A Guest, Aghast, A Ghost

First weekend in a while without 'Goodbar,' no expectation, no obligation; not so much a sadness, as an emptiness, an emptiness that will be filled, with...the next thing.

I've been thinking about loyalty (see previous posts), and I hear the beginnings of a monologue in my head: "What am I loyal to? My genetics, my family, my job, my country, my world? Once you get past 'to be alive seems kind of cool,' it all starts to get a little muddled. Put a man on the rack, turn up the electricity, and then see what faith, and what thought, will survive the pain. Pain: no good. Lack of pain: good..."

Lennon once sang, 'god is a concept, by which we measure our pain,' Dylan once sang, 'it's all right Ma, I'm only bleeding,' Buddha: 'life is suffering.' I guess if you start out with low expectations, any joy, any happiness seems like a bonus.

Anthony Burgess: a man's life --- a guest (born), aghast (lives), a ghost (dies). Lennon again: 'A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.' Dylan again: 'I'll let you be in my dream if I can be in yours.'