I am actually pretty experienced at doing the vanquishing. I think my first deep, indelible, existential crisis came to me in Kindergarten. I was building a wall with cardboard bricks, probably the foundation for my new fortress, or castle, and another kid came over and knocked it down. I immediately picked up a brick and clobbered him on the head. The teacher sent me to my rug to contemplate my act of violence.
That was probably my first true existential crisis folded into the idea of being "falsely accused." I mean, yes, I did clobber a kid with a cardboard brick, but I felt totally in the right. I rocked and rolled on that little rug with righteous indignation. How dare I be punished for a clearly justified act?
Yep. So there is the initial theme, which has been played over a lifetime: I create or construct something, someone comes along and tears it down, I have been wronged, I react, and get punished.
How to vanquish an existential crisis? Get out of your head. When I was kid it was jumping on my bike and riding to the open fields in my neighborhood. Long, lazy hours just sinking into the moments of the day.
This extended weekend the antidote was to watch a great film: Licorice Pizza. There is something so satisfying and life-affirming about swimming in great art. Plus, of course, laughter is the perfect crisis-killer. Listen to great music: Steely Dan, The Smiths, Dylan, Mogwai, Modest Mouse. Great music-makers and bands, well-made albums. And to still that internal, infernal monologue. It helps to be busy, delving into other things. Less time thinking. More time playing, playing at whatever.
In the depths of the crisis it seems there is no way out, but, actually, it's a lie in your space, escaping is easy. Those chains are only chains of the mind. Whatever is "invalidating" you, is your own mad-making mind-set. Easily slipped, and disappeared. You escape the prison of your own mind, by forgetting yourself. You liberate and are liberated; the darkness has lifted and what worried you, no longer does.
