Fallen Off the Mark...

Folk #1: Early thoughts this a.m. Maybe we are well & truly doomed? UFC fight on the White House Lawn? So epically stupid, disgraceful. Hard to be  totally outraged though, my outrage meter is broken, it's all too mind-numbingly idiotic to get twisted over. Fuck that shit. And what brought on this sordid spectacle? Laziness. Stupidity. Racism. Selfishness. The constant need to lie to others & to ourselves. Catering to the crazy idiots amongst us. Seems everyone is out to make an easy buck. Folks are willing to sell their souls and fuck over their fellow Human Beings for a chance at the silver cup, the golden goblet, the big score. It's is easy see the betrayal, the disgusting display of needing, wanting, grasping that is trumping all that is right & good. Yikes. I feel like a character from another story, another time, another place completely.  I never considered myself a moral paragon. But I recoil in horror at the state of the state. What the fuck happened?! How did we all go so wrong? I know there are others like me, folks who still value truth, grace, intelligence, kindness, love, honor, discipline, hard work, courage, a fiery commitment to a better world. I saw video of folks celebrating the New York Knicks finals win in New York City, and I am reminded of the beauty of a multicultural, radically, racially diverse community of souls living side by side in harmony. Still living the promise of a melting pot America. So yeah, my sense of doom is bounded by my sense of possibility, resiliance, imagination & creativity. Fuck it. We can reclaim the dream. I still believe. But it helps to also see clearly just how far we have fallen off the mark. And yes, we have really, really fallen...

Move on from the Clown...

 

Folk #1: Back to politics. And the wretched state of the nation. It is funny. The more this man wants the world to fall at his feet in abject adoration, & fear, the more he is seen for who & what he is; a Toxic Clown, embodying corruption, cruelty, bullying, lawlessness, gutter racism, incompetence, & prodigious idiocy. Finally, you just can't take this guy seriously. He is a damaged, unwell, Clown. He is not as svelte as the cartoon above depicts him. He actually is quite bulbous, over-stuffed and hideous in appearance. A super-ugly, Toxic Clown & not funny, not powerful, not awe-inspiring, instead, pathetic & deeply repulsive. Much of the time we can tune him out. But he is a plague, a cloud of toxicity hovering over the USA and the World. Yikes. All the worst qualities of a human being are alive in this man's aura. You do not want to be this guy. You do not want to listen to this guy. Every word he utters is most often a bald-faced, easily disproved lie, and listening to him speak actually makes one stupider, one word at a time. We can do so much better. We have to move on from this Clown. This is no time for Clowns. We human beings need to get to work. The good work. A better nation, a better Union, listen to our better Angels...

Chasing Soundwaves...

Folk #1: We are working on a long-gestating musical project. I play guitar and write songs for a very loud, anarchic, garage-rock band. The lead singer, my bandmate & musical collaborator, is also a fabulous lyricist. His lyrics are always edgy, funny, insightful.  I come up with chords & riffs to complement and propel these lyrics into the atmosphere. The bands consists of the two us, plus another guitar player, a bass player & a drummer. Excellent, full-on, rocking musicians all. The five of us, have melded over time into quite the powerful unit. We finally, after many, many years of playing small clubs and bars are recording an album. We have ten original songs that we laid down in incredibly well designed & appointed recording studio. We are in the process of mixing now. You would think it all be quite straight-forward, but, funny, this process is always a bit of a battling windmills, Quixotic-quest; a certain endlessly-expanding, deeply disorienting, rabbit hole. Chasing soundwaves. There is a little bit of science, and a little bit of art in the doing. Trying to nail down something that can't be nailed down. Soundwaves are complex & interesting. You'd think it would be easy & logical, putting all elements in their right place, but turns out, there is no "right place," instead, the process is sort of mysterious & spooky. We all have various devices & systems to listen to mixes, and there is no consistency across stereo systems, or headphones. There are dramatic differences. Each device has it's own unique tuning which emphasizes different elements. All of our choices, preferences, and judgements alter the end result. Everyone in our band has listened to various stages of mixes, and we all hear different things. It's another case of the more you pay attention, the more you focus on something, the more close-listening one does, the more it all gets murky, hazy, uncertain & fungible. Finally, you just have to make solid choices, drawing a line in the sand, throwing down a marker. Emphasisng one element can crowd other elements. Certain instruments & soundwaves emerge & some disappear. So strange. There is a lesson there. No doubt. Finally, you just have to decide, to make the call. Deciding on one bold choice after another, out of ever-expanding, uncounted number of choices. Ultimately, you have to say, damn the torpedoes, this is it! Finishing the project is just a matter of  determination & will. The road taken, and all the many roads not taken. You know what you have, and you know what you have left behind. It ain't easy, but it's very much the life we live. It's all in the mix.

Cheering on the Collapse...

Folk #1: Yes. This is the era of Dumb & Dumber. Billionaires becoming Trillionaires, and all the little folks applaud, burn with envy, pile their cash into the pockets of the super-wealthy, and dream of becoming super-wealthy too. Seems everyone wants in the easy way: The Grift, The Con, The Ponzi Scheme. It's ugly, soul-killing, yes, & very fucking dumb. It takes a village to care for, pamper, and support a Billionaire. There are no self-made wealthy people. Not in this Universe. What happens when all this market madness, wealth feeding off wealth, crashes & burns? Of course, the little folks will get hammered, the Billionaires & Trillionaires will probably be bailed out somehow. I mean, fuck, let's hope not. Maybe, a New Dawn, a New Era, AOC's "Every Billionaire is policy Failure," is a market crash away? Is it poor form, in bad taste, to cheer on Collapse? Maybe, but, Fuck These People.

The Smart Ones, And the Cliches...

Folk #1: I log onto the internet and surf around to see what all the "smart" people are thinking & saying about current events this morning. Funny. Not sure I can actually locate any smart people. It occurs to me that the people don't seem as smart as they think they are. Lots of cynicism, sarcasm, and unknowingness floating in the ether. Maybe events are just too stupid, weird, contradictory, murky, spooky, strange for the people to digest? Lots of madness & idiocy all around. Events are just bouncing off our heads, colliding around like a furious little hurricanes? Lots of hurly-burly, "a tale told by an idiot." There is the floatsum & the jetsum. Yikes. I fall back on my favorite go-to cliches: when the going gets tough, the tough get going, no one ever promised you a rose garden, damn the torpedoes, love they neighbor as thyself, run to daylight, one day at time, fake it to make it, may the force be with you, you are the eyes of the world, today is the first day of the rest of your life, what's it all about Alfie, I stick my neck out for nobody, don't tread on me, someone kills your partner, you got to do something about it,  different strokes for different folks, I know nothing, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, all that glitters is not gold, it's hard out here for a pimp, you take what you need and you leave the rest, take it easy,  but take it, keep on truckin', what the fuck?!, we truly are the tricky monkeys, people just ain't no good, we have met the enemy and it is us, you don't know what you don't know, life it's complicated, everything happens for a reason, even if you don't know the reason, oh yeah, the Universe doesn't need reasons, there ain't no why, it just is, and of course, it is what it is... 

Mr. Coffee Wins the Day...

Folk #1: You'd think I'd be a coffee elitist? Maybe I am a coffee populist? Hmmm... I am all about starting with great coffee beans. I have superb bean grinder to assure I get the perfect grind. I have a very nice French Press, and when I am far from home, and staying at place without a coffee-maker, I bring my French Press, which is made of metal, not glass, so my inadvertant clumsiness doesn't shatter it into a million pieces. I have learned how to make the perfect French Press cup of coffee. Let me tell you, in the early morning hours, well before the sun rises, making the perfect cup with sleepy, bleary eyes, without having a cup of coffee first, is quite labor-intensive, and a bit of a bleary challenge. Testing one's patience in the process. But, when all is said and done, the results are quite good. And maybe that meticulous, step by step laboring leads to a certain satisfaction? "I made that well brewed cup with my own diligent effort." Perfect? Well, pretty damn close. Presently I am at a place with a coffee-maker, branded Mr. Coffee, you know, the one originally endorsed by Yankees legend Joe DiMaggio. Guess what? Mr. Coffee wins the day over here. I grind my beans, pour in the water, click the on button, and I get a nicely brewed pot of coffee. Perfect? Well, pretty damn close. I didn't do shit. A grind, a pour, a click, and magically, a hell of good pot of coffee. While staying over here, I have left my French Press untouched in my backpack. Yes. Really. This coffee elitist chooses Mr. Coffee. I mean, it's not really just the labor-saving, the result is a truly an excellent brew. I must say, I was surprised. Pleasantly. Yes. Dare I say it? Mr. Coffee rules! Who knew?!

Happiness by Degrees...

Folk #1: Happiness lies in the little, unexpected things. It's a thin reed, indeed, that seperates happiness from gloominess, euphoria from miserableness. A good night's sleep, a well-brewed cup of coffee, excellent music on a classic old stereo system, sound waves dancing around in big old lakefront mansion. A summer morning in the heartland, not cold, not hot, just about perfect stew of temp & humidity. Everything comes down to degrees, proportion, doses. Sure, I have an agenda of things to do for the day, it's good have a job, but not too many appointments or too much too-ing & fro-ing. There will be time for conversation, laughter, love, a good meal. There are a few big dreams & ideas dancing around in my head, that just comes naturally to me, but I can tame them, still the churn & madness, I don't need to play the game of expectations; no need for the needing, wanting, grasping. It's best to let the elements of the day come to me unbidden. Maybe there will be unexpected surprises along the way?

Not the Life of the Party...

Folk #1: Let's just say, you are astonished, gobsmacked, overwhelmed, struck deaf & dumb. Sure. You can still type into the void, it's a compulsion, maybe an addiction, a hard to break habit, but any semblence of forming and articulating thoughts & sentences comes in fleeting dribs & drabs, and only haltingly. For sure, at the moment, you are not the life of the party.

Turns Out, It was an Extraordinary Day...

Folk #1: Reading the previous post, you might think my partner and I are angst-filled,  Jean Paul Satre-style doomsters. Ha. Nothing could be further from the truth. I mean, I suppose, if we put our minds to it, we can go that way,  and certainly in my younger days, I could put on a pretty good existentially, angst-filled party, but really, we are for the most part, happy, joyous, creative humans.  Bounded by trauma & tragedy just like everyone else. Yesterday we spent most of the day together, riding our bikes in the neighborhood, enjoying a great meal, cracking each other up, there is something uniquely-fulfilling about two humans who have known and lived together for decades, a deep understanding, a secret communication, it is one the best things about being a human: a long-term, uncompromising relationship & friendship. Navigating the hills & valleys together. Mid-afternoon, we went to a Jazz Master Class Workshop, at a local saxophone shop in our with neighborhood, featuring the incredible Chilean Saxophonist, Mellisa Aldana. An amazing, beautiful, creative, musical soul. She started playing saxophone when she was six years old. 37 years old now, no doubt, she one of the finest sax players in the world. Melissa played for nearly an hour with her trio, sax, drums, bass. It was overwhelming just to watch how she totally melds & communes with her instrument, and plays off & silently & telepathically communicates with her fellow musicians. She uses her whole body when she plays. Rising up and dipping down on the high & low notes. A beautiful, musical dance. It was stunning, inspiring, amazing. She then took a break and let the audience members ask questions. I asked her if she had a "spiritual practice," she replied, "Yes. Of course. Music."  She said she plays from her "root Chakra," and well, yes,  there is no doubt she puts herself totally into the music. A spiritual practice? Yes. Indeed. That is something my partner & I believe in too, that our music-making, the process & discipline, the creating, embodying and playing, is a spiritual practice. At the end of the session Melissa showed us her method, how she practiced her art. She does meticulous transcriptions of her favorite saxophone heroes, Wayne Shorter, Freddie Hubbard, Michael Brecker, John Coltrane & Sonny Rollins, and many more; and she channels their notes, their phrasing, their timing, their spirits, their souls. She played along with some of her favorite songs on her phone. She played along note for note, but not just playing the notes, she totally absorbed & embodied the spirit, the soul of the music and the music-makers. She actually, changed, and morphed into another musical spirit while she played. She became a musical chameleon, a shape-shifter of the vibe. It was a knockout performance. What to say? Totally fabulous & inspring. Afterwards we bought one of her and albums and thanked her for the session. She was so kind, so open,  & beautiful, with an aura of simple grace, presence, and humility. An extraordinary human being. Melissa renewed our faith in the human project. We finished the day chilling, and buzzing, from this incredible display of beauty and magnificence. Yes. It was good day. A very, very good day. Indeed.

Ridiculous & Horrifying...

Folk #1: Yes. It's true. The present predicament of our on-going, always-expanding present, has plunged my partner & I into long bouts of soul-searching. All of this un-hinged behavior, joyous barbarity & over-amped corruption shamelessly displayed by our fellow Humans is so off-putting, disconcerting, worrisome, and alien. We are experiencing Vertigo, and Ego Death. Sure, day to day, we do exist on solid ground, we walk the streets, sidewalks & paths, making our daily rounds, but at the same time everything seems off-kilter, broken, and strange. We are spinning, lost, disconnected. I suppose we are just grappling with Reality, and it seems that Reality is in deep conflict with pretty much everything we ever thought we knew. So yeah, a reckoning, a recalibration, a yearning to reset to a new understanding. But the onslaught of events, riduclous & horrifying, is so powerful, we are washed away in waves of deep uncertainty. It's pretty weird. Cast adrift from any semblance of truth, honor, grace, love. Even though we know those are the values we must cling to, & cherish.

The Surrender Tour...

Folk #1: Still on my Surrender Tour (see previous two posts). Giving up. Giving in. Letting go. Seems to be the latest grand theme. It has opened up new vistas inside my being. Time seems to be expanding. Taking things as they come. Trying my best to meet the day moment to moment. Back to simplicity, clarity, and gravity. Sure, I have a worried mind, but that just comes baked in. Being Human isn't really all that easy. We are all quite complicated. A well-examined Life? Slogging through & sorting through the hard stuff: finding those things worth keeping, and discarding the rest. Leaving all that noise, hurly-burly, & useless baggage behind.

Surrendering: To the Moment, the Day, the Universe...

Folk #1: Funny. Yesterday I was still clicked into the moment (see previous post). Hard to explain, but two days ago, I suddenly had an overall reset: heart, head & spirit, and I felt totally in sync with the Universe. Sounds like a major thing, but it was just a tiny moment, a micro-cosmic tilt, & just like that, everything felt perfect & in it's right place. Yesterday, on the lakefront,  my partner & I took a break, had a little "sit-down," relaxing in the park, in the sunshine, kicking back, enjoying a beautiful day. She mentioned that I seemed different, somehow changed in the last day or two. I was truly surprised she had noticed anything at all. She said to me: "I see that you have surrendered." Ha. So very interesting & funny. I took that in, thought for a moment & replied: "Yes, I suppose it's true, I didn't even realize it. I have surrendered; to the moment, to the day, to the Universe. It's wild, kind of like a weight lifted off my shoulders." It was kind of amazing that she perceived something intuitively, something I wasn't even totally conscious of, & wasn't sure about. She verbalized something that was just a dim shadow on the horizon of my consciousness. I must say, it was gratifying to be seen so clearly. I didn't realize I was so transparent. Maybe that's one of the things we need other people for? To be seen, and to & point out things that we miss? Maybe it sometimes takes someone else to let you know what's what?

Suddenly In-Sync...

Folk #1: Yes. Out on the path yesterday I felt the world go tilt. Really. A slight tinge of vertigo tapped me on the shoulder. It was a paradise-blue day out on the path. I was feeling quite euphoric. Everything in it's right place. Then the tilt. I paused, righted myself, and felt my head, heart & spirit reset. Suddenly I was locked in, in-sync, with the present reality of the day. I experienced the moment to moment to the max. It was quite something. This morning that in-sync feeling is still with me. Maybe this is part of my renew, recharge, refresh, and reset agenda? Who knows?!

Where Are We At?

 

Folk #1: The word that comes to mind this morning: "Unsustainable"

The War, the Economy, the AI Spend, the Politics, the Social Media Madness, the Algorithm, the Market, the Environment, the Grift, the Con, the Facism,  the Cruelty & Bullying, the Racism, the Fury & Idiocy, the Bad Faith & Bad Actions of My Fellow Human Beings. Good Lord. Yikes. Yes. Over the freaking cliff...

Yes. He is Mentally Ill: The Plain Truth...

Folk #1: Yes. Paul Krugman's short video yesterday says it all. "Learning from a Mentally Ill President." It is so refreshing to hear and to read THE TRUTH. Funny. Clear-seeing, clear-speaking, clear-writing. It is quite rare nowadays. We are bombarded with noise, disinformation, outright lies & falsehoods. When confronted with an obvious Truth, laid out simply and concisely, it's quite satisfying. Almost breath-taking. Unfortunatley, I do think many folks just tune it all out, or get totally numb, & dumb to all the noise. Clearly, we are in the clucthes of a very Mentally Ill human being. He is deteriorating before our eyes. He is being propped up and weaponized by the worst grifters amongst us. It's all pretty disgusting. The news media, and the elites just can't admit the Truth. We all suffer. This can't last, right?!!!

Dems Getting It...

 

Folk#1: The Democrats are starting to get the hang of it. Resistance to the Epstein Class?! Call them out at each & every turn. Stand tall. Demand Truth, Justice, and a Renewed American Way. Trump & his Best Buddy, Jeffery Epstein? We still haven't gotten to the nitty-gritty, the full extent of the Truth. Putting these Criminals on our $$$?! Ha. That is a freaking hilarious idea...

Sometimes It is Quite Simple...

Folk #1: You are sometimes forced to make choices. Some choices may come easy. Elementary, obvious shite. Some are much more difficult. Sometimes it seems that one is confronted with no good choices, you are left with gnarly, sticky, very bad realities & alternatives to choose from. What to do then? How do you navigate that shite?! Funny. You think of yourself as a very empathetic, caring human being, but sometimes you are left with the taste of ashes in your mouth. All you can come up with in response to the latest fucked up thing, is to choose a seemingly callous, exuberantly-righteous response: Fuck these people! 

Even the Wealthy, Economic Winners I Know are Very, Very Displeased...

Folk #1: There was a time I thought maybe I was a bit radical. Unhappy. Gnarly. Contradictory. I read Jean Paul Satre, Hunter S. Thompson, Jean Genet, Charles Bukowski. I felt like a Stranger in a Strange Land. Alienated. On the margins. I could argue with a ham sandwich. Just for entertainment. I'm not so much like that anymore. Pretty happy & comfortable in my skin. I can still dissect a sentence or an idea, try on different sides & interpretations; that's just my way. Long time American here. Born in Chicago, grew up in the lower-middle-class suburbs, families making it, not so much banking it. I come from a long line of working stiffs, Democrats, all. Old school Democrats. FDR was considered a Saint in my family line. Anyway, navigating the neighborhood I live in now, much more affluent, definitely tilted to the upper, upper middle classes, I find that folks who I think might be much more conservative than I; retired corporate lawyers, ex-Fed bankers, wealthy freelancers & construction workers, board members of upper echelon organizations, are all up in arms. I think of these folks as the ones who helped make the country, the successfully affluent country that we all have grown up in. They have kids & grand-kids. They are radicalized. Very, very unhappy, gnarly, argumentative. They hate what is happening to the USA under Trump. Even if they got a fucking tax cut. Funny. I take my position, and well, they go me one or two times better. I actually think this is a good sign. Folks who basically won the game; the economic winners of America are very displeased with this wanna-be-Fascist. They hate his Bullying and Corruption. They hate Trump with a burning passion. These usually mild-mannered folks easily resort to beautifully descriptive swear words. I mean, fuck, I'm impressed. Sure, we are experiencing extremely bad times right now, but, the folk are not happy. I do think the backlash will be fucking enormous. Things will not end well for Trump. Maybe we are on the cusp of a new era? First there will have to be a reckoning. Trump has not changed the character of the Folk. Sure, he has his crazy cult, but they are greatly outnumbered. You can't put the toothpaste of the American Melting Pot back in the tube. We are too gloriously diverse. Sure right now, we are stuck in the muck & mire of the shite, but, I am pretty damn confident that this will not last.  A new way, and a new day is on the menu, no doubt.

Discipline Vs Rot...

Folk #1: Yes. But "moral discipline," (see previous post), is in a death-match with "moral rot." We live in the clutches of the Epstein Class. These over-amped rich fucks who no longer care whether they are being seen in public, lording it over the rest of us, instead, actually flaunting and reveling in their own excess before our hungry, needy eyes. America has actually elevated a con-man & criminal, a corrupt to the core individual, to the highest office in the land, and that audaciously counter-productive, self-sabotaging act, has filtered down thru the culture, and has had major consequences for every city, town & village in the land.  You know the moral rot is like a nasty virus, a ever-spooling contagion, passing on from one person to another. And, of course, the corruption flows from our shores, & has spilled over into other lands. Corruption is now the name of the game, it is America's great product & export. What happens when folks think the only way to get ahead is to lie, cheat & steal, and to beat up on our fellow humans? What happens when we all come to the conclusion that our society is a totally corrupt & rigged game? Maybe the world goes tilt? Maybe the only hope is that all of this bad shite & bad juju brings the whole festering, rotting, edifice crashing down? One can only hope. Then a rethink, a rebuild. Back to basics, hard work, discipline, truth, beauty, reality, honesty, and a better day. I mean, this can't last, right?!

Moral Discipline in My Kit-bag...

Folk #1: This morning the phrase that jumped out at me like a feral cat: Moral Discipline. There seems to be some kind of theme, or plot, I am unaware of, (see previous post), that is tapping me on the shoulder lately.  

The Buddhist version of "moral discipline" - "a virtuous determination to abandon any non-virtuous action. For example, if by seeing the disadvantages of killing, stealing, or sexual misconduct we make a firm decision to refrain from such actions, this is moral discipline. Similarly, the determination to refrain from lying, divisive speech, hurtful speech, idle gossip, covetousness, malice, and holding wrong views is also moral discipline."

I would not describe myself as a scold, a prude, a moral authority. I am pretty much in the mode of "different strokes, for different folks."  You know, "go along, get along."

Hell, my heroes as young boy were folks like Hunter S. Thompson, Charles Bukowski & Keith Richards. Eventhough I was raised by Nuns, which is pretty much like being raised by wolves, from an early age, I was pretty much in the "sex, drugs & r&r camp." Looking for adventure at every turn, and sometimes finding misadventure.

Still, if I am honest with myself, I do think I have stuck pretty much to a baked-in moral discipline. Maybe, despite my best efforts, some of that Christian, Jesus talk actually stuck. I mean, at least, I lean that way. Lie, cheat & steal? Well, sure. Shit happens, right?! Moral transgressions? Only rarely & usually I felt guilty afterwards. For sure, I never killed anyone. At least, I don't think so. So yeah, pretty much, I think of myself as basically a good person, or a person doing my best to be, to do good. Moral discipline is definitely in my kit-bag, and well, fuck it, there's nothing wrong with it, I mean, fuck, Damn the Torpedoes, Lean to the Light, and let the chips fall where they may...

Truth & Consequences...

Folks #1: Yesterday, a day of pure pleasure. Total leisure, no chores, no rushing from one place to another. Another day in our little secret garden (see previous post). We spent much our time watching the trees swaying, the little birdies flitting about, the rabbits frolicing in the grass, with fabulous music, a gorgeous, improvised in the moment soundtrack drifting thru the air to our hungry ears. It was glorious, restful, recharging, renewing. A very, very good day.

Up early, I come across a stray line of text: 

"... every choice has a moral consequence..."

Yes. Indeed. And if for some reason you think of yourself as a "good person," a person of good standing & of right thought & action, you feel compelled to act with discretion & conviction. Of course, at the same time, you have no idea how any action you take will actually play out. You make choices, and have to live with the consequences both good & bad.

That's how one earns medals & scars, bouquets & brickbats, cheers & jeers, pricks & kicks. You think to yourself that you "don't want to hurt anyone," but, really, sometimes, that is impossible, there is so much that is beyond one's yearning, will, & grasp. Choices. Sticky, tricky choices. Yikes. As per Jean Paul Satre: we are responsible for every last damn thing. Yes, life is often a heavy burden, even in the midst of paradise.

Our Little Secret Garden...

Folk #1: My partner & I are as Pete Townshend sings on Who's Next: "air-conditioned Gypsies." Marginal characters living in a very wealthy, blue-bubble, super-progressive, Midwestern town.  We often roam the neighborhood with our furry, four-legged buddies, and also serve as caretakers at some of the finest homes on the Lakefront. We seem to float above our own humble existence, living in mansions with all the amenities known to the progressive, enlightened wealthy. We are from the "working stiffs," class, basically comfortable, but really, mostly living paycheck to paycheck. Sometimes we feel we can defy gravity, but it's just delusion. 

Anyway, a three day weekend, living in the lap of luxury, my partner and I spent most of yesterday luxuriating in our own little secret garden, surrounded by an impressive stone wall, and filled with beautiful greenery and flowers. A little slice of heaven, especially when the sun is shining down like a benevolent god, bathing us in it's welcoming warmth, with a massive blue sky lording over us. 

We had music on the box, the Japanese band, Mono, the Irish band, Fontaines D.C.  the Canadian expat band, Neil Young & Crazy Horse,  the British band, The Rolling Stones. We engaged in long, rambling conversations about pretty much everything under the sun. It was pure joy. Easy to keep the wolves at bay. To tune out the B.S. To turn away from the ever-unraveling shit-show.

The Best Way Forward...

Folk #1: It's not a three day weekend without my partner & I swimming in a full-blown existential crisis. Time to evaluate, and re-evaluate. Maybe a neccesary exercise? Working that "doom" muscle and seeing if it can still flex? Reviewing life choices, going over early, and late, formative experiences? And, yes, delving deep into those gnarly "de-formative" experiences too. Ha. We are good at getting existential. But then, we can drop that pose in an instant too. Finding we are happy to be alive. Relatively healthy. A roof over heads, still eating, laughing, trying to do our best to be fully alive. We have made fundamental life-choices that have irrevocably defined our lives. Most of our choices have been instinctual, moment to moment, long-form improvisations, with no great design, or plan. Things rolled out, and we jumped from one thing to the next thing. Sure, we can play that fruitless "What if" game, but really, finally, it seems the healthy, soul-enriching thing to do is just embrace all our choices (good & bad), all the diversions, all of the twists & turns, all of the drama & trauma, all of the thunder & hurly-burly, and chalk it up to a wild-ass stew of fate, destiny, luck (good & bad), ignorance & bliss, & the reality of our reality. What are we left with? To be who we are, inhabit our bodies, be here now, as fully & as completely as we can. That just seems like the best way forward. Crisis, and torpedoes, be damned...

A Heretic in the Middle of it All...

Folk #1: "Heretic:" - : one who differs in opinion from an accepted belief or doctrine...

Funny, I feel out of step with my fellow men & women. I stick close to the ground, believe in Reality, Truth, Goodness, and trying to do the right thing. Standing out in a field all alone. That seems natural to me. 

Speaking of natural, I think our greatest "teacher," is Nature. Nature is a hard grader. That's OK. Accepting reality means accepting the weird, strange & contradictory ways of my fellow human beings. And accepting my own quirks & foibles. I gravitate to the things I love to do: read books, listen to music, sip coffee, play guitar, write songs, perform in little dive bars and big concert halls with my friends & fellow musicians. 

I like having a simple job too. Walking dogs. Being a caretaker. Honest work, for an honest buck is fine by me. All of these choices seem to define me, and alienate me from the larger culture. I don't worry about it. I just note it. 

I like writing down my thoughts, feelings, desires, beliefs. Sometimes it's instructive, sometimes, I think, it's just something to do. Getting, along, getting by, trying my best to stay alive, and well, you know, doing my best to enjoy the ride.

Trump's Goons Lose in Court...

 

Folk #1: News close to home. The Broadview Six have triumphed over ICE & Border Patrol. The case was just dismissed with prejudice by the Judge. ICE and BP terrorized the streets of Illinois earlier in the year. ICE/BP assaulted, kidnapped and took folks to a Concentration Camp in Broadview IL. Broadview became a hot-spot for protests. Concerned citizens, members of the clergy & others camped out, raised their voices and protested. They too were assaulted. And then charged with bogus charges. Well, it turns out the case against the Broadview Six just evaporated. A federal judge shut it down saying there was gross misconduct on the part of the Prosecutors. The Prosecutors lied, hid evidnce, and misled the Grand Jury. More crime from Trump's fucking lawless goons. Fuck ICE & BP forever!

Battle of the Times...

Folk #1: Ha. Back to politics this morning. We are now in the phase of this fucked up President & adminstration where the Corruption is now in a fierce battle wih Incompentence. It's a "blood-sport," don't you know, a bloody, gruesome battle to the death. Although this might be a case where corruption & incompetence both win, you know a bloody draw?! We are stuck in the freaking middle, praying the broken pieces of our beautiful country don't come crashing down on our heads. Fuck. Wonder how all turns out? Hope we all make it thru in one piece...

Scientist & Poet...

Folk #1: Delve deeply enough into a subject, it could be headphones & sound waves, medicine & side-effects, human beings & their foibles, history & its lessons, or you know, pretty much anything that you decide to put your focus & attention on; you at first gradually, and then finally quickly, discover that every question you muster up, actually stirs up more questions, and less solid answers to hold close to your chest. You realize, there is scientific inquiry & poetic nuance & interpretation, to pretty much everything you investigate. You are both scientist and poet. You end up with piles of facts, & evidence, & if you are diligent enough to wade through it all, you are forced to make choices using your own poetic, instinctual abilities. And there are tradeoffs to be found at every turn. Coming up with definitive answers is a choice, an art; sort of arbitrary, tentative, it's a shaky, very human art. You then try to build your life on a series of serious choices, but, surprisingly, it's basically a castle made of sand.

Their Racism, Corruption, War-making, & Total Idiocy = Clarifying...

Folk #1: Yes. Our politics of the moment seem really, really bad. The Republicans are shamelessly flaunting their racism, corruption, war-making, and total idiocy, and are blatantly cheerleading for the Epstein Class. I suppose that's clarifying. It helps to see what we are up against. It is all so over the top, it smacks of a clueless hubris and hidden desperation, or you know, clear evidence that Trump & his boot-lickers just don't give a shit. The President is not popular. His favorability polling ranks with Ebola Virus and Tooth Decay. Most of us recoil from that over-stuffed slimeball. Sure, we turn to the Democrats, those brave voices who are telling us this is not the way. We look to the midterms. They glow on the horizon like hot coals of of blind Faith & Hope. It's a kooky system of government, no doubt, but we look forward to November, to vote, like our lives all depend upon it. Voting harder, you know, seems a bit paltry in the face of all this corruption, and idiocy, but, you know, what are the common folks supposed to do? Taking it to the streets? Probably Yes. It is getting that bad...

Caligula, NOT Jesus...

Folk #1: Is there anyone better than Paul Krugman when it comes to explaining Economics or Politics? I think not. Not close. He is my go-to source, and really, he never disappoints. Yes. Caligula, not Jesus...

Caligula: "self-indulgent, cruel, sadistic, extravagant, and sexually perverted thereafter, an insane, murderous tyrant who demanded and received worship as a living god, humiliated the Senate, and planned to make his horse a consul."

NOT...

Jesus: "an itinerant teacher whom his followers believed to possess divine authority in interpreting Jewish law."

"The global scene right now isn’t dominated by a conflict between a rising and a declining superpower, because the declining power is led by a man who has no idea what makes great powers great, is easily distracted by trivia, is focused on self-enrichment and self-aggrandizement, and fantasizes about himself as Jesus. If you want classical analogies, think of America right now as the Roman Empire under Caligula, although Caligula didn’t do anything like as much damage …" - P. Krugman 

Yep. Trump fiddles while the USA burns. Yikes...

The Balloon in China...

Folks #1: How did Trump's visit to China go? Did he impress the Chinese leadership & the people with his charm, grace & intelligence? Was he persasive in advancing America's global interests? Well... hmmm... I think... that... is not the story...

The Secret Sauce...

Folk #1: Ok. In my book, the secret sauce: Being Onto Something. You know, finding the things you Love to do, and then, throwing yourself into doing them as often as you can. Hurl yourself into the things you do with heart, head, spirit aligned. Fully woke and fully engaged, eyes wide open. Sure, you know, listening to music, reading books, playing guitar, writing songs, hanging with the folks you love to hang with. But also just doing simple tasks, menial tasks, even mundane chores. Getting along in the world. Getting out of yourself. Finding freedom in discipline, work, and gladly tackling even gnarly, difficult things. Discovering a sense of accomplishment; a new song, a sparkling-clean, freshly-mopped kitchen floor. Losing yourself, dropping your ego, and meeting the day boldly & gladly. Of course, none of this is rocket science, it's just all experiential, learning a day at a time, trying one's best to live a well-rounded life. Anyway, being onto to something; that would be my great insight, my practical advice, you know, if anyone was silly enough to ask me for advice, a humble pilgrim struggling to be the best human I can be, knowing that I'm just as lost, fucked up & flawed as the next human being.