Faux Fu

Friday, January 05, 2018

Why is Fatboy So Fat?!


Salacious Gossip: "Implying a certain kind of moral looseness, salacious is often used to describe nasty gossip, obscene reports and steamy tales. Salacious things are usually not fit for general public consumption and probably need some kind of parental guidance warning. Think of the tawdry accounts of some politician's affair with a staffer, or a particularly sex-filled reality show on TV."

Hey, this might not be the most consequential tidbit from Michael Wolff's Fire and Fury, but it might be the funniest. It answers the question, "Why is Fatboy so Fat?"

"According to a new book, Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House, POTUS likes fast food because no one knows he’s going to be there so there’s no chance of anyone tampering with the food."

“He had a longtime fear of being poisoned, one reason why he liked to eat at McDonald’s — nobody knew he was coming and the food was safely premade,” writes author Michael Wolff, revealed in an excerpt of the book published by New York Magazine."


Yes, "fear of being poisoned." Maybe not so crazy. I mean, it's clear that anyone who gets to know this guy, loathes this guy! Karma! So as a remedy the Orange-Headed Idiot is not so slowly poisoning himself with fast-food... perfect!

And the people that do get close to "The Grab Them By the Pussy" President, what do they say about him? Let's play a little game...



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