whitewolfsonicprincess' 2nd single Child of the Revolution

Monday, January 13, 2025

We Find Purpose and Value In Our Lives...


Yes. Reading. I recommend it. It is very cold here in the Heartland. Darkness predominates. Brief sunlight hours framed by deep, long hours of pure, black, darkness. There's a darkness on the edge of town. Lots of time to read. I recently grabbed an old book (I read it a long time ago, a different me, a different time, I decided to re-read it, and, well, it's like I am reading it for the first time all over again, as they say you can't enter the same river twice. You are different, the river too),  off the shelf and totally fell into another world. A slim, old, sort of browning, paperback. A book published in 1971. "Grendel" by John Gardner.

Gardner reimagines the Beowolf epic poem as a narrative told from the monster's perspective. Ha. While reading the book I did a little research, and turns out that Gardner's Grendel is based on the philosopher, and famous writer, playwright, Existentialist Jean Paul Sartre. I had no idea. Much of Grendel's internal monologue actually uses many of Sartre's own words and ideas.

That just tickles my fancy.  

Yes. It is great little book. Funny, engaging. Maybe I am misreading it, and that's okay. All of my sympathies are with Grendel, the blood-thirsty monster who terrorizes the Humans.  The monster on the edge of town. The Humans seem so silly, with their games of violence, their visions of god, their heroism, and goofy tales of derring-do. If Gardner wrote the book to refute, or toy with, and ultimately kill-off Sartre, well, he does, but for me, there is sympathy for the devils: Grendel & Sartre are the flawed anti-heroes of this saga that speak direclty to me and my very human condition.

So yeah, I suppose I am totally in-line with Sartre, and I see a lot of myself in the gnarly, unruly, murderous Grendel too. I mean, not so much the murderous part, or the eating of humans part, I am a  vegetarian don't you know, but, a monster with a dark sense of humor, always on the margins, doesn't fit in anywhere, a born outsider, left on his own, always observing, and trying to make sense and meaning out of Life, and the things in the world.? Yeah. That totally rings a bell. Grendel is alone. A stranger in a strange land. Often bored. Looking for drama, for meaning, for purpose. Seems so familiar. Grendel is questioning everything. I can certainly relate. 

Supposedly, "Gardner, a strong believer in traditional values and the importance of community, found Sartre's emphasis on individual freedom and the inherent meaninglessness of existence to be deeply unsettling and ultimately destructive."

Ah, but, for me, Grendel is the most compelling figure in the book, and the one I can most easily identify with, even if he is a monster who likes to terrorize, to taunt, to haunt, & to eat Humans.  His doubts, uncertainties, and frailties are mine too. And of course, Sartre's Existentialism totally resonates with me:  "Existentialism, while recognizing the absence of pre-ordained meaning, actively encourages individuals to find purpose and value in their own lives. It's a philosophy of action and engagement, not passive acceptance of meaninglessness."

Exactly. Anyway. A fabulous novel of ideas, and of action too. A slim volume that asks all the big questions, but does it with humor, grace, heart, vivid, beautiful, poetic, language and imagination. Makes the dark hours fly by, and seems totally important too...

"The wall will fall to the wind as the windy hill will fall, and all things taught in former times: nothing made remains nor man remembers. And these towns shall be called the shining towns." - John Gardner

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