Hanging Out with Other Human Beings...

Being sociable. That has been the theme the last few days. Hanging out with other Human Beings. Usually when my partner and I are around folks, we are on stage, performers performing for an audience, playing music with our band. The conversations before & aftewards are usually short & sweet. This holiday season, there has been no performing, just socializing: eating, talking, hanging out. Family & community. It has been a great, instructive reminder that Human Beings are social animals. We need the interaction, & communication to keep our heads in the game. Most of the folks we met and chatted with reside on the creative side of things: painters, poets, musicians, writers, DJs, teachers, gardeners. Our tribe. There is Hope in the tribe; everyone intent on keeping their heads, working on projects, living well-rounded, enriching lives. We all basically tuned out the looming dystopia. Sure, the horrow-show government, the fascists & bullies, hung over us like black, toxic-clouds, but we turned away, talked about music, & music-making, art, literature. It was all quite inspiring. The folk are doing their best to get through to next possibilities. Hopefully, maybe a better way, a better day ahead. We all wondered a little about what that could be, but the focus was on the next song, the next book, the next meal, the next good story.

Towards Better Human Interaction...

We have spent the last few days being sociable with our fellow human beings. That's the gist of the holiday season. A simple rule for better human interaction? Lead with smiles & kindness. Most likely you will get the same in return. Not always. There are those decidedly grumpy, surly, grouchy, pessimists in the crowd. You can steer away. Or look on them from a healthy distance with a dollop of amusement. It can be a form of entertainment, successfully navigating the black holes of the soul. Those black holes will swallow you up. I flashed on the "Power of Postive Thinking," during the holiday festivities. It's a tool, a useful & helpful one, as long as it's grounded in the real, and also being aware that there are limits. Postive thinking can change your body, your chemistry, just by conjuring up & flooding your brain with positive thoughts. It's true. Science backs it up. And that positivity can be extended to others. Not as a con, a hustle, a grift. Not with the intention of gaining the upper hand. Being positive just for the fuck of it is a good thing. Still, you don't want to over-do it either. There is a concept known as Toxic Positivity - the excessive and ineffective overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state across all situations, dismissing or invalidating genuinely negative emotions like sadness, anger, or fear, even in difficult circumstances. Right. Dealing with human beings, you have to account for all valid thoughts & emotions. It's complicated, and a disciplined way forward. Still, leaning to the Light is definitely fun, fulfilling, and very likely joy-making!

Sometimes, "I don't know, " is just Fine...

Folk #1: What is the meaning of all of this shite? You may think that a simple, clear declaration: "I don't know," might be a retreat, an abdication, a giving up, a turning away, a hiding inside the cloud of unknowing, and well, maybe so. So be it. At the same time, to say those words feels like a liberation, a relief, a little burst of joy, a way forward, a ripple of humility, an acknowledgement of the fundamental reality of the mysteries we swim in. Not having an opinion, or making a guess? Maybe that is just a disciplined mind? I mean, I know, that the human world we've constructed seems totally fucked up and confusing at the moment, things seem to be careening out of control, but I am ok with not having any answers about what that means, or why that is the case. Maybe there is no explanation, at least no good one, you know, maybe it's just all too much. Searching for meaning and answers in the shite?  What is the point? What is happening & why? Who knows?! Maybe the asking is a fool's game? No reason to think that one simple human being needs to have all, or any, of the answers at the ready. And, you know, often these simple "explanations," guesses, opinions are just muddying the waters. Not enlightening at all. So, yeah, living with "I don't know," right now, seems just fine. Pitch-Perfect. It's ok to just sit back and observe. As Dylan sings, "Watching the river flow..." Living with the "I don't know," the simple ambiguity of a life, is fine. It is fascinating to watch it all unfold.  Fills one with wonder. The not knowing what to say or think, in the face all the shite, seems oh so right, and surprisingly a certain freedom bubbles up & blossoms.

Lean into the Weirdness...

Yes. Things are weird. And getting weirder. That seems to be true. Human Beings are flailing, failing, unhinged. A long winding road of significant events seem to have broken our brains. Quick hit-list: 9/11, Iraq War, Afghanistan War, Bush/Cheney Torture Regime, 2007 Financial Crash, Hurricane Katrina, Electing a 1/2 Black/White Man for President in 2008, the Blacklash, Resurgence of White Supremacy, Trump I, Social Media Madness, Covid Pandemic, Lockdown, Mandates, Sleepy Joe, Greed-flation, Trump II, the Fascist Idiot Era, AI frenzy. Oh yeah, and the bleeding phones. Smart-phones. Broke Our Brains. We are all driving each other nuts. What's the remedy? Not sure. 

Tune out once in awhile? Sit back and watch the show? Maybe accepting the weirdness goes into the equation of healing? Still, it seems the weirdness transcends the healing. I suppose we are watching the disintegration of the world as we once understood it. Maybe this overwhelming weirdness is a reminder that we never really understood Life anyway. Maybe there is no true understanding, only experiencing. Life is bigger than all of us. It includes the darkness & chaos. And there are forces that transcend the human realm. Mystery. Like a black cloud hovering around everything, always dancing with the Light. There is no center to hold, there is no going back. Regenerate, Remake, Renew, Revive. Doing our best to thrive in the face of the unknowable. Lean into the weirdness. 

USA: We are all Complict in the Atrocities...

The TV news show Sixty Minutes spiked their segment about Trump's concentration camp in El Salvador. It aired in Canada, and folks are sharing it on the internet.

The mind reels from the horror of what America has become. You want to reach out for simplicity, a razor-sharp clarity, thinking it will help you cope. You hope you are not being simple-minded: We are all complicit in the atrocities committed in our names. We are all complicit in the Trump Adminstration's crimes against humanity.

Everything else is noise. That is the bottom line. A dark stain on our country and it's citizenry. As that Dylan song tells us: "Bury the rag deep in your face, now is the time for your tears."

Sometimes Chaos is My MIddle Name...

Folk #1: Sometimes I do think chaos is my middle name. I wonder, am I the source, the channel, the generator or receiver, or the conductor of the chaos? I am not thinking of major, catastrophic, chaos, no, more like little, tiny, moments of micro-chaos built into the smallest of actions & thoughts. I can be orderly & disciplined, I enjoy & cultivate my silences & quiet times, I love working in the calm before the storm times, setting up a theater space or a performance space, arranging the deck chairs, running the cables, placing the microphone stands in just the right place, setting the lights, conjuring up a mood & a positive, beautiful vibe. But then fill that space with a rambunctious crowd of human beings in close quarters, with friendly noise, and chatter, and  the power of electricty animating everything, drinks flowing, a soft buzzing in the air, anticipation & expectation floating above us, things happen. Unsourced feedback, a drop of sweat in the corner of an eye, an imprecise instrument, a cable fail, a weird noise from some unknown location, a tiny almost imperceptible tuning issue, being slightly sharp or flat, a surprising demand or comment from an innocent, a dropped guitar pick, a teetering,  a nearly tripping & falling, a hint of mortality, a surge of energy running through the cells of my body; funny, unconnected thoughts, words falling from my lips in surprising ways, my head suddenly swimming, uncommon feelings of being unmoored, uncomfortable. Conducting moments of chaos, trying to corral & tame things, but watching, listening, experiencing the awesome powerlessness alive in every tiny moment.

Trying Their Best to Redact, and Deep-Six, the Truth...

Does Trump and his very corrupt DOJ think the American people are that stupid? Probably so. Trump's success is based on his own voters deep, in the bone, stupidity. Turns out lots of redacting going on in the partial, minimal, woefully inadequate release of the Jeffery Epstein files. We were supposed to get everything. Nope. Funny how references to Epstein's BEST BUDDY have been deep-sixed. Not sure this will satisfy all the inquiring minds who want to know the names of all the perpetrators. Hmmm... What are they hiding? Who are they protecting? Fuck. Haven't they learned anything? The Coverup just becomes the next phase of the scandal. We are there.

The Terrible Ones are Ascendant...

Terrible people doing terrible things...

A simple shorthand for a deep understanding of "what's happening," right now, in pretty much every realm of our lives. As they say, "the vibes are bad." The Folk seem unhappy, crabby, out of sorts, conspiracy-minded, unhinged, untethered. Nothing seems to be clicking, everything seems to be careening forward like a driveless vehicle out of control, and over a cliff. Even basic public health, rudimentary common sense, is under assault. What is a good Pilgrim to say about it all? WTF?!? That is it.

Oh,  BTW, they released heavily redacted versions of a portion of the Epstein files. So our DOJ is not in compliance with the Law. Wonder what happens next? Was there a theme to the redactions? Hmmm. Seems one name just wasn't going to see the light of day. Hint: Jeffery Epstein's best buddy...

Positive & Dreamy...

Ah, well. You can only swim in the ocean of outrage for so long. Then you need to get to shore, dry off, and get on with it. Take care of yourself, and others too. Recharge, refresh, renew. We turn to music, laughter, love. My partner and I are so lucky to be able to keep a roof over our heads, to be able afford good, nutritious food, to cultivate an attitude of wonder & beauty. Ok. Sure, there are worries, doubts, kerfuffles, and bad juju swirling around us at all times. But we tend to lean to the positive & dreamy, we are "works in progress," doing the good work, trying to always be working on ourselves and in the community. It's important to have a job, to do our daily rounds. You know even if it's a low-level, menial  job, but, an honest job, earning an honest buck, there is something grafitfying in the doing, it keeps us in touch with the real world. All essential to keeping our heads on straight, to filling our hearts with goodness, keeping our bodies sound. There are no utopias over here. There is always a battle of contending forces. The key: doing stuff, keeping engaged, working thru. Sure, Good & Evil, it's an existential contest. We lean to the Light. Living in the grand, unhinged Era of Lies & WTF?! Making it anyway. Fuck it. Damn the torpedoes. 

The American Gestapo Comes to Our Sleeply Little Town...

Folk #1: The American Gestapo, ICE & Border Patrol were back in our sleepy, happy little town yesterday. There were about 5 helicopters overhead, buzzing & circling like mechanical vultures, and I saw a burly, mirror-shaded officer in an unmarked vehicle on the corner of one of my familiar intersections. The day was a beauty; warmer temps, glorious sunshine, massive blue sky. It was certainly disturbing, and maddening to experience the clash between the Authoritarian Hellscape vs. Glorious Beauty on a Wednesday morning. There was one helicopter seemingly hovering over me as I walked down the path. I couldn't help but once in awhile pause, look up, and give it the finger & shout "Fuck You." I wasn't the only one unhappy about this surreal scene. Folks all along the path were shaking their heads, wondering WTF happened to our town?

Word later came that there was a raid going down near a Home Depot, the heavy hand of government oppression was targeting our neighbors and friends. Our tax dollars were being used to terrorize, harrass, & detain retail workers, landscapers, teachers, home-care workers, etc.  I must say ICE & Border Control are doing a magnificent job of radicalizing our community. The opposition against these disgusting operations grows by leaps and bounds. Safe to say most of the folks here hate this Nazified version of America.

Our mayor, our city council, are united in opposition to these terror tactics. They are losing the folk one raid at time. FUCK ICE. These agencies must be abolished, or heavily reformed. And the perpetrators of these human rights violations must be held to account. They are an obscenity. A blight, & a black mark on our country.

Two Words for our Present Circumstances.

Folk #1: Slinging words. Finding the right words, writing them down. Just the act of thinking & writing is important & essential to my well-being. I find that it is a way for me to swim towards some kind of clarity and understanding, even if what I am trying to understand is not really understandable, and clarity is a bit of a chimera. The writing down is a working through, or a working towards; it is a process of trying to process the workings of the world around me. Two words come to mind in the latest thrashings, skirmishes, and ungodly doings and sayings of my fellow human beings. Vile & Depraved. These words point other words: vile = "morally despicable or abhorrent, physically repulsive, foul, disgusting, uttlerly bad." depraved = "marked by corruption or evil, having or showing an evil and immoral character." There are a host of very prominent & powerful folks who have earned these over the top moral judgements. No doubt. I am sure you can guess of whom I am thinking.There are some humans who just make you want to distance yourself from the human species. You want to reach for some other window into the human soul, invoking Demonic & Angelic forces contending in our human bodies, but really, one suspects it is all just typical human behavior. A wide, grand spectrum of human posibility & capability. Demon or Angel, humans can channel both forces and do every day. Yes. When it goes bad it is truly ugly. I mean, even if you don't think of yourself as a moral authority, (and I don't), your simple Humaness makes you want to recoil, & retreat to a certain solitude, and a renewal of good cheer and good will unsullied by the craven bullshit of our present political & social cirmcumstances. You want to lean to your better Angels. Even if you fear an undercurrent, a shadow, in every ray of sunshine. It's a way of staying healthy & sane. Finding, cultivating & embracing those shining moments of goodness & light. It just takes a bit of will, dicipline and determination. Clarity requires us to admit that the worst and best can be found in our species.

A Culture Unhinged...

Folk #1: I am amazed, and super-surprised, that I appear (to myself), as more disciplined, more dignified, more circumspect, more level-headed, more gracious, more tempered, more even-keeled, more optimistic, more cultured, more full of good cheer, more grateful, more empathetic, more compassionate, & less fucked up than many, or even most, of the folks getting attention in the broader world; in politics, business, pop culture, social media, etc. I am thinking of folks who are supposedly more successful, smarter, more accomplished, powerful, influential, lauded & praised, than me. I mean, I know, that is a self-flattering, totally outrageous, unsupportable assertion & opening sentence; it is a bald-faced, over-arching generality. And it is not a statement I can back up with facts or proof. Also, I have usually thought of myself, observed myself, being a very sensitive, rambunctious, excitable boy, subject to the never-ending slings & arrows & hurly-burly of existence. But, over here, sitting in my own little bubble of silence, I am astounded by the sheer depravity of other people, those stupefying, noisy hordes who seem totally undisciplined, undignified, unhinged, and completely fucked up beyond any common sense, or semblance of reality. A noisy bubble of babel intent on getting attention, and saying, & doing, the most self-sabotaging, retrograde, idiotic, soul-killing things imaginable. It is gob-smackingly ridiculous. It's like watching and listening to a world gone mad, totally bonkers, watching other folks drive themselves, & each other, completely insane with idiocies, conspiracies, and disgusting trolleries. I am smart enough to know that I don't have all, or any, of the the answers, I don't always have my shit together, I have my foibles, & quirks, failures, blindnesses, and moments of total folly. As a result, I am humbled by my own deep human-ness. But I see a culture fantasitcally unhinged. And it is sort of shocking.

Partying with the Great Gatsby Crowd - Thoughts of A Better Way...

Folk #1: Post-party (see previous post), I think of William Blake's poem, Auguries of Innocence, the key passage:

Every night and every morn

Some to misery are born.

Every morn and every night

Some are born to sweet delight.

Some are born to sweet delight,

Some are born to endless night.

Hell. Not everyone can be a Hedge Fund Manager. Do we really need Hedge Fund Managers? Not sure. Not everyone can be a landscaper, dog-walker, or house-cleaner. Do we really need lanscapers, dog-walkers & house cleaners? Not sure.

Each of us are on singular paths. I suppose the question we all need to ask ourselves: Can each of us find sweet delight in moments of our days? Even if for some us our days are filled with toil & struggle.

Living in a Democracy, we are captivated with the idea that we can all thrive & prosper, we can use the tools of government to make sure that all people are treated equally & with dignity. As one of my favorite politicians, AOC put it: Every billionaire is a policy failure. You know, it's takes a village to create a billionaire. How many public programs went into the creation of the wealthy? There are no self-made men or women. There is plenty of money floating around. And remember, money is just a game we play. Can we build a society where no child goes hungry, no human is homeless, all of us get a basic education, and access to healthcare, no-one is left behind & treated like "garbage." Aren't social programs smart investments in the people?

If you are a billionaire I suppose being a Libertarian makes sense. They want to keep every last dime they ever made and really don't want to share. Alternatively, most of the rest us can see the value in Socialism, instead of just lionizing the rich and punishing the poor, we see that a more equitable distribution of resources would be better for all.

Is that common-sense? Utopia? A worthy goal?

I suppose, partying with the The Great Gatsby Crowd, reminded me of that French Revolutionary Motto: Liberty, Equality, Fraternity. It's a balancing act. A continual working out, a striving forward to a better day for all.

In our capitalist economy there are winners & losers. It's true. There are those with so much, those with so little. The haves & the have nots. Maybe we can tilt the machine slightly? Redistribute the wealth a bit? In order to create a fair & just society? We set up the rules, we can use those rules to make the world a better place for the maximum amount of humans. Those with so much, give up a little, to help the those with so little. Not such a radical idea.  Seems like the humanistic way forward. Viva La Revolution!

American Variety Peasants...

Folk #1: It was instructive. Undeniable. A bit intimidating & deflating. We went to a party last night and were confronted with unfathomable, unimaginable wealth. The kind of in-your-face, over-amped wealth that you just can't get your head around. How does anyone make this much money to to be able to inhabit such extravagance & luxury? Not exactly dictator-chic, too classy for that ugly Mar A Lago type grossness, but absolutely maximum luxury fortified with Hedge-fund mad money. Yes. Hedge-fund $$. An astoundingly large, over-built, mansion, sitting in a prime spot, right on the shore of Lake Michigan, surrounded by, hidden behind, an enormous impenetrable stone wall, almost castle-like, a vast front yard, and Olympic sized, outdoor pool. The house itself was super-sized, as if  it was built for a extended family, or really, an unwieldy tribe of giants. You could comfortably fit our apartment in their living room. Gorgeous art on the walls, sculptures, a grand piano, a woman playing classical pieces, jazz pieces and show tunes too. Servants walked around with fancy bites of food, a well-stocked bar with a smiling bartender. We were surrounded by very accomplished, prestigious folks. The kind of folks who sit on boards of major companies, folks who work at places like the Federal Reserve. Architects, Hedge Fund folks, Economists, Corporate Executives. These are all made, solid-gold people. Definitely "the Haves." We did not belong there. My partner and I are folks from the margins, the working stiff class. We were welcomed with open arms, but, no doubt, we felt a bit like circus-people, you know fish out of water. These are our neighbors, we see them out on the streets and paths often, but this was a revelation, and a reminder, that the rich really do live in a different world. We think that in America we all somehow transcend class, and it is true, we were all in the same room together, speaking a common tongue but, for sure, economically, materially, worlds & realities apart. Some of our worries, you know, feeding, clothing, & housing ourselves, basic survival-type things, aren't really concerns for these folks.  In many ways we are in totally different galaxies, that just so happen to be situated side by side in our town. I mean, we live blocks away in the "apartment living" part of town. We didn't talk politics, or current events, we stuck to dogs, music & literature. Safe harbor topics. These folks belong in a Henry James novel, or you know The Great Gatsby, we belong in a Samuel Beckett play. The party could have, but didn't, send us into a deep existential crisis, ok, maybe a little hint of an existential crisis, I mean, wtf, we didn't feel any envy, or ill-will towards these folks but we also couldn't avoid the idea that we are not on the winning side of the equation, we are on the outside looking in, still walking, talking & breathing, but, for sure, holding the short end of the stick. You can't really fault these folks for being super-wealthy & super-accomplished. They are truly the economic winners in our capitalist fanstasy-land. But it was overwhelming, & quite humbling for us to see all of this up close & personal. My partner & I, we both come from a long line of working-stiffs, folks who were lucky to just make it day to day, often paycheck to paycheck. We are clingers to the moment;  common folk, not exactly have-nots, but, basically adequately-housed & fed peasants, American-variety lower-class, peasants, just one catastrophe from catastrophe. And, well, that's our reality, and it's ok. I mean, it has to be...

A Lab Project in Flux...

I am reminded again, we humans are basically chemistry sets. Little labs of chemicals. Getting the mix right is essential. What we ingest is consequential. The stresses, worries, anxieties of the day, the sheer physicality of getting through a day, all take their toll, and influence the chemical balance and/or imbalance in our bodies. We should all be smarter about chemistry. Everything counts. Get it right and you can flow & fly with the day. Get it wrong and you hit the wall, dead man walking. Doing research, it's a constant task and process. Experimenting on the fly. Life is a lab project in flux. 

The Reckoning Has Begun...

Folk #1: Ha. Trump is losing on many fronts now. Indiana didn't bend the knee, Kilmar walked out of detention a free man (for now),  Presidential approval ratings are diving to historically low levels, Americans are thinking they really fucked up by electing this old, very sick man. Funny how electing a toxic clown good at bankrupting casinos, and pretending to be a smart guy on TV, is really, really bad at politics. Trump soon will be as popular as testicular cancer. America's cut-rate, felononious, tin-pot, faux-gold-leaf, dyed in the wool deplorable-racist, wanna be authoritarian is flailing & failing. Everyone is starting to notice. Ok, maybe not the hard-core, zombie, MAGA hordes, or the retro-anti-human Nazis, but you know, every other sentient human being can see that this very bulbous, brain-fried man is out of his element, out to sea, drowning in his own hate-filled idiocy. The Reckoning is happening now. Expect lots of huffing & puffing, noise, and bad-action, but it's all for a losing cause. Sure, the guy gets to live in that very trashed and sullied White House, but he is the lamest of lame ducks, he is dead-man walking. Even folks in the Republican party realize that in order to survive, they need to turn away from that great white whale of failure. The blubbering words will still emanante from his greasy lips, but most of us will tune that shit out. America will move forward and leave that piece of shit in the dustbin of history. Mark it!

Teetering on the Brink...

Folk #1: I am no financial wizard. I don't invest in the market. I don't have any great insights. I do follow a few smart people, economists, & market-watchers, who do know how the economy and the markets work. I do tune into the vibes, & I do have my eyes wide open. I see all of these flim-flam folks; the grifters, the con-men, the scammers, the disrupters, the over-amped billionaires, the AI lunatics, all those filthy rich folks throwing around billions of dollars like confetti. They all think they are geniuses and they believe that they play by different rules, or no rules at all, unlike us common folk. They have turned the USA into some creepy, glitzy casino of bad faith and corruption. Some of us watch in wonder & awe. Some of us watch in horror. If, like me, you believe in gravity & reality & common sense, you begin to suspect that all of this furious hurly-burly, panicky spending and crazed-investment in a hazy, lazy future of robots, colonization of Mars, and an AI singularity, is just fever-dream, ketamine-driven, cocaine-hallucinating dribble. What is the sentence of the day? I am not making any dire predictions. Who knows what the future holds? But the phrase ping-ponging in my head: Teetering on the Brink of Bust & Bankruptcy. And as in Shakespeare's Macbeth, I say: Let it Come Down...

His Brain is an Exploding Jello-Mold...

Folk #1: Yes. Again, Paul Krugman gets it right. We all have PTSD now. What's the problem? It comes down to one very sick, corrupt, racist, deplorable man in a position of great power. It is pretty amazing that all of the flaws, sins, idiocies, and crimes of America are embodied in one man, but it is undoubtably true. Weird how that happened. We are assaulted every day by his actions, his words, his example. He is totally bonkers now, seems his brain is turning to mush, an exploding jello-mold, and he spouts vile words like a very toxic volcano. He has no discipline, no control. He is a raging, drooling abomination. He is unhinged, and out of touch. The American Dream is just a plaything for him. He has no idea how to do his job. Funny. We, at one time, were the envy of the world. A shining city on the hill. All that has evaporated under this fat-freak's thumb. Of course, most of the country is at odds with all of this madness. This very powerful man isn't powerful enough to crush the opposition. In fact, every word he utters now enegerizes the opposition. He isn't all there. Which is his fatal flaw, the flaw that will ultimately crush him. Which is some kind of beauty. The fatal flaw, the ultimate sabotage is actualized by his own cruelty, meaness, idiocy, and deep ignorance of America, the Constitution & the Rule of Law. Most of us know he is a sad excuse of a Human Being not worthy of our time. 

Full-Metal-Stoic...

Finally. You are left with just the day to day slogging through. You must draw upon your inner Stoic to make it. Whining, complaining, raging against your fate is just wasted energy, energy that you need to survive. "Living a well-reasoned Life;" a worthy goal. Even if sometimes the Universe doesn't appear to care a whit for one's reasoning. Is the Universe reasonable? Maybe, maybe not. Maybe beyond Human Reason? Still, even if things don't make sense, even if "bad things," happen, death lurks around every corner, innocent children die, the evil ones thrive & face no consequences, even if sometimes it seems that Chaos Rules, the honorable, admirable way forward is to be a fully-rounded, fully-engaged Human Being gravitating to, aspiring to, living a life of Stoic Virtue. Full-Metal-Stoic. No doubt.

The Moment...

Monday morning. Up early. Still dead-black-dark outside, no hint of the sun. The coffee is really good, and it's doing it's job, which is to fire up my synapses, get the brain waves rocking, fortifying myself to face a challenging day out on the very cold, snowy, icy, midwestern streets. The cold & snow makes everything a little bit harder.

Feeling sort of philosophical this morning. Thinking about the Past, it's sort of a strait-jacket, but it is malleable. You can't change what happened in your life, but you certainly can change how you feel and think about it. And, you can let it all go. Ease up, inhabit the moment, and surprisingly, that strait-jacket just falls to the floor.

It is the same trick with the Future. You know, supposedly there will be a Future. But you never quite get there. It's always just the moment to moment. The present is always with us. The Past & Future are just mind-games we play on ourselves.

So yeah, long way around to one of my essential life-lessons and core beliefs: Be Here Now. Everything is Now. It is actually quite a Hopeful & Powerful realization, it is all about living in the present moment. It is where things actually happen, shit gets done,  it is where you have agency, ability & capability; you control the horizontal and the vertical. You condense that vast spectrum of Life into the very essential Moment.

The Power of Reading & Writing...

Folk #1: Reading & writing. Might be a super-power. I mean, I am no Shakespeare, Faulkner or Hemingway but I love to read & write. It is a past-time that I swim in happily. Over the last few days I was implicated in a weird conspiracy. Falsely accused; which is one of my hot-button issues. Maybe there is some deep in the bone trauma from when I was a youngster? Injustice. It really fires me up, it goes along with my loathing of bullies of every stripe. So, anyway, maybe it was just a little innocent misunderstanding, but I took it as an deep existential blow to the core of my being. Overly-dramatic? Maybe, but, you know, I am just built that way. So, what to do? I composed a little missive, arguing my case, presenting my truth & reality, and I fired it off to a very important person in charge. Basically the judge & jury. My few well-chosen, well-composed words and sentences made the whole thing evaporate & vaporize. The field was totally cleared. The madness was exposed as folly. My perceived nemesis was revealed, vanquished, and their conspiracy-theory was dismissed as an overly-emotional and paranoid rant. Of course, as completely empathetic folks we took pity on the ranter, & have shown nothing but kindness to this person. I was pretty happy & surprised at the immediate result. You never know how the thud of truth will be received. Anyway, that is the power of words. Clarity. Clear-seeing. Reading & writing, yes, a super-power indeed.

Denial - Grave Peril...

Folk #1: Yeah. The thing is, denial  can be a powerful tool & maybe it's sort of like a drug. You use it in times of hardship, or distress. You use it to power through difficult circumstances, you know, like that Vince Lombardi line: when the going gets tough, the tough get going. But, then again, like any tool it is a double-edged sword. Denying reality is basically lying to your self. Do that enough, and you put yourself in grave danger. You put yourself in peril because of a deep, in the bone mismatch between your self and the world. That is the way of madness, lunacy, self-sabotage & self-harm. If a society, a culture, a politics is founded on deep denial of reality, it is a failed, and immoral society, culture and politics. Remember those old maps: YOU ARE HERE? We all here, now. "Danger Will Robinson!"

Do they admit that they murdered folks for no good reason? Nope.

Folk #1: "The tone has been set. Even if you are tone-deaf it is easy to grasp the tone. Can you grasp a tone? Ha. Messy, right. What is the tone of which I am writing? Lying. The tone is lying. Over & over & over. These folks lie about the little things, the middle things, the big things. Everything. You have video evidence of murder on the high seas? Do you trust your eyes? Your senses five? What do the liars do in the glare of a clear & present reality? Do they admit that they murdered folks for no good reason? Nope. They lie. Lie. Lie. They double, triple, quadruple down on the lies. What do the rest of us to do? Call out the lies, point out lies, look to other folks who are willing to look reality in the face. Does reality have a face? Let's imagine that is does. Reality. It's homespun. It's expansive. It is cold, hard, necessary, essential. Life is to be found in the real. These lying human beings now in power are not credible. They are hollow fools, and bad actors. They are swamping us. Destroying any shared sense of reality or truth. It is a deadly, stupid, corrupt game they are playing. The rest of can choose a different way forward & we must. What do we cling to? Clear-seeing. Sifting thru the evidence and the clues. Doing our best to establish the facts. Being brave in the face of contrary indications. You know reality is an unforgiving companion. We must be willing to admit that we are human and fallible and forge forward with a desire and an imperative to live honestly. It's a full-time job."

"Rotting Head Phase of the American Experience..."

Folk #1: "That fat, old, racist, extremely unhinged & unhealthy white guy ranting & raving in the oval office? Lying about a community of Somalis in Minnestoa? About 95% of them U.S. Citizens? Spouting, ugly racist idiocy? Yikes. There is no bottom to that man's despicable nature. Made me think of that phrase: "The Fish Rots from the Head." We are now in the "rotting head phase of the American Experience." And what of all those lickspittles, spineless lackeys, morally corrupt toadies standing around while that creep babbled such ugly nonsense? They all should be ashamed of themselves. Each & every one of them should have walked out in protest. They didn't, instead, they stood around like deer-in-the-headlights, racist zombies, grinning assholes, which tells you everything you need to know about these people."

State of the Union - "Laughable, Tragic, Unwell..."

Folk #1: Let me jump in with an early take on the State of the Union. Laughable, Tragic, & Unwell.  The only Hope for us all is to be found in the Oppostion. As they say, "we need fighters," the nation's lonely eyes turn to the Democratic Party. 

BTW - Please check out this speech & press conference from Arizona Senator Mark Kelly. If you are an engaged American Citizen, this is "must-watch." Mark Kelly absolutely destroys Trump and Hegseth. A complete, totally devastating takedown of those two very corrupt, ridiculous, dishonorable men. Kelly is a legit, real, American Hero. Fearless. Now that's the kind of smart, tough-minded, clarity we need in order to remake and renew the American Dream. 

Now for the Great Unraveling...

It might be hard to believe, but I think things are about to get even weirder. "Chaos Rules." You know, the case of murder on the high seas, may lead to some major consequences for all involved. That is the way it is supposed to work. But the folks in power are so corrupt, so distant from any sense of competency, decency, integrity, truth, and honor, that things may just go majorly tilt. Funny how reality, just won't give up. Figure lots of gnashing of teeth, pounding the table, rage-posts, crazy ass rants on cable TV, lots of hurly-burly, scapegoating, finger-pointing, gaslighting. The rats will turn on each other. It may quickly get really ugly. I can see lots of things devolving & unraveling on many fronts. It's a dangerous time to be in the USA. No-one in charge really knows "shit from shinola." Could get really scary. That seems to be the lay of the land at the moment.  Yikes.

Patti with Death On Her Shoulder...

I finished reading Patti Smith's "Bread of Angels" (2025). It is a beautiful, "death-haunted," memoir. I suppose if you live long enough you too will become "death-haunted." Death is sort of the mystery that envelops every life. Those of us still living must contend with the reality and finality of death in our own particular ways. Patti reaches out to the mystery & the poetry. It's admirable, inspiring and deeply sad too. I was happy to read the book, and also happy to finish it. Patti lost some of her most significant lovers, inspirers, and co-conspirators early on. And she lost many more significant & influential folks over the years. She pays tribute to all those who gifted her along the way. An extraordinary life. The r&r shaman & poet. I recently purchased the 50th Anniversary Edition of her debut album "Horses." (1975). The remaster CD sounds fantastic. One of the greatest debut albums of all time with probably, for me, the greatest opening lines of all time. Certainly lines that made this lasped-Catholic boy sit up and take notice. Yes. Head-opening. A glorious liberation: "Jesus died for somebody's sins, but not mine..."  The lines that follow are epic too: "... my sins are my own... they belong to me... to me..." Very Jean Paul Satre "existentialist," don't you know?! And then throughout her rendition of the classic r&r song, "Gloria," Patti adopts the persona of a very insistent & aggressive rebellious-tomboy, on the hunt for a pretty young thing, "leaning on the parking meter, humping on the parking meter," or maybe she's imagining embodying a creative, rebellious, rambunctious boy, something along the lines of a young, surrealist-cowboy-mouth Dylan or an illminated Arthur Rimbaud? You know, totally, fucking extraordinary, mind-expanding r&r, right up there with Dylan's great album "Highway 61 Revisited" (1965).

Degradation Marathon...

Have we hit bottom in the degradation marathon? Murder. Blowing away fishing boats & fishermen in the Carribean. One humble, sort of optimistic pilgram wonders if, as Roger Waters once sang about a different topic: "The Tide Turning." Word is a Senate & a House Committee are calling for hearings. Now that is an interesting development. Folks are beginning to speak up. Questions are being asked. Cracks in the firmament. What looks like a solid, unstoppable fascist takeover, now seems shaky, stupid, unAmerican. Are the forces of opposition reaching ignition-point? Who knows?! One can hope. Seems plausible that this old, toxic, multiple-felon Prez is losing his shit & his mojo. Does the fall come in a rush? Slow at first, then all at once? I can see it, I can conjure up the picture. Of course I've been thinking & expecting a fall for a long, long time. I was godsmacked the first time, and double-gobsmacked since. Is there a bottom to the corruption, the crime-spree, the idiocy, the unapologetic racism and ill- will? Will we actually hit bottom and then rise up? Not sure. Wouldn't it be nice?

Oh yeah, and well, don't forget...

The Crimes of the Trump Administration...

If you are paying attention, you come to the grim realization that this administration is committing crimes in our names. Unfortunately, even those of us who are deeply opposed to this lawless cabal running the USA are implicated too. It was the same with the Bush/Cheney Torture Regime. All of us are slimed & stained by the crimes against humanity.

Let's just put a marker down. Sure, there are so many ways we are going wrong, but let's not ever forget these crimes:

1. Destroying USAID, leading to thousands (millions?) of deaths around the world.

2. Murdering fisherman in the Carribean.

3. Snatching, disappearing & abusing humans in streets of America. Day laborers, landscapers, teachers, food service workers, folks who have helped make America a thriving, wonderful place.

4. Destroying healthcare in America for millions. Taking health insurance away from common folk. Lying about vaccines. Unconscionable. Idiotic too.

Not acceptable. Those in the administration who are reponsible must face the consequences of their actions in a court of law. It will be an essential reckoning in the next administration.

Waiting on a Friend...

Waiting on a friend. That is me. Often. And when I am, I do hear and sing along with that Rolling Stones song. Yesterday my friend and I met up and had a fabulous Thanksgiving dinner at just around noon. It was fabulous, everything you could want or imagine. We filled ourselves up with food, and then hung out together. We chatted, tried to avoid talking about the fascist regime, and stuck to philosophy, music and our days of wonder together. We watched Spike Lee's amazing and dazzling new movie starring Denzel Washington, "Highest 2 Lowest," (2025). Is it a fucking great movie? Yes, indeed, it is.  My friend told me she had a "visionary dream," the night before. We often tell eachother, right before we go to sleep, "Let's get an answer," it seems the previous night she did. What was the answer? "Change Your Mind." We both thought that was brilliant advice. A message from the gods & angels. It can applied in so many ways, and in any situation. Sort of a superpower. We have the ability to transform ourselves & the world in a blink of an eye. The human mind is sort of an amazing thing, it should be used, it is flexible, strong, and open. But of course, it's left up to us to decide what is worthy of changing, and what is worth sticking to. I immediately ran thru many of my own personal beliefs & prejudices, lazy thoughts, and tentative answers. I imagined a menu sort of like a stone tablet. What will I chisel in stone? What will I erase? Maybe I could start over from scratch? Roll away the stone and instead write on the waves, or in the breeze with invisible ink. Yes. 

Fascinated by Terrible People = Not Good...

A culture fascinated by terrible people has it's downsides, like filling one's head with silly garbage, and over-amped deadly shite. We should all be better curators of information. There is only so much territory in our head-spaces. We are doing our well-being, our intelligence, and our good cheer, a major disservice when we wallow in the bullshit. Taking in vast quantities of terribleness is not healthy or good, or smart. The trick is to seek clarity. Sometimes that means turning away, shunning, and disregarding those stories and humans that don't deserve our attention. There are many, many of those. Too many of course, and these freaks and their freaky shite, are elevated, and broadcast to us obliterating our common sense & decency. A disciplined & studied avoidance, "serpentine, serpentine," is essential. You don't have to watch, to read, to listen to, all the petty, stupid, dangerous, ridiculous idiocy, floating in the air. Sure, stay aware, alive, awake, but sinking into the mire of terribleness is not a way to a better life. You can pick and choose what you pay attention to. I think best to adopt Melville's Bartelby the Scrivener credo: "I would prefer not to..." Much of this soul-killing hurly-burly & jet-trash does not merit our precious time or brain cells.