man = total loser. Hah!

Discipline. Under-Appreciated!

Discipline. 

Maybe under-appreciated?

Living in the land of plenty, in the land of the over-stuffed, the hyper-caffeinated, the constantly morphing & roiling hurly-burly, the belly of the beast, always-on, overwhelming, 24/7 megalopolis of cheap thrills, easy distractions, sexy come-ons... 

... it is so easy to lose our minds. To give up our space to the crowd.

Mental space is a precious commodity. I mean, it's not even a commodity. You can't buy it. You can only cultivate it, grow it like a garden, it's a living thing, invisible, inside of you. A sacred space, a secret garden, a safe place of contemplation, silence, deep breathing.

Without discipline, without a practice, you are toast. Invaders from all sides. If you don't learn to protect your inner space, everything can come crashing in.  Best to practice. To decide what you won't do, where you won't go, what you won't listen to, or watch, or take in at all.

Sometimes less really, really is more...

The Religion of a Living a Good Life...

Rituals....

We don't follow any particular religion around here. Except maybe the religion of living a good, meaningful, engaged life. Don't need no priest or preacher or Big Daddy in the sky to make that work.

We figure we can pick and choose the best tidbits from all the major religions, and philosophers, and thinkers, and other minds, from all walks of life to forge some meaning, purpose, fire, joy, happiness, intelligence for our day to day living.

Life doesn't need any justification. It just is. May as well live as best we can, in our allotted time. Yesterday was all about our own, homemade rituals. We had no appointments, nothing we had to do.

So what did we do? A long series of ritualistic actions. Filled up the day: Coffee time, listened to the radio, wrote in my blog, worked on song, meditated, a long rambling walk on the lakefront, lunch, clean-up time (brooms, mops, Meyer's All Purpose Cleaner), watched a movie ("Snowpiercer") read my M. John Harrison book "Nova Swing." It was a pretty full day.

We did all of these activities as if they were like the "stations of the cross." You know, pivotal, important, richly meaningful actions. And by thinking of them that way, by investing concentrated energy into them, they were transformed. Just as we were transformed.

I was the DJ too. We blasted the music on the big stereo in the living room, and then on the little stereo in kitchen. The soundtrack really was amazing: George Harrison's "All Things Must Pass," (1970), John Lennon's "Plastic Ono Band,"  (1970), "Steel & Glass," (1974),  and "Mind Games."  (1973). Major works of art. Almost "holy" relics. Magnificent. So important to us. So lively. So intelligent. Big, over-stuffed records about the essential, important things. So life-affirming, fun, engaging. I must say John Lennon's voice has always hit me right in the solar plexus. So powerful & compelling. This music never fails to speak to us, even these many years later. 

Human History? Shite!

If you study history (I know, I mean, who has the time? There is more present than we can handle, we are always stuck in the eternal now.), you know that "normal" doesn't really exist. Getting back a sense of "normalcy" is an illusion/delusion.

We are always in turmoil. Always in a crash and burn phase. Just look across the planet. War. Famine. Pestilence. Corruption. Haves vs Have Nots. The never-ending story. Conflict. Look across time, world wars, slavery, genocide, concentration camps, nuclear bombs, humans killing other humans for the stupidest of reasons. It's a long, gory story of failure, barbarity and stupidity. So yes, 2020 has been a hellacious year, but it's just one of those years. Not worst ever, not the best by a long-shot. Eventful. 

We are hoping to get through. Keeping track of days and of years is an activity that is also a bit of an illusory thing. Trying to keep track. Counting. We are a counting kind of species. 

It is instructive to study history. What did other human beings do in other times? How did they deal with cataclysms, shocks, self-fulfilling devastations-unimaginable?

Getting thru. Keeping our heads. Living a life, bounded by demons, dragons, deathly deeds, bad actions, crazy ideas, wrong turns.  It's a wild thing: the long slog of human history. Turns out humans are pretty hard on humans. We are our own worst enemies.

Shite. We can do so much better. What is a humble Pilgrim to do? Try a bit of clear-seeing. Read up on your history, then sit in silence, cultivate a bit of humility and humanity. We are capable of such great, mindless horror and such incredible kindness & beauty. We can learn, and lean to the light. I do believe.

Transform Yourself/Transform the World...

I am reminded again...

Whenever anyone starts to tell you what "God thinks," it's time to hide your wallet and skedaddle. Most assuredly what you are getting is someone's skewed, very flawed, human-centric, mumbo-jumbo. They are telling you what they think, and it's almost assuredly a load of B.S. clothed in biblical, religious finery. Usually you find out that God is a bigot, a racist, a homophobic, white, conservative, evangelical who wants to reward the God-fearing ones, and condemn everyone else to the flames of hell.

Oh yeah, and their God is perfectly happy with them raping, pillaging, and accumulating great sums of money. Turns out their God is a greedy, capitalist fuck who hates poor people. Weird.

It's all a gory fantasy: Envy, Revenge, Judgement, Retribution. Pretty damn ugly. These folks talking about God are a close-minded, bitter, lot. Please avoid at all costs.

I'd like to reclaim God for the mystics. I mean, God or no God? Who knows? 

I do think you can find the calm center inside. You can find some peace and light in the stillness. You can connect with everything in the Universe. I know, I have done it myself, experienced it via a dedicated  meditation practice.

No great promises. Just a certain calmness, centeredness, and connected-ness. Tune out the noise, find the silence. As Stevie Winwood of Traffic once sang: "Heaven is in your mind." Now that's something to work towards. A practice of stillness and contemplation. Transform yourself/transform the world.

Who Knew?!

Yikes...

We are hearing stories this morning about spiking Covid-19 cases in the wake of Thanksgiving gatherings across the land. Hmmm... who knew?! I mean, like everybody?!

Young folks coming home to celebrate with the old folks, everyone passing the virus around, the (primarily) older ones ending up in the hospital. Some of them dying. We were told this would happen. We were warned. 

We are now getting the same warnings about X-Mas. We wonder if our fellow Human Beings are listening?

What are you willing to give up to try your best to stay safe and healthy? Think about giving that up in the near term. What is more important than your health? What is more important than breathing free and clear? 

You would think that simple, common-sense, self-preservation would kick in. But that is assuming that you are one of those who "believe" in science and medicine, that you trust main-stream news sources and you live in a world of truth, facts and cold-hard realities. 

Turns out lots of our fellow Americans don't live in that space. They are conjuring an alternate reality. It's a mask-less, entitled, clueless game and a scam. It, improbably, breaks down: Blue vs. Red. Democrat vs Republican. Amazing. Ridiculous. So dumb.

We are starting to think some of our fellow Human Beings lack a bit of smarts, imagination & empathy.  Some of us seem to miss the point that in most ways, we are all the same. Human Beings. None of us are immune.  None of us are invincible. None of us are smarter than Nature. All of us can succumb to a nasty, deadly, super-contagious virus. You are one cough, sneeze, breath, hug, away from disease. It's pretty simple, common-sensical. It's elementary, my Dear Watson!

Think better. Act smarter. Come on, drop the delusion of grandeur, get in the real world, let's make it to vaccine season together!

Lessons...

We keep getting the same lessons over and over...

Do we really learn, or do we just experience, and re-experience, the same experiences?

No matter what you are feeling at the moment,  that feeling will pass. Everything does. For instance: you can have a grand epiphany, a momentous feeling of transcendence, but it is only momentary; it's fleeting, insubstantial, ephemeral. You can recall it, like a happy dream, conjure it up over your morning cup of coffee, and you can find solace in the knowledge that you did have an epiphany, but then, you are snatching at a chimera, a mythical beast, you do know you felt it, saw it, experienced it, and it changed you, but still, that initial thing is gone, you are left with the day to day life thing.

Life gets in the way of our grand lessons.

Another day goes by, what did I learn yesterday? Life is precious. Ephemeral. I found out that a friend from the distant past has died. So shocking. A sweet, creative being. Someone younger than I. Yikes. The clock is ticking...

Reminded me, yet again, that although humans are resilient, tough, adaptable, rugged, able to endure lots of hardship & suffering, we are also fragile, temporary, easily broken, so sensitive, dream-like, cloud-like, and we often come and go like a crumpled leaf in the wind.

Glimmers of Light...

I've decided to be blazingly, incandescently optimistic this morning. The radio tells me the vaccine is coming, the first, front-line workers are getting the initial round of doses. We are still in the middle of a raging, super-contagious pandemic. Disease and death lurk everywhere, it's hiding behind every little smile and hug.  Pretty weird. It's dangerous to be a social animal. But there are glimmers of light. And hell, give me a just a little glimmer of light, and I will run with that fucker as if my life depended on it.

We've had to adjust. We don't do lots of things we used to do. We have given up many things we love to do to try to stay safe. And of course, we've adopted new habits: frequent hand-washing, social & physical distancing, and mask-wearing. It hasn't been that hard. I mean, many humans have to make many sacrifices harder than us. Many humans have made much more difficult sacrifices. Many of our fellow beings have succumbed to sickness and death. What a tragedy.

We actually feel kind of lucky around here. We are hanging in by a thread. It's all smoke and mirrors.  But somehow we are making it. Winter is coming. Some say it will be a "dark winter." Maybe so. But we are ready and willing to endure and to survive. We hope luck sticks around us for awhile.

The vaccine is coming. We can start to dream of a post-covid world, and a renewed Democracy. So happy that the new Biden/Harris era will be rolling in. Looks like our little democratic experiment actually will survive. Turns out they way it works: people vote, we count the votes, the person with the most votes wins. Simple. Common-sensical. All the raging and noise is just so much jet-trash. The Toxic Clown Autocrat Asshole has gone down in a major defeat. Fuck him. Can't wait for the day when that fat fuck waddles off to meet his fate.  As my father used say: "He will get what he deserves." I do believe.

The a.m soundtrack - The Drive By Trucker's "Go-Go Boots" (2011) -  There is a something glorious about a r&r band, live in a room, the classic configuration: bass, drums, guitars, vocals, keyboards; all clicking together, vibing off each other. The Truckers have two excellent songwriters, 3 vocalists, so American. So rich, funny, powerful, profound. Exquisite. This record also features a cover of Eddie Hinton's fabulous song, "Everybody Needs Love." It's an anthem. Blazingly, incandescently optimistic. Tinged with sadness. That's the best stuff imaginable. Great band. Great sound. No doubt.

Just Born that Way...

I don't know why I am the way I am. I think: "just born that way." Whatever that means.

I have always been the optimistic sort, I see the glass-half full. My morning coffee addiction helps. For some reason, the caffeine fires up my imagination, and I tend to lean to the light.

I do know it's a "crazy world" out there. There are lots of competing interests and conflicting narratives. Not everyone sees the Universe, the way I see it and "that's ok." And, you know, the "way I see it" is even a moving target for me.

I have no problem admitting I just don't know what's going on. I think it's okay not to have all the answers. I am not afraid of the not knowing, the constant wondering; I am comfortable with that mental framework. 

I do know life is pretty great. Even if there is constant strife, turmoil, suffering, sickness and death looming over everything. That's just part of the deal.

I believe in following your dreams. I believe in the creative enterprise. I believe in the human imagination. That's enough for me to give it a go, to get up, face the day, try to actualize it, one day at time.

Keep it Simple...

As you go forward in life, you might want to make judgements about the "big things." You know, what's up with Universe, what's the meaning of life, why are we here, where are we going?

But maybe that's all just foolish, mumbo-jumbo.  Maybe better to keep it simple, close to the vest, make as few judgements as possible, keep your feet on the ground?

Open-ended. Open-minded.

You know...

Breathe

Be present

Open your eyes

Take it all in as best you can

Be smart, be aware, be awake

Enjoy your time here, now

Don't judge life, experience it.

Plague Fatigue...

The little progressive blue bubble we live in seems to be shrinking. It's getting tighter and tighter around us. Not so much comfortable, as claustrophobic. A sort of mental strait-jacket has descended upon us. Our little world has gotten smaller. Covid-19 is raging. There is a storm of sickness and death across the land. The vibe in our town is pretty bleak. Even with masks on, and from a healthy distance, folks are showing all the signs of a heavy depression.  Plague fatigue has kicked in. There is news of a vaccine coming, better news on the distant horizon, but still the fix is probably months away. There is a grim determination to carry on, to stay safe, to hunker down until we can all get a dose of immunity. But who knows?! The crazy is still alive in the land, so many of our fellow human beings seem to be acting like, selfish, clueless,  numb-skull shits.  What's a Humble Pilgrim to do? Turn up the music, playing the Zombies this a.m. and vowing to "damn the torpedoes." We want to live see a better day on the other side, post-Covid, post-Vaccine.  Here's hoping.

Love Rules...

A deep emptiness yesterday...

If you are a human being for any length of time, you come to the realization that Life is about Love and Loss. You want to fill your Life with the things you Love. But no matter how fill up, you will Lose them. No telling how or when. That's just how this Universe rolls.

There are the big losses and the little losses. Everything counts. Probably best to Love lots of things. Take in as many things as you can, and Love them Truly, Madly, Deeply. Might make Life a bit-overstuffed, and messy, but that's OK.  Embrace, engage, occupy, submerge into Love. Live in Love.

Turns out the things you Lose will increase your Love for them. Loss multiplies Love. It's a weird calculus. So, even in the Losing, Love Rules.

A Difficult Day...

Yesterday was a difficult day...

I had no idea it would be a difficult day. That's how it goes. A day comes along, so like the others, except, not really like any of the others that came before this one day.

I have a long-time friend, a sweet little being, the furry, four-legged variety. I have known her many years, it's bit fuzzy, but I think I have spent time with her every weekday for almost seven years. We have walked together. Hung out. Thru the rain, the snow, the blazing sun, the hot, the cold, the dark, the raw. We have mainly had good days together.  We have pretty much seen the best of each other. Always happy to say "hello," even on those day we trudged thru the thick and not so thin.

How many steps together? How many grains of sand on the beach? How many stars in the sky?

Anyway, before our walk yesterday, I was told by her folks that this would be our last walk together. I kind of knew this day was coming, my little friend had been growing more and more thin, frail, fragile. She usually put on her best show for me, she always rose to the occasion, but her nights we getting difficult, she was on a cocktail of meds to get her thru, her folks didn't want her to struggle or suffer any more.

So our last walk. We went to the lakefront, as usual. We saw the sand, the water, the sky, the clouds, the trees. Everything seemed to glow, everything seemed a little bit more present. We walked side by side. Slowly, savoring each step. She picked up the pace a bit as we turned for home, this was her usual way, always happy to be heading back home.

I brought her back. Gave a big hug. Held her in my arms. I rested my hand on her head. I said a few words to her, her eyes so dark, deep, mysterious, shining, full of wonder. 

Goodbye my friend.

The God Conspiracy...

Conspiracy Thinking....

It's rampant in the human herd. It's a plague, a pestilence.  Disinformation, mistrust, and grand conspiracy-thinking clouds humanity's collective mind. It's a hall of mirrors, bounded by mirrors. 

Conspiracy thinking has been with us for a long time. I think about the "God Conspiracy," you know it's been with us since early man.  The God (or Gods) conspiracy tells us there is an all-powerful being or group of  beings who started the whole shebang ticking, like a wind-up top, a mysterious coterie of deities that are so mysterious, we are never sure whether he, she, or they, really exist.

Good shit, or bad shit happens and we want to credit or blame someone, God or Demon? Yes, there are the dark deities too. Are these players passive, just sitting back watching the show, or are they active puppet masters? Do they once in awhile weigh in, push events along, test the human herd to see how we all react under pressure?

Is the Universe one grand playground for Gods and Demons? Are we just like little chess pieces?

Deities of all kinds: All powerful, all judging, grand creators, responsible for every grain of sand, every leaf on the trees, every little insect, and every last being in the Universe. More powerful than Bill Gates, or George Soros. More powerful than some shadowy group of devious capitalists running things behind the curtain.  The Grand OZ has nothing on the Gods.

Yikes. All powerful. All knowing. Now that's a freaking conspiracy you can sink your teeth into... 

Luck. Good and Bad.

Luck: "a force that brings good fortune or adversity." 

Right. Luck. Good or Bad. You know, it's like a God with two Faces, or maybe it's two Gods: Lucky & Unlucky. Luck (either flavor), works in mysterious ways. It is so mysterious that, just like God, you are not really sure whether it even exists or not. If it does exist, if it works like a God, it seems to be a bit indifferent, or ambivalent, or capricious to all things human. Luck is definitely inscrutable, unreliable. Luck likes to Fuck with people.

We can pray, we can beseech, we can (contrary to Jim Morrison of the Doors), petition, but Luck seems to do what Luck will do. Sometimes we live under a Lucky Star, everything just breaks our way, and  sometimes we are Snakebit, plum Out of Luck, nothing works.

Being Lucky is sort of a magical, enlightened, sainted state. Being Unlucky is a plague, a blight, a curse, a sorry, good for nothing state.

There is also a middle state, maybe we'd call it "stupidly, muddling thru;" a state where you aren't either lucky or unlucky, you're just breathing.

And of course, we take Luck personally. Hard not to. Luck may be a blind, impersonal force, but it's hard not to live and die on the Island of Luck. Blessed or Doomed. Choose your island. Yikes.

You Hope to be Lucky (in a good way).  But it doesn't seem like something you can cultivate, or work for, or earn. Now that seems unfair. But I mean, shite, add it to the list of unfair things...

"There is no substitute for luck." - Uncle Zip, from M. John Harrison's novel "Light."

Bats in the Belfry...

A reader wonders, "What's up with that 'batshit crazy' phrase you toss around?"  Funny.  It's one of those phrases I have employed with no idea where it comes from. I mean I use it to describe someone really, really, really crazy. You know, not just your normal, human being crazy.

From the Urban Dictionary: Batshit Crazy - "A person who is batshit crazy is certifiably nuts. The phrase has origins in the old fashioned term "bats in the belfry." Old churches had a structure at the top called a belfry, which housed the bells. Bats are extremely sensitive to sound and would never inhabit a belfry of an active church where the bell was rung frequently. Occasionally, when a church was abandoned and many years passed without the bell being rung, bats would eventually come and inhabit the belfry. So, when somebody said that an individual had "bats in the belfry" it meant that there was "nothing going on upstairs" (as in that person's brain). To be BATSHIT CRAZY is to take this even a step further. A person who is batshit crazy is so nuts that not only is their belfry full of bats, but so many bats have been there for so long that the belfry is coated in batshit. Hence, the craziest of crazy people are BATSHIT CRAZY."

Yeah. "Bats in the Belfry," that's half of America in 2020!  BTW - here's a little video about bats.They are not as scary as you think. Some bats are blood-suckers, but most eat insects and vegetables. They are nocturnal, they use echolocation to navigate (they see sound!),  they are pollinators.  They have a very important job in this interconnected web of life ecosystem, they are instrumental in collaborating with plants that result in bananas, avocados and mangos. Nice work bats!

Snappy Questions Without Snappy Answers...

This morning's fundamental question:

How do we think, right, I mean, how do we think correctly?!

How do we know what we think is the case? 

How do we know our brains are working correctly? How do we know the words we use accurately reflect the world, and the reality that surrounds us? How do we know our thoughts are coherent, and make sense, are logical and rational?

How do we know what we know is what is? Really?

Maybe we can check in with the Universe: Do the thoughts in our heads match up with what we find in the world? Do our thoughts appear to verify what we see, feel, smell in the world? Does gravity still seem to work? Does the sun rise in the morning? Does 2+2 still = 4? Do we cast a shadow? Do we see ourselves in a mirror (reversed, of course)?

It's tricky, the human thing. We are bound by our brains and bodies. Trusting our senses five, and trusting that our brains are working, and that all of our perceptions are valid, and that our thought processes aren't clouded, or deluded, or on some bat-shit crazy escapade.

How do we know we are sane, and not insane? Do we rely on other people to make that call?

Too hard for me to parse this a.m. Questions this morning, not answers. What's that philosophical maxim? "I think, therefore I am." Is that enough? I don't know. It's a start. It will have to do.

Too much thinking makes the baby go blind... ha!

Less than Bat-Shit Crazy...

It is a bit daunting to think that there are huge swaths of the American population that are bat-shit crazy. I mean, more batshit crazy than me. I mean, that's how it looks from my own private little Idaho.  

How do I know I'm not totally bat-shit crazy too?  I don't, really. I mean, I look to other, more sane, folks who seem to have their feet on the ground, their eyes on the prize, folks who are talking rationally, doing good works, being compassionate, loving and kind. They seem sane. So you sort of gravitate to them.

Of course, if rationality is just another mask we wear, some folks can wear the mask longer than others. But even rationality can lead you to the irrational ditch.  And what of "truths?" Some truths are just such hard medicine (see Oedipus), and who really wants to face the prospect of death, your own and of those you love? Not easy to just turn away and say "don't worry, be happy."  But that's our human conundrum in a nutshell.

Maybe, I can just lean to the light? 

Put me on the side of the clear light of reason and optimism, the rational, the calm, the clear-headed, those who believe in good works, in science, in math, in a better day. Yes, we are all gonna die, that's just nature, but in the meantime we are here to live. We must do our best with what we have... 

Is that crazy? Hmmm... maybe it's the good kind of crazy, and not that totally, irrational bat-shit crazy running thru the herd...

A Dreamy Sort with Gravity Boots...

Yes. No doubt, my head has been "in the clouds" (see previous post) most of my life. A dreamy sort. A happy-go-lucky kid. A bit of a lazy sod, often in my room, reading a book, strumming a guitar, conjuring up other worlds in my head, living in my "Own Private Idaho."  It's comfortable there. I can spend lots of time alone, without feeling lonely, at all. I think it's a strength. But, you know, I can't help it, I'm just "drawn that way." 

My challenge has been to keep my feet on the ground. To "stay in my body." To seize the day. To apply myself to tasks I don't want to apply myself to. To venture outside that comfortable zone in my head. 

I am very good at getting excited about something, and then obsessively pursuing it. I am not so good at doing things I don't want to do.

When I was much younger, I was a totally stubborn, recalcitrant, procrastinator. I did not like to be told what to do. I was a terrible student, I only liked the subjects I liked, I did not apply myself, did not put my "nose to the grindstone," did not want to do hard things. I only excelled at things I happened to love to do, like playing guitar and reading and writing.  

When I was younger I did not "play well with others." Later in life, especially in the theatrical and musical worlds, I have excelled at acting, playing and collaborating with others. 

I slowly learned to apply myself to everything I do. Even, and especially, to the simple mundane chores:

mopping the floor

picking up my socks

washing the dishes

taking out the garbage

walking the dog

applying myself to things I don't want to do.

I adopted a sort of Zen attitude.  Be one with the mop, be one with the doggie bag; always take one step, one step at a time. Take care in everything you do. Be alive, aware, awake at all times.

A great insight: Do the hard things first:

write that difficult letter

make that uncomfortable phone call

have that "come to Jesus" conversation

address that thorny emotional or psychological issue

Don't hesitate. Don't complain. Just do it. Now.

What's the line from the Tarot? "Walk the mystical path on practical feet."

Yes. That's it. Exactly.

The a.m soundtrack - Ry Cooder's "Paris, Texas - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack" (1984). Fabulous. Just received this one in the post yesterday. Mostly instrumental. Ghostly, meandering. Gorgeous slide guitar. Loose. Funky. Cool. A sound totally open and wide. With David Lindley and Jim Dickenson. The soundtrack to Wim Wenders great film. Screenplay written by Sam Shepard. Starring Harry Dean Stanton and Nastassja Kinski. It is amazing it took this long for me to buy this record. So good. I saw and loved the film when it was released in the 80's. What's funny, on one track, Harry Dean is reciting a monologue with Ry backing him up. It's a monologue that I learned and performed in a student film in the mid-90's. Freaky cool to hear Harry do it now. Secret words I memorized and have held close to my heart, all these many years. It's like revisiting an old forgotten dream. I am so connected to this record. It's in my bones. Embedded in my DNA. A story of a drifter. A story of dislocation, and escape, and an uncomprehending, stupefied, wonder. The soundtrack captures all that in the grooves. And yes, I can totally relate.

Animating Principles...

Sometimes events conspire, and you find yourself questioning the fundamental nature of life in the Universe. You know, even the Space/Time Continuum seems fungible, shaky, and suspect.

It's a funny way to think. It's a way of thinking that I frequently find myself trying on for size. It's not just a personal Existential Crisis (those are fairly frequent & familiar), but, you know, a pretty comprehensive, Universal Existential Crisis.

That's where I'm at this a.m. Thinking about animating principles that guide the Universe and everything in it.  You know, something started this whole thing, something happened and a Universe came into being, and then there is a long enfoldment, an unraveling, an expansion, whatever.

And then one day, you wake up, and ask: "How did I get here?" "What's happening?" "Where is this all going?" "How does it end?" "Why a duck?!"

Words that pop into my fevered brain:

Fate

Fortune

Luck

Accident

Probability

Evolution

Prophecy

Energy

Creation

Destruction

Love

Hate

Life

Death

These words are just little life-rafts. So yeah, all this is floating around in my head this a.m. No conclusions. I am armed with a great coffee brew and listening to the fabulous, magical, enlightening music of The Dirty Three.  What had to happen for me to be here in this moment, doing these things? What long chain of causality had to unfold? It's bit mind-boggling.

Navel-gazing & head-spinning. That will have to do for now. Wonder what today will bring?

Water: Good Role Model

Watching the ducks in the pond...

The little ones seem to follow & emulate the big ones.

It's the same with our little birdies at home. They all seem to watch each other, and pick up habits from each other. One of them (Little Edie our colorful little budgie), is an amazing mimic.  She has learned the calls and tweets and twitters, and squawks of our other birdies in the flock, and can do an inspiring impression of each of them. Edie is a "live wire," a shit-stirrer, unafraid of anything.  Hell, she will even stand up to the humans. Fearless.

The birds outside and inside remind me that we all need "role models." No doubt. There are beings in the animal kingdom that provide excellent examples. I have known some amazing dogs and cats and turtles too; little creatures who have shown great patience, loyalty, enthusiasm, joy, consistency, honor, and judgement.

What of humans? Other human beings? It all gets a bit trickier. We learn so much from each other; Parents, Teachers, Friends. But I think it's smart to resist putting human beings on any kind of pedestal. Human Beings are complicated, contradictory, hard to pin down. Maybe admirable in one realm, and not so admirable in another. I mean, it's hard to know. My favorite Humans are a bit like our very own Little Edie.

How about Lao Tzu ? Yes. An old wise man, now long dead, now maybe that's a role model you can count on? What does Lao Tzu recommend? Be like Water!

“Water is fluid, soft, and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft, and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is another paradox: what is soft is strong.” - Lao Tzu

Unsolicited Advice...

Advice.

Sometimes I give advice. I probably shouldn't. It's a tricky thing. You know, who am I to be giving advice to anyone? Still, I sometimes do. I have learned a thing or two wandering around on this little revolving ball of confusion and well, sometimes I can't help it.

Here's some unsolicited advice (10 things off the top of my head):

1. Get yourself a good pair of heavy-duty boots. The heavier the better. Gravity. Keeps you grounded. Gravity is your friend. A solid pair of boots keeps you from tripping, falling, twisting your ankle, etc.

2. Levis. They are essential. A good pair of Levis, blue or black. You can't go wrong.

3. Meditate. Take time to sit quietly. Even if it's a few minutes a day. Clear your head. Maybe try to visualize a scene or repeat a mantra. Breathe. Concentrate on deep, slow, refreshing breaths.  

4. Keep moving. Every day. Walk, bike, exercise, keep the blood flowing. 

5. Read. Books. Any kind. Any subject. Occupy your mind with other worlds, other people, subjects you might find interesting. Feed your head. Cultivate your imagination. Expand your horizons.

6. Find a "flow" activity. Do something that totally captivates you. This can be anything: knitting, playing a musical instrument, painting, writing, tap-dancing, plate-spinning, whatever. Find something you love to do, and do it.

7. Get a pet. Take care of something. A turtle, a rabbit, a cat, a dog, a bird. You will be rewarded by having a relationship with another species.

8. Eat a varied diet. Try lots of different kinds of foods. If you can, be a vegetarian. It's best for you and the planet. Remember, food is medicine. Probably the most important medicine of all. Be choosy. Eat organic. Avoid fast food, processed food, red meat. And don't forget to indulge in the "special spices." I personally am convinced that consuming lots of aloe vera juice, garlic, cayenne pepper & ginkgo biloba has made me healthier. Who knows?!

9. Music. Fill your life with laughter, love & music. Make it a choice. Don't refrain. Indulge.

10. Be kind, graceful, grateful, considerate, common-sensical, humble. Be open and willing to change your mind.  Take care, be safe, don't be too hard on your self. Choose happiness, optimism, think of better days ahead. Why not?!

The a.m. soundtrack - The Who's "Meaty Beaty Big and Bouncy"  (1971). A compilation album. Essential. Shimmering. Dazzling. So musically engaging and intelligent. Funny. Exhilarating. So, so good. 14 fabulous singles. Inventive. Catchy. A must-have record. Extraordinary.