Pitch Perfect for Our Times.

Yes. I received my copy of Albert Camus' "The Plague"  in the mail yesterday. Last night I blasted through 63 pages, finished Part I in one fell swoop. Yes, it's great. Pitch-perfect for our times.

I realize I am one of those people scrambling, desperate for some context, desperate to fashion, to fabricate some kind of meaning and wisdom from our present predicament.

What jumps out at me is that we should all have known that a pandemic was coming. It's part of our human experience. It's a matter of the historical record. We should have been much better prepared. The key is to catch any outbreak early, and do our best to prevent the spread across populations.

Of course, that didn't happen. We collectively failed miserably. There were smart folks (scientists & doctors), who knew the danger, but the rest of us (especially our governments & politicians), pretty much ignored them. It didn't take long for the virus to reach pretty much every country, every human population, across the globe. Stunning. And bad.

As Camus points out in the the novel, our collective failure is a matter of hubris, a lack of imagination, we are too small-minded, too self-absorbed, thinking that it can't happen now, it can't happen here, it won't happen to us.

2020 proves that folly. The revolution is here, now. Everything has changed.We are the clever monkeys. Sometimes we "out-clever" ourselves.

This morning I hear REM's Michael Stipe singing in my head, "It's the End of the World As We Know it..." Yes, but the kicker to the line: "And I feel fine..." is a lie. I don't feel fine at all. No one is fine. Everyone is under a cloud of potential infection. It is sad, tragic, terrible.

A dark time, no doubt.  We must carry on, do our best, but this new reality alters our lives, and will do so for the foreseeable future. Too bad, I mean, we really, really fucked up. We are in for a bumpy ride.

The a.m. soundtrack - The xx's - xx (debut album). (2009). A laptop album, which is not usually my thing, I usually like to hear a full band in a room together making music. But this laptop album is amazing. A stunningly great record. Opens with an instrumental, and from the first notes it grabs you. Something new. Unique. The record has a gorgeous, hushed beauty. It's got heart, and soul. It's so human. There is a deep well of emotion in the voices, a quiet sadness. The voices, male and female, create a special, intimate vibe. Maybe that is the key. The two voices singing and recorded together, at the same time? That comes across.  Surprisingly great. Love this one. Yes, dare I say it,  it is a life-affirming work of art. A bright light in the midst of the darkness.

Echo...

Living in my own little Echo Chamber...

The a.m soundtrack - Mazzy Star's "So Tonight That I Might See" (1993). Lots of echo and reverb and minor chords. Pretty much one tone throughout. I don't really hear words, I just hear a sound. Hope Sandoval's voice is melancholy, depressive, moody. Words get swallowed up. So not sure what the record is about, it's all a bit glum. Not so much a record, an echo of a record.

A Long, Frustrating Trip...

"Are we there yet?"

We may be at the end of the beginning. Probably not at the beginning of the end. This looks to be a long, frustrating trip. Avoiding the virus, keeping safe, staying home, sheltering in place.

Be calm.
Take care.
Breathe.
Meditate.
Go for socially-distant walks.
Eat well.
Sleep well.
Do home-projects.
Find lots of little diversions.
Netflix.
Listen to the news, but in small doses.
Listen to music. Always.
Pick up your guitar and strum.
Dream of better days.

The a.m. soundtrack - J.J. Cale's  "Anyway the Wind Blows, Anthology" (1997). Chill. Relaxed.  Sonic Valium. All of these tracks sound like they were recorded at night, in someone's living room, trying not to wake the kids. J.J.'s voice is the calm in the midst of the storm. Rugged, smooth, he is the ultimate smooth operator. Same with his guitar playing, restrained, a thing of beauty, no wasted notes. No frills. Beautifully played. Solid, well-constructed songs, with heart and soul. All rounded tones. No jagged edges. Eric Clapton borrowed some of these songs and made them big hits, but Eric was the rank imitator, J.J. is the genuine article. A career retrospective.  Solid.

The Era of the Recluse...

Allen Ginsberg from "Howl" (1955) - "I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked, dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn looking for an angry fix..."

JimmyDumps (2020) - "I saw the best minds of MY generation become Howard Hughes-like. Alone. Paranoid, wearing surgical masks and rubber gloves, hiding at home, streaming Netflix, washing their hands frequently & furiously..."

Yes, we are all recluses now. No, we aren't all paranoid reactionaries, and no, we don't all store our urine in jars, and no we aren't all millionaires, and no we aren't living all alone at the Sahara Hotel in Vegas.

But we are spending lots of time at home, in our pajamas, letting our hair and finger and toe nails grow. Unkempt. Unsupervised. Goofing off. Sheltering. Waiting for the storm to blow over.

The a.m soundtrack - Neil Young - "Neil Young"  (1969). Yes. Neil Young, another major weirdo, hermit, recluse, total artist & geek. He has driven so many musicians, managers and fans over the edge with his crazy, zig-zagging ways. This is his debut solo record. A great collaboration with Jack Nitzche (the Dark Prince of r&r), and David Briggs ("Be great, or be gone"). It's a big production. Excellent, with two really great songs, "The Loner," which could be Neil's personal anthem, and the long, rambling, surreal, totally raw, live acoustic track "Last Trip to Tulsa." This was all before Neil hooked up with Crazy Horse, and just after he flaked out and escaped from Buffalo Springfield. Haunting. You just knew this guy was gonna be great for a long time. Yes, a major weirdo. But the finest kind of weirdo.

Protection from an Invisible Menace...

Report from the streets...

A trip to the grocery store yesterday afternoon. It was grim, sad, a bit creepy. My friend and I soldiered on, masked, gloved, gathering necessary supplies.  You could feel the "fear" in the air. Nearly everyone on the street and in the store were masked and gloved too. Plastic shields were erected at the cashier stations. Most of the visual cues, medical masks, surgical gloves evoked concern, fear, folks seeking protection from an invisible menace.

The streets were pretty quiet. Not a lot of folks out and about.

I kept thinking of that great Larry McMurtry title, his first novel, "All My Friends are Going to Be Strangers." So appropriate for the day.

I also flashed on Hunter S. Thompson's title, "Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas," but this one could  be updated: "Fear & Loathing in Chicago, Detroit, Teheran, Mumbai, Tokyo, L.A. New York, etc." I mean fear and loathing in any city big or small where folks congregate.

Also I flash on Jean Paul Sartre and his great insight in "Nausea," - "Hell is Other People." Unfortunately, that seems apt for our present circumstances. The menace underlies every conversation, every embrace, every human encounter. Family, Friends and Foes are all now equally risky.

I just ordered up some new books to read, Albert Camus' "The Plague," (never read it), and "The Stranger." I have read "The Stranger," long ago in my young, rebellious teenage years, a time when when I was mad at the world, and rebelling against pretty much everything in it. Youth. It's a funny thing. I think revisiting Camus is in order. We are all Existentialists now.

We made it home. The bleakness and fear kind of hung over us like a black cloud. It's gonna be a slog. We need to find some projects and distractions to keep our heads in the game. I have a feeling this is gonna be a long game...

The a.m. soundtrack - Portishead's "Dummy."  (1994). Stunning. Sultry. Super-cool. Chill. Sexy. Trippy. From the first notes you know you are hearing something new, something unique. A knockout record. Still sounds totally fresh this morning. Another record that brings pure joy. Perfectly realized music. Incorporates sampling, scratching, loops, but relies on gorgeous lead vocals from Beth Gibbons. A tremendous debut record. Unmatched. 

Hanging Onto the Day...

Hiding out from the virus.
Cooling our heels, and sheltering in place,
furiously waiting, patiently waiting, for a vaccine.

This will be the grand theme around here, maybe for the next 18 months. This virus is here with us, and it's not going away.

Every day one goal = stay healthy.

Maybe this has always been the goal? Maybe this is all just a reminder? Nothing else happens (as far as we know), unless we are alive and healthy.

It used to be carpe diem, "pluck the day," or "seize the day," but now it's "hang on to the day for dear life."

Feeling like a little wisp of a vapor-trail. Pretty insubstantial. Days are long, uneventful, except inside our heads; in our heads it's all a series of crazy happenings, silly dreams, uncommon worries, existential doubts, crashing and colliding.

It's all a bit overwhelming and exhausting. Funny. This new reality is just dawning. The revolution is here. Now. It reared it's ugly, deadly head just a few months ago. It came to us in a nasty, super-contagious, and mightily deadly, viral entity. And then, EVERYTHING CHANGED!

Daily, mundane activities are now considered risky: standing in proximity to someone else, speaking to someone too closely, gathering in groups, touching things that others have touched. Other People are risky.

The past is always with us. Events from the past have lately been bubbling up. Reminding me of who I am, who I used to be. It's the "same" me.

Hanging onto the day... hanging by a thread... keeping safe and sound... as best we can...

The a.m. soundtrack - Nineteen Thirteen's "Music for Time Travel & The Dream."  (2017). Arty. Gorgeous. Dreamy. Beautifully-realized music. This is a time-warp. A head-turner/head opener. A vivid, brilliant dream. A collaboration of fabulous, wonderful, creative spirits. Inspiring. Life-affirming. "Cellist Janet Schiff and Percussionist Victor DeLorenzo (founding drummer of ​Violent Femmes) create the new and dynamic sound that is NINETEEN THIRTEEN. Schiff plays a cello that was made in Romania in the year of 1913 while DeLorenzo plays a set of drums made in modern day America. Together their music suggests mystery, romance and future thought​.​"

A Really, Really, Really Dumb Idea...

Covid-19 is King. Covid-19 is calling the shots...

Hey, how many of you out there want to sacrifice your life so we can "re-open the country?" I mean yeah, sure, your life is important, but really, I mean, what about the economy?

Looks like our Toxic Clown President and his boot-licking minions are getting antsy. They see their political fortunes shackled to a sinking economy. Yes, the U.S. economy, hell, the Global Economy is basically the Titanic and it has smacked into the iceberg and is sinking fast.

Are the rich and powerful really floating the idea that the "little people" just need to go back to work and to shop like everything is just peachy keen? You know, just pretend, just forget, that there is a Deadly Global Pandemic currently threatening the life of every person on the planet.

Something tells me this is a really, really, really dumb idea... I mean, WTF...

The a.m. soundtrack - Silence. No music this a.m. Silence. Room in my head to contemplate the stupidity of some of my fellow human beings. A little voice tells me: "Listen to the experts, the scientists, the doctors, ignore the Loud Fat Man in the White House, he is truly a menace to us all."

The Word is "Avoidance."

The word is "Avoidance."

I mean, I know, in the 60's the Fab Four sang:  "... have you heard, the word is Love?" 

We all thought Love was the word, the word is Love. That's what J. Lennon and the Beatles told us, (oh yeah, Jesus, more biblically, and less musically, told us too), but nope, at this time, on this day, the word is "Avoidance."

What will we avoid today?
What will we not do?
Where will we not go?
Who will we not meet?
How many folks will we intentionally avoid on the street?

"Serpentine, Serpentine!" It all about evasive action. What a world.

The a.m. soundtrack - Mile Davis' "Jack Johnson" (1971). A great, genre-busting record. A big bold powerful sound. Rock, Funk, Jazz, Groove. Some considered it "radical" at the time. Miles' music for a documentary about the great, mythic early 20th century boxer. Two long  tracks, 50 mins of music. Some folks called it, and derided it as "fusion." No sense putting it in a box. It is just music. Played by the finest musicians imaginable. It is not "traditional jazz." An incredible lineup of players. The great electric guitarists  John McLaughlin & Sonny Sharrock, keyboards by Chick Corea and Herbie Hancock, Michael Henderson bass (funky & slinky), and the fabulous drummers Jack DeJohnette and Billy Cobham. To these ears just perfect. Miles had the vision to bridge all borders.  He was always an innovator, unafraid to explore and take the music in new directions. This sounds fabulous this a.m. Snow is falling, I'm thinking about what I'm not gonna do today. Don't even want to enter the ring. Embracing the vibes, avoiding everything else.

The New Rules...

Some folks are struggling with the new rules:

biology over politics
science over P.R.

scientific modeling over gaslighting

data over ideology

you can't spin your way out of a viral infection

the Loud Fat Man on our TV is delusional and will get more folks needlessly ill and stone-cold dead

it is time to tune that fucking toxic, know-nothing, narcissistic sociopath out, I mean, well past time...

facts (surprisingly) do matter

as my t-shirt from Bloodshot Records reminds me "Alt-Country, Not Alt-Facts!"

it pays to listen to folks who know what they are doing, those who listen to experts, those who make decisions based on science, data and facts

The a.m. soundtrack - The Trees - "On the Shore." (1970). British folk-rock. One of the great "lost" bands. We discovered them when our lead singer visited Vintage Vinyl. The Trees' music was on the sound system there, the Sony CD reissue 2007. The owner recommended the band, telling our lead singer that they reminded him of our band whitewolfsonicprincess. She ended up buying both of their studio albums. This is their second (and last) album. Beautiful. Haunting. A bit trippy, touches of prog-rock. Love the guitar interplay, the prominent acoustic guitars, backed by trippy electric guitars. A very different vibe from Fairport Convention. I love Celia Humphris voice; delicate, evocative. A great rare find. Yes, we should all "LISTEN TO THE TREES!"

I Live in a World of "I Wonder..."

Painting by my Mom.

This is a painting in the "Tarot Series" from my Mom. She is amazing painter, an amazing human being and fiercely creative spirit. This is magnificent.

I have always had an affinity for "The Fool" in the Rider-Waite Tarot Deck. My life can be summed up in that card: walking obliviously, happily, basking in the sunshine, nearing a cliff, a little doggie nipping at my leg.

The Fool = "Folly, mania, extravagance, intoxication, delirium, frenzy, bewrayment." 

This morning I am feeling very "Foolish." I woke up with these words on my lips and at the tip of my consciousness...

"I wonder..."

I wonder about it all. I wonder about everything. At my best, I am always in a state of wonderment. I find it is the best way to face the day, to face myself, to face others.

I wonder what's up? I wonder what is going to happen next? I wonder... I mean, yikes! Look out for that cliff you Fool!

The a.m. soundtrack - Curtis Mayfield's "Super Fly (soundtrack)" (1972).  A tremendous record. Beautifully-realized and performed by fabulous musicians. Gorgeous, soulful, funky. "Socially conscious." Curtis' voice is slinky, smooth, sexy, a wondrous instrument. On the opening song those drums sound like gunshots. Ratt-a-Tat! Maybe working on the soundtrack was a liberation for Curtis? This is just fabulous, fine, beautiful, creative. Curtis reimagines the world. Violence & drugs = dead ends. You want to be in Curtis Mayfield's world. A better world for sure. A world of slinky, sexy vibes and grooves. A better world yes, indeed.

I Used to be a Mystical Beast Too...

I dreamed of that nasty, deadly pathogen, Covid-19 last night. I mean, what else would I dream about?

I woke up this morning and read an article in the New Yorker about the lockdown in Wuhan Province in China, and another article about the lockdown in New York, NY too.  I mean, what else would I read about?

I am thinking about, worrying about, trying not to think about Covid-19 right now as I write this blog post. Of course, what else would I be thinking about, worrying about, trying not to think about, and writing about in this blog, except Covid-19?

I didn't turn the radio on this morning. I dreaded hearing about Covid-19 and all the human wreckage across the planet over the radio-waves. I mean, what else, besides Covid-19 am I trying to ignore?

Did you know that parents in China call their kids "shen-shou" a word that roughly means, "Mystical Beasts."  Parents in China are wondering when they can send the Mystical Beasts back to their cages. "The cages are the school."

Funny. Yes. I used to be a Mystical Beast too...

The a.m. soundtrack - The Kinks' "Muswell Hillbillies."  (1971). One of the great Kinks records. This troubled, edgy, often squabbling band sounds like they are having fun. I just snagged a used CD copy of the album, I used to own the vinyl, but it got washed away in a flood long ago. Haven't listened to this one in a while. The Kinks at their musical best. Smart, catchy songs. Uncommonly intelligent. Great r&r and musical hall, and funny and insightful too. Couldn't wait to put it on the BOSE music system this morning. It filled the kitchen up with just the finest sound. Love, love, love this record. Makes me smile, and I can even forget about the virus for a bit. I always thrill at the build of the first track, "20th Century Man," it starts with an acoustic guitar, then builds, and builds, so fricking exciting and great. Every song hits the bullseye. A mystical beast of a record...

A Bit Bewildering...

Good Friday 2020.

If I part the cobwebs in the catacombs of my brain, I can still sort of discern some meaning, a shred of a resonance, a fading echo. I remember all those church services as a wee, uncomprehending lad, wading thru a brutal replay of the Stations of the Cross. It was pretty harrowing. I knew something big and important was going down. Poor Jesus. He seemed to find himself in a very bad scene.

It was all so guilt-inducing. Sad. Shameful. Strange. The Nuns kept telling us that we all had something to do with it. My fellow classmates and I were somehow a party to it all. Not sure what that was all about. I was always a bit bewildered by the whole spectacle. I always felt bad for Jesus.  He seemed like a nice enough guy. Maybe misunderstood?

This morning I wake up to Good Friday and the Plague. Covid-19 is having it's way with Humanity. It's all a bit bewildering this morning too. There is tragedy and terror loose in the land. Makes one sad, and maybe, uncomprehendingly guilty. Strange.

We are all so fallible, mortal, iffy, marginal, subject to all the bad shit that nature and man can conjure up. Terrible things happen to ordinary folks. Every day. It just doesn't seem right. Poor Humanity. Poor Jesus. Maybe we have all been misunderstood?

Bad shit going down. Just trying to carry on, to try to make it to the other side. Is there another side?

The a.m. soundtrack - Arcade Fire's "Funeral."  (2004). An incredible debut album. A band, a sound, fully-hatched, perfectly-realized. A stunning debut record. Breathtakingly good. Exciting. Catchy. Lyrical. Profound. Arty. Sad. Glorious. Win Butler's voice always reminds me a bit of David Byrne. Regine Chassagne's voice a thing of ethereal beauty. Anyway something new, unique. Birthed out of a series of family deaths. A sadly joyful emanation. So good & brilliant. Sounds so alive and fresh this Good Friday morning.

Out There or Intrinsic to Human Beings.

We had pasta for lunch yesterday and listened to Terry Gross interview the very prolific author Stephen King on the radio. It was a fabulous interview. We do believe Terry is one of the finest interviewers in the business. Great, thoughtful, insightful questions. "Fresh Air" indeed.

Stephen King expounded on his grand theme, which I paraphrase as: "ordinary folks facing the extraordinary." Pretty much nails it. And it's something we all can relate to.

I especially loved his discussion of Evil. Is it a force "out there," or is it intrinsic to human beings? Great question. No good answer. But a great freaking question. I think of "Christine" that demonic automobile mowing down promiscuous teenagers. Freaky. Scary. Hilarious.

So yes, Stephen King once wrote a book about a global pandemic, and now we are all living in a Stephen King novel. Maybe we have always been living in a Stephen King novel. The demonic forces are all around us, maybe inside us too. Who knows?!

I wonder how it all turns out?!

The a.m. soundtrack - Ibrahim Ferrer's "Buenos Hermanos."  (2003). A beautiful breath of fresh sound from Cuba. We discovered Ibrahim via the Buena Vista Social Club. Love his voice and vibe. Joyful. Gorgeous. Beautifully played. Piano, organ, guitars, horns, various drums and percussion. Soulful. Groovy. Classic Cuban music. Music that moves, and can move you.  Fresh sound, fresh air.  Helps chase the demons away this morning.

Times are Biblical.

Is a rain of frogs next?

Yesterday it was sunny & in the 70's here. Uncommonly nice. Lots of folks out and about, we took two longs walks. We wore bandanas around our faces and social-distanced.

Every one here in our blue bubble seemed cooperative and responsible.

Later in the evening, the sky darkened and there was a thunder and lightening show. Hail started falling, whacking cars in the streets and knocking against our windows. It was so strange and surreal.

Reports of death, near and far. This Covid-19 virus is everywhere, bringing illness and death to humans all over the planet. It's scary & sad, and tragic too.

It's also maddening & infuriating. The experts tell us all of this could have been handled so much better. We knew something like this was coming. WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN PREPARED! 

The President lies, denies, and points a fat, toxic finger of blame at others. Seems a sociopathic narcissist is not equipped to be competent and responsible. Who knew?!

Times are Biblical.  What next?!

The a.m. soundtrack - Karen O and Danger Mouse's collaborative album "Lux Prima." (2019). The opening track is moody, shimmering, beautiful. Synthetic. Probably the best track on the record. Lately I have been obsessed with playing a mini-moog synth, so some of those Danger Mouse laptop vibes connect with me. The album is lush, moody, a bit experimental. A bit of an acquired taste. Repeat listens help. A record that grows on you.

Keep the Fear at Bay.

"Sheltering at Home."

They say we need to brace for a new wave of Covid-19 cases. Doing our best to stay safe. Trying to keep the fear at bay.

That seems to be the order of the day. For the foreseeable future.

The a.m. soundtrack - Genesis' "The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway"  (1974). A real odd-beast of a record. A double-CD. The last Genesis album with Peter Gabriel. As they say it's, "complicated & surreal." It's definitely quirky and weird. A concept album, the concept is elusive, out of reach. Lots of huffing and puffing. Little of it really connects. I always loved "Carpet Crawlers" a beautiful melody, but not sure what it is all about. Some of it does sound nice on the BOSE music player. The record seems like some grand metaphor for something else. A mystery record.

Death Radio...

Death Radio: NPR.

Reports of death on the radio this morning. Death near and far. A long conversation about death and it's many rituals in many places around the globe.

This is unusual. Unusual times. A bit of a black cloud hanging over the morning and over the day. We have entered a time of reckoning. An era of consequences.

Life is a circle, a cycle. Death is just part of the deal. No one gets out unscathed. No one is untouched. All of us participate. Willingly or not.

Inescapable.

The a.m. soundtrack - Tindersticks' - "Tindersticks" (1993). There is a "hushed" nature to this record. The vocals are sort of buried in the mix, and mumbled, or quietly crooned. Beautiful arrangements. Lush orchestrations. Well-played. It's double album. 21 songs. It has always been hard for me to make out what these songs are about. I float on the sound, with meaning dancing just out of grasp. Beguiling.

Low-Bar or High-Bar?

Well. Covid-19 has upset the applecart, and upturned most of our expectations, hopes and aspirations. What a nasty/deadly little virus. So much death and destruction across the globe.

It feels like an accomplishment to wake up feeling relatively healthy: "Not sick today!"

Is it a low-bar or a high-bar? Not Ill. Still Safe.

We wonder can we stay safe until a vaccine? Experts are telling us we are at least 18 months from a vaccine. Seems like a small eternity. Can we stay safe that long? Is it just wishful thinking?

We have also read that some experts are thinking this is just the first-wave of the virus. We can look forward to a second wave in the Fall.  The mind reels.

We have adopted the new fashion, wearing improvised, non-surgical-grade, face-masks when we go outside.

We are reminded that so much of this crisis is beyond us. We can do our small part, washing hands, social distancing, wearing face coverings, venturing out as little as possible, keeping our heads, doing our best to stay positive.

Is it really enough?

Funny. Our lives have sort of contracted, our world has gotten smaller than we could ever have imagined.

No immunity/highly contagious = A deadly combo.  World in crisis. How will human beings handle all of this, over a lengthy period of time? That's a big question and a big worry...

The a.m. soundtrack - Afro-Celt Sound System - "Volume 1: Sound Magic" (1996). Dipping deep into our collection of CDs this morning. I don't know a lot about this band. We own two of their albums. This is their first album. It comes from Real World, founded by Peter Gabriel, which frankly was a tip-off  that it was worth a listen. "A musical group who fuse electronic music with traditional Irish and West African music. Afro Celt Sound System was formed in 1995 by producer-guitarist Simon Emmerson, and feature a wide range of guest artists." Yes. Very cool stuff. Head music. Body/Soul music too. Trippy, groovy, "World Music." A melting pot of influences. You think maybe it wouldn't work, but it really does. Sunday morning medicine.

Married to Nature...

Married to Nature.

Yes, it's an arranged marriage.  Maybe the result of a "shotgun wedding?"

Think of Wm. Blake's "Marriage of Heaven & Hell."

Blake explains that...

"Without Contraries is no progression. Attraction and Repulsion, Reason and Energy, Love and Hate, are necessary to Human existence. From these contraries spring what the religious call Good & Evil. Good is the passive that obeys Reason. Evil is the active springing from Energy. Good is Heaven. Evil is Hell."

So yes, being a Human Being means embodying, both Good and Evil, Heaven and Hell. We are body and Spirit. Spirit attached to Body. Body inhabited by Spirit. At least that's how if feels to be a human being to this human being.

We are the Marriage of Heaven and Hell...

It's a thorny, complicated thing... life...

The a.m. soundtrack - The Decembrists' "The Crane Wife."  (2006). Supposedly based on a Japanese folk tale. Who knew?! A tale of a man, married to a crane. He lives off the fruit of her labor. Of course, he abuses the situation, his greed becomes a destructive force, The Crane Wife suffers and finally flees, never to return. Yes, well it's a nicely constructed record. Musical, whimsical, intelligent, well-played. For some reason it sounds a bit nautical to me. There are elements of "prog" rock. Surprisingly a very clean-sounding production. Unlike any other record we own. Unique.  Yes. Married to nature...

Adaptation, Evolution, Improvisation...

I am fond of saying: "You Must Believe."

It is sort of my code. It helps to believe in something. Not sure what you should believe in, although something amorphous and nebulous is probably best. For instance, believing in a Better Day, or in Love, or Art, or Creativity seem like solid choices.

You must be ready to change your mind. Drop any preconceptions at the drop of a hat. You must be smart, and pragmatic. It's best to try to see & think clearly, day by day.

Too much Religion can kill you.
Too much Ideology can kill you.
Too much Reality can kill you.

You don't want to die for an idea. You don't want to be stupid. Let reality be your guide. Probably best to think of yourself sort of like a Private Investigator, or a Scientist. What are the facts? What's happening? What does the data tell us?

Best to think of life as a long-form improvisation. Improvise. And always be moving, open, and willing to change direction.

Adaptation, Evolution, Improvisation.

The a.m soundtrack - Crumb - (The Soundtrack) 1995. A collection of of music from the documentary film about the great cartoonist R. Crumb. Classic old ragtime and blues. Lost. Obscure. An obscurity from an obscurity. Classic early American music, laid down on old 78 rpm.  Lost classics, revitalized. Breath of fresh air this a.m.

My Own Devices...

Safe. Today.

I have always been a loner. So life under the coronavirus confirms the lonely path. I mean, I am not alone, I am hunkered down with a my closest loved one, and we are surrounded by our little birdies. A flock of 4. So even in our little bunker, we are surrounded by life. Living with the living. I have also been staying in touch with other close friends and loved ones via phone.

Still, I have always been a loner, and I have actually always been comfortable being alone. It's funny, later in life I got into theater and music, and found myself on stage in front of lots of people. But, really, being on stage is just perfect for someone who embodies alone-ness.

This morning I think of Bartleby the Scrivener and his famous saying... "I would prefer not to."

There is so much we can no longer do, we must kiss these actions goodbye:

to congregate
to meet
to crowd in
to hang out
to gather together

Theater and music are no longer communal things (until further notice).

A big part of my life has been canceled. Weird. Strange. Odd.

So I am left on my own, and I am owning it. I fill myself up with music, books, videos, playing music, learning a new instrument (mini-MOOG!), dreaming, laughing, crying.

So what's on the agenda today? "I would prefer not to" is my guiding imperative. So many things fall away... what is left?

Safe. Today.

The a.m. soundtrack - John Coltrane's "My Favorite Things."  (1960). One recent morning I played Hendrix's "Axis: Bold as Love", and my partner followed it up with this record. And it totally made sense. Jimi Hendrix and John Coltrane. Ultimate musicians. Ultimate Artists. Unlike any others. They do kind of complement each other. So this morning I spin Coltrane. He takes some familiar standards and flies to distant lands. He is playing soprano saxophone for the first time on a record. Such a beautiful tone, such a beautiful, expressive vibe. It is a fantastic record, and a historic one. The first version of the John Coltrane Quartet with McCoy Tyner on piano, Steve Davis on bass, and the amazing Elvin Jones on drums. What is Jazz? This is Jazz and so much more...

Wednesday Improvisations.

1. Well. I always did suspect it, but the coronavirus lockdown confirms it, I am Non-Essential Personnel. I have always been so, from birth to now. My whole life has been one long goof-off. My life and everything I have done with it is a whim of nature, a bauble, a knick-knack, a little improvisation and a diversion. Me and my life = A Luxury.  On the one hand, it makes me feel small, unimportant, a toss-off, but then on the other hand, isn't it sort of a kick? I mean, I am a lark, a breeze, a snatch of sunlight, a moonbeam, a silly, inconsequential dream. Funny and sort of Zen.

2. I am now dreaming in MOOG. Yes. I have been learning how to navigate and play a little mini-Moog synthesizer on an iPad. I have become totally obsessed, I ran down into the rabbit-hole, and have spent many hours mesmerized. I am composing music. Creating. I have no idea if any of it is good, or useable, I can't imagine actually incorporating it into my band whitewolfsonicprincess, but then again, just the pure act of doing it has been exciting and sort of liberating. Playing a Moog is such a departure from playing guitar. Lots of knobs and settings, an incredible array of sounds, so much time just getting something interesting to emerge. I think I'm in love with a Moog.

3. The coronavirus has made us glad to be living in a solidly "Blue Bubble."  We live next to a big midwestern lake, some days it looks like the ocean, and folks here are quite progressive. It is a famously, and long-time liberal bastion. Which means, lots of vegetarian restaurants, lots of yoga studios, lots of activists, writers, poets, musicians, photographers, high-paid lawyers, consultants, and folks with ways and means. It's not a poor town. It is a great place to live. And we have all taken the coronavirus seriously. So lots of determined social-distancing. We all pretty much tuned out our Toxic Clown President early on. Not sure if this means we will avoid the worst of the worst, but everyone is taking great care, trying to stay safe. Not sure how much it helps, but it is somewhat encouraging. There is a great, socially-distant feeling of solidarity with our fellow Blue Bubblers.

4. The highlight of every day has been a walk to the lake. It is a grand dance. Keeping distance from other folks. Every human being is an obstacle to be avoided. Best to assume everyone is infected. At the same time, of course, we are all in this together. Yes. We are all avoiding each other. But we are doing it because we care for each other. Pretty strange. Welcome to the Terror-Dome.

5. The radio tells me that now our Toxic Clown in Chief is selling death. After months of down-playing the virus, now he tells us this is something serious. Who pounded that message into his thick head? Wonder how long he can stick to the message of doom? Thank goodness we have local officials here who have been consistent and responsible from the start.

The a.m. soundtrack - Nick Drake's "Bryter Layter"  (1971). All three Nick Drake records are great. Each a bit different. This second release is a bit of a departure from "Five Leaves Left" a stone-cold masterpiece. Horns on this one. It's a little bit different vibe, great in its own way. Moody instrumentals. Fabulous orchestrations. Nick's voice & guitar playing is superb and captivating. This one was the first Nick Drake record I "discovered," so it resonates deeply with me. A brighter hush to the production. Hats off to the great Joe Boyd. Backed by some great musicians: John Cale, Richard Thompson, & other members of Fairport Convention. This one flows, sits lightly, resonates. Sterling. Brilliant. Grace.

What Have We Learned?

What have we learned, so far?

There are things we don't know, and can't see, that can gravely harm us.

Cleanliness really is next to Godliness.

Good Luck & Bad Luck, Fortune & Fate are all real, and are determinative in our lives.

Probabilities rule.

Biology & Death are great levelers.

We are all fragile, delicate beings.

We really are all in this together (although lots of folks will never be convinced).

Math & Scientific Modeling are informative & instructive, but those numbers & graphs = Human Lives.

Be smart, be aware, be awake, take care, carry yourself lightly & with grace. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Take your vitamins. Stay positive. What else can we do?

The a.m. soundtrack - Jimi Hendrix Experience - "Axis: Bold as Love."  (1967). A gorgeous record from a true "boundary-crosser." A guitar Magus. No one comes close. A musician and human being unlike anyone else. The Experience: a blast of magic, love and supremely beautiful vibes. The Experience blew the doors off the scene in late 60's London. An amazingly soulful trippy, band. LSD-infused. Dazzling. Jimi plays like no other human on the planet. Otherworldly. Steeped in blues, r&b, rock, soul, jazzy touches. Everything done with maximum creativity, love and power. Mitch Mitchell is one of our greatest drummers, Noel Redding has some beautiful bass-lines through out the record. I am in love with Hendrix as a vocalist and songwriter. This record has so many standout tracks: Little Wing (dazzling and gorgeous, it always takes my breath away), Spanish Castle Magic, If Six was Nine, ("I'm the one who has to die, when it's my time to die..."), Bold as Love... incredible... a promise of another land, another way of being, this record always transports me... magic...

Dark Angel Hovering...

It is gonna be hard to ignore the virus.

It's like a black cloud hanging over everything. Or a Dark Angel hovering. Or a gorilla sitting on our collective consciousness. 2020 = The New Dark Ages.

I tune into the radio as usual, this a.m. and all the news is dark, and will probably get darker. More illness. More death. Hard to put your thoughts anywhere else. It is topic #1.

Laying low. Hanging tight. Carrying on. Social-Distancing. Frequently hand-washing. Our mission is to stay healthy. Try our best to avoid that invisible menace.

The a.m. soundtrack - The Rolling Stones' England's Newest Hit Makers - the U.S. Edition. (1964). A blast of exuberant r&b and blues from a much more innocent time. 5 musicians in a room recorded directly to tape. 33:24 of fun & excitement. I love the rawness of the tracks, the tight, but loose ensemble playing. Andrew Loog Oldman's amateur production is a feature. Nothing fancy. Brian Jones & Keith Richards do that great interlocking guitar weave. Charlie and Bill are a fabulous drum/bass combo. Mick Jagger is a charismatic frontman. Believe it. A confident band. They know they are onto something super-cool. Promising. Their original, "Tell Me," (later featured in Martin Scorsese's "Mean Streets), is a good one. So many favorites. Covers of songs from Willie Dixon, Jimmy Reed, Chuck Berry, Rufus Thomas, Buddy Holly, James Moore, Holland & Dozier. These young cats had great taste. And they back it up. All the elements of a great band are there from the start.

More Attentive...

More attentive...

One thing is clear. We are becoming much more aware of our well-being and health in this crisis. Checking on our breathing, doing an inventory of any aches or pains every morning. Every cough or sneeze is suspect.  Is this the beginning of the onset of a Covid-19 infestation?

We are loading up on Vitamin C, we have a supply of Zinc tablets at the ready, just in case. Not sure if these things are useful, or just a waste of time and $, but you know, the general thought is: They Probably Can't Hurt.

Also drinking lots of hot tea, ginger, garlic, lemon...

Looks like we will be wearing masks out in public going forward. That's what we heard from a "Pandemic Expert" yesterday on the radio. Seems like we are all becoming amateur Pandemic Experts.

We have learned a lot about viruses, and pandemics and our interconnected global world. More info than we ever knew before. Some of it is pretty awful to consider, some of it is hopeful. Maybe knowledge is power. Or maybe knowledge is superfluous? The virus don't care if you know or not. Still, the more we know, the better we can prepare and take "precautionary measures." That's about all we can do.

Living with pandemics... it may be our future...

Spending lots of time indoors. Time of the Lockdown. We wonder if "social distance" can really save us? Who knows?! Taking it all day by day.

The last few days I decided to learn how to navigate & play a Mini-Moog Synthesizer on an iPad. It has totally consumed me. I have fallen down a deep rabbit hole. Not sure if I can work a Moog into my band's sound, it's a totally off the road detour, but I am excited about learning a new instrument. My partner told me some of my doodling on the Moog sounded sad & beautiful... funny...

The a.m. soundtrack - The Flaming Lips' "In a Priest-Driven Ambulance." (1990). Okies on Acid. This is a trashy-sounding record. Sounds so home-made. Wayne Coyne's voice fragile & off-key. Friendly-like. This is "early" Lips with Mercury Rev's Jonathan Donahue in the lineup, along with drummer Nathan Roberts. A kind of strange, obscure document. A band exploring weird, trippy, sonic territory. 90's psychedelia. Unsupervised, amateur, loose, kicky, noisy, scratchy, cheap-sounding, buzzing and feeding back, pawn-shop guitars. Ends with Wayne trying his best to mangle Louis Armstrong's signature song "What a Wonderful World." It actually, kind of works.

2020 - Our Brave New World.

"Life is People." - Bill Fay

"People have the Power." - Patti Smith

"People are the Problem." - Covid-19

We have met the enemy. It is a nasty, deadly viral entity. It is brought to us by close contact with other people. Scary. Freaky. Welcome to 2020. I remember thinking 2020 would be the year of "clear-seeing," maybe I was right: What we see, is what we can't see, and oh yeah, it can kill you.

We have been practicing social-distancing, pretty much in lockdown mode here, hunkered down until further notice. Yesterday, we found ourselves low on supplies, so we ventured out to the grocery store. Two of us, we wrapped our faces with bandanas, we looked like amateur bandits, or badly-cast revolutionaries.

Grocery shopping is now the most risky, "dangerous" activity on our calendars.  Trying to shop less frequently. It was a strange, surreal experience entering our local Whole Foods. Navigating the aisles, doing our best to keep our distance from other shoppers, most of the folks were wearing masks, or other kinds of coverings over their mouths.

You can't help thinking that Covid-19 is lurking, hovering over, and around us all. Could it be in the air? On the shelves? What about the packages, the cans? Shite, what about the produce?!

At check out we thanked our grocery clerk.  It must be totally strange and unsettling to be in that store all day long, watching folks doing their best to stay infection-free.

You wonder, is it even possible? We got home. "Sanitized" the boxes, cans, washed the vegetables. Washed our hands. Exhaled. We won't have to venture out to do that again for maybe a week...

Yikes. Welcome to our Brave New World.

The a.m. soundtrack - Father John Misty's "Pure Comedy."  (2017). When Josh Tillman exited Fleet Foxes, he put on his Father John Misty mask and found his voice as a singer/songwriter. Father John Misty has a lot to say. Maybe sometimes too much to say. He asks all the big questions. He likes to observe himself as he composes, asks, and sings. He is a bit precious. Self-aware/self-absorbed. A complete Hipster. So smart, a bit of a smart-aleck. He does have a fabulous voice. He writes with passion and intelligence. It's a great record. About the Human Comedy. And you, know, really the joke is on us.

His Unmitigated Stupidity Will Lead to More Illness & Death!

The Toxic Clown in Chief 's words and actions (inaction too) are tragic, an on-going, abject failure. His unmitigated stupidity is going to lead to more people becoming ill, and lead to more death. Tune him out! The Toxic Clown in Chief and his team issued a "cease & desist" order to take this ad down.  I think it should be shared widely. The Truth hurts, still it's the Truth.

Our Toxic Clown in Chief really is a dangerous know-nothing. Remember, character counts. This current crisis reveals the depths of our President's unsuitability for the job he occupies. I suggest it is best to tune him out. Instead, listen to the experts, the doctors, the scientists, the Governors who have stepped up to take responsibility to care for their fellow citizens. This virus doesn't seem to give a shit about Red State or Blue State, Republican or Democrat, Conservative or Liberal. The virus is an equal opportunity menace. Don't be stupid.

By the way, as a companion piece, be sure to check out this Roger Water performance of "Pigs (Three Different Ones)." It is fabulous. Roger Waters warned us (October 2016), that the Toxic Clown is a Liar, a CHARADE  and a Pig.  We were all forewarned... view it and weep...

The a.m. soundtrack - Emerson Lake & Palmer's "First album"  (1971). ELP, sounds like a law firm. A much derided record and group. Lots of folks considered ELP just three pretentious show-offs. Classically-trained. How dare they? They actually know how to play their instruments. I mean three virtuosos. So un-r&r. OK. Yes, the drum solo in the middle of the record is a bit much. So many bands fell into that cliche and trap. It's hard not to want to skip over that after the first listen or two. Still the musicianship on much of the record really is pretty impressive. It's very, very progressive. Keith Emerson's organ playing is extraordinary. The best song, the one that everyone heard on the radio is "Lucky Man." It was a song Greg Lake supposedly wrote when he was 12 years old. A beautiful ballad. And Emerson's vamp on the Moog Synthesizer at the end is unexpectedly exquisite, and strangely loose and wild. Sort of takes your breath away. OK. Yes, it is worth it to slog thru the heady, classically-infused tracks to get to "Lucky Man." It really is... "Oh, what a lucky man, he was..." A wonderful song. One of the great ones, no doubt.

"Are We There Yet?"

"Are we there yet?"

"When will this be over?"

"Are we all gonna get it?"

"When does everything get back to normal?"

"Are we all gonna die?"

"How are we gonna make it?"

"Is anyone in charge?"

"Will we ever be able to gather together in a crowd again?"

"When can we stop thinking/talking about it?"

"Is this all just a bad dream?"

The a.m. soundtrack - "Buena Vista Social Club." (1997). Produced by American guitarist Ry Cooder.  Recorded live in the studio the old-fashioned way. "It should be the thing that sets it apart. It was a kind of club by then. Everybody was hanging out and we had rum and coffee around two in the afternoon. It felt like a club, so let’s call it that." - R. C. You can hear it in the grooves. A blast of classic Cuban standards, played with heart and distinction. "Buena Vista Social Club was meant to bring back the traditional trova and filin, a mellower take on the Cuban son and bolero, as well as the danzón." Recorded under the umbrella of Castro's Cuban, Communist Regime. Pure joy. Pure musicianship. So refreshing. Life-affirming. Groovy. Perfect morning blast of enthusiasm from the "socialist" fringes. Music that makes you think you can make it thru. Viva La Revolution!

Social Distancing is the Order of the Day!

We are taking shelter at home. Social Distancing is the order of the day. The highlight of every day is pretty simple: socially distant walks on the lakefront. It is always invigorating to walk to the lake and watch the waves crashing in. Every day the lake looks different. Sometimes smooth as glass, sometimes a churning, raging beast. And everything in between.

Turns out Spring is happening all around us. Green shoots coming up thru black dirt, buds on the trees, birds busy doing their busy birdy things. Each day, so far, we have spent time basking in the healing rays of the sun.

Everything seems normal out in nature. Still, we know the virus is out there. Most folks around here are doing an excellent job of distancing themselves. Lots of knowing glances and nods of the head from folks passing from a distance. Everyone is being serious and responsible.

At home it's all about music. Playing music in the kitchen, two voices, an acoustic guitar, various shakers and bells. Playing old songs, and new songs. It's been super-gratifying.

We also of course are playing all kinds of CDs on the BOSE Music System. Positive Vibes flowing thru the air.

We do tune into the radio once in awhile to catch the latest news. We have been listening to our Governor give his daily Coronavirus Update. We voted for Pritzker. He seemed much better than the alternative, but frankly we didn't have high hopes for him and his term in office.

We have been surprised at how good Pritzker has been thru this crisis. He seems in command of the situation, listening to the experts & scientists. He is not making crazy promises. He is taking responsibility, he has marshaled forces to try to tackle the problem. He comes across as a common sense problem solver. He has been a reassuring voice. Surprising. Who knew he would rise to the occasion? Who knew someone in power would show compassion and care? Pritzker: "You should not have to choose between your life and your livelihood." Makes sense. Life comes first.

The a.m. soundtrack - The Zombies' "Odessey & Oracle."  (1968). Recorded at Abbey Road and Olympic studios in 1967. Exuberant, British Psychedelia. A joyful blast of catchy, perfectly-realized Pop. Gorgeous harmonies. Fabulous musicianship. It stands up to anything else from that era. The band dissolved when the record was released and the first two singles sunk without a trace. "To this day it remains a word-of-mouth obscurity." Later  the single "Time of the Season" became a major hit. Still this record is much more than one single. Sounds so fresh. A breath of fresh air. A major work that can go toe to toe with albums from The Beatles and Pink Floyd released around the same time. Zombies Live! Really. No kidding!

Expert Germaphobes.

My partner and I are walking around our place like full-blown hypochondriacs. We are discovering new aches and pains that never surfaced before. Every sneeze, every cough is suspect. This is new. We have both become expert germaphobes. Who knew that could be a job?

There is an invisible enemy loose in the land, and really, it is legion. All we can do is be vigilant, careful, determined. Doing our best to be super-clean, and safe. We are taking our vitamins, sipping lots of hot tea, eating garlic, & ginger. Don't know if that does jack-shit, but it does make us feel a bit better.

Yesterday, I received a letter from my cousin who lives in Arizona. He sent me two face-masks, a photo of the TV show Pop band, The Monkees, as well as a cool photo of a Gretsch guitar. A perfect little missive from the Land of the Sun. The masks may come in handy. I laughed at the photo of Mickey, Davy, Michael and Peter, and I lusted after that old, classic Gretsch guitar.

My cousin is hunkering down, just like us. Cases of the plague there, cases of the plague here. It really is near and far and everywhere in between.

My partner and I had a little music session in our kitchen. We ran through some old songs, and some brand new songs too.  Just two voices, an acoustic guitar and a few bells, shakers and a tambourine. That's the whole thing, right there. It felt good to play. Our voices reverberated thru the apartment. The kitchen is all hard surfaces, which results in a nice reverb effect. It's not exactly Phil Spector reverb, but it's not bad.

We also ventured out. The sun was shining in the afternoon, and like little moths to the flame, we had to take a trek to the lakefront, to look at the waves crashing in, to bask in the sun a bit, to notice the new roots pushing up from the black earth, little buds on the trees, new flowers coming. Damn, Spring really is coming back.

Late in the day word came that our Toxic Clown President is getting bored with the global pandemic.  Seems he's bummed that all the attention is on the virus and not on him. Plus, of course, if the economy crashes, folks may hold him accountable for fucking up the response to the virus. President. It's a tough job. “Trump is like an 11-year-old boy waiting for the fairy godmother to bring him a magic pill.”

Right. Yikes. Best to tune the Toxic Clown out. He is gonna get more people needlessly ill. There are plenty of other voices to turn to, listen to the doctors, the medical professionals, the more intelligent and responsible Governors through the land (Priztker, Newsom, Cuomo, etc.). Be smart, be safe, take it one day at a time...

The a.m. soundtrack - Gillian Welch & David Rawlings' "Time (The Revelator)."  Yes. Essential. Two voices. Two guitars. This record puts me in mind of Flannery O'Connor and her short stories of hard, bible-belt, southern, bleak-gothic country. These are songs of fire and heart. A dark, stripped down, beauty. So American. Plain. Gritty. Well-constructed. Beautiful. Gillian and David met at music school, but they seem like hard-boiled Americans from a time and place long ago. You can hear echoes of the Carter Family. Hard-won songs after the apocalypse, after the drought, after the locust & the plague. Two folks singing songs in a shotgun shack. "I dreamed about Elvis, the day that he died, the day that he died..."

Voices in the Crisis.

Times of crisis. I flick on the radio. Seems it's all going to get worse before it gets better.

I switch off and turn to the voices in my head. I hear Vince Lombardi telling me: "When the going gets tough, the tough get going."

Not sure how that works in the time of "plague;" a little invisible, viral entity wreaking havoc across the globe. I suppose try to stay safe & healthy, and don't succumb to the darkness. Also from Lombardi: "Run to daylight."

Yes. Maybe that's closer to the mark. Some say that maybe the virus doesn't do well in direct sunlight. Hope that's true, but who knows?!

We are in lockdown mode. Still going out for walks. Trying to stay on the sunny side of the street, and the sunny side of life. Not easy. Today is cloudy and gray, with a bit of snow on the ground.

Yikes. My father used tell me: "No one ever promised you a rose garden." 

That's true. No promises. We all just found ourselves here on this little spinning blue planet. Doing the best we can.

The a.m. soundtrack - Tom Waits' "Alice." (2002). Another one of those amazing voices I turn to in times of need. Waits sounds a bit like Louis Armstrong, a bit like Howling Wolf, a bit like a raving street preacher, street poet, beat poet. He is supremely dextrous singer and lyricist: musical, jazzy, intelligent, hilarious. That voice is old and crusty, hard as a rusty nail. Waits is a verbal/lyrical trickster and magus. This record was written for a play, directed by Robert Wilson. Waits at his arty best. A bit of that  trashy Bertolt Brecht, European ragamuffin, down and out, vibe. Puts me in mind of the Threepenny Opera. All songs co-written with Kathleen Brennan. A major work in Waits canon. Brilliant, moody, melancholy, inspiring. A dark, twisted, hard beauty. Waits unbound.

Muddle Thru...

Maybe I got carried away (see previous post) yesterday? Blame it on a good night's sleep and a potent coffee brew. I look back at yesterday's manically optimistic post, and I think to myself, "What bubble do you live in, Dude? Pull your horns in, Man!"

I am thick in the middle of the dichotomy (dumps vs. sunny) of being me.  This morning, thoughts of "revolution" and instant "change of consciousness," seem like big, gaudy words and ill-conceived concepts from a distant land. What the hell was I thinking?

This morning I am feeling much more humble and tentative. Maybe, just maybe, we can muddle through the plague!?

Maybe. I mean, I hope.

Maybe we can all make it without devolving into some savage & dark Road Warrior Apocalyptic Existence? I've seen all the movies, and read all the books too. I know all about dire straits, doomsday scenarios and dark avenues.

I have no great insights. I am just trying to keep my head up, keep myself occupied, trying not to panic, trying to follow the thread of the story, and carry some little hope in my heart that we can somehow keep going. Muddle through.

Maybe people will pull together? Maybe we will do the right thing? Maybe we can be all civil with each other? We are all going to have show a bit of discipline. A determined "stick-to-it-tive-ness."

Try to stay healthy. Try to keep our heads. Try to dream of better days. I mean, try our best to Muddle Thru as best we can.

The a.m. soundtrack - The Ronettes' - "The Best of the Ronettes - Original Phil Spector Hits."  (1957-1968). Fabulous girl group. Elaborate, "wall of sound" productions. The echo chamber sound, unlike anything else. High-Art doled out in catchy 3 minute pop songs. Yes. Phil Spector, the madman at the controls. Spector is now a totally disgraced figure. A wreck of a human being. What to say? Spector did know how to make great records. His work with the Ronettes, John Lennon & George Harrison was fabulous, the work stands up and speaks for itself. As for the man? Yikes. Off the rails. So there's that human dichotomy again. The dark and the light. The destroyer/creator.  All in one elaborate fright-wig package.

THE REVOLUTION IS HERE. NOW.

The Revolution is Here. 

It came to us via a nasty viral entity. The virus went viral, and everything changed.  One of my favorite maxims: "A Change of Consciousness Can Happen in An Instant." Turns out that when folks realized that a nasty viral entity was now everywhere, a Change of Consciousness was in the air.

What did the new Revolution teach us?

Borders and walls are meaningless. Nations and Governments are only valid and relevant if they can take care of people! Guns, ammo, bullets are totally irrelevant.

Race & class are beside the point. The color of your skin is irrelevant. Your investment portfolio is irrelevant and shrinking.

Biology and Science are pushed to the forefront. Turns out facts, data, & reality really do count. Political spin, lies, propaganda, disinformation evaporate in the face of the cold hard reality of disease.

We are (as the Dalai Lama always told us), Human Beings First. We are all the same. We are all connected, via invisible strings. We are all responsible to each other. We all have a responsibility to care for ourselves, for our planet, our environment, and for each other.

Turns out Capitalism is a figment of our imaginations. We really can print up money and give it to everyone. No one need go without, no one need be left behind, no one need go hungry, no one need to lack a safe place to shelter. No one need be denied quality healthcare.

We are not in a competition with each other, we are engaged in a vast interdependent cooperation agreement with each other.

We are all safe and healthy if and when we are all safe and healthy.

Most of us are "non-essential personnel." Maybe only essential to ourselves and our loved ones.

Essential Personnel = First-responders, Nurses, Doctors, Care-givers, Teachers, Health-Care workers, Scientists. These are the essential ones. These are the ones we turn to for help, for counsel, for care.

We can live with less, and in a more sustainable way. We can live more responsibly. Instead of mindless consumption, mindful contemplation.

THE REVOLUTION IS HERE. NOW.

The a.m. soundtrack - King Crimson's "In the Court of the Crimson King."  I guess I have "progressive" politics on my mind. Makes me think of the great "progressive" rock of King Crimson. The brain-child of Robert Fripp, one of the great British guitarists. This record takes you to another land, far away. Exquisite musicianship; the players venture to the far reaches of expert proficiency. The first song gets a bit frenetic, the rest of the album sort of washes over you with softer, mellower vibes. Greg Lake has such a fabulous voice, rounded, grounded tones. "I talk to the wind..." Excellent record all around. As they say, "a classic."

Biology. It is a Hard Master.

Biology. It is a Hard Master.

Cells. Dividing. Multiplying. RNA. DNA. Enzymes. Proteins. Hostile Viral Entities.

We sometimes forget, or try to forget where we came from. Sperm and Egg meet. There is a process. A Trajectory of Life. It is all beyond our control. We emerge from the process, and are carried along by the process.

Born. Live. Die. Life & Death; two sides of the same coin. The Coin of the Realm.

We sometimes take good health for granted: These eyes, these ears, these limbs, these organs, all our fingers and toes, our beloved brains, all working together, an elaborate, collaborative team.

We think we are the world. We reflect and mirror the world. Everything we can imagine, everything we experience,  everything that we do, or don't do, fills up our days.

Biology. It is a hard master.

The a.m. soundtrack - Black Flag's "The Process of Weeding Out." (1985). Pretty sure I purchased this CD in the late 80's because of the cover. That horned-being behind the microscope piqued my curiosity. The word "Instrumental" on the cover was intriguing & appealing too. I had no idea what to expect. It is a hard, stripped down sound. Guitar, bass, drums. No frills. Basically an EP, 26 minutes, 28 seconds. Avant garde jazzy, crossed with elemental r&r fire. I mean, I am just grasping for words. Hard, spiky, wiry, a bit elastic. It is unlike any other record I've ever owned. Militant. Black Flag. A hard master too.

Normal?!

The global pandemic. It dominates the news. It is everywhere. Reports this morning tell us that Covid-19 is in our town, it's in D.C., it's in every state of the Union. It is already in a theater near you.

It is definitely a blockbuster. An unwelcome blockbuster.  Yesterday afternoon we listened to a Global Pandemic Expert. She was totally pissed off, and alarmed, and alarming. I won't repeat her dire warnings, but let's just say they were extremely, extremely dire. I am not one for panicking, but a little flame of panic rose up in my being.

I think the source of her "pissed-off-ness" is that we all should have been much better prepared for this inevitable event. The experts have known that a global pandemic like this was coming for a long time and we could have, no, scratch that, we should have been well-prepared for it.

We aren't. And our Toxic Clown President has been pretty clueless and toxic throughout the unfolding crisis. Every time he opens his mouth more stupidity and disinformation pours out. You couldn't have picked a worse, less qualified, supremely incapable person to be at the head of our government. Yikes. We have a crisis of leadership too.

This morning, what do do? Trying to "act normal." Find a level of normalcy. What is normal? It's pretty much an illusion, a bubble, but we are doing our best not to panic, not to go too dark, not to be too discouraged.

We hear on the radio that tonight the Spring Equinox will arrive! Spring is coming! There will be new roots, new flowers, new life. Birds, bees, buds on the trees. Remember to smile, to laugh, to dream.

The morning soundtrack - The Kink's "The Kinks Are the Village Green Preservation Society" (1968). So British. Ray Davies at his best. Ray called it "the most successful ever flop." It is a magnificent flop.  A brilliant record: "I miss the village green, and all the simple people" - Ray Davies. Yes, a look back to simpler, greener times. Trying to hold onto a grace, intelligence, innocence. Maybe it's only alive in our hearts and heads. That will have to do. This one makes me smile every time I spin it on the box.

"Keep Calm. Carry On."

"Keep Calm, Carry On" - "Commonly featured on posters, clothing, novelty items, and internet memes, keep calm and carry on is a popular slogan calling for persistence in the face of challenge. It was first used on a British propaganda poster during World War II but now enjoys general currency as an expression of resilience."

Right. You know, that "stiff upper lip" idea might come in handy right about now.

Latest word is this coronavirus is gonna alter our lives for a long time. Social Distancing. Isolation. Quarantine. Lockdown. For many of us, our lives are going to get very small and circumscribed.

The Federal Reserve is printing up money. Word is they will be flooding the economic system with "Trillions of Dollars." A reminder that money is a fungible, abstract thing that we all live and die by. It's not "real," or only as real as we imagine it to be. The Fed can just conjure up money. Add a bunch of 0's to a sum. Pretty much creating something out of thin air. Something from nothing?! Who ever said it couldn't be done?

Personally, I think the hardest cut is no live shows for our band for the foreseeable future. It is something that we lived for, a driving imperative. Every day. Where do we play next, when is the next show, what songs will we do, I wonder who will show up?

All that has vanished. Sometimes the show just won't go on. You find out pretty quickly what is essential, and what is not essential. The essential list is pretty compact: survive, stay well, eat, sleep, dream, keep yourself occupied.

What's important? Breathe.

The a.m. soundtrack - Dead Can Dance's "Aion" (1990). Medieval. The album cover is a detail from a painting by Hieronymous Bosch. Sets the tone.  Music from the 14th, 16th & 17th century.  Lisa Gerrard's voice is an incredibly beautiful, expressive instrument. The music is otherworldly, sacred. It's not r&r. Instruments include the hurdy-gurdy, bagpipes, an array of percussion instruments, strings, keyboards. Some of these songs sound absolutely sacred to my ears. You think of plague, and dark times, and voices, naked, human voices reaching up to the heavens, beseeching, praying, wondering. Life, it is a mystery.

Uncertainties & Probabilities...

The Fickle Finger of Fate.

Luck. Good luck. Bad luck. Biology. Randomness. Accidents.

It's hard to get your head around the idea that so much of our lives are arbitrary, subject to the whims of the Universe. The scientists spin a yarn about how the Universe started with a Big Bang and the whole thing became a long unfolding.

Subtract Gods and Demons, and you have a place of uncertainties & probabilities. Welcome to the Funhouse.

The a.m. soundtrack - Joy Division's "Closer." (1980). Hermetic. Recorded at Pink Floyd's Britannia Row studios in the middle of the night. Sounds like it was recorded in a void. Maybe we are all really just inside a hushed, sealed chamber in Martin Hannett's head?  Hannett is just as much the artist here as is the young, totally unique and distinctive band. There is a hollow, ghostly clarity to the music. Such a great, incredibly focused band. Peter Hook is one of our greatest bass players, many of his riffs became the signature instrument in many of the songs. He plays bass unlike anyone else. And of course, Stephen Morris is a fantastic drummer. Hannett worked hard on a very dry, totally pristine and mannered drum-sound. It is an "Uneasy Listening" record. A perfect soundtrack for those of us in the middle of a plague. The second and last Joy Division album, it was released two months after lead singer Ian Curtiss committed suicide. Curtiss sounds like a man in great distress. Totally on fire. Aflame. The record is an austere masterpiece. Knowing what we know, a bit morbid.  Ian Curtiss was such a young, sensitive soul. A super-intense artist. Everything seemed to weigh him down like a ton of bricks. Guilt. Shame. Anger. Clear vision. Clairvoyance. Not easy to listen to, hard to forget. A great record.

The Process of Stripping Down...

The process of stripping down...

Living in the shadow of coronavirus. What's important?

Survive.
Stay healthy.
Stay home.
Eat well.
Sleep well.
Keep moving.
Read.
Listen to music.
Make music.
Keep clean.
Wash hands, frequently.
Count your pennies.
Laugh.
Pray.
Dream.
Stay clued in.
Listen to NPR.
Stream Netflix & Prime.
Write.
Play guitar.
Write new songs.
Tell the people you Love, that you Love them.
Encourage everyone you know to keep safe.
Social Distance yourself.
Physical Distance yourself.
Stock up on essential supplies.
Don't forget Coffee beans.
Take long walks to the lakefront.
Stay away from other people.
No hand-shaking, kissing, hugging.
Lots of bowing: "Namaste... I bow to the Divine in You."
Meditate. Religiously.

The a.m. soundtrack - John Cale's "Eat/Kiss - Music for the Films of Andy Warhol"  (1997). Moody. Fascinating. John Cale truly stretches out, shows his incredible range as a composer. Cale plays keyboards, he conducts a string quartet. There are voices, creating moods, colors, textures. Music for those intimate moments. Cale at his creative best, background music, stands up. Dark. Exotic. Evocative. Cool.

Healing Vibes!

Yes. The coronavirus. A very nasty virus, a wicked beauty...

We "grounded" ourselves yesterday. Doing our best to be "socially distant." It's all a bit weird and surreal. Living with a the looming global pandemic. It is here. So strange to walk to the lakefront. The streets were quiet. Not many folks out and about. We watched the waves crashing into the shore. The wind was whipping. Hard little snow crystals pelted our bodies and faces.

Back at our apartment, we filled our time up with music. When my partner played DJ it was all Chet Baker ("Let's Get Lost") and Billie Holiday ("Verve 12 Jazz Masters"). When I played DJ it was Shye Ben Tzur, Johnny Greenwood and The Rajasthan Express ("Junun") and The Rolling Stones ("Aftermath"). It made quite an impressive sonic stew. Our choices seemed significant, important. Filling our heads and hearts with uncommon vibrations. 

Earlier in the day, I had visited a friend and client. We bowed to each other. "Namaste!" "I bow to the Divine in you!" No hugging or hand-shaking, and we stayed a good distance apart as we conversed. She had recently traveled to Nepal. She had made it overseas and back hale and healthy, avoiding the virus. On her trip, she had purchased a number of Nepalese "healing/singing" bowls. These elaborate, hand-crafted metal bowls are made from 9 different metals. They come with a special little pillow to rest upon, and two different mallets. The idea is, you strike the bowl with the mallets and vibrations ring out and provide a wave of healing. She gifted me one of the bowls.

I brought it home. We set it up in the living room and took turns striking it. My partner and I could  feel the vibrations traveling thru all the channels and nerve-ending of our bodies. The bowl vibrated for an incredibly long time. A subtle, powerful hum reverberated in the room and in our bodies.

Made us feel better. Seemed to light up every cell in our bodies. Is it all illusion? All these "invisible" things. Changing our lives. Moment by moment. So strange, so weird, so surreal. Maybe it has always been so? 

The a.m. soundtrack - The National's "I Am Easy To Find" (2019). A joyous, majestic, blast of Art. This one is a bit different. Same great band, fabulous musicianship, but lead singer Matt Berninger shares vocal duties with a number of female vocalists and the Brooklyn Youth Chorus. A stand-out.  It all works brilliantly. A beautiful work of High Art. The album is just the finest stuff imaginable. Breath-taking. Heart-breaking beauty.  Life-affirming. Fabulous, healing, vibes. Music-making at it's best.

The Responsibility of Being Responsible.

"I don't take any responsibility at all."

Remember those words. They define a Presidency. Tattoo that on his forehead, chisel it into his future tombstone.

Hah. That's our Toxic Clown President, doing what he does best, doing his best to avoid any responsibility for anything. It's been a life-long quest with him. A long record of failure, stupidity, bluffing, huffing & puffing, lies, cons, predatory exploitation.  This man has an incredibly damaging personality flaw. He is probably the last man on the planet you'd want to be managing a crisis, any freaking crisis.

I actually listened to his whole "national emergency" press conference yesterday afternoon. I was laying on the kitchen floor. The cool floor tiles keeping me conscious. Listening to the Toxic Clown's words was worse than plunging an ice-pick into my forehead. Why did I listen? Maybe I am a bit masochistic. I think I am gonna blame it on the my Catholic upbringing. I think of punishment, guilt, shame, sin. I think of our shared Humanity, and our responsibility to all living things.

I wanted to directly experience the deep dysfunction and the mental anguish our Fear-inducing leader inflicts on the nation on a daily basis. We are truly being ruled/guided by Toxic Idiots. I wonder how that all works out?! Living with the Plague. I think of that Existentialist idea - we are all responsible, for everything, every little and big thing. The things we can control, and those we can't. Always, forever, responsible.

I finally did have to laugh.  Gallows humor. All the lackeys and minions who surrounded the Toxic Clown President slavishly lavished him with creepy, over the top praise and gaudy words.  You couldn't write that shit down with a straight face.

We are on our own.  Best to lay low. Wash your hands. Social distance. Dream of better days. That's pretty much what all the experts recommend. We have to take responsibility of being responsible.

The a.m. soundtrack - Spiritualized's "Pure Phase." (1995). What a great band name. This record was a bargain bin find. $2.99 used CD at Reckless Records. It's noisy, cacophonous. Builds to crazy-ass crescendos through-out. Melodious too. There is noise and beauty. Rides easily on the sound-system. It kind of hovers, and hangs and peters out and fades away at the end. You kind of hope that is what happens to Covid-19. Not counting on it...

A Hard Dystopia.

The problem with being, aware, awake, alive, being always "clued in," you are subjected to all the elements, all the hurly-burly & turmoil. You wear it all like a cloak, you carry it in your head and heart.

Yesterday, I heard from a long-time friend, who lives overseas, in Poland. We had a long, rambling, phone conversation. My friend is in a "dark mood," he is thinking along the lines of "Road Warrior," a hard dystopian existence, where the thin social/political fabric comes undone and folks are left to fend for themselves. A process of stripping things down to the basics, "How do I survive?" "How can I protect my family?" My friend lives closer to the land than I do. He is a hunter. He keeps his hunting rifle close.

 It is amazing that a little biological entity, a biological virus - "A virus consists of genetic material, which may be either DNA or RNA, and is surrounded by a protein coat and, in some viruses, by a membranous envelope," could so quickly bring down our social/political structures. But, I don't think my friend is wrong. I am a little less dark, I still live in a little bubble of naivety, and maybe I still harbor a spark of hope that we can pull through this crisis and dream of better days.

But I also realize I may be looking through rosy glasses. I may be wrong.

I have no faith in our Toxic Clown President. I do think our government is clunky, our healthcare system is great for rich people, not so great for everyone else, our democracy is inefficient, and will be stressed, the economic system is teetering, and could come crashing down.  That is some powerful biological entity, don't you think?

How resilient can we all be? How do we make it if the money stops flowing? How long can we hold out when everything comes to a halt? How do we pay the rent? Keep the lights on?

It is all a bit surreal too. The threat is invisible. The sun is shining. A mild day today. Everything seems normal. Except it's all madness on the radio, in the financial market, and at the supermarket too. Folks are canceling concerts, sporting events, parades, theater shows, closing Disneyland. Yikes.

This morning I start with an inventory - fingers and toes still working, no sniffles, breathing free and easy. Relatively healthy today. We will be washing our hands regularly. We have instituted a policy of no hand-shaking, no hugging, lots of social distancing. We canceled a r&r show that was scheduled for tomorrow. It was hard to do, it hurt a bit to cancel, but we just didn't want to put anyone at risk.

These are hard, strange times. For sure. What's gonna happen? I don't think anyone really knows...

The a.m. soundtrack - Pink Floyd's "Animals." (1977). The perfect soundtrack for a hard dystopia. This one is loosely based on George Orwell's "Animal Farm." Humans are divided up into "predatory" Dogs, "despotic, ruthless" Pigs, & "mindless, unquestioning" Sheep. Dark. Ugly. The record is great. It opens & closes with Roger Water's bare voice, and his acoustic guitar. Stark. There are great moments for David Gilmour too, especially on "Dogs." No one paints a better dystopian picture than Roger Waters. A hard, brilliant intelligence. The only other singer/songwriter I think even comes close would be Thom Yorke of Radiohead.  Sometimes the dark stuff sounds just right.

Less. I guess.

So it looks like the "Looming" Global Pandemic is no longer looming, it is, in fact, here.

Don't listen to our Toxic Clown President. He just seems be making it all worse. Best to tune that idiot out!

What is a humble pilgrim supposed to do?

Less. I guess. Wash your hands. Social distance yourself. The dominoes are falling, the world is spinning, markets are crashing, folks are canceling plans.

I am (to quote Dylan), "Praying the pieces don't fall on me."

I am still reading William Gibson's "All Tomorrow's Parties."  It does seem so smart, almost clairvoyant, (it was written before 9/11),  it's all about some unnamed change, some cataclysmic event, a grand turning where the old world dies and something new arrives.  I wonder...

Some of the lines from the book seem to come at me as precise, personal messages. I take them out of the context of the book, and place them squarely in the context of my present existence.  For instance:

"Don't anticipate outcome... Await the unfolding of events. Remain in the moment."

Right. Roger that.

The a.m. soundtrack - Sigur Ros' "Takk..." (2005). A gift. This one came to me as a gift from an amazing meditation teacher. She is an extraordinary woman, a visual artist, a vibrant soul. She knew I was a great fan of the band, and one day, out of the blue, she gifted me with this record. It starts with a hush and builds to a massive crescendo. A very dynamic record from hush to crash. Another great record where the vocals are in a foreign language. It is the language of vibe, of music, of ethereal sound. The music washes over you. You don't need to figure it out, you just let it engulf you. You live inside these vibrations. It's like finding a secret garden, a sanctuary of vibes.

Sleepy Joe, the Wise Elder.

Reassuring.

Sleepy Joe Biden. He represents the Nation's Calm Center. He is an old man. Really up there, but you know, he is experienced and a decent, honorable, honest and trust-worthy man. A long-time public servant, one who seems perfectly cast to serve the public.

Let's recast it: Sleepy Joe is a Wise Elder, and Elder Statesman. Someone to look to for guidance.
It would be a welcome change to have a President who is responsible, intelligent, capable, common-sensical. A healer. Maybe folks remember fondly that Joe Biden stood side by side with Barack Obama for 8 years. Remember when decent human beings worked in the White House? Seems like another time and place. And, well, it's true. We have been living in a harder, uglier place with our Toxic Clown President these last few years. Yikes!

Looks like Bernie Sander's "Revolution" will not be televised. The numbers just don't add up. Another wise elder. A fount of integrity and good ideas. Bernie didn't catch fire like he and many others thought he would. Politics is a hard, weird game.

Numbers. It does come down to numbers. Looks like Sleepy Joe is the one. Fine with me. Blue Wave 2020.

The a.m. soundtrack - D'Angelo's "Black Messiah."  (2014). How to describe this record? Slinky, slippery, groovy, funky, soulful, beautiful, sexy, hard to hold, like sonic quicksilver. Definitely reminds me of Sly Stone and his great record "There's a Riot Going On." But it's all got its own vibe too. Gorgeous Art/Funk/Soul. I don't believe in no Messiah coming to save us, but I do believe in art, soul, music and D'Angelo. The real thing. Reassuring.

Improvising a Life.

Long-form improvisation...

That's life right?! We are constantly confronted with uncertainty, calamity, mystery, strange cul de sacs, wrong turns, unintended consequences, mistakes, misjudgments, thudding failures, misperceptions, delusions, bubbles popped, dreams deferred, or dreams squashed into oblivion like an army of ants on the sidewalk.

What to do?

We say, "Yes, and..." We keep the game going. We wing it. We make it up as we go. We live by smoke and mirrors. We try to defy gravity. We dance and evade, and duck, and run for cover. Flee. We flee, often from one place to another, and back again. We are the little people, the common people, you know the ones who stuff happens to. If there are consequences for major cataclysmic events, we are the ones who will suffer "the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune."

But, fuck it, we carry on, damn the torpedoes.

What of plans? Yikes. Sorry. No plans, "We don't have no stinking plans." We are just living in the moment. Living on a hope and a prayer. This breath, this blink of an eye. Alive. Improvising a life.

The a.m. soundtrack - Robyn Hitchcock's "I Often Dream of Trains." (1984). An odd, uncommonly beautiful beast of a record. Hitchcock name-checks Dylan and Syd Barrett as primary influences. Makes sense. The record starts with a gorgeous, moody piano piece. Most of the record is stripped down & acoustic. There are even a couple crazy-funny a cappella numbers. Lots of humor in the grooves. An uncommon intelligence and wit at work. I think Robyn was winging it, and not giving a damn, just letting it flow. Which really works. A freaky, funny, uncommon gem.