A Torture Most Objectionable

The only reason one might have wanted to listen to Bush's speech last night would be to get an idea of what waterboarding is like. I mean, just the sound of the man's voice can trigger the gag reflex. Longer exposure would seize one with a primal fear of drowning in the muck of hell. One would do or say anything to make the torture stop. If I owned a shotgun, I might've done an Elvis and just blasted my flat plasma screen to smithereens. Would the plasma bleed onto the oriental carpet? This morning the sound of the man's voice is dancing on the radio waves. This is the hellish voice of BABEL! I devolve into paroxysms of tourettes-like convulsions. PLEASE MAKE HIM STOP!