My challenge has been to keep my feet on the ground. To "stay in my body." To seize the day. To apply myself to tasks I don't want to apply myself to. To venture outside that comfortable zone in my head.
I am very good at getting excited about something, and then obsessively pursuing it. I am not so good at doing things I don't want to do.
When I was much younger, I was a totally stubborn, recalcitrant, procrastinator. I did not like to be told what to do. I was a terrible student, I only liked the subjects I liked, I did not apply myself, did not put my "nose to the grindstone," did not want to do hard things. I only excelled at things I happened to love to do, like playing guitar and reading and writing.
When I was younger I did not "play well with others." Later in life, especially in the theatrical and musical worlds, I have excelled at acting, playing and collaborating with others.
I slowly learned to apply myself to everything I do. Even, and especially, to the simple mundane chores:
mopping the floor
picking up my socks
washing the dishes
taking out the garbage
walking the dog
applying myself to things I don't want to do.
I adopted a sort of Zen attitude. Be one with the mop, be one with the doggie bag; always take one step, one step at a time. Take care in everything you do. Be alive, aware, awake at all times.
A great insight: Do the hard things first:
write that difficult letter
make that uncomfortable phone call
have that "come to Jesus" conversation
address that thorny emotional or psychological issue
Don't hesitate. Don't complain. Just do it. Now.
What's the line from the Tarot? "Walk the mystical path on practical feet."
Yes. That's it. Exactly.
The a.m soundtrack - Ry Cooder's "Paris, Texas - Original Motion Picture Soundtrack" (1984). Fabulous. Just received this one in the post yesterday. Mostly instrumental. Ghostly, meandering. Gorgeous slide guitar. Loose. Funky. Cool. A sound totally open and wide. With David Lindley and Jim Dickenson. The soundtrack to Wim Wenders great film. Screenplay written by Sam Shepard. Starring Harry Dean Stanton and Nastassja Kinski. It is amazing it took this long for me to buy this record. So good. I saw and loved the film when it was released in the 80's. What's funny, on one track, Harry Dean is reciting a monologue with Ry backing him up. It's a monologue that I learned and performed in a student film in the mid-90's. Freaky cool to hear Harry do it now. Secret words I memorized and have held close to my heart, all these many years. It's like revisiting an old forgotten dream. I am so connected to this record. It's in my bones. Embedded in my DNA. A story of a drifter. A story of dislocation, and escape, and an uncomprehending, stupefied, wonder. The soundtrack captures all that in the grooves. And yes, I can totally relate.
