Faux Fu

Monday, October 19, 2020

The Long and Winding Road...

Well, well, well...

Still here. It's been a "long and winding road." Suddenly, Sir Paul's sappy song seems just about right. There have been twists and turns, lots of cul-de-sacs, dead-ends, false starts, wrong turns. Pretty much nothing has turned out the way I thought it would turn out. Although, really, I've never been very good at making plans, so I can't really say my plans have been foiled. My life has been more of a case of feeling my way in the dark, living in a cloud, carrying on a sort of groggy, foggy existence.

I still have my Mojo...

There's that. I can still conjure up a dream. I do like to entertain and to chase dreams. The coffee still does it's thing. All "my parts" seem to be working.  I know some amazingly, cool & beautiful people; some I'm related to, and some I'm not.

I can get excited and enthused about the silliest things. I can easily get lost in a book or song or idea. I am the optimistic, hopeful sort. I'm also a bit argumentative, and recalcitrant. If I were to characterize my character, I'd say: "Love's to do what He Loves to do. Won't do what he doesn't want to do. Does not like to be told what to do. Works with others as long as they want to work with him. Otherwise, he'd rather be on his own." Not exactly an over-achiever.

I was a happy kid. Spent lots of time alone. I always enjoyed it. I carry that spirit, that Mojo, even today. I can live inside my head for long stretches. Entertain myself. I love to browse bookstores and record shops. I own tons of books, cds, vinyl records. There is a story to be told in the books and records I have lived with over these many years.

I am a life-long Democrat. A Liberal. Although, now we say Progressive. I live in a Progressive, Blue-Bubble, in one of the Bluest of Blue Bubbles in the USA. I am happy to be here. I do think I can see clearly. I spend lots of time making sure I am clear-headed, seeing the world as it is. I know I have biases. I do my best to be common-sensical, practical, gentle, kind and empathetic. I am getting better at being able to say, "I don't know." And, "Well, maybe I'm wrong." I am pretty sure that all knowledge is partial. And it's best to tackle pretty much anything with "Beginner's Mind." Starting with the idea that "I know nothing!"

I am a long-time meditator. I am a long-time vegetarian. I walk and bike nearly every day. I am a sometime musician, writer, actor, director, performance-artist. Most of my work has been on the margins. The margins of the margins. Marginal. That is my creative life. I have made $, spent $, and somehow, some way, (maybe it's just smoke and mirrors), I have been able to keep going.

Living on a wing and a prayer. Starting most days with the question: I wonder what today will bring?

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