Faux Fu

Monday, October 29, 2012

No Bond Like the Old Bond

Okay, on the political and social front I'm pretty progressive, but in pop culture I find I'm sometimes a traditionalist.  For instance, in terms of r&r, the Rolling Stones albums "Beggars Banquet," "Let it Bleed," "Stick Fingers" and "Exile on Main Street" pretty much stand as the pinnacle and template for the form.  Nobody's done it better.

And when it comes to listening to music, I still like my big old clunky stereo system with the over-sized speakers, ancient turn-table and CD player.  I love spinning the vinyl and silver discs.  And there's not a better way to listen to music.  And when it comes to guitar amps, give me the old tube technology.  No fancy modeling amps for me.

And when it comes to James Bond.  No contest.  Sean Connery.  End of conversation.  It's the first three Sean Connery Bond films that define the genre: "Dr. No, "From Russia to Love," and "Goldfinger." They are top of the pops. Everything else, all the other attempts, just don't get there.  Sorry.

This is a long way around to mentioning that we saw "Casino Royale" with Daniel Craig over the weekend.  The big old movie machine is furiously trying to get us to buy Craig as the new Bond.  And they are trying to update the old form with lots of splash, glitter, explosions and boom, boom...

Not buying it.  Basically the movie is: See Bond. See Bond run. Run Bond run.  And Craig is a wet noodle, a cold fish.  We were reluctant to see this movie.  But friends had told us it was "not bad."  "Not bad," does not mean good.  And this one is not good.  There's another one coming down the pike.  Adele will be singing the theme song.  I'm sure lots of hype and promotion coming to your neighborhood.  But really, Connery was the man.  Bond is missing in this new incarnation of Bond. And Craig can run but he can't run fast enough for me.  Just saying.

UPDATE: And if I was calling the shots, I'd have the Stones record an album of old, hard-hitting blues songs, with maybe a few classic country tunes thrown in, and maybe a Gospel song or two.   Ditch the originals and go back to some classics. Retro.  That would be an album worth hearing.

And if I was casting Bond now, I'd consider Clive Owen, Daniel Day-Lewis, or maybe the best choice of all Nick Cave.  Perfect debauched gentleman.  I know he's Australian, he's dark, edgy and sort of desiccated around the edges.  And you just know as Bond he'd never, ever, run anywhere. And I would keep the Bond films as "period pieces."  Early sixties.  That's where Bond belongs.  I'd have a series of retro Bonds...  that might be cool.  Certainly cooler than what they are doing now.

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