Faux Fu's EP

Friday, October 22, 2021

Hard Things First...

Sometimes you just have to step up. You find yourself having to do things you don't really want to do. And still, you must do them. I'm being a bit sketchy here, don't want to harm the innocent or out the guilty.

When I was younger, I'd pout, I'd rant, I would be super-recalcitrant, I would put off, I would procrastinate, I would go down kicking and screaming. Often, I'd end up having to do what I didn't want to do, but I would do it badly, or I'd end up doing whatever I had to do, and it would all go better than expected.

At the end of day, lots of wasted time, emotion, effort.

Those days are over. I live by a new code: Do the the hard things first. Just do the damn things you have to do. Don't think about it. Don't hesitate. Just jump in without a second thought. And, yes, tackle the hard thing first, when you have the most energy to do what you have to do.  

Embrace your responsibilities. Meet the day. Gladly. If need be: Fake it to make. Yes. Just do it.

For me, it is going to be that kind of day.

Thursday, October 21, 2021


It's funny. Something has shifted over here. Still feeling a bit detached, and still have a bit of a chip on my shoulder. Experiencing moments of the day, not exactly judging them. What is, is what is. Back home briefly, and then off to another assignment at another location tomorrow. Maybe this moving around, this migratory existence, living in other places, has opened a new vista in my consciousness?

It is all a subtle, delicate thing. Living. We had a fabulous rehearsal with a couple members of our band yesterday. Just two voices, a guitar, a violin and a percussionist equipped with conga, doumbek, and cajon. So thrilling and validating. We live for that kind of session, that kind of collaboration and communication.

Exquisite and life-affirming.

The news of the day sort of flies by. I latch onto nothing. Let it fly. Happy. Healthy. Wondering what's next.  Lately on the CD player lots of Alice Coltrane & The Flying Burrito Brothers. I love that dichotomy. Hard to categorize. You know, not exactly JAZZ, not exactly COUNTRY.  As Gram Parsons so eloquently dubbed it "Cosmic American Music."

Yes. Indeed. Cosmic.

Wednesday, October 20, 2021

is it a ...

Is it a ...


or something else?

Tuesday, October 19, 2021

A Gentle Chip...

Sometimes (maybe not often enough), you wake up, and you are just happy to be alive. Breathing. Walking. Talking. Thinking. Blue sky and puffy cumulus clouds in your dreams. You meet the day as an equal. 

Maybe still feeling a bit detached, dislocated. You are in the world but not of it, or maybe it's the other way around, you are of the world, but not in it. Or, maybe it's both (or neither), at the same time.

You can count on being confused, and tricky. Even to yourself.

Lately I have been feeling detached, and I have bit of chip on my shoulder. My friend tells me it's best to meet the day with a gentle demeanor, so let's say that this chip on my shoulder is a gentle chip.

So, yeah, but, anyway, happy. Alive. Happy to be alive. And still....

Monday, October 18, 2021


Missed blogging the last two days. It's rare for me.  I just happened to find myself unconnected from the web. Staying at an undisclosed location. Radio silence. Incommunicado.  A forced silence.

It's been a bit refreshing. Letting the world pass me by without a word. I mean, of course, my head was swimming with words, my body was flooded with emotions, but I pretty much kept it all to myself. Feeling a bit detached. Not alienated. Just detached.  

I sat in a backyard garden space yesterday afternoon. Someone's else's little secret garden. Sunshine pouring down. Tall green grass. Big, looming trees, lots of greenery all around. Quiet. Hushed.

A big, majestic hawk sat up in tree; he seemed to be looking down at me. He then lofted himself upward, and floated over to another tree;  his awesome wings glinting, flashing in the sunlight, and then, mysteriously, he vanished. Later I discovered a bloodied rabbit, dead in tall grass. The hawk must have chased him down, killed him and feasted on him. Poor little rabbit, blood and life dribbling out, dead and gone.

Sun, greenery, silence, swift action, beak, claw, blood and death.  A glimpse of the story. Complete.

Saturday, October 16, 2021

Sometimes Pop is Not Wrong...

Yeah. Feels a bit weird to like what everyone else likes (see previous post). But, you know, there is something to be said about theater or music that appeals to pretty much everyone. I was staying at someone else's magnificent mansion on the lake, living a completely different life for a few days. Let's just say, "lap of luxury, & unimaginable wealth." Yes, I was the migratory worker posing as the Lord of the Mansion, tending to a little happy, furry creature.

Watching "Hamilton" on Disney + and listening to Sting's "Brand New Day" (1999), on the CD player was pretty damn eye & ear-opening, inspiring and thrilling.  Both works made me realize I'm a bit of an underachiever when it comes to art. Amazing works, both of them, no doubt.

Voices. I think of the voices, the production, the energy, the wonderful realization of the work. One can see why these particular works resonate with lots of people. Sometimes Pop Culture is not wrong.  Sometimes it truly is  Supreme Pop & Supreme Culture combined.

Friday, October 15, 2021

Expectations & Hopes...

Low expectations. High hopes. Maybe, I don't know, maybe that's a formula for better living? Expect nothing, or okay, that's too draconian, expect little, but carry a slight bubble of hope in your heart and head.

This morning, the sun is shining, the coffee is excellent, the music on the box (Sting's "Brand New Day," really, who knew?!) sounds amazing. Perfect.

Makes me wonder if maybe today can be a fabulous adventure. Even if it's basically me walking around the neighborhood on my appointed rounds. Sometimes just being alive is pretty damn cool.

Yesterday, my companion and I watched "Hamilton," on a big-screen TV. Usually theater recorded, seems to lose something, and I can imagine being in the theater live with the cast would be even more freaking amazing, but even on TV "Hamilton" is a thing of joyous wonder. Tears of joy came to our eyes. To see a work of human imagination so perfectly realized. It's an improbable, mind-expanding trip.

Yes. Life-affirming. Sometimes human beings can be pretty damn impressive. The best of us usually emerges in the creative arts. It's the soul work, the spirit conjuring work. Like I said, sometimes you can be greatly rewarded when you come to meet the day with low expectations, and those sneaky little high hopes.

Thursday, October 14, 2021

Migratory Existence...

Different day. Different place. I live a sort of migratory existence. I often find myself staying at other people's places. Usually taking care of little furry friends. It's an interesting life. A weird way to make a buck, but no one is shooting at me, and usually I stay at amazing places. Everything is a bit different. Bigger, plusher, more comfortable, but not my place. Everything is a bit slightly off. I bring my stuff. The absolute essential things I need for a good day.

What is essential?

My coffee-maker. My coffee beans. My grinder. My coffee cup. I find it's best to bring my own. Don't mess with the owner's stuff. Be a bit self-efficient, pull myself up by my own bootstraps. Be a bit plucky!

I also have to bring my Walkman, Audio-Techinca Hi-Fi Headphones, and my latest musical obsessions, CDs, I love those spinning silver discs, which includes, live Grateful Dead concerts, (spanning 1967 - 1978, you know pretty much the golden era), and lately Alice Coltrane. What took me so long? What a fabulous, inspiring, spiritual music maker. A creator of beautiful vibes, unlike any other.

I bring some potions and pills. Everything herbal, "alternative" medicine. Nothing too medical. I am a big fan and believer in Arnica gel for aches and pains. I sometimes bring my guitar, but often I stay at places where guitars are resident. Here there is a nice mahogany Martin, small-bodied acoustic. Easy to play, nicely resonant. A real-deal American original guitar. Can't go wrong with a Martin.

I was strumming that guitar last night, playing songs from the Great American Songbook. "In the Pines" made famous by Kurt Cobain on MTV Unplugged. It sounded nice and mournful in this big old empty mansion. 

This morning, I type into a laptop as a "Guest." Yes. I am just a guest here. A traveler. A migratory worker. A dog-whisperer. A friendly handler of pretty little creatures. Sipping my coffee brew. I combined two varieties of beans so, my morning brew is "Mind, Body, Soul, Love Buzz."

It's doing the trick. I wonder what today will bring?

Wednesday, October 13, 2021

Cloud of Unknowing...

Sometimes, maybe often, the right answer should be, "I just don't rightly know."

Maybe it doesn't feel right. You are exposing yourself, admitting you aren't sure about things. Especially when everyone around you is loud, proud, big, bold, confident, willing to smack you over the head with their opinions.

Human Beings hate MYSTERY. But, of course, MYSTERY is everywhere.

If you look hard enough, the loudest opinion-wielders are usually the ones who know the least. That is some rule right there. Loudest talker, more sure opinion-maker is almost for sure the one who really has no idea what they are talking about.

Good rule of thumb: You don't have to know everything. And if you think you do know everything, you almost for sure are full of B.S. Yes. Indeed.

"True Dat!"

Tuesday, October 12, 2021

The Mix...

It is all chemistry. The mix. It's true for your head, your body, your spirit. The right elements in the right proportion. And it's a crap-shoot, an experiment, an on-going process. And what works today, might not work tomorrow. And you may have no idea what's missing, what's required, what should be eliminated. There is no rule-book or guide-book. You are on your own, you are your own laboratory.

What food? What liquids? Which vitamins? What images, thoughts, dreams? What to do, what to think? What not to do, what not to think? Is it an "Anything Goes Universe?"

You have to be on constant alert. What's happening RIGHT NOW? How do you feel? Is everything working efficiently? What is the weather-pattern inside your body? Do you have a hurricane in your solar plexus? Are there dark clouds in your cranium? Is your intestinal tract a roiling, boiling mess?

Feeling up, sideways, down?

Yesterday, I reached for the heavy medicine. Dark chocolate and guitars. Primo mood alteration methods. A few squares of that dark, rich power food. And getting myself situated on the bed, sitting cross-legged like a Buddha, strumming an old guitar.  

My experience? This combo never fails to transform a gloomy, up and down Monday into a vibrant, rollicking journey of discovery. The right mix. No doubt.

Monday, October 11, 2021

Go to the Wonder...

Maybe just best to go to the Wonder. The wonder of it all. How did we get here? What are we supposed be doing here?  Where are we going? What's it all about?

"I don't rightly know..."

I wonder.

Sunday, October 10, 2021

Go Awry...

Yes, if it can go wrong, it will go wrong. The Fuck-ups are built into the system, you know, the freaking fabric of the Universe. Expect the fuck-up. It's coming...

Saturday, October 09, 2021


Last evening we drove our rental car thru city streets in a fog. A literal fog. It gave familiar streets, signs, buildings, an unfamiliar glow. Everything looked different. The streets seemed wider, the lights were softer, the buildings no longer had hard edges, everything seemed a bit rounded, and dreamier. The real; the material, the asphalt, the concrete, the bricks, the steel, the trees, the curbs, the potholes, all seemed less real. Vaporous. The fog seemed to penetrate the car too, filled the space around us. Wrapped around our heads. Even the dashboard had a soft glow. It was like riding thru a dream-space. We felt a bit lost, a bit found. We pulled onto our street and parked on a hill. Dark trees looming. Mists wafting around us. Fog.

Friday, October 08, 2021

Faking It...

"Fake it till you Make it." 

Yes. Well. I think it's good advice, you know, a good practice.

What if you acted as if you were a good-hearted, kind, thoughtful, graceful, caring Human Being? Maybe if you faked it long enough, you and the folks around you would be convinced?

Act as if you are the thing you aspire to be? If you faked yourself out successfully, if you believed it deeply, maybe in that way you would be transformed?

Acting. Doing. Being.

Yes. I think so.

Thursday, October 07, 2021

The Power of Goofing Off...

Yes. A survival strategy: Goofing Off (see previous post). Maybe not the best, most productive or efficient way to live, but, in retrospect, my time spent goofing off was pretty damn essential. It wasn't a plan, it wasn't a philosophy, it was a practice that I stumbled upon as a young whipper-snapper.

I was no prodigy. I wasn't a high-achiever. I didn't leap tall buildings in a single bound, but you know, I survived, I kept my head, I didn't lose my mind, I kept myself relatively happy and healthy.

I learned to be on my own. Marching to my own drummer. Spent a lot time in my room, reading, listening to records, playing guitar, basically lazing around, goofing off. I found my own inner space, and got comfortable there. I didn't need to seek approval from others.

And I found flow activities. Things that occupied my mind, my heart, my head, my soul. Totally engaged in the moment. Always onto something.

So yeah, goofing off sort of paid off for me. I am not saying you should do it. I am just noting that it turned out to be an excellent path of discovery for me.

Wednesday, October 06, 2021

Growing up in Catholic School...

I emerged from Catholic Grade School, fairly unscathed. I was intimidated by the Nuns and the Priests, but never "fiddled with." I did my best to be invisible. And really, I wanted nothing to do with my fellow students, teachers or Catholic leaders. I didn't want to be an altar boy, and I was always amazed that anyone else really wanted to be one.

I just wanted out. I didn't know I had a choice, it was all a given. It was clearly not a healthy environment. There was something rotten at the core of the whole shebang. You had Jesus, hanging up there on that cross, and you felt badly for him, but then, the rest of it just never added up.

And the Nuns and the Priests had all this power, and it seemed like it was all about guilt, pain, suffering and unhappiness. Not a lot of laughter in the halls. In retrospect, it's safe to say that the Nuns and Priests  seemed like pretty much un-well people.

I was out of there by 7th grade, my family moved to Wisconsin and well, that seemed like going from Purgatory to Hell. I hated Wisconsin with all my might and passion. I felt like an alienated city kid, dropped in rural, podunk, backward America. But I spent time in a public school, and it seemed a little liberating. I was still lost, still doing my best to be invisible, but there was less intimidation and indoctrination. I remember being into poetry, and reading a poem in class. First time actually being seen in school.

Mostly I was all about goofing off on my own. That was my refuge, goofing off. I read and hear about these Catholic Church scandals and it all seems so horrifying. A concerted system of abuse. All across the Christian globe. 

Yes. Horrifying. So glad I escaped pretty much unscathed, except for the guilt, the shame, the cloak of invisibility I carried with me. I had to work hard to shed all of that shit. I mean, it's an on-going process.

Tuesday, October 05, 2021

Not too Plucky...

Carpe Diem: "Carpe diem, a phrase that comes from the Roman poet Horace, means literally "Pluck the day", though it's usually translated as "Seize the day." If I review my permanent record I find that the plucking and seizing hasn't always been all that fruitful.

To pluck or to be plucked

That is the question. I come from a long family line of "go-getters." Maybe more going and less getting? Not necessarily lots of financial reward, instead lots of just getting along. Long stretches of my life seem to be a concerted magic act of smoke and mirrors.

If you seize or pluck too hard, you can strangle the life out of the day. Maybe better to meet the day, live in the moment, alive, aware, awake. See what the day may bring.

Less assertion and more ascertaining...

You want to be plucky, but you don't want to over-do the plucking...

Monday, October 04, 2021

The Rich Ones have all the Weapons, the Poor Ones have the Numbers...

My father always used to tell me that you could look at the Human made-world, and it basically always comes down to the "Haves," and the "Have Nots." Maybe a little Marxian. But also a view forged by growing up in the shadow of the Depression in America.

I always thought it was a bit reductive, but you know, it's also undeniable. There is always a war between the Rich and the Poor. The Rich have all the weapons, the Poor have the numbers. It's a crazily skewed contest.

The Rich want to stay Rich and make sure that their children inherit their accumulated wealth. The Poor want to be Rich, and they long to give their children a chance to improve their lot. The Rich claim some kind of invented, mythical divine right to be Rich. And the Rich blame the Poor for being Poor. The Poor often look up to the Rich with envy, and often blame themselves for their poor condition.

No one seems to want to acknowledge the part that pure, dumb luck, and circumstance play in the distribution of wealth. And also how all the institutions are built to keep the Rich, rich, and to cater to all their whims and desires.

But, you know, in every country, every political system, the Haves always have it over the Have Nots. It is just a fact. Those who have more want more and want to keep it, and lord it over those who don't.

It is a deeply, supremely, rigged game. The Rich and their minions write the rules. And not surprisingly, those rules always favor the Haves.  Sometimes cooler heads prevail, or things get so bad that the Poor ones rise up and upset the apple cart. 

If you are a "do-gooder," they laud you and "Saint" you, when you feed the poor, but they want to murder you, jail you, and brand you a Communist if you ask, why are the Poor always Poor and how can we fix it?

"Revolution..." as Chairman Mao once said, "is not a dinner party."

You may ask, what of fairness? What of Equality, Liberty, Fraternity & Justice? 

"Hey Buddy, can you loan me a dime?"

Sunday, October 03, 2021



Always be morphing.
Nothing lasts. 
Serpentine, Serpentine. 
Show up.
Don't Freak Out.
Everything is complicated.

You know?!

Saturday, October 02, 2021

Morphing, Changing, Growing...

Clear your interior space (see previous post) and look out! You will be morphing, changing, growing. Think Jeff Goldblum in "The Fly."  Things might get sticky, yucky, gross. You may find yourself being able to climb walls with your sticky fingers. You maybe be sprouting weird, hairy appendages from your back, you may find yourself eating some weird shit. Folks will want to say "hello" and jump in and join your nice, new spacious living-quarters. You need to be protective, smart, and willing to keep your distance from the herd.

Friday, October 01, 2021

The Real Interior...

Real - " having objective independent existence..."

It is a conundrum, a puzzle, how to make your interior space real? You know, how do you visualize and make your "living room," real, not the living room in your home or apartment, I am thinking of the living room inside your own being

The trick is to find your inner-space, to make it real to yourself, and to reside in there, to keep it clear, clean, unobstructed, and only for you.  How to be objective and independent about your own interiority? How do you make it vivid, alive, real?

You have to imagine.  To visualize. To create images of your own interior space in your mind and make these images as real as possible.  It is a practice, a tool, a way, a path forward.

To what end? 

Clarity. Clear-headed-ness. Clear minded-ness. Getting your space is essential. The Universe and everyone and everything in it wants in on your space. You are flooded with thoughts, feelings, desires; there is all the needing, wanting, grasping.  You need to find the calm center. Drop the B.S. 

There is a tiny light in there. Go to the light. You can reside there. In the deep quiet, the deep calm-ness. Find yourself. Fill your interior with your own energy. Clear the cobwebs, toss out the trash. Clean-up time can be so liberating, life-enhancing. Clear.

Thursday, September 30, 2021

Back to Basics...

Get back to the things you love to do. That is the best advice for living a well-rounded, satisfying life. It was back to basics for us yesterday afternoon. Three of us;  guitar, violin, vocalist gathered in a circle, connecting musically. Listening to each other, communicating via invisible vibrations wafting thru the air around us. Soul-work. It was so necessary, so healing. It's sort of a magical thing, but all it takes is the gathering, the commitment, the doing. Simple. Easy. Exciting. Amazing.

Wednesday, September 29, 2021

Dark Chocolate, Yes...

I had a "blue day" yesterday. A tropical depression in my solar plexus. It happens. Not sure why. I mean, if I think about it, I could probably come up with a million reasons near and far why I was feeling a bit down.


It's almost like a drug flooding my body. I can feel it. It's a heavy feeling. It usually doesn't last more than a day or two. I am usually going thru some things. Changes. Or reacting to some negative stimulus. I am adjusting to the way I think about things.

So maybe it's like "adjustment time." I have learned best for me to be alone, solitary, quiet. I decided to read a book (Flea's childhood memoir - what a crazy-ass life), and listen to one of my favorite records (Workingman's Dead - 1970),  on my headphones. Also went to bed early. Slept long and hard.

And I dreamed. I dreamed about Chocolate. Dark Chocolate. Chocolate in various forms. So, yes, today, I buy some dark chocolate,  I do believe in following my dreams!

Tuesday, September 28, 2021

Dig the Silence...

You hear more stories of crazy people being crazy, and well, you are at a loss of what to think, or what to say. Maybe best to be silent. A silent witness. You want to do your best to be your best. And the madness, the wackiness, the zany-ness, the stone-cold crazy-ness just leaves you empty. So yeah, dig the silence. Find comfort there.

Monday, September 27, 2021

Reclaim, Recharge...

Putting yourself "out there." You realize this is always happening. Every conversation, every email, every post, every creative project. Any idea you float. Any time your express an opinion, or offer up your feelings. You are putting your energy out into the world.

You need to claim it, call it all back. You need your energy. You need to focus it, channel it. It is what you use to create, what animates your body, what animates your head and your soul. So yeah, sitting silently, meditating, sitting on a bench watching the waves roll in. All necessary. All healing activities.

Being solitary. Finding the calm center. Residing there often. Essential.

Sunday, September 26, 2021

Finding Our Voices...

We went to an event and saw and heard Ravi Coltrane yesterday afternoon. Ravi, the son of John Coltrane, a giant in Jazz. Ravi is a powerful, graceful presence himself. When he blew into his Soprano Saxophone it filled the little room with an amazing, thrilling, deeply wonderful sound. When he spoke of his life, of  growing up the son of a legend, a mythic figure, doing his best to find his own voice, it totally resonated with us. The creative journey. The journey of our lives.

Saturday, September 25, 2021



Decisions you make today, can have massive, unforeseen consequences down the line. That is the reality of being Human; making snap decisions with partial, sometimes faulty, or completely wrong information at your fingertips.

Everything goes down on your permanent record. You can choose amnesia later, but it only goes so far. Denial is a strategy with clear limits. You can and will be wrong. Often. Hopefully, you survive, make it thru unscathed, or only partially-scathed, you end up with some character-making scars, but if you are lucky (where does luck come from?), you hold it together, are able to stand upright to face another day, to make other decisions.

Sometimes you "know what's right." Sometimes you do what "feels right." Sometimes this works out ok, sometimes it really, really doesn't. You want to take Spike Lee's advice: "Do the Right Thing," but often that right thing is obscure, obstructed, a scampering Chimera just out of your grasp.

You can see pivot points in your life. They are guided by "Yes," "No, and "Maybe." Being right, being wrong in the heat of the moment.  Knowing when "Yes," can be deadly, and "No" can be life-saving, or, you know, sometimes the other way around.

You want to avoid being "Dead Right," or "Dead Wrong." But it's a crap shoot every time.

Friday, September 24, 2021

Cool Temps/Cool Head.

It's cooler around here. Good temps for sleeping. Feeling calm, clear-headed, detached. All my trials and tribulations seem like a faded memory. That shit can't touch me now. The coffee brew is potent, fires me up. I discovered Not Milk and it's my new favorite thing. Add a bit of it to a hot mug of coffee and you really have some sweet-tasting, light & refreshing rocket fuel. No, I am not a paid product endorser, but I am a new fan of Not Milk Whole! I still drink Oat Milk too, but man, Not Milk is the real deal.

Listening to Ray Charles this morning. I am a Beatles/Stones/Dylan guy, but you know, no one is as good as Ray Charles.  An unmatched body of work. A trail-blazer, boundary-crosser, innovator, an American original. This morning every song on the Anthology I am spinning is a dagger to the heart, a soulful infusion of good feeling. Amazing. Energizing. Gives me joy, and hope. I wonder what today will bring? I am ready.

Thursday, September 23, 2021

It's All Too Much...

You want to take it all in...

but... really... it's all too much...

too much life
too much death
too much information
too much disinformation

too much chaos
too much bad blood

too hot
too cold

too extreme

too silly
too stupid
too gobsmackingly ridiculous

too many Human Beings on the planet

too much hate
too much racism
too much religious extremism

too much EGO

not enough Love
not enough Humility
not enough Grace

Wednesday, September 22, 2021

A Lesson...

Let's just say that you suffered an epic beatdown. 

Maybe you deserved it. And you didn't really defend yourself. You overstepped your bounds, and well, it was not well-received, and the crowd decided you needed to be punished, that you needed to learn a lesson.

So, you endured a very public beatdown in front of folks you really love and admire. 

Maybe you were well-intentioned, but it wasn't perceived that way. In retrospect, you realize you were quite self-righteous and you were fighting someone else's battle, and this positioned you to come across like some puffed up moral crusader. Not your usual stance.

You didn't fight back. You didn't get angry. You didn't lash back. You sat down and took the punishment. Total surrender.

Afterwards you felt a bit surly, wounded, down, deflated. But at the same time, you were surprised that you found a bit of inner strength. You took a licking, and kept on ticking. And then the feelings fell away. And you found a calmness, a clarity, in the center of your being, and it all seemed like a bit of a necessary cleanse.

You carried on. And the folks you loved and admired rallied back to you. You endured. You survived. And your letting go came across as a sign of strength. As George Harrison once sang: "Life goes on within you and without you."

So, yeah, ok, that was lesson.

Tuesday, September 21, 2021

You Can't Stew...

Well. You can't stew. You have to let shit go. And, really, stirring the shit, is no way to spend your precious time. So you spend lots of time letting things go, clearing your space, so you can fill it with other shit, which you then let go.

It's a process. Sounds sort of shitty, but it's essential. Take in the world, and let it go. Don't take anything personally, even though everything seems personal. In and out. It's a flow thing. Go with the flow and let it go.

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