Faux Fu

Thursday, May 13, 2004

This space: one letter, one word at a time. I tap out a couple of words, trying to find out what is on my mind.

Today I will make a long trek across the city to talk about 'homeland security' to policemen from 6 or 7 municipalities. I find this somewhat puzzling, amusing, that it is 'I' in this circumstance.

I have no insight, no standing. I'm feeling my way through again.

I think I know where I've come from (although, I've forgotten so much), but not sure where I'm going. Lately those with opinions, those with 'answers' make me wary.

If I could remember everything I've seen, everything I've experienced, it's possible I could transform myself, make sense of who I am. I look at myself in the mirror, and I see I am transformed. I don't know who I am, but I think I'd like to find out.

This looking out/looking in is some kind of circular hell.

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