Sometimes It is Quite Simple...

Folk #1: You are sometimes forced to make choices. Some choices may come easy. Elementary, obvious shite. Some are much more difficult. Sometimes it seems that one is confronted with no good choices, you are left with gnarly, sticky, very bad realities & alternatives to choose from. What to do then? How do you navigate that shite?! Funny. You think of yourself as a very empathetic, caring human being, but sometimes you are left with the taste of ashes in your mouth. All you can come up with in response to the latest fucked up thing, is to choose a seemingly callous, exuberantly-righteous response: Fuck these people! 

Even the Wealthy, Economic Winners I Know are Very, Very Displeased...

Folk #1: There was a time I thought maybe I was a bit radical. Unhappy. Gnarly. Contradictory. I read Jean Paul Satre, Hunter S. Thompson, Jean Genet, Charles Bukowski. I felt like a Stranger in a Strange Land. Alienated. On the margins. I could argue with a ham sandwich. Just for entertainment. I'm not so much like that anymore. Pretty happy & comfortable in my skin. I can still dissect a sentence or an idea, try on different sides & interpretations; that's just my way. Long time American here. Born in Chicago, grew up in the lower-middle-class suburbs, families making it, not so much banking it. I come from a long line of working stiffs, Democrats, all. Old school Democrats. FDR was considered a Saint in my family line. Anyway, navigating the neighborhood I live in now, much more affluent, definitely tilted to the upper, upper middle classes, I find that folks who I think might be much more conservative than I; retired corporate lawyers, ex-Fed bankers, wealthy freelancers & construction workers, board members of upper echelon organizations, are all up in arms. I think of these folks as the ones who helped make the country, the successfully affluent country that we all have grown up in. They have kids & grand-kids. They are radicalized. Very, very unhappy, gnarly, argumentative. They hate what is happening to the USA under Trump. Even if they got a fucking tax cut. Funny. I take my position, and well, they go me one or two times better. I actually think this is a good sign. Folks who basically won the game; the economic winners of America are very displeased with this wanna-be-Fascist. They hate his Bullying and Corruption. They hate Trump with a burning passion. These usually mild-mannered folks easily resort to beautifully descriptive swear words. I mean, fuck, I'm impressed. Sure, we are experiencing extremely bad times right now, but, the folk are not happy. I do think the backlash will be fucking enormous. Things will not end well for Trump. Maybe we are on the cusp of a new era? First there will have to be a reckoning. Trump has not changed the character of the Folk. Sure, he has his crazy cult, but they are greatly outnumbered. You can't put the toothpaste of the American Melting Pot back in the tube. We are too gloriously diverse. Sure right now, we are stuck in the muck & mire of the shite, but, I am pretty damn confident that this will not last.  A new way, and a new day is on the menu, no doubt.

Discipline Vs Rot...

Folk #1: Yes. But "moral discipline," (see previous post), is in a death-match with "moral rot." We live in the clutches of the Epstein Class. These over-amped rich fucks who no longer care whether they are being seen in public, lording it over the rest of us, instead, actually flaunting and reveling in their own excess before our hungry, needy eyes. America has actually elevated a con-man & criminal, a corrupt to the core individual, to the highest office in the land, and that audaciously counter-productive, self-sabotaging act, has filtered down thru the culture, and has had major consequences for every city, town & village in the land.  You know the moral rot is like a nasty virus, a ever-spooling contagion, passing on from one person to another. And, of course, the corruption flows from our shores, & has spilled over into other lands. Corruption is now the name of the game, it is America's great product & export. What happens when folks think the only way to get ahead is to lie, cheat & steal, and to beat up on our fellow humans? What happens when we all come to the conclusion that our society is a totally corrupt & rigged game? Maybe the world goes tilt? Maybe the only hope is that all of this bad shite & bad juju brings the whole festering, rotting, edifice crashing down? One can only hope. Then a rethink, a rebuild. Back to basics, hard work, discipline, truth, beauty, reality, honesty, and a better day. I mean, this can't last, right?!

Moral Discipline in My Kit-bag...

Folk #1: This morning the phrase that jumped out at me like a feral cat: Moral Discipline. There seems to be some kind of theme, or plot, I am unaware of, (see previous post), that is tapping me on the shoulder lately.  

The Buddhist version of "moral discipline" - "a virtuous determination to abandon any non-virtuous action. For example, if by seeing the disadvantages of killing, stealing, or sexual misconduct we make a firm decision to refrain from such actions, this is moral discipline. Similarly, the determination to refrain from lying, divisive speech, hurtful speech, idle gossip, covetousness, malice, and holding wrong views is also moral discipline."

I would not describe myself as a scold, a prude, a moral authority. I am pretty much in the mode of "different strokes, for different folks."  You know, "go along, get along."

Hell, my heroes as young boy were folks like Hunter S. Thompson, Charles Bukowski & Keith Richards. Eventhough I was raised by Nuns, which is pretty much like being raised by wolves, from an early age, I was pretty much in the "sex, drugs & r&r camp." Looking for adventure at every turn, and sometimes finding misadventure.

Still, if I am honest with myself, I do think I have stuck pretty much to a baked-in moral discipline. Maybe, despite my best efforts, some of that Christian, Jesus talk actually stuck. I mean, at least, I lean that way. Lie, cheat & steal? Well, sure. Shit happens, right?! Moral transgressions? Only rarely & usually I felt guilty afterwards. For sure, I never killed anyone. At least, I don't think so. So yeah, pretty much, I think of myself as basically a good person, or a person doing my best to be, to do good. Moral discipline is definitely in my kit-bag, and well, fuck it, there's nothing wrong with it, I mean, fuck, Damn the Torpedoes, Lean to the Light, and let the chips fall where they may...

Truth & Consequences...

Folks #1: Yesterday, a day of pure pleasure. Total leisure, no chores, no rushing from one place to another. Another day in our little secret garden (see previous post). We spent much our time watching the trees swaying, the little birdies flitting about, the rabbits frolicing in the grass, with fabulous music, a gorgeous, improvised in the moment soundtrack drifting thru the air to our hungry ears. It was glorious, restful, recharging, renewing. A very, very good day.

Up early, I come across a stray line of text: 

"... every choice has a moral consequence..."

Yes. Indeed. And if for some reason you think of yourself as a "good person," a person of good standing & of right thought & action, you feel compelled to act with discretion & conviction. Of course, at the same time, you have no idea how any action you take will actually play out. You make choices, and have to live with the consequences both good & bad.

That's how one earns medals & scars, bouquets & brickbats, cheers & jeers, pricks & kicks. You think to yourself that you "don't want to hurt anyone," but, really, sometimes, that is impossible, there is so much that is beyond one's yearning, will, & grasp. Choices. Sticky, tricky choices. Yikes. As per Jean Paul Satre: we are responsible for every last damn thing. Yes, life is often a heavy burden, even in the midst of paradise.

Our Little Secret Garden...

Folk #1: My partner & I are as Pete Townshend sings on Who's Next: "air-conditioned Gypsies." Marginal characters living in a very wealthy, blue-bubble, super-progressive, Midwestern town.  We often roam the neighborhood with our furry, four-legged buddies, and also serve as caretakers at some of the finest homes on the Lakefront. We seem to float above our own humble existence, living in mansions with all the amenities known to the progressive, enlightened wealthy. We are from the "working stiffs," class, basically comfortable, but really, mostly living paycheck to paycheck. Sometimes we feel we can defy gravity, but it's just delusion. 

Anyway, a three day weekend, living in the lap of luxury, my partner and I spent most of yesterday luxuriating in our own little secret garden, surrounded by an impressive stone wall, and filled with beautiful greenery and flowers. A little slice of heaven, especially when the sun is shining down like a benevolent god, bathing us in it's welcoming warmth, with a massive blue sky lording over us. 

We had music on the box, the Japanese band, Mono, the Irish band, Fontaines D.C.  the Canadian expat band, Neil Young & Crazy Horse,  the British band, The Rolling Stones. We engaged in long, rambling conversations about pretty much everything under the sun. It was pure joy. Easy to keep the wolves at bay. To tune out the B.S. To turn away from the ever-unraveling shit-show.

The Best Way Forward...

Folk #1: It's not a three day weekend without my partner & I swimming in a full-blown existential crisis. Time to evaluate, and re-evaluate. Maybe a neccesary exercise? Working that "doom" muscle and seeing if it can still flex? Reviewing life choices, going over early, and late, formative experiences? And, yes, delving deep into those gnarly "de-formative" experiences too. Ha. We are good at getting existential. But then, we can drop that pose in an instant too. Finding we are happy to be alive. Relatively healthy. A roof over heads, still eating, laughing, trying to do our best to be fully alive. We have made fundamental life-choices that have irrevocably defined our lives. Most of our choices have been instinctual, moment to moment, long-form improvisations, with no great design, or plan. Things rolled out, and we jumped from one thing to the next thing. Sure, we can play that fruitless "What if" game, but really, finally, it seems the healthy, soul-enriching thing to do is just embrace all our choices (good & bad), all the diversions, all of the twists & turns, all of the drama & trauma, all of the thunder & hurly-burly, and chalk it up to a wild-ass stew of fate, destiny, luck (good & bad), ignorance & bliss, & the reality of our reality. What are we left with? To be who we are, inhabit our bodies, be here now, as fully & as completely as we can. That just seems like the best way forward. Crisis, and torpedoes, be damned...

A Heretic in the Middle of it All...

Folk #1: "Heretic:" - : one who differs in opinion from an accepted belief or doctrine...

Funny, I feel out of step with my fellow men & women. I stick close to the ground, believe in Reality, Truth, Goodness, and trying to do the right thing. Standing out in a field all alone. That seems natural to me. 

Speaking of natural, I think our greatest "teacher," is Nature. Nature is a hard grader. That's OK. Accepting reality means accepting the weird, strange & contradictory ways of my fellow human beings. And accepting my own quirks & foibles. I gravitate to the things I love to do: read books, listen to music, sip coffee, play guitar, write songs, perform in little dive bars and big concert halls with my friends & fellow musicians. 

I like having a simple job too. Walking dogs. Being a caretaker. Honest work, for an honest buck is fine by me. All of these choices seem to define me, and alienate me from the larger culture. I don't worry about it. I just note it. 

I like writing down my thoughts, feelings, desires, beliefs. Sometimes it's instructive, sometimes, I think, it's just something to do. Getting, along, getting by, trying my best to stay alive, and well, you know, doing my best to enjoy the ride.

Trump's Goons Lose in Court...

 

Folk #1: News close to home. The Broadview Six have triumphed over ICE & Border Patrol. The case was just dismissed with prejudice by the Judge. ICE and BP terrorized the streets of Illinois earlier in the year. ICE/BP assaulted, kidnapped and took folks to a Concentration Camp in Broadview IL. Broadview became a hot-spot for protests. Concerned citizens, members of the clergy & others camped out, raised their voices and protested. They too were assaulted. And then charged with bogus charges. Well, it turns out the case against the Broadview Six just evaporated. A federal judge shut it down saying there was gross misconduct on the part of the Prosecutors. The Prosecutors lied, hid evidnce, and misled the Grand Jury. More crime from Trump's fucking lawless goons. Fuck ICE & BP forever!

Battle of the Times...

Folk #1: Ha. Back to politics this morning. We are now in the phase of this fucked up President & adminstration where the Corruption is now in a fierce battle wih Incompentence. It's a "blood-sport," don't you know, a bloody, gruesome battle to the death. Although this might be a case where corruption & incompetence both win, you know a bloody draw?! We are stuck in the freaking middle, praying the broken pieces of our beautiful country don't come crashing down on our heads. Fuck. Wonder how all turns out? Hope we all make it thru in one piece...

Scientist & Poet...

Folk #1: Delve deeply enough into a subject, it could be headphones & sound waves, medicine & side-effects, human beings & their foibles, history & its lessons, or you know, pretty much anything that you decide to put your focus & attention on; you at first gradually, and then finally quickly, discover that every question you muster up, actually stirs up more questions, and less solid answers to hold close to your chest. You realize, there is scientific inquiry & poetic nuance & interpretation, to pretty much everything you investigate. You are both scientist and poet. You end up with piles of facts, & evidence, & if you are diligent enough to wade through it all, you are forced to make choices using your own poetic, instinctual abilities. And there are tradeoffs to be found at every turn. Coming up with definitive answers is a choice, an art; sort of arbitrary, tentative, it's a shaky, very human art. You then try to build your life on a series of serious choices, but, surprisingly, it's basically a castle made of sand.

Their Racism, Corruption, War-making, & Total Idiocy = Clarifying...

Folk #1: Yes. Our politics of the moment seem really, really bad. The Republicans are shamelessly flaunting their racism, corruption, war-making, and total idiocy, and are blatantly cheerleading for the Epstein Class. I suppose that's clarifying. It helps to see what we are up against. It is all so over the top, it smacks of a clueless hubris and hidden desperation, or you know, clear evidence that Trump & his boot-lickers just don't give a shit. The President is not popular. His favorability polling ranks with Ebola Virus and Tooth Decay. Most of us recoil from that over-stuffed slimeball. Sure, we turn to the Democrats, those brave voices who are telling us this is not the way. We look to the midterms. They glow on the horizon like hot coals of of blind Faith & Hope. It's a kooky system of government, no doubt, but we look forward to November, to vote, like our lives all depend upon it. Voting harder, you know, seems a bit paltry in the face of all this corruption, and idiocy, but, you know, what are the common folks supposed to do? Taking it to the streets? Probably Yes. It is getting that bad...

Caligula, NOT Jesus...

Folk #1: Is there anyone better than Paul Krugman when it comes to explaining Economics or Politics? I think not. Not close. He is my go-to source, and really, he never disappoints. Yes. Caligula, not Jesus...

Caligula: "self-indulgent, cruel, sadistic, extravagant, and sexually perverted thereafter, an insane, murderous tyrant who demanded and received worship as a living god, humiliated the Senate, and planned to make his horse a consul."

NOT...

Jesus: "an itinerant teacher whom his followers believed to possess divine authority in interpreting Jewish law."

"The global scene right now isn’t dominated by a conflict between a rising and a declining superpower, because the declining power is led by a man who has no idea what makes great powers great, is easily distracted by trivia, is focused on self-enrichment and self-aggrandizement, and fantasizes about himself as Jesus. If you want classical analogies, think of America right now as the Roman Empire under Caligula, although Caligula didn’t do anything like as much damage …" - P. Krugman 

Yep. Trump fiddles while the USA burns. Yikes...

The Balloon in China...

Folks #1: How did Trump's visit to China go? Did he impress the Chinese leadership & the people with his charm, grace & intelligence? Was he persasive in advancing America's global interests? Well... hmmm... I think... that... is not the story...

The Secret Sauce...

Folk #1: Ok. In my book, the secret sauce: Being Onto Something. You know, finding the things you Love to do, and then, throwing yourself into doing them as often as you can. Hurl yourself into the things you do with heart, head, spirit aligned. Fully woke and fully engaged, eyes wide open. Sure, you know, listening to music, reading books, playing guitar, writing songs, hanging with the folks you love to hang with. But also just doing simple tasks, menial tasks, even mundane chores. Getting along in the world. Getting out of yourself. Finding freedom in discipline, work, and gladly tackling even gnarly, difficult things. Discovering a sense of accomplishment; a new song, a sparkling-clean, freshly-mopped kitchen floor. Losing yourself, dropping your ego, and meeting the day boldly & gladly. Of course, none of this is rocket science, it's just all experiential, learning a day at a time, trying one's best to live a well-rounded life. Anyway, being onto to something; that would be my great insight, my practical advice, you know, if anyone was silly enough to ask me for advice, a humble pilgrim struggling to be the best human I can be, knowing that I'm just as lost, fucked up & flawed as the next human being.

Things Get Pretty Dicey...

Folk #1: Swimming in the Sea of Madness, big & little forms of madness, near & far. Can't be good for one's own mental well-being. It takes a sturdy, disciplined mind not to indulge in the madness. Some forms of madness might actually be caused by a virus, passed on from one human to another? Is that possible? Maybe. The madness of crowds, the madness of social media, the madness of isolation, the madness of lonliness, the madness of going down too many rabbit holes, too often. Seems madness is contagious. Maybe madness is just bad chemistry? Bad genetics? Bad luck? Don't get too close, you too can get swamped. Maybe so. Best to stay on the shore, keep a healthy distance from the madness. What happens when a civilization, writ large, revels in madness? Hmmm. Things get pretty dicey. Easy to lose one's bearings. Good luck with that.

Less...

Folk #1: Yesterday's burning question: How to increase one's enjoyment of Life? There are probably a million, or more, answers out there. The quite pithy one that tumbled out of my head: Simplify, Simplify, Simplify. You know, simplify in all ways. Less clutter. Less options. Less alternatives. Less churn & hurly-burly. Less words. More silence. Make a few key choices, and stick with them, until they no longer work for you. "Take what you need, and you leave the rest." Long-form improv. Always be open to dropping things from your Life, and picking & choosing the next thing with a sense of discipline & frugality. You are shooting for a stark Clarity & Clear-headedness. Meet the day, the Universe, with a basic kit-bag; just the essentials. Live lightly. We are always in survival-mode. Let the baggage go.

Empathy Slam...

Folk #1: Confronted with the knottiest, thorniest problem you can imagine? It happens often, for some of us, those of us woke to the max, it can happen every day. If you are a super-empathetic person, you know, an Empath, you find you can easily be overwhelmed "...feeling and absorbing other people’s emotions and/or physical symptoms because of their high sensitivities." Yes. That's what I just, this moment, coined an "empathy slam." I have often, in the past, described it as a "people hangover," intoxicated by someone else's feelings & vibes. Turns out the folks closest to me are all Empaths. Get a roomful of Empaths together, toss them a knotty, passionate, human drama & trauma problem/situation, and well, you easily unleash a freaking horricane of emotion & a torrent of thoughts that swamps everyone in it's path. Often, the only solution to this problem with no real good solution? A good night's sleep. If you can possibly get one. You emerge in the darkest of mornings, and realize, "it's not really my problem." It feels like surrender, an abdication, sort of irresponsible, & callous, but really it's just reality. Not everything one sees, hears, and feels, not everything one cares about is one's business. One has to separate oneself, step back, reassess, and take care of one's own business. Self-care means sometimes walking away. Learning & knowing when to not take action, not impose oneself. As Sir Paul once wrote and sang: "Let it Be.'  Yes. This turning away from is humilty in action. Being humble. Letting go. This is me, this is mine, this is not me, this is not mine...

Knottiest of Knots...

Folks #1: Are there some problems that are totally unsolvable? Seems the answer is yes. Or maybe, that is just a perception in the eye of the probllem solver? Maybe there are no good answers or solutions to be had to some problems? Or maybe it is just that all the answers or solutions are so very unsatisfactory to the very shaky Humans trying to deal with the deal? Turns out reality really is reality, and often reality is complicated & murky. Maybe what we perceive as a problem is really just a series of sticky, ugly, gnarly, facts that we need get our heads around? Accepting limits to our understanding & to our own agency, that seems to be a very human thing. It requires clear-seeing & humility. What to do with the knottiest of knots? Maybe all we can do is experiment, and solve for Love, Kindness, Grace & Hope for the Best...

A Casual & Cool Customer...

Folk #1: Dealing with turmoil, drama, trauma, & the highly-stoked, over-amped hurly-burly of an uncertain existence. Oh yeah, that's life. If you aren't careful, you may come down with a bad case of the existential blues. You can quickly dissolve into a murky puddle of indecision & despair. It is important to step back, take a breath, situate yourself a healthy distance from your own seething human snake-pit. Think of your self as a disinterested, casual & cool customer. An observer, a watcher on the scene. Notice your own emotional minefield. Survey, and deactivate, your own hot-buttons. Tame & chain your own personal demons, at least for little awhile, or certainly, long enough to let a certain clarity light up your head & heart space. Remember, although you actually are quite capable of being happy, when even & especially, when alone, you need people, you need healthy human interaction every day. We humans are truly social animals. Sure, sometimes too much interaction with fellow humans can lead to a "people hang-over," that's just baked into the human carnival. And, oh, yeah, when in the thick of it, deep in the throes of a heavy conversation, remind yourself that you don't need to have all the answers, or solutions. You don't need to float your ideas or opinions at the drop of a hat, you don't need to wield your ideas & opinions like swinging a heavy axe. It is not your job to fix everything. In fact, sometimes the absolute best answer is no answer. As they say: "First, do no harm." A good rule to live by. Silence can useful. And then, maybe, upon a studied reflection, a heartfelt, and absolutely truthful declaration: "I don't know, I mean, I have no fucking clue..."  That is clarity. No doubt.