Lines...

Disconnected narrative lines...

We are stardust, we are golden (hat-tip: singer-songwriter Joni Mitchell).

We are fleshy bags of particles (hat-tip: physicist Brian Greene).

We are beings made of flesh & bone.

We are more than our bodies.

We are radiant, fiery beings.

The carbon in our bones is the same carbon that is found in the stars.

We are star stuff. (hat-tip: cosmologist Carl Sagan)

We are imprisoned by our senses five (hat-tip: poet William Blake).

Space and time does not exist in the world of spirit.

We have evolved from monkeys. (hat-tip: scientist/biologist Charles Darwin)

We are connected to everything in the Universe. (see "super-string theory," hat-tip (again): physicist Brian Greene).

We are alone.

We are not alone.

Reality is a hard mother.

Imagination is a super-power.

We dream, we fly.

No one knows.

Everyone knows.

Everybody knows this is nowhere. (hat-tip: singer-songwriter Neil Young).

Right Here. Right Now.

Yes. We imagine a God, or Gods. Maybe makes things less messy in our explanations to ourselves. We imagine Angels and Devils because we are trying to understand the Light and Darkness that we encompass.  We try to explain our boldest acts of Love & Kindness and our most dastardly acts of Murder & Treachery.  We are Radiant Beings of Light & Darkness. Illuminated Beings. Residing in Heaven and Hell. Right here. Right now.

Illuminated World...

I remember the fire-flies. The lightening bugs.

A child in pastureland, converted to a little suburban enclave. Hissing lawns. Small homes, scattered around a cul de sac. Long summer nights. Deep, dark sky, illuminated by millions of stars. We'd play games on the lawn; tag, hide & seek, statues, (one touch and you were turned to stone),  on thick carpets of manicured green. A tamed heartland town.

The crickets and cicadas would  sing like broken, silver springs unwinding into the void. The darkness was like a black cloak surrounding us. We could barely see our hands in front of our faces. Except on the nights when the moon took center stage. A big, cold, spotlight, streaming down lighting us up, and illuminating the tips of the stretching grass.

The lightening bugs would appear. Little sparks in the air. Bugs. We'd catch them in a jar. A jar of fiery beings. We wanted to know what they were. They were bugs, but at the same time they were little luminous, sources of fire. Sparking. Flaming. Lighting up the darkness. We'd empty the jars back into the air. 

The lightening bugs flamed away in front of us. For a short time. Then disappeared back into the great looming darkness. Little beings of light and darkness. Just like us.

Latest Go-To Phrase...

It dawned on me that lately, and surprisingly, that my go-to phrase has been: "I don't know." 

It came to me organically. I am a person who normally thinks they kind of know what's going on.  I am no genius, but I am a reader, I am curious, I like to think that I understand what is happening in the world around me. When I was a wee lad I was kind of a smart aleck, you know, a young, whippersnapper who believed he knew a thing or two, and well, I thought I knew more than I really knew.

I used to have opinions about everything, thinking that made me "smart." But, you know,  I realize that is a foolish road. That is the Idiot's Way. You don't have to pop-off about everything under the sun. You don't have to have an opinion about everything, and really, the smart thing is silence. Sometimes being smart means you keep your head down and your mouth shut!

As I age. I have come to the realization that my knowledge, and experience is pretty limited, circumscribed, arbitrary, random, unorganized. I have my own life experience, but not sure it gives me much insight in the world that is unfolding around me. I have earned a new humility about my knowledge and experience.

So...

When the questions come up, lately, I have been resorting to my fall-back phrase...

What's Happening? I don't know.

How does it all turn out? I don't know.

Where are we going? I don't know.

Is it a happy ending? I don't know.

Are we gonna make it? I don't know.

Simplify!

What is the lesson? Is there always a lesson? (see previous post).

Simplify! 

Think less

Read more

Talk less

Walk more

Eat less

Hydrate more

Remember

usually

less is more

Less...

 

words

clutter

things

Ornery Gremlins...

Don't forget the "fuck-ups." No matter how you prepare, no matter your intention, your focus, your determination, little "fuck-ups" like ornery gremlins can crawl out of any corner and throw little stones in your path. You will stumble, you will waver, you will sweat, you will curse, you will be befuddled, thrown off and frustrated. That is just the way. BUT. You must carry on. Damn the torpedos. Yes. You must.

You Own It!

Yes. Maybe the best advice one person can give to another: "You Own it."

It is your life to live. You can imagine & dream & do. Of course, part of owning it is dealing with limits, consequences, coming to the understanding that there is much that in your life that you cannot control.

That is a major part of the owning it. Owning up to the limits of life.

But then again, how you deal with reality, how you react to events and other Human Beings really is up to you.

This is empowering, validating, and liberating. Truly. YOU OWN IT!

It Works...

My long-time companion and I went to "psychic school," many years ago. We both even got diplomas. It is not a weird as it sounds. And "psychic;" is a charged word and a bit of a misnomer. We didn't learn how to predict the future, this was no "crystal ball" thing. We learned how to meditate, how to do creative visualizations in our heads, how ground ourselves, run energy, find the calm center inside, and to create and destroy pictures in our heads, and by doing that freeing up energy, freeing up psychic energy.

It really turns out to be quite-useful. To visualize, to create, to release energy. We don't need to believe in it, to use it, we just do it. 

It was a life-changing course, probably some of the most important work we've ever done in our lives. We still use our tools. Pretty much every day.

We had a recent knotty problem, and well, we cast about a bit, forgetting some of the tools we have in our kit-bag. My companion reached out and reconnected with one of our teachers and the session "blew some pictures" and freed up the energy around them. She shared the information with me and it totally opened both of us up, and the knotty problem basically exploded & vanished into thin air.

So yeah, it's an energy thing. Really. Life is an energy thing. We are beings of energy. It helps to be able to channel, to play with, and to release energy using some simple, easy to employ tools. Its sounds a bit trippy & hippy-dippy, and maybe it is, sort of, but you know, not really, and well, you know what!? It works! Really!

"Energy is Eternal Delight!" - Wm Blake

First Lines of an Epic Novel Never Written...

They lived like they had all the time in the world. 

Guess what?

Big Man Syndrome.

Toots and the Maytals had that great song: "Big Monkey Man."

We all live with the "Big Man Syndrome." You know Big Man, with Big Ideas, and Big Ego rises to a position of Power & Influence. And how does he use his Power & Influence?

It is all so damn predictable. 

Big Man likes to flaunt his Power. He likes to wield his Power & Influence against his minions and the "little people." It seems the Powerful Big Man only feels Powerful when he is using it against those who work for him, or who elected him, or those who admire him.

Big Man ends up doing bad shit. Why? Because he can.

It's the same old sad story. Power Corrupts. Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely.  And really it cuts across the Human Spectrum. The Big Man can be any race or creed. And, sometimes the Big Man can be a Woman.

Wouldn't it be nice to find out that a successful, powerful, influential Human Being acted with kindness, grace, humility & good cheer? That is a story that just isn't told very often. It is all too rare. 

Fuck, people. We can do so much better...

I Blame the Bat-Shit Crazy Ones...

Still gobsmacked. Still scratching our heads. Still wondering what's up with our fellow Human Beings. The news is all about the unvaccinated getting seriously ill and ending up in the ICU, clinging to life, or in many cases, finally succumbing to Covid-19. 

Preventable, totally unnecessary deaths. Do Human Beings really think they can disregard Nature, Biology, Ecology? Science? Common Sense?

Over here in our Progressive Blue Bubble, we wonder what's wrong with people? Who wouldn't choose to live? To protect themselves? To get vaxxed? To be healthy? 

It is the same question we have about the Climate Change Deniers. Our Ecosystem is now in the ICU. See the evidence everywhere around the Globe. Major, cataclysmic change is occurring now. Human Beings have put the Ecosystem on a trajectory for apocalyptic, planet-wide failure.

Yikes. What the Fuck is wrong with us? 

Reminds me of the time I was at hospital when I asked a Doctor what was going on with a patient. The bone-chilling, answer: "A Cascade of Failure." Once the cascade starts, a body, an ecosystem, collapses, and there is nothing to prevent the collapse.

Too late. Yes. Unnecessary. Avoidable. Who do I blame? The Bat-Shit Crazy Ones. It's seems the Bat-Shit Crazy Ones and their tin-pot authoritarian leaders make up nearly 40% of the Human Population. A distinct minority. But a loud, stupid & powerful minority. See MAGA-land.

The rest of us turn our lonely eyes to the Non-Bat-Shit Crazy Ones... and hope, beyond hope, that maybe, it's not too late. "Can you please save us?!" But of course, for many of us, it really is so stupidly too late... 

Fuck.

Signs of Major B.S.

"I am a self-made man."

Ha, ha, ha...

Turn your B.S. Detector on.  B.S. is just about to swamp you.

Maybe ask:

Who's sperm and who's egg made you? Who changed your diapers and shoved food in your blabbering maw? Did you build your own school? Invent your own language? Invent your own currency? 

What a load of shite.  Anyone who tells you they are "self-made," make sure you run for the hills. Total big-time, major league B.S. And a sign of complete, pig-headed, cluelessness.

Side note: Be wary of anyone who starts a conversation with this line: "I know I am a genius, but..."

I mean, Yikes & Holy, Moly...

Relentless Nature of Our Existence...

The relentless nature of our existence. It is one thing after another. And "things" just keep coming, no matter what. Our task it to experience it all without falling under the weight of it. We need to be permeable, flexible, fungible, agile. No clinging, no grasping, no holding on.  Let it all come down. Avoid the debris. Dance. Play. Spin. Sit quietly in silence. Notice what comes up, what goes down. As above, so below. There is a big Universe of things out there, phenomena, that surrounds us. We must encompass it all. Take it in and let it out. Breathe the Universe. The Good, the Bad, the Ugly. Breathe in, Breathe out.

Buying Shit...

I am not a Marxist, but you know, I did read the Communist Manifesto in college, and it's got some good points. And no doubt, Karl Marx was a learned man, and when he analyzed and recounted the history of Capitalism,  it is fair to say he really did know what he was talking about. He did his work quite well.

And really, bottom line, there are the "haves" and the "have nots" and it is an eternal battle across time; who gets what, and when? And how do we reconcile living in a world where some have too much, and some have too little?

The redistribution of wealth seems like a capital idea. I think it's pretty clear food, clothing, shelter, healthcare and education should be free for all. It would make us a more just and righteous species. No doubt.

But you know, History is one thing, the Economy is another thing, but when it comes to Human Beings and how they act, it's all a twisted Psychology, a murky, quirky mystery-making subject. The mystery doesn't get us off the hook, it actually hooks us deeper and more irrevocably.

This is all a long-winded way of getting to my point. I was feeling a bit down a few days ago, and I decided to buy some shit. It's one of the things we all do here in our Capitalistic Paradise. We are all expert consumers here in USA. 

I am not the world's greatest shopper. I am only comfortable in bookstores and record stores. I am lost and uncomfortable pretty much everywhere else. "All that glitters is not gold."

I was feeling a bit blue. So, I did what any plucky American would do. I bought some shit. Online. Pandemic Online Shopping. 

What did I buy? I think my choices tell a little story...

I bought another Roberto Bolano novel named "Amulet."

I bought another Grateful Dead Live Album, "The Grateful Dead Live at Red Rocks."

And I bought a Dolly Parton t-shirt. Charcoal with a portrait of a young Dolly on the face of it. Thinking this will come handy when we play r&r shows.

And you know, just placing those orders, I immediately felt a bit better. That is the magic of the market. Buying shit.  It is kind of a kick. I'm thinking even K. Marx would get it.

Chalk it Up to Bad Karma...

Thoughts of dissolution, chaos, disorder, things unraveling, things falling apart, the catastrophe looming...

I partly blame, or credit, Roberto Bolano. I am deep into my Bolano obsession. It started during the lockdown and continues to this day. I started by tackling his magnum opus, "2666," then went on to "The Savage Detectives," then "One Night in Chile," and at the moment I am reading the short story collection "Last Evenings on Earth."

Absolutely the best, you know, Bolano knocks me out. Always on the verge of something momentous on every page. A fierce intelligence, a shimmering clarity. I just feel lucky to have discovered him. Hat-tip to Patti Smith and her book "M Train."

Yesterday was an odd day. 

No major catastrophes, but lots of little fuck-ups. My companion chalked it all up to "bad karma." Making fun of stupid people. This led us both to contemplate how we could do better, how to renew ourselves, how to live with clarity & heart. What are our intentions? What is our vision? What's up, Doc?!?

Yesterday was all...

snarling, frothing

out of control

ragged beasts

bee stings

blood &

throbbing pain

near crashes

scraped knuckles

obligations

sweat

dirt

hair

& snot

Time to Get Real...

"Get Real."

Yes. 

Think of  Covid-19 and it's deadly variants. It is just "nature" doing what nature does. Evolving, mutating, struggling to reproduce, and to live, doing all it can to multiply itself into every available host.

Think of the Climate Catastrophe. It is just an ecosystem under stress, evolving, mutating, creating and destroying entities within the system. It is like the ecosystem has a fever, and we, the Tricky Monkeys are the disease-causing irritants who must be defeated.

We should all take note. Reality & Nature are big, complex, things, much bigger than us. "Smarter" than us. It doesn't really care about our silly Ideologies, or Politics, or our selfishness, stupidities, or our petty Human concerns.

If we choose to ignore Reality, we can expect a great reckoning.  I would like to rally the Tricky Monkeys this a.m. 

Get Real. Get Smart. 

Otherwise our Tricky Days of being of being the trickiest of tricky species are certainly numbered and dwindling. Hotter times ahead too!

A Dead End...

This crazy-ass anti-VAXX madness hit close to home for us. 

One of the musicians in our band refused to get vaxxed. The other 6 of us were so happy and feeling so lucky to get fully vaxxed,  and do our best to stay healthy. So, our UNVAXXED band member is now an EX-Band Member. It was a painful decision. The guy is an amazingly gifted player, a musician with an intuitive genius for his instrument. Sort of a Savant as a musician, but an Idiot as a Human Being. An Idiot Savant. So, yeah, the Idiot side of him swamped the Savant side. And he is now out of the band.

It was a hard decision, but an easy one too. His behavior is just not acceptable. Stupid and selfish. It is another reminder of the complicated nature of being a Human Being: Magnificent in one aspect and Wretched in another. 

Finding a replacement has not been easy, but we feel we have a special band, an amazing group of musicians, all dedicated to a creative mission. Not everyone is welcome in our sacred circle. We have no patience or time to spend with stupidity. It's just the plain truth.  Covid-19 is nothing to be casual about. The only sensible thing to do is to get the vaccine and to mask up. The Delta Variant is now loose in the population and the Unvaccinated are a threat to us all. We must do all we can to protect ourselves and others. The alternative is a DEAD END!

WTF People!

Ocean of Emotion...

Riding a rollercoaster. Or, no, maybe more organically, less mechanically, riding a tiger, or a wild horse. There are the ups and downs, the hills, the valleys, the dips, and risings. I have been on an emotional ride. Or no, maybe it is not a ride, I am not riding, I am engulfed, overwhelmed, inundated, infused, suffused; I embody a series of overstuffed and complicated emotions. Maybe more accurate to say that I am a turbulent, raging ocean, churning and burning.

The range of emotion goes from total ecstasy, to complete despair, and pretty much everything in between. And these emotions come in waves. And they are changeable. Each wave is distinct. Some of the waves are contradictory. There is no continuity. Each wave of emotion is its own thing. Unrelated to the one before it.

Most of these emotions are sparked by outside forces. So, I guess, it is a matter of being open to the world. Maybe I am too open to the outside forces in the world? Being open is a blessing and a curse. 

Being Human. It's complicated. It is hard to understand the world, and it is hard to understand ourselves. Lots of misunderstanding all around. And there is also deep uncomprehending on all fronts. So, anyway, I am an ocean of emotion. Probably for good reason, even if I don't really know many, or any, of the reasons.

Playing the Dichotomy

Playing with the exhaustion/depletion and energy/renewal dichotomy. A few days I found myself on the ropes. Bone-tired, dog-tired, just plain tired. Hot & bothered too. There is a temperature/humidity combo that is pretty deadly. Saps your energy. Brings your blood to a boil, makes your head spin off its axis.

Too hot to sleep comfortably too. 

So pretty quickly you get that "under siege" feeling. The barbarian hordes are at the palace gates and they are ramming thru your golden doors. It takes a lot of energy to get your space. You struggle to find your space with the temps, with the tiredness, with the energy-drain, with the raging hordes. Getting your space takes energy too, and energy, oh sweet energy is in short supply.

Luckily, the heat & humidity breaks, cooler temps prevail. A nice northerly breeze wafts across the land. Suddenly the day caresses. Sleeping is better. A long, luxurious sleep. The pillows feel like clouds. The bed is a magic carpet. You sleep, you dream, you wake up refreshed. Amazing.

I'm thinking good meals and lots of cold drinks helped right the ship too. Always trying to find that perfect balance. We are all chemistry sets, looking for the right formula. This a.m. everything seems perfect and in its right place. 

Wm. Blake (again): Energy is Eternal Delight!

Radically Hopeful

Difficult times call for difficult measures. 

It does seem like everything is unraveling. Of course, that can't really be true, the Universe contains everything, there does seem to be a general unraveling, at least that's how it seems if you listen to the news, or talk to your friends, but there is also renewal & growth all around us. There is the human realm, but there is also the cosmic level. The Universe works in mysterious ways.

Of course, there is always Death & Birth.  That just in-built into everything.

There is the general churn & burn. The hurly-burly. The never-ending  swirl. We are just in the middle of it. Experiencing all of it. I heard a phrase this morning, and, well, I suppose it will be my mantra later this morning when I meditate: Radical Hope.

Sure. I like it,  I choose to be radically hopeful. Damn the torpedos.  Why not, we are here now. Just be here now. And try it. Be Radically Hopeful...