The Golden Calf President & His Racist-Creep Bootlickers...

Folk #1: "racial grievance + scapegoating immigrants."Right. Not the America we Love over here. As we see it, America is a land of immigrants who have come here from all over the world. We welcome the immigrants. They are our Brothers & Sisters, Fathers & Mothers. Except for the Native Americans, the First Nation's peoples all of our ancestors were immigrants. They helped build this country and make it the wildly diverse, and thriving place we know and Love. We still think of America as the Land of Hope & Promise. And being "Bor,n in the USA," is a privilege, a burden, a responsibility & an opportunity. The America Dream is under attack from the Golden Calf President, and his nihilistic, racist-creep bootlickers. They want to fundamentally change the character of our country. This attempt to sort through the human population and declare certain people are not welcome is a dastardly terrible moment & movement. Fuck these people. I still have Hope for a better day & a better way, but that Hope is under relentless attack every damn day. Who will these creeps oppress, assault, imprison, deport, demean, today? All of us are under assault. It's pretty pathetic, and terrible. I suppose the upside is that we see so very clearly what we are up against.

Once Woke, It is Impossible to Be Un-Woke...

Folk #1: It's odd. Being totally Woke, and realizing there are people, movements, political parties, Supreme Courts, who want to crush us. I find it impossible to be Un-Woke. Once you do awake, there really is no turning back. You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube. I watch the neo-Nazis, the White Supremacists, the Christian Nationalists, the MAGA hordes and just shake my head. WTF?!  My day to day is an affirmation of Woke-ness. Living in a Progressive Blue Bubble town, just North of Chicago, one the great cities in the world, a thriving megalopolis with an abundance of energy, diversity, and a melting pot of multi-culturalism; it is a total eye-opener, a demonstration and bold experiment in a multi-ethnic, culturally-rich, Democracy, and a lesson in getting along with my fellow Human Beings. It is a magnificent place to live. These retrograde forces seem so contrary and out of touch, and yes, frankly, Evil, so dissonant and at war with Reality, and Humanity. Yes. Being totally Woke. Alive, Aware, Awake. Really, I can't imagine any other way to live, truly, madly, deeply...

Hustle & Flow...

 

Folk #1: Yes. Matt Groening's Life in Hell. Perfect pitch. Bullseye. Constant ebb & flow of existence. Makes me think of that great quote: "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are."  I do think one thing I inherited from my Father, this failure/success idea, a particular cross to bear. It's a dichotomy & a crossroad. We just happen to live in the middle of it.

Radical Qualities...

Folk #1: Just simple competence, integrity, honesty & realism. Yikes. Those are radical qualities in this befuddling muddle of an era. We all seem to be unmoored from the real. It is a time that tests one's sanity, clarity and judgement. Lots of worry, anxiety and uncertainty floating around in the Heartland. You can walk around town and find beautiful folks from all races, creeds & colors willing to open their heads & hearts. Folks that know that the shit going down is soul-killing, inhumane and a complete dead-end. We are being lied to every day & we know better. When all this terrible racist trash, corruption and idiocy recedes, we are going to have to roll our sleeves up and get to work.

To Be Crazy, or Not to be Crazy?

Folk #1: You watch everyone else gladly, enthusiastically go over the cliff. You wonder what is so appealing? You start to think maybe it's cool, it's necessary, it's the new thing? Maybe you are missing out? Hmmm... you know... maybe it'll be fun? If everyone around you chooses to go crazy, maybe going crazy is the way forward? You take a deep breath, you count to ten, you take another sip of coffee, you stare wistfully and meaningfully, into the dark abyss. Moments tick by. Finally your verdict, you go with Bartelby the Scrivener's "I prefer not to." And,  maybe the more delightfully empathic: "Nope, fuck that shit."

We are those People...

Folk #1: Another beautiful day in the Heartland yesterday. We spent most of the day navigating thru the streets of our neighborhood on our bikes, putting up posters and handing out postcards for our r&r show in July. Funny. You know, we don't have "people" to do that kind of thing, we are those people! We live in the DIY space, where nothing gets done, unless we roll up our sleeves and do it ourselves. It's a way of life, a code for living. Sometimes, it feels like we are just spinning our wheels, and maybe we are, but there really is no alternative. We must do the things we must do. That's the only way we can imagine getting things done. It was all actually quite fun. There is a certain pleasure in walking the sidewalks, conversing with folks, imagining a great show with a full house. You know, living the dream...

Temporary...

Folk #1: We live in the flux and the flow. We learn that nothing, including us, lasts. This is both joy, and pain, liberating & defeating. The only way forward is complete, total, unworried, stoic acceptance. A certain surrender to the temporary nature of all things. Sure. There are moments of enlightenment, epiphany, transformation, but these moments are fleeting, & they easily & quickly evaporate right before our eyes.

Open Head-Space...

Folk #1: Yesterday afternoon we rode our bikes over to our "sun-spot." A little oasis off the lakefront path. It was a totally gorgeous day. All of our problems seemed as tiny as the city buildings way off in the distance, a tiny Emerald City, looking like a child's toys on the far horizon. I suppose it's all about perspective, how you frame things for yourself, & for your friends, getting distance & an open head-space.  That's where you can find clarity & clear-headed-ness. It was magnificent, healing, and fun in a low-impact kind of way.

Stay Tuned for More Idiocy...

Folk #1: One has to wonder: "Have we finally hit bottom on the idiocy of this Idiot President?!" You may think it's a loaded question, or maybe it is an impossible question, with an unknowable answer. We are swimming in a vast sea of idiocy, how will we ever know if he, & we, have sunk to the absolute lowest level? How will we know if there is a bottom and an end to this idiot & his madness? I think his new war on Algae, and imaginary vandals is a signal event. Really. Yes. So, so stupid. So, so idiotic. So representative of one man's steep cognitive decline. You can't fake this kind of stupid. Funny as hell too. Yes. All our thoughts and prayers are with the Algae. This fascist creep is just flopping around like a dying fish out of water. Yikes. Finally, I suppose there is an answer: "No, there is no bottom to this Idiot's Idiocy!"  I mean, stay tuned, our timeline probably can & will, get much, much stupider, & idiotic. No limits, no bottom, pure, deep in the bone, stupid.

The Saga...

Folk #1: Don't underestimate a Human Being's desire to push around & beat down other Human Beings. Seems like it's  a tendency buried deep in our genetic architecture & psyches. The Bully Complex. Also, it is clear that the voracious desire to accumulate money & power, and then to use this money & power as weapons against those less monied & powerful, is upfront and central to our present circumstances. The In-group always beats up on the Out-groups. Big vs Little. Rich vs Poor. Powerful vs the Powerless. The Haves vs. the Have Nots. What to do? Try to navigate around these powerful, monied forces. First: see clearly & diagnose the problem. Second: Organize, Unite, Be fucking Woke to the Max. Human Rights, Human Equality for all. Sure, Tax the Rich, feed the Poor, take care of each other. Better Angels, and all that. But, for sure, realize this is an ongoing saga & battle. The forces of Enlightement vs. the forces of Darkness. The war is never won, it's always morphing, evolving, in various stages of The Latest Chapter: Humans being Human.

Signs of Catastrophic Failure...

Folk #1: Signs that you are fighting a losing battle: 

When the algae  just turns against you.

When they start taking your name off of buildings.

When plague & pestilence descend upon the land.

When the Screw-worm feasts on cattle.

When a small country brings a big country to it's knees with drones & mines. 

When the Ayatollahs suddenly own the Strait of Hormuz.

When the President dicovers there is a "b" in the word "dumb."

When even the farmers in Iowa start wondering "WTF?!"

When the only people supporting your idiocies are in on the grift.

When everyone in your administration is stabbing someone else in the back.

When your rage, hate, whim & fury are totally useless and funny.

When you are the lamest of lame ducks, flailing & failing, and everyone is laughing at you.

When Truth, Reality, Common Sense, Science & Math are at war with you and your administration.

When you are barely more popular than Ebola virus and testicular cancer.

Rocking in the Free World with Algae!

Folk #1: Of course, when it comes to the cage match between the bullying, flailing & flailing President vs Algae definitely put us on Team Algae! Ha. You might think this is a trivial issue, (although 14 million bucks ain't chump change), but, oh man, the symbolism is just perfectly, gorgeously-rendered karma. "Rust Never Sleeps, Sucker!"  To watch as the Pretend Strongman rages against Algae, well, you couldn't find a better metaphor for this totally fucked up time. Trump is claiming that vandals, Antifa, Democracy-loving sabateurs & shady, dark, left-wing forces are conspiring against him, aiding and abetting the Algae. Ha. It's Nature, baby! Nature is a hard Mother. Time & Nature is turning Trump's brain to mush. Shit Happens! Rock on Team Algae, the Nation's Lonely Eyes turn to you!

Help Each Other...

Folk #1: On the road yesterday. A journey to the West to take care of some very sad business. It was quiet in the car, no small talk, just feeling-very-sad vibes. We were on our way to do something that had to be done.  Being responsible Human Beings means sometimes doing the hard things without complaint. Stiff upper lips and all that. Although, must say, copious tears were shed. Neither of us were looking forward to the coming event, Life & Death for one of our little flock; a beautiful, resiliant, tough little bird dangling at the end of her rope. She had lived a life of steep challenge every step of the way. The difficult decision had finally been made, the last day for our little friend. She had been living with an icreasing number of life-threatening maladies and it was getting quite dire for all of us. Riding down a shady street, big, beautiful leafy green trees looming over us. A gorgeous blue sky winking overhead.  Just one of those days. Memorable. I casually turned to look out the car window, and there on the lawn, in front a of friendly, rickety-looking home, a stark, black, wooden sign, decidedly homemade, with words written out in luminous, glowing white:

Help 

Each Other

Yes. Sometimes it is all quite simple. Heartbreaking too...

The Era of the Sharp Blade...

Folk #1: Reality. It is a hard teacher. We seem to be living in the world of Bubbles. Bubbles of Ignorance. Bubbles of  Unconscionable Wealth. Bubbles of Great Inequality. Bubbles of Lies. Bubbles of Corruption. Bubbles of Disinformation. Bubbles of Cruelty. Bubbles of Racism. Bubbles of White Supremacy. Bubbles of Silliness. Bubbles of Irresponsiblity. 

The Bubbles seems to emerge & rule with no worries about Common Sense, Truth or Gravity. Folks start thinking it will be Bubbles Forever. Then one day The Sharp Blade of Reality rears it's gnarly, ugly, but very Enlightened Head. The Sharp Blade starts doing it's pointy, nasty work, popping Bubbles left & right. We have come to the Era of The Sharp Blade. 

The Conman is exposed as a Fraud & a Loser. Declaring a Win, when Everyone can see it is a humilating Loss. We all knew, in our Heart of Hearts how this would all begin to end. Humiliation & Failure. Over & Over, & Over. It is refreshing when Folks start speaking Truth to Power. A big Bubble popped! Expect many more to come...

I mean. Ha. Ha. Ha. Even a Republican Senator can smell the stink of failure & defeat from a mile away...

Stoic, Skeptic, Zen Warrior...

Folk #1: "You are a Good Man, Charlie Brown."  Thinking good thoughts for a better future. Over here I am doing my best to be a stoic, a sunny-fried skeptic, and a totally dispassionate, Zen Warrior. I have been recalibrating & refocusing my daily meditation practice: visualizing death in a million ways. Oh, no, not what you are thinking. Ok. Yes. Maybe it is what you are thinking; it's understandable, it's the question on everyone's lips in my little progressive, blue-bubble town, but that is not the only thing I'm thinking. I have been conjuring up scenes of my own death in a thousand, quite dramatic ways. Falling off a mountain, attacked by a murder of crows, drowned in a raging river, arrows in the back, torn apart by a pack wolves, struck down in an epic Captain Blood-type sword fight, trampled underfoot by a herd of wild-ass buffalo. Funny. It's all quite liberating. A deep cleanse. I have found a certain icy-calm center, deep in the murky depths of my own being. Think classic Ego Death. The craziness of the moment to moment seems like silly, pointless, easily-dismissed & ignored white noise, super-easy to overlook & to tune out. This over-amped, ridiculous, comedic-tragedy channeled through our deeply corrupt, toxic clown? Vapor. Mist. Fog. 

Simple Formula...

 Folk #1: America in 2026: Decadance, Rot & Weakness. Thank You President Trump & GOP!  What is the Trump brand?! It has always been the same - Failing & Flailing!

Fallen Off the Mark...

Folk #1: Early thoughts this a.m. Maybe we are well & truly doomed? UFC fight on the White House Lawn? So epically stupid, disgraceful. Hard to be  totally outraged though, my outrage meter is broken, it's all too mind-numbingly idiotic to get twisted over. Fuck that shit. And what brought on this sordid spectacle? Laziness. Stupidity. Racism. Selfishness. The constant need to lie to others & to ourselves. Catering to the crazy idiots amongst us. Seems everyone is out to make an easy buck. Folks are willing to sell their souls and fuck over their fellow Human Beings for a chance at the silver cup, the golden goblet, the big score. It's is easy see the betrayal, the disgusting display of needing, wanting, grasping that is trumping all that is right & good. Yikes. I feel like a character from another story, another time, another place completely.  I never considered myself a moral paragon. But I recoil in horror at the state of the state. What the fuck happened?! How did we all go so wrong? I know there are others like me, folks who still value truth, grace, intelligence, kindness, love, honor, discipline, hard work, courage, a fiery commitment to a better world. I saw video of folks celebrating the New York Knicks finals win in New York City, and I am reminded of the beauty of a multicultural, radically, racially diverse community of souls living side by side in harmony. Still living the promise of a melting pot America. So yeah, my sense of doom is bounded by my sense of possibility, resiliance, imagination & creativity. Fuck it. We can reclaim the dream. I still believe. But it helps to also see clearly just how far we have fallen off the mark. And yes, we have really, really fallen...

Move on from the Clown...

 

Folk #1: Back to politics. And the wretched state of the nation. It is funny. The more this man wants the world to fall at his feet in abject adoration, & fear, the more he is seen for who & what he is; a Toxic Clown, embodying corruption, cruelty, bullying, lawlessness, gutter racism, incompetence, & prodigious idiocy. Finally, you just can't take this guy seriously. He is a damaged, unwell, Clown. He is not as svelte as the cartoon above depicts him. He actually is quite bulbous, over-stuffed and hideous in appearance. A super-ugly, Toxic Clown & not funny, not powerful, not awe-inspiring, instead, pathetic & deeply repulsive. Much of the time we can tune him out. But he is a plague, a cloud of toxicity hovering over the USA and the World. Yikes. All the worst qualities of a human being are alive in this man's aura. You do not want to be this guy. You do not want to listen to this guy. Every word he utters is most often a bald-faced, easily disproved lie, and listening to him speak actually makes one stupider, one word at a time. We can do so much better. We have to move on from this Clown. This is no time for Clowns. We human beings need to get to work. The good work. A better nation, a better Union, listen to our better Angels...

Chasing Soundwaves...

Folk #1: We are working on a long-gestating musical project. I play guitar and write songs for a very loud, anarchic, garage-rock band. The lead singer, my bandmate & musical collaborator, is also a fabulous lyricist. His lyrics are always edgy, funny, insightful.  I come up with chords & riffs to complement and propel these lyrics into the atmosphere. The bands consists of the two us, plus another guitar player, a bass player & a drummer. Excellent, full-on, rocking musicians all. The five of us, have melded over time into quite the powerful unit. We finally, after many, many years of playing small clubs and bars are recording an album. We have ten original songs that we laid down in incredibly well designed & appointed recording studio. We are in the process of mixing now. You would think it all be quite straight-forward, but, funny, this process is always a bit of a battling windmills, Quixotic-quest; a certain endlessly-expanding, deeply disorienting, rabbit hole. Chasing soundwaves. There is a little bit of science, and a little bit of art in the doing. Trying to nail down something that can't be nailed down. Soundwaves are complex & interesting. You'd think it would be easy & logical, putting all elements in their right place, but turns out, there is no "right place," instead, the process is sort of mysterious & spooky. We all have various devices & systems to listen to mixes, and there is no consistency across stereo systems, or headphones. There are dramatic differences. Each device has it's own unique tuning which emphasizes different elements. All of our choices, preferences, and judgements alter the end result. Everyone in our band has listened to various stages of mixes, and we all hear different things. It's another case of the more you pay attention, the more you focus on something, the more close-listening one does, the more it all gets murky, hazy, uncertain & fungible. Finally, you just have to make solid choices, drawing a line in the sand, throwing down a marker. Emphasisng one element can crowd other elements. Certain instruments & soundwaves emerge & some disappear. So strange. There is a lesson there. No doubt. Finally, you just have to decide, to make the call. Deciding on one bold choice after another, out of ever-expanding, uncounted number of choices. Ultimately, you have to say, damn the torpedoes, this is it! Finishing the project is just a matter of  determination & will. The road taken, and all the many roads not taken. You know what you have, and you know what you have left behind. It ain't easy, but it's very much the life we live. It's all in the mix.

Cheering on the Collapse...

Folk #1: Yes. This is the era of Dumb & Dumber. Billionaires becoming Trillionaires, and all the little folks applaud, burn with envy, pile their cash into the pockets of the super-wealthy, and dream of becoming super-wealthy too. Seems everyone wants in the easy way: The Grift, The Con, The Ponzi Scheme. It's ugly, soul-killing, yes, & very fucking dumb. It takes a village to care for, pamper, and support a Billionaire. There are no self-made wealthy people. Not in this Universe. What happens when all this market madness, wealth feeding off wealth, crashes & burns? Of course, the little folks will get hammered, the Billionaires & Trillionaires will probably be bailed out somehow. I mean, fuck, let's hope not. Maybe, a New Dawn, a New Era, AOC's "Every Billionaire is policy Failure," is a market crash away? Is it poor form, in bad taste, to cheer on Collapse? Maybe, but, Fuck These People.

The Smart Ones, And the Cliches...

Folk #1: I log onto the internet and surf around to see what all the "smart" people are thinking & saying about current events this morning. Funny. Not sure I can actually locate any smart people. It occurs to me that the people don't seem as smart as they think they are. Lots of cynicism, sarcasm, and unknowingness floating in the ether. Maybe events are just too stupid, weird, contradictory, murky, spooky, strange for the people to digest? Lots of madness & idiocy all around. Events are just bouncing off our heads, colliding around like a furious little hurricanes? Lots of hurly-burly, "a tale told by an idiot." There is the floatsum & the jetsum. Yikes. I fall back on my favorite go-to cliches: when the going gets tough, the tough get going, no one ever promised you a rose garden, damn the torpedoes, love they neighbor as thyself, run to daylight, one day at time, fake it to make it, may the force be with you, you are the eyes of the world, today is the first day of the rest of your life, what's it all about Alfie, I stick my neck out for nobody, don't tread on me, someone kills your partner, you got to do something about it,  different strokes for different folks, I know nothing, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, all that glitters is not gold, it's hard out here for a pimp, you take what you need and you leave the rest, take it easy,  but take it, keep on truckin', what the fuck?!, we truly are the tricky monkeys, people just ain't no good, we have met the enemy and it is us, you don't know what you don't know, life it's complicated, everything happens for a reason, even if you don't know the reason, oh yeah, the Universe doesn't need reasons, there ain't no why, it just is, and of course, it is what it is... 

Mr. Coffee Wins the Day...

Folk #1: You'd think I'd be a coffee elitist? Maybe I am a coffee populist? Hmmm... I am all about starting with great coffee beans. I have superb bean grinder to assure I get the perfect grind. I have a very nice French Press, and when I am far from home, and staying at place without a coffee-maker, I bring my French Press, which is made of metal, not glass, so my inadvertant clumsiness doesn't shatter it into a million pieces. I have learned how to make the perfect French Press cup of coffee. Let me tell you, in the early morning hours, well before the sun rises, making the perfect cup with sleepy, bleary eyes, without having a cup of coffee first, is quite labor-intensive, and a bit of a bleary challenge. Testing one's patience in the process. But, when all is said and done, the results are quite good. And maybe that meticulous, step by step laboring leads to a certain satisfaction? "I made that well brewed cup with my own diligent effort." Perfect? Well, pretty damn close. Presently I am at a place with a coffee-maker, branded Mr. Coffee, you know, the one originally endorsed by Yankees legend Joe DiMaggio. Guess what? Mr. Coffee wins the day over here. I grind my beans, pour in the water, click the on button, and I get a nicely brewed pot of coffee. Perfect? Well, pretty damn close. I didn't do shit. A grind, a pour, a click, and magically, a hell of good pot of coffee. While staying over here, I have left my French Press untouched in my backpack. Yes. Really. This coffee elitist chooses Mr. Coffee. I mean, it's not really just the labor-saving, the result is a truly an excellent brew. I must say, I was surprised. Pleasantly. Yes. Dare I say it? Mr. Coffee rules! Who knew?!

Happiness by Degrees...

Folk #1: Happiness lies in the little, unexpected things. It's a thin reed, indeed, that seperates happiness from gloominess, euphoria from miserableness. A good night's sleep, a well-brewed cup of coffee, excellent music on a classic old stereo system, sound waves dancing around in big old lakefront mansion. A summer morning in the heartland, not cold, not hot, just about perfect stew of temp & humidity. Everything comes down to degrees, proportion, doses. Sure, I have an agenda of things to do for the day, it's good have a job, but not too many appointments or too much too-ing & fro-ing. There will be time for conversation, laughter, love, a good meal. There are a few big dreams & ideas dancing around in my head, that just comes naturally to me, but I can tame them, still the churn & madness, I don't need to play the game of expectations; no need for the needing, wanting, grasping. It's best to let the elements of the day come to me unbidden. Maybe there will be unexpected surprises along the way?

Not the Life of the Party...

Folk #1: Let's just say, you are astonished, gobsmacked, overwhelmed, struck deaf & dumb. Sure. You can still type into the void, it's a compulsion, maybe an addiction, a hard to break habit, but any semblence of forming and articulating thoughts & sentences comes in fleeting dribs & drabs, and only haltingly. For sure, at the moment, you are not the life of the party.

Turns Out, It was an Extraordinary Day...

Folk #1: Reading the previous post, you might think my partner and I are angst-filled,  Jean Paul Satre-style doomsters. Ha. Nothing could be further from the truth. I mean, I suppose, if we put our minds to it, we can go that way,  and certainly in my younger days, I could put on a pretty good existentially, angst-filled party, but really, we are for the most part, happy, joyous, creative humans.  Bounded by trauma & tragedy just like everyone else. Yesterday we spent most of the day together, riding our bikes in the neighborhood, enjoying a great meal, cracking each other up, there is something uniquely-fulfilling about two humans who have known and lived together for decades, a deep understanding, a secret communication, it is one the best things about being a human: a long-term, uncompromising relationship & friendship. Navigating the hills & valleys together. Mid-afternoon, we went to a Jazz Master Class Workshop, at a local saxophone shop in our with neighborhood, featuring the incredible Chilean Saxophonist, Mellisa Aldana. An amazing, beautiful, creative, musical soul. She started playing saxophone when she was six years old. 37 years old now, no doubt, she one of the finest sax players in the world. Melissa played for nearly an hour with her trio, sax, drums, bass. It was overwhelming just to watch how she totally melds & communes with her instrument, and plays off & silently & telepathically communicates with her fellow musicians. She uses her whole body when she plays. Rising up and dipping down on the high & low notes. A beautiful, musical dance. It was stunning, inspiring, amazing. She then took a break and let the audience members ask questions. I asked her if she had a "spiritual practice," she replied, "Yes. Of course. Music."  She said she plays from her "root Chakra," and well, yes,  there is no doubt she puts herself totally into the music. A spiritual practice? Yes. Indeed. That is something my partner & I believe in too, that our music-making, the process & discipline, the creating, embodying and playing, is a spiritual practice. At the end of the session Melissa showed us her method, how she practiced her art. She does meticulous transcriptions of her favorite saxophone heroes, Wayne Shorter, Freddie Hubbard, Michael Brecker, John Coltrane & Sonny Rollins, and many more; and she channels their notes, their phrasing, their timing, their spirits, their souls. She played along with some of her favorite songs on her phone. She played along note for note, but not just playing the notes, she totally absorbed & embodied the spirit, the soul of the music and the music-makers. She actually, changed, and morphed into another musical spirit while she played. She became a musical chameleon, a shape-shifter of the vibe. It was a knockout performance. What to say? Totally fabulous & inspring. Afterwards we bought one of her and albums and thanked her for the session. She was so kind, so open,  & beautiful, with an aura of simple grace, presence, and humility. An extraordinary human being. Melissa renewed our faith in the human project. We finished the day chilling, and buzzing, from this incredible display of beauty and magnificence. Yes. It was good day. A very, very good day. Indeed.

Ridiculous & Horrifying...

Folk #1: Yes. It's true. The present predicament of our on-going, always-expanding present, has plunged my partner & I into long bouts of soul-searching. All of this un-hinged behavior, joyous barbarity & over-amped corruption shamelessly displayed by our fellow Humans is so off-putting, disconcerting, worrisome, and alien. We are experiencing Vertigo, and Ego Death. Sure, day to day, we do exist on solid ground, we walk the streets, sidewalks & paths, making our daily rounds, but at the same time everything seems off-kilter, broken, and strange. We are spinning, lost, disconnected. I suppose we are just grappling with Reality, and it seems that Reality is in deep conflict with pretty much everything we ever thought we knew. So yeah, a reckoning, a recalibration, a yearning to reset to a new understanding. But the onslaught of events, riduclous & horrifying, is so powerful, we are washed away in waves of deep uncertainty. It's pretty weird. Cast adrift from any semblance of truth, honor, grace, love. Even though we know those are the values we must cling to, & cherish.

The Surrender Tour...

Folk #1: Still on my Surrender Tour (see previous two posts). Giving up. Giving in. Letting go. Seems to be the latest grand theme. It has opened up new vistas inside my being. Time seems to be expanding. Taking things as they come. Trying my best to meet the day moment to moment. Back to simplicity, clarity, and gravity. Sure, I have a worried mind, but that just comes baked in. Being Human isn't really all that easy. We are all quite complicated. A well-examined Life? Slogging through & sorting through the hard stuff: finding those things worth keeping, and discarding the rest. Leaving all that noise, hurly-burly, & useless baggage behind.

Surrendering: To the Moment, the Day, the Universe...

Folk #1: Funny. Yesterday I was still clicked into the moment (see previous post). Hard to explain, but two days ago, I suddenly had an overall reset: heart, head & spirit, and I felt totally in sync with the Universe. Sounds like a major thing, but it was just a tiny moment, a micro-cosmic tilt, & just like that, everything felt perfect & in it's right place. Yesterday, on the lakefront,  my partner & I took a break, had a little "sit-down," relaxing in the park, in the sunshine, kicking back, enjoying a beautiful day. She mentioned that I seemed different, somehow changed in the last day or two. I was truly surprised she had noticed anything at all. She said to me: "I see that you have surrendered." Ha. So very interesting & funny. I took that in, thought for a moment & replied: "Yes, I suppose it's true, I didn't even realize it. I have surrendered; to the moment, to the day, to the Universe. It's wild, kind of like a weight lifted off my shoulders." It was kind of amazing that she perceived something intuitively, something I wasn't even totally conscious of, & wasn't sure about. She verbalized something that was just a dim shadow on the horizon of my consciousness. I must say, it was gratifying to be seen so clearly. I didn't realize I was so transparent. Maybe that's one of the things we need other people for? To be seen, and to & point out things that we miss? Maybe it sometimes takes someone else to let you know what's what?

Suddenly In-Sync...

Folk #1: Yes. Out on the path yesterday I felt the world go tilt. Really. A slight tinge of vertigo tapped me on the shoulder. It was a paradise-blue day out on the path. I was feeling quite euphoric. Everything in it's right place. Then the tilt. I paused, righted myself, and felt my head, heart & spirit reset. Suddenly I was locked in, in-sync, with the present reality of the day. I experienced the moment to moment to the max. It was quite something. This morning that in-sync feeling is still with me. Maybe this is part of my renew, recharge, refresh, and reset agenda? Who knows?!

Where Are We At?

 

Folk #1: The word that comes to mind this morning: "Unsustainable"

The War, the Economy, the AI Spend, the Politics, the Social Media Madness, the Algorithm, the Market, the Environment, the Grift, the Con, the Facism,  the Cruelty & Bullying, the Racism, the Fury & Idiocy, the Bad Faith & Bad Actions of My Fellow Human Beings. Good Lord. Yikes. Yes. Over the freaking cliff...

Yes. He is Mentally Ill: The Plain Truth...

Folk #1: Yes. Paul Krugman's short video yesterday says it all. "Learning from a Mentally Ill President." It is so refreshing to hear and to read THE TRUTH. Funny. Clear-seeing, clear-speaking, clear-writing. It is quite rare nowadays. We are bombarded with noise, disinformation, outright lies & falsehoods. When confronted with an obvious Truth, laid out simply and concisely, it's quite satisfying. Almost breath-taking. Unfortunatley, I do think many folks just tune it all out, or get totally numb, & dumb to all the noise. Clearly, we are in the clucthes of a very Mentally Ill human being. He is deteriorating before our eyes. He is being propped up and weaponized by the worst grifters amongst us. It's all pretty disgusting. The news media, and the elites just can't admit the Truth. We all suffer. This can't last, right?!!!

Dems Getting It...

 

Folk#1: The Democrats are starting to get the hang of it. Resistance to the Epstein Class?! Call them out at each & every turn. Stand tall. Demand Truth, Justice, and a Renewed American Way. Trump & his Best Buddy, Jeffery Epstein? We still haven't gotten to the nitty-gritty, the full extent of the Truth. Putting these Criminals on our $$$?! Ha. That is a freaking hilarious idea...

Sometimes It is Quite Simple...

Folk #1: You are sometimes forced to make choices. Some choices may come easy. Elementary, obvious shite. Some are much more difficult. Sometimes it seems that one is confronted with no good choices, you are left with gnarly, sticky, very bad realities & alternatives to choose from. What to do then? How do you navigate that shite?! Funny. You think of yourself as a very empathetic, caring human being, but sometimes you are left with the taste of ashes in your mouth. All you can come up with in response to the latest fucked up thing, is to choose a seemingly callous, exuberantly-righteous response: Fuck these people! 

Even the Wealthy, Economic Winners I Know are Very, Very Displeased...

Folk #1: There was a time I thought maybe I was a bit radical. Unhappy. Gnarly. Contradictory. I read Jean Paul Satre, Hunter S. Thompson, Jean Genet, Charles Bukowski. I felt like a Stranger in a Strange Land. Alienated. On the margins. I could argue with a ham sandwich. Just for entertainment. I'm not so much like that anymore. Pretty happy & comfortable in my skin. I can still dissect a sentence or an idea, try on different sides & interpretations; that's just my way. Long time American here. Born in Chicago, grew up in the lower-middle-class suburbs, families making it, not so much banking it. I come from a long line of working stiffs, Democrats, all. Old school Democrats. FDR was considered a Saint in my family line. Anyway, navigating the neighborhood I live in now, much more affluent, definitely tilted to the upper, upper middle classes, I find that folks who I think might be much more conservative than I; retired corporate lawyers, ex-Fed bankers, wealthy freelancers & construction workers, board members of upper echelon organizations, are all up in arms. I think of these folks as the ones who helped make the country, the successfully affluent country that we all have grown up in. They have kids & grand-kids. They are radicalized. Very, very unhappy, gnarly, argumentative. They hate what is happening to the USA under Trump. Even if they got a fucking tax cut. Funny. I take my position, and well, they go me one or two times better. I actually think this is a good sign. Folks who basically won the game; the economic winners of America are very displeased with this wanna-be-Fascist. They hate his Bullying and Corruption. They hate Trump with a burning passion. These usually mild-mannered folks easily resort to beautifully descriptive swear words. I mean, fuck, I'm impressed. Sure, we are experiencing extremely bad times right now, but, the folk are not happy. I do think the backlash will be fucking enormous. Things will not end well for Trump. Maybe we are on the cusp of a new era? First there will have to be a reckoning. Trump has not changed the character of the Folk. Sure, he has his crazy cult, but they are greatly outnumbered. You can't put the toothpaste of the American Melting Pot back in the tube. We are too gloriously diverse. Sure right now, we are stuck in the muck & mire of the shite, but, I am pretty damn confident that this will not last.  A new way, and a new day is on the menu, no doubt.

Discipline Vs Rot...

Folk #1: Yes. But "moral discipline," (see previous post), is in a death-match with "moral rot." We live in the clutches of the Epstein Class. These over-amped rich fucks who no longer care whether they are being seen in public, lording it over the rest of us, instead, actually flaunting and reveling in their own excess before our hungry, needy eyes. America has actually elevated a con-man & criminal, a corrupt to the core individual, to the highest office in the land, and that audaciously counter-productive, self-sabotaging act, has filtered down thru the culture, and has had major consequences for every city, town & village in the land.  You know the moral rot is like a nasty virus, a ever-spooling contagion, passing on from one person to another. And, of course, the corruption flows from our shores, & has spilled over into other lands. Corruption is now the name of the game, it is America's great product & export. What happens when folks think the only way to get ahead is to lie, cheat & steal, and to beat up on our fellow humans? What happens when we all come to the conclusion that our society is a totally corrupt & rigged game? Maybe the world goes tilt? Maybe the only hope is that all of this bad shite & bad juju brings the whole festering, rotting, edifice crashing down? One can only hope. Then a rethink, a rebuild. Back to basics, hard work, discipline, truth, beauty, reality, honesty, and a better day. I mean, this can't last, right?!

Moral Discipline in My Kit-bag...

Folk #1: This morning the phrase that jumped out at me like a feral cat: Moral Discipline. There seems to be some kind of theme, or plot, I am unaware of, (see previous post), that is tapping me on the shoulder lately.  

The Buddhist version of "moral discipline" - "a virtuous determination to abandon any non-virtuous action. For example, if by seeing the disadvantages of killing, stealing, or sexual misconduct we make a firm decision to refrain from such actions, this is moral discipline. Similarly, the determination to refrain from lying, divisive speech, hurtful speech, idle gossip, covetousness, malice, and holding wrong views is also moral discipline."

I would not describe myself as a scold, a prude, a moral authority. I am pretty much in the mode of "different strokes, for different folks."  You know, "go along, get along."

Hell, my heroes as young boy were folks like Hunter S. Thompson, Charles Bukowski & Keith Richards. Eventhough I was raised by Nuns, which is pretty much like being raised by wolves, from an early age, I was pretty much in the "sex, drugs & r&r camp." Looking for adventure at every turn, and sometimes finding misadventure.

Still, if I am honest with myself, I do think I have stuck pretty much to a baked-in moral discipline. Maybe, despite my best efforts, some of that Christian, Jesus talk actually stuck. I mean, at least, I lean that way. Lie, cheat & steal? Well, sure. Shit happens, right?! Moral transgressions? Only rarely & usually I felt guilty afterwards. For sure, I never killed anyone. At least, I don't think so. So yeah, pretty much, I think of myself as basically a good person, or a person doing my best to be, to do good. Moral discipline is definitely in my kit-bag, and well, fuck it, there's nothing wrong with it, I mean, fuck, Damn the Torpedoes, Lean to the Light, and let the chips fall where they may...

Truth & Consequences...

Folks #1: Yesterday, a day of pure pleasure. Total leisure, no chores, no rushing from one place to another. Another day in our little secret garden (see previous post). We spent much our time watching the trees swaying, the little birdies flitting about, the rabbits frolicing in the grass, with fabulous music, a gorgeous, improvised in the moment soundtrack drifting thru the air to our hungry ears. It was glorious, restful, recharging, renewing. A very, very good day.

Up early, I come across a stray line of text: 

"... every choice has a moral consequence..."

Yes. Indeed. And if for some reason you think of yourself as a "good person," a person of good standing & of right thought & action, you feel compelled to act with discretion & conviction. Of course, at the same time, you have no idea how any action you take will actually play out. You make choices, and have to live with the consequences both good & bad.

That's how one earns medals & scars, bouquets & brickbats, cheers & jeers, pricks & kicks. You think to yourself that you "don't want to hurt anyone," but, really, sometimes, that is impossible, there is so much that is beyond one's yearning, will, & grasp. Choices. Sticky, tricky choices. Yikes. As per Jean Paul Satre: we are responsible for every last damn thing. Yes, life is often a heavy burden, even in the midst of paradise.

Our Little Secret Garden...

Folk #1: My partner & I are as Pete Townshend sings on Who's Next: "air-conditioned Gypsies." Marginal characters living in a very wealthy, blue-bubble, super-progressive, Midwestern town.  We often roam the neighborhood with our furry, four-legged buddies, and also serve as caretakers at some of the finest homes on the Lakefront. We seem to float above our own humble existence, living in mansions with all the amenities known to the progressive, enlightened wealthy. We are from the "working stiffs," class, basically comfortable, but really, mostly living paycheck to paycheck. Sometimes we feel we can defy gravity, but it's just delusion. 

Anyway, a three day weekend, living in the lap of luxury, my partner and I spent most of yesterday luxuriating in our own little secret garden, surrounded by an impressive stone wall, and filled with beautiful greenery and flowers. A little slice of heaven, especially when the sun is shining down like a benevolent god, bathing us in it's welcoming warmth, with a massive blue sky lording over us. 

We had music on the box, the Japanese band, Mono, the Irish band, Fontaines D.C.  the Canadian expat band, Neil Young & Crazy Horse,  the British band, The Rolling Stones. We engaged in long, rambling conversations about pretty much everything under the sun. It was pure joy. Easy to keep the wolves at bay. To tune out the B.S. To turn away from the ever-unraveling shit-show.

The Best Way Forward...

Folk #1: It's not a three day weekend without my partner & I swimming in a full-blown existential crisis. Time to evaluate, and re-evaluate. Maybe a neccesary exercise? Working that "doom" muscle and seeing if it can still flex? Reviewing life choices, going over early, and late, formative experiences? And, yes, delving deep into those gnarly "de-formative" experiences too. Ha. We are good at getting existential. But then, we can drop that pose in an instant too. Finding we are happy to be alive. Relatively healthy. A roof over heads, still eating, laughing, trying to do our best to be fully alive. We have made fundamental life-choices that have irrevocably defined our lives. Most of our choices have been instinctual, moment to moment, long-form improvisations, with no great design, or plan. Things rolled out, and we jumped from one thing to the next thing. Sure, we can play that fruitless "What if" game, but really, finally, it seems the healthy, soul-enriching thing to do is just embrace all our choices (good & bad), all the diversions, all of the twists & turns, all of the drama & trauma, all of the thunder & hurly-burly, and chalk it up to a wild-ass stew of fate, destiny, luck (good & bad), ignorance & bliss, & the reality of our reality. What are we left with? To be who we are, inhabit our bodies, be here now, as fully & as completely as we can. That just seems like the best way forward. Crisis, and torpedoes, be damned...

A Heretic in the Middle of it All...

Folk #1: "Heretic:" - : one who differs in opinion from an accepted belief or doctrine...

Funny, I feel out of step with my fellow men & women. I stick close to the ground, believe in Reality, Truth, Goodness, and trying to do the right thing. Standing out in a field all alone. That seems natural to me. 

Speaking of natural, I think our greatest "teacher," is Nature. Nature is a hard grader. That's OK. Accepting reality means accepting the weird, strange & contradictory ways of my fellow human beings. And accepting my own quirks & foibles. I gravitate to the things I love to do: read books, listen to music, sip coffee, play guitar, write songs, perform in little dive bars and big concert halls with my friends & fellow musicians. 

I like having a simple job too. Walking dogs. Being a caretaker. Honest work, for an honest buck is fine by me. All of these choices seem to define me, and alienate me from the larger culture. I don't worry about it. I just note it. 

I like writing down my thoughts, feelings, desires, beliefs. Sometimes it's instructive, sometimes, I think, it's just something to do. Getting, along, getting by, trying my best to stay alive, and well, you know, doing my best to enjoy the ride.

Trump's Goons Lose in Court...

 

Folk #1: News close to home. The Broadview Six have triumphed over ICE & Border Patrol. The case was just dismissed with prejudice by the Judge. ICE and BP terrorized the streets of Illinois earlier in the year. ICE/BP assaulted, kidnapped and took folks to a Concentration Camp in Broadview IL. Broadview became a hot-spot for protests. Concerned citizens, members of the clergy & others camped out, raised their voices and protested. They too were assaulted. And then charged with bogus charges. Well, it turns out the case against the Broadview Six just evaporated. A federal judge shut it down saying there was gross misconduct on the part of the Prosecutors. The Prosecutors lied, hid evidnce, and misled the Grand Jury. More crime from Trump's fucking lawless goons. Fuck ICE & BP forever!

Battle of the Times...

Folk #1: Ha. Back to politics this morning. We are now in the phase of this fucked up President & adminstration where the Corruption is now in a fierce battle wih Incompentence. It's a "blood-sport," don't you know, a bloody, gruesome battle to the death. Although this might be a case where corruption & incompetence both win, you know a bloody draw?! We are stuck in the freaking middle, praying the broken pieces of our beautiful country don't come crashing down on our heads. Fuck. Wonder how all turns out? Hope we all make it thru in one piece...

Scientist & Poet...

Folk #1: Delve deeply enough into a subject, it could be headphones & sound waves, medicine & side-effects, human beings & their foibles, history & its lessons, or you know, pretty much anything that you decide to put your focus & attention on; you at first gradually, and then finally quickly, discover that every question you muster up, actually stirs up more questions, and less solid answers to hold close to your chest. You realize, there is scientific inquiry & poetic nuance & interpretation, to pretty much everything you investigate. You are both scientist and poet. You end up with piles of facts, & evidence, & if you are diligent enough to wade through it all, you are forced to make choices using your own poetic, instinctual abilities. And there are tradeoffs to be found at every turn. Coming up with definitive answers is a choice, an art; sort of arbitrary, tentative, it's a shaky, very human art. You then try to build your life on a series of serious choices, but, surprisingly, it's basically a castle made of sand.

Their Racism, Corruption, War-making, & Total Idiocy = Clarifying...

Folk #1: Yes. Our politics of the moment seem really, really bad. The Republicans are shamelessly flaunting their racism, corruption, war-making, and total idiocy, and are blatantly cheerleading for the Epstein Class. I suppose that's clarifying. It helps to see what we are up against. It is all so over the top, it smacks of a clueless hubris and hidden desperation, or you know, clear evidence that Trump & his boot-lickers just don't give a shit. The President is not popular. His favorability polling ranks with Ebola Virus and Tooth Decay. Most of us recoil from that over-stuffed slimeball. Sure, we turn to the Democrats, those brave voices who are telling us this is not the way. We look to the midterms. They glow on the horizon like hot coals of of blind Faith & Hope. It's a kooky system of government, no doubt, but we look forward to November, to vote, like our lives all depend upon it. Voting harder, you know, seems a bit paltry in the face of all this corruption, and idiocy, but, you know, what are the common folks supposed to do? Taking it to the streets? Probably Yes. It is getting that bad...

Caligula, NOT Jesus...

Folk #1: Is there anyone better than Paul Krugman when it comes to explaining Economics or Politics? I think not. Not close. He is my go-to source, and really, he never disappoints. Yes. Caligula, not Jesus...

Caligula: "self-indulgent, cruel, sadistic, extravagant, and sexually perverted thereafter, an insane, murderous tyrant who demanded and received worship as a living god, humiliated the Senate, and planned to make his horse a consul."

NOT...

Jesus: "an itinerant teacher whom his followers believed to possess divine authority in interpreting Jewish law."

"The global scene right now isn’t dominated by a conflict between a rising and a declining superpower, because the declining power is led by a man who has no idea what makes great powers great, is easily distracted by trivia, is focused on self-enrichment and self-aggrandizement, and fantasizes about himself as Jesus. If you want classical analogies, think of America right now as the Roman Empire under Caligula, although Caligula didn’t do anything like as much damage …" - P. Krugman 

Yep. Trump fiddles while the USA burns. Yikes...

The Balloon in China...

Folks #1: How did Trump's visit to China go? Did he impress the Chinese leadership & the people with his charm, grace & intelligence? Was he persasive in advancing America's global interests? Well... hmmm... I think... that... is not the story...

The Secret Sauce...

Folk #1: Ok. In my book, the secret sauce: Being Onto Something. You know, finding the things you Love to do, and then, throwing yourself into doing them as often as you can. Hurl yourself into the things you do with heart, head, spirit aligned. Fully woke and fully engaged, eyes wide open. Sure, you know, listening to music, reading books, playing guitar, writing songs, hanging with the folks you love to hang with. But also just doing simple tasks, menial tasks, even mundane chores. Getting along in the world. Getting out of yourself. Finding freedom in discipline, work, and gladly tackling even gnarly, difficult things. Discovering a sense of accomplishment; a new song, a sparkling-clean, freshly-mopped kitchen floor. Losing yourself, dropping your ego, and meeting the day boldly & gladly. Of course, none of this is rocket science, it's just all experiential, learning a day at a time, trying one's best to live a well-rounded life. Anyway, being onto to something; that would be my great insight, my practical advice, you know, if anyone was silly enough to ask me for advice, a humble pilgrim struggling to be the best human I can be, knowing that I'm just as lost, fucked up & flawed as the next human being.

Things Get Pretty Dicey...

Folk #1: Swimming in the Sea of Madness, big & little forms of madness, near & far. Can't be good for one's own mental well-being. It takes a sturdy, disciplined mind not to indulge in the madness. Some forms of madness might actually be caused by a virus, passed on from one human to another? Is that possible? Maybe. The madness of crowds, the madness of social media, the madness of isolation, the madness of lonliness, the madness of going down too many rabbit holes, too often. Seems madness is contagious. Maybe madness is just bad chemistry? Bad genetics? Bad luck? Don't get too close, you too can get swamped. Maybe so. Best to stay on the shore, keep a healthy distance from the madness. What happens when a civilization, writ large, revels in madness? Hmmm. Things get pretty dicey. Easy to lose one's bearings. Good luck with that.

Less...

Folk #1: Yesterday's burning question: How to increase one's enjoyment of Life? There are probably a million, or more, answers out there. The quite pithy one that tumbled out of my head: Simplify, Simplify, Simplify. You know, simplify in all ways. Less clutter. Less options. Less alternatives. Less churn & hurly-burly. Less words. More silence. Make a few key choices, and stick with them, until they no longer work for you. "Take what you need, and you leave the rest." Long-form improv. Always be open to dropping things from your Life, and picking & choosing the next thing with a sense of discipline & frugality. You are shooting for a stark Clarity & Clear-headedness. Meet the day, the Universe, with a basic kit-bag; just the essentials. Live lightly. We are always in survival-mode. Let the baggage go.

Empathy Slam...

Folk #1: Confronted with the knottiest, thorniest problem you can imagine? It happens often, for some of us, those of us woke to the max, it can happen every day. If you are a super-empathetic person, you know, an Empath, you find you can easily be overwhelmed "...feeling and absorbing other people’s emotions and/or physical symptoms because of their high sensitivities." Yes. That's what I just, this moment, coined an "empathy slam." I have often, in the past, described it as a "people hangover," intoxicated by someone else's feelings & vibes. Turns out the folks closest to me are all Empaths. Get a roomful of Empaths together, toss them a knotty, passionate, human drama & trauma problem/situation, and well, you easily unleash a freaking horricane of emotion & a torrent of thoughts that swamps everyone in it's path. Often, the only solution to this problem with no real good solution? A good night's sleep. If you can possibly get one. You emerge in the darkest of mornings, and realize, "it's not really my problem." It feels like surrender, an abdication, sort of irresponsible, & callous, but really it's just reality. Not everything one sees, hears, and feels, not everything one cares about is one's business. One has to separate oneself, step back, reassess, and take care of one's own business. Self-care means sometimes walking away. Learning & knowing when to not take action, not impose oneself. As Sir Paul once wrote and sang: "Let it Be.'  Yes. This turning away from is humilty in action. Being humble. Letting go. This is me, this is mine, this is not me, this is not mine...

Knottiest of Knots...

Folks #1: Are there some problems that are totally unsolvable? Seems the answer is yes. Or maybe, that is just a perception in the eye of the probllem solver? Maybe there are no good answers or solutions to be had to some problems? Or maybe it is just that all the answers or solutions are so very unsatisfactory to the very shaky Humans trying to deal with the deal? Turns out reality really is reality, and often reality is complicated & murky. Maybe what we perceive as a problem is really just a series of sticky, ugly, gnarly, facts that we need get our heads around? Accepting limits to our understanding & to our own agency, that seems to be a very human thing. It requires clear-seeing & humility. What to do with the knottiest of knots? Maybe all we can do is experiment, and solve for Love, Kindness, Grace & Hope for the Best...

A Casual & Cool Customer...

Folk #1: Dealing with turmoil, drama, trauma, & the highly-stoked, over-amped hurly-burly of an uncertain existence. Oh yeah, that's life. If you aren't careful, you may come down with a bad case of the existential blues. You can quickly dissolve into a murky puddle of indecision & despair. It is important to step back, take a breath, situate yourself a healthy distance from your own seething human snake-pit. Think of your self as a disinterested, casual & cool customer. An observer, a watcher on the scene. Notice your own emotional minefield. Survey, and deactivate, your own hot-buttons. Tame & chain your own personal demons, at least for little awhile, or certainly, long enough to let a certain clarity light up your head & heart space. Remember, although you actually are quite capable of being happy, when even & especially, when alone, you need people, you need healthy human interaction every day. We humans are truly social animals. Sure, sometimes too much interaction with fellow humans can lead to a "people hang-over," that's just baked into the human carnival. And, oh, yeah, when in the thick of it, deep in the throes of a heavy conversation, remind yourself that you don't need to have all the answers, or solutions. You don't need to float your ideas or opinions at the drop of a hat, you don't need to wield your ideas & opinions like swinging a heavy axe. It is not your job to fix everything. In fact, sometimes the absolute best answer is no answer. As they say: "First, do no harm." A good rule to live by. Silence can useful. And then, maybe, upon a studied reflection, a heartfelt, and absolutely truthful declaration: "I don't know, I mean, I have no fucking clue..."  That is clarity. No doubt.

A Turn to Orwell...

“There will be no curiosity, no enjoyment of the process of life. All competing pleasures will be destroyed. But always— do not forget this, Winston— always there will be the intoxication of power, constantly increasing and constantly growing subtler. Always, at every moment, there will be the thrill of victory, the sensation of trampling on an enemy who is helpless.

If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face— forever. ”

― George Orwell, 1984

I remember coming across this cold-blooded passage in Orwell's amazing, masterpiece of a book when I was a fairly innocent lad in High School. Blew my mind. Never been the same since. It reflected the times, then, and for sure, it reflects the times now. I do think it perfectly sums up the meaning & uses of power, and the law, as it manifests & is wielded by the rich, entitled, monied classes in our midst, & across the planet. The powerful ones perpetually beating up on the less powerful ones, forever. Yes. Sure, it's a bit bleak, but sometimes, it is helpful to hit bottom. One can find clarity there, and really, the only sensible way forward after hitting bottom is to rise up.

Time for a New Solidarity...

Folk #1: Class Solidarity. Workers Unite. We are in deep dire straits. We need a full-blown flowering of Solidarity, now, desperately. White, Black, Brown, Red, any shade of Human, it's time to recognize, and actualize the reality that we are joined at the hip & at cross-purposes, at war, really with the Billionaires, & the various Elites in all sectors of society. They do not give a shit about us. We are just in their way. It doesn't matter what tint your flesh happens to be, if you are honest with yourself, if you can cleanse yourself of your base prejudices & biases, it is easy to come to the stark realization that we common ones have a world in common with each other. I call on my fellow "White" brethren to drop the fucking stupid white supremacist B.S. and embrace your brothers & sisters of all races, creeds & colors. Now. It is well past time for a great re-think. We need to re-imagine a real American Dream. A true melting-pot, a glorious & true Rainbow Coalition. A cornucopia of multiculturalism & diversity; radical, fucking woke, and engaged. We need to stand up and renew our Democracy. Boot those elite bastards out. We need a total house-cleaning. A restart. We can do it. Organize, Educate, Stand Up, Speak Up, Protest, Resist, VOTE. Sure. VOTE DEMOCRAT up and down the ticket. The Mid-terms are coming sooner than you think. Fuck it. Damn the torpedoes. It is past time to Reclaim the Dream.

The End is Near...

"...he not busy being born is busy dying..." 

- Bob Dylan (It's Alright Ma, I'm Only Bleeding) - 1965

Folks #1: The End Times are Here. Yes. That has been a sentiment that has been forcefully expressed ever since the Beginning Times. There are Small Endings, & Grand Endings. Creation & Destruction happens every day. We Humans have a short "shelf-life," and the passing of Generations from Young to Old, to Dead & Gone  is always slowly, or sometimes blindingly-quickly passing before our Eyes. One starts to notice the Grand Theme as one navigates through the world. When Young, everything is New & Fresh, just experienceing it all is a full time Adventure. Later in Life, you start to notice much of your Life & Experience is Now the Past. You are Watching & Experiencing the Slow Obsolecence of your very own Cultured Ways of Living. One starts to feel Out of Sync with the Present. It's all probably Natural. Just the Way of the World. The New World you are experiencing seems to be pulling apart at the seams. Shit is breaking down, worlds are crashing, dreams are vanishing. What you thought you knew, doesn't seem to be working any more. A re-think may be in order. Re-think fast, or give it up. The End Times are Here Now. You either get with it, or turn away. Both are survival tactics. You do your best to Survive, until that is no longer tenable or possible...

My Beloved Failed State...

Folk #1: My first question that I posed to myself upon rising this morning: "What is a failed state?" 

You know, thinking about the present administration, and the tenor & tone of today's USA. Every day another outrage, another story of failure, incompetence & corruption. Our government & business leaders seem to be totally uninterested in a well-functioning country. There isn't a hint of any semblence of professionalism, honor or integrity to be found with these crooks & scoundrels. Instead, it's all just a fucking scam-fest.

These folks are using the government coffers, our hard-earned tax dollars, as a damn feeding trough. Yikes. What happens when you elect a convicted felon, one who never owned up to their crimes, one who never asked for forgiveness, or accepted any responsiblity? Think: "widespread corruption and criminality." Yes. Trending towards a full-on failed state. My Beloved USA. Bingo. Fuck. 

Lessons...

Folk #1: Some things we've learned recently. The Serious People aren't very Serious, the Smart People aren't very Smart, & the Dumb People are really, really Dumb. All this desperate & idiotic flailing & failing is totally predictable & understandable. Humans really do seem to have a deep, in the bone, dogged capacity to hold onto a loud, stubborn, furiously-blind Stupidity in the face of any Truth or Reality. It is quite impressive. What's a poor, Humble Pilgrim to do in the face of this mega-idiocy on steroids? Step lightly, keep your head, hold onto the stair-rail, keep your eyes forward, be careful out there...

The Best is Free...

"The best things in life are free

But you can give them to the birds and bees"

-Money (That’s What I Want)

Barrett Strong

Folk #1: Yes. But, of course, the best things in Life are free. Yesterday, we experienced a little glimpse of Paradise. Easy to tune out the swirling madness of the unraveling shit-show. It helps that we live in a progressive, blue-bubble town. If there are any MAGA fascists here, they are laying low. Not visible. 

Sunny, blue sky, perfect temps in the 70's, a slight breeze off the lake; the day embraced & carressed my friend and I, as we found ourselves basking in the tall grass in front of a historic residence bounded by big trees, with newly sprouted green leaves softly swaying all around us.

Yes. The best things in the Life are free: a casual, aimless conversation with a good friend, a friendly smile from a stranger on the path, dragon flies buzzing the air above us, a child's laughter, tracking the birds flying  dipping and swirling, our own silly, uncommon, laughter emerging from our own mouths, an overwhelming joy surging through our bodies. We were both surprised to discover that we were happy & content just to revel in the moment, to moment. The day seemed to stand still for a bit, just to let us luxuriate in being alive.

You can't put a price on moments, events, beautiful experiences, like that. The best, for sure. Free, of course.

An Instructive Time...

Folk #1: It's ugly out there. Beautiful too. It depends on where you put your attention. The times are demanding that those of us who are committed with all of our hearts, heads & spirits aligned, to be fully "Woke," and to get even more fully "Woke," in the face of the racist, whiny, entitled, Rat Bastards amongst us. It is very instructive time in which to live. I do love tracking with intelligent, empathetic, optimistic & hopeful folks. Yes. They are out there. Diamonds in the rough. These are the times that test one's fortitude & discipline. Keeping our heads, keeping our feet on the ground, valuing truth, honesty, reality, and good cheer. Damn the Rat Bastards. It will not end well for them. Damn the Torpedoes too. Lean to the Light. Cultivate kindness and a radical empathy. Commit to the Good Work. Fuck yeah.

The Antidote to the Shite...

Folk #1: Lucky for us, we can turn to other things. We write songs & play our own original music with an incredible band of musicians. We gathered a few of them together late yesterday for a rehearsal. We ran through songs for two hours. We unveiled two new songs. We organized ourselves in a tight-knit little circle, and locked in with each other. It's what we think of as "the good work."  It's always thrilling & fun, even when it's clunky. Usually the "clunky-ness" is just a working thru some tricky parts. It's part of the process. We can all get a little wild & unruly in the rehearsal room, it's one of the kicks of playing with accomplished musicians. We can let loose, ride the storm, and make it sound pretty damn good. We live for it. No doubt. We feel like we are doing what we are meant to be doing. We do love to play for an audience, but there is something unique and even more "personal," about gathering in a room with no audience, and connecting with a group of dedicated musicians, creative souls all. It's a just completely pure experience. It's the antidote to the shite unfolding all around us. Nothing better. Together we create an energy, a vibe that transcends the mundane. It is sort of a mystery, not sure how it all works, & we really don't want to overthink it. The main thing is to totally commit to the doing. To play really is the thing. For two hours we just completely lost ourselves in the most exquisite way. It's a beautiful, inspiring, thrilling way to spend one's time.

The Road of Excess...

Folk #1: Ok. How to talk about the madness? That question has been swimming around in my consciousness for awhile now. How to explain the shit-show to myself? How to understand our present trainwreck reality?

I flash on one of William Blake's maxims from The Marriage of Heaven & Hell: The road of Excess leads to the Palace of Wisdom. Yes. But what about the casualties along the way?

Yikes. There was a time when that line was appealing to me. I think of it now as one of  the go-to mottos of my "sex, drugs & r&r" years.  As they say, "youth is wasted on the young."  Now, of course, many of my past adventures seem silly to me; off the mark, dead-ends & cul de sacs, lots of flailing & failing. 

Luckily, I made it thru mostly unscathed, without too much damage, trauma or drama. Ok. Some damage, some drama, some trauma. Sure, I burned quantities of time & brain-cells. Maybe there were valuable lessons along the way? Maybe. It turns out that fun isn't what it's cracked up to be. 

You learn what you really want to do with your life, and what you really don't want to do with your life. Our time on the planet is limited. If we are lucky, we have the chance to learn about proportion, limits, guardrails, picking & choosing wisely. Living lightly & with clarity.

What happens when a whole culture seems to revel & wallow in the excess? All levels of government, business, pop culture consumed with over-amped bravado & cheap thrills; gambling, drugs (illicit & licit), sex, money, lies, stupidities, violence, and racism? What happens when everyone goes off the deep end at the same time? "I want what I want & I want it now!" Like little grown-up babies. Denying reality & gravity at our own peril. Is there Wisdom at the end of this gaudy, cultural debauch? How many lives will be ruined in the process? How many carcasses left on the road? Is that any way to conduct one's life? If we make it thru, maybe, hopefully, we somehow come to a certain hard-won Wisdom? Hmmm... I think the jury is still out...

Frenzy of Irrationality...

Folk #1: Ok. Maybe I'm seeing everything in the wrong way? Trying times. Difficult times. Extraordinary times. The current situation of our collective situation, sort of challenges everything I think & believe. Every day, I seem to notice that I am deeply out of sync with they ways of the world. I am disappointed in my Country, in the Government, in the broader Culture. I am not really down with the drift of my fellow Human Beings. There seems to be a frenzy of irrationality alive in the world. Is it crazy to think that most of us have lost of our fucking minds? And still, we go on, furiously consuming everything in our paths. I get up early the morning, peruse the passing scene, sip my coffee, and I wonder to myself: "What to Believe?" So, yeah, maybe being confronted with trying, difficult, extraordinary times is useful? Maybe the trick is to use the challenge as a tool? I believe in believing in something. I have concluded it is important for me, personally, to find meaning & purpose in my day to day. I am making it up as I go along. The basics: I believe in a Better Day. I believe in Humilty, The Good. I believe in Reality & Truth. I believe our lives are long-form improvisations. I believe that we Human Beings are fallible, arbitrary, complicated, contradictory & temporary. I believe in Work. I believe in applying myself to the tasks at hand, and doing the best I can, with what I have. Lately, I find myself being pushed into a Radical Empathy. All the madness, cruelty, & suffering that Humans are inflicting upon each other seems intolerable. I am aligned with Nature, with Love, with Responsibility. It looks like my conception of the world is melting before my eyes. I suppose it's an opportunity to sculpt out, to conjure up, my own very personal vision of Clarity. I am not down with this shite. Still, I carry on.

The Always Unraveling Shit-Show, Right Now...

"People who shut their eyes to reality simply invite their own destruction, and anyone who insists on remaining in a state on innocence long after that innocence is dead turns himself into a monster.” - James Baldwin

Folk #1: Yes. Indeed. Are you watching the relentless, always unraveling Shit-Show perpetrated by the Trump Adminstration? Sure. You want to fucking tune it all out. But it is your duty to watch, observe, note; to take in all the idiocy, corruption, & banditry of this grotesque collection of fucks, thugs, & creeps.  It is astonishing. The level of incompetence & depravity flowing from this crew is absolutely breath-taking. It is happening in all departments, all levels. You want to turn away. You don't really want to take in the carnage. But you must take it in. It is your responsibility as a thinking Human Being.

Human Drama & Trauma. Oh, Well...

"He tried to do his best, but he could not..." - Neil Young (Tired Eyes).

Folk #1: Aye. There's the rub. Here we are. Born into Paradise. Taking it totally for granted. Still, doing our best to make it day to day. Sometimes hitting the target, often falling short. That's the Human drama & trauma. There is something noble in trying to be a good person, despite the odds & circumstances. Keeping perspective. Being philosophical. Aware, alive, awake. Classic dichotomy we traverse: Failure vs. Success. Ultimately we are all graded on a curve. No perfection here. Every win is a loss too. Strange how that works. Knowing when to jump into the fray, knowing when to refrain. Noise & Silence vying with each other. There is "Yes," and there is "No."  Picking & choosing. Being careful, and boldly passionate too. Cool, calm, collected. Totally engaged & committed. WTF. Embracing Life, no matter what. Yes.

Ridiculous...

Folk #1: Question of the morning: How did it all get so ridiculous? The news, the humans, the freaking world? It's a head-scratcher, The Theatre of the Absurd writ large. One can't help feeling like a Samuel Beckett character trapped in a Shakespearean tragedy. It's an odd life, in an odd world. There are people in positions of great power who are supposed be smarter than me, who are definitely not smarter than me,  doing really stupid, corrupt, silly shite. Still, one must carry on, one must pretend that it's all going to work out fine. Why? Well, just because. "I can't go on... I must go on..."

A Long-Form Collaboration with the Universe...

Yes. This book by the "legendary music producer," Rick Rubin: "The Creative Act: A Way of Being," is a good read. Anyone "being creative," which includes all of us, will get something from it. It is a bit of a philosophical/spiritual tract, a manifesto, a long-form essay, a unargumentative argument for being a Creative Being & Being Creative & living a Creative Life. Rick makes the case that we are here to manifest ourselves in collaboration with the Universe. When we create anything, a conversation, a building, a novel, a song, whatever, we are dipping into, and bringing forward, ideas from the Source, and manifesting that inspiration forward into the world. I like to say,  doing the creative work is "the good work;" a discipline, a process, a mission, that gives our lives meaning & purpose. And by doing the work, we transform our selves, and our lives. Powerful shite. Rubin delves deep into the subject, and shines a light on all its various, angles & contradictions. It's a pretty definitive discussion of the subject and shows the way that creativity can emerge, be channeled, & ebbs & flows. It's a bit of a "how-to," manual, but it's put forward as a long-form suggestion, "take what you need, and leave the rest." I took most of it in. Most of the book totally resonates with my own lived experience. For me there were no great surprises, I feel like I have "lived this book," throughout my very own long-form, creative journey; writing stories, poems, plays, putting on plays, performing, directing, and then, writing songs, organizing bands, rehearsing, performing & recording. It's a way of Life a way of Being. The best kind. So, yes, for me, this is quite the validating book. Rubin also brings a Zen-like quality to his Life & his writing, he embodies a kind of spiritual practice that shines through every sentence. Yes. And his dedication to meditation, to observing & learning from Nature, hits home too. I too use this two-pronged approach in my creative practice. Anyway, I do recommend the book, I think it will appeal to pretty much anyone. My only little quibble, this kind of all encompassing, grand vision seems a little too neat. I tend to retreat to the shadows. I don't like to over-think my creative process. My creative process is sort of a mystery to me, and I want to keep it that way. Some how, some way it works for me. Every time a riff, a lyric, comes, it's a surprise. It's an organic method, inspiration just emerges. Usually my best work comes from my subconcious pool of being. I am always trying to get out of my head & into another realm, the realm of pure creativity. Rick acknowledges that approach too. The book is quite magnificent in it's very own unique way.

The Ever-Unfolding Train-wreck America...

Folk #1: Their total incompetence & blatant corruption is going to catch up to them.Welcome to Trump-land. It's an ugly, cruel, violent, stupid place. Remember it is the Republicans who insist everyone should be armed with weapons of every kind. It is Republicans who support ICE terrorizing folks, shooting folks in the street, and hustling kids, grandmas, and hard-working folks off to concentration camps, or deporting them to distant lands. The rest of us can see the deep immoral flaws and inhumanity in those ideas. It's getting crazier by the day. We are definitely living in a Banana Republic. One can only gaze in wonder at the relentless, on-going unraveling of America. A violent train-wreck every day & night. 24/7 madness. Yikes.

How to Be Decent?

Folk #1: You know, I don't think it's that hard. What does it take to be a decent Human Being? Kindness, gentleness, awareness, a sense of responsibility, doing what you said you were gonna do, basically, being reliable, truthful, feet on the ground, open to learning, being curious about the world and other people, being creative, improvisational, willing to admit you are wrong when you are wrong, willing to change your mind in the face of evidence & reality, being humble, willing to help others, trying your best to do a good job, staying busy & engaged, being vigiliant about your biases, your prejudices, your blind-spots, keeping your shit together, guarding against your own bloated sense of importance, learning from Nature, spending time mediating, or contemplating the passing scene, taking care of yourself and others. Leaning to the Light, finding meaning in your Life & the Universe. Sure, it's a day to day proposition. Never take anything for granted. Watch your step, always hold the rail going down the stairs, be careful to nuture yourself with good food, drink, being super-vigilant about the drugs you put into your body. Hone a reliable sense of humor, don't take it all too seriously. It's Life. A Life. Do your best.

Clear the Noise, Take Care...

Folk #1: Supposedly, we humans are born with two innate fears: fear of falling and fear of loud noises. All of the other fears that we carry around with us are learned behaviors. Can we do a reboot? Can we clear our internal space of all these other learned fears? How do it? Who knows?! Maybe just knowing that those are the two go-to fears, the primal, essential ones, the basics that we need for pure survival, we can evaporate all the other noisy fears out of our personal space? Living with less fear, more clarity. Most days I have a go-to mantra that I repeat to myself: "Don't hurt yourself." Most of my wounds & scars have come from self-sabotage; poor choices, bad luck, wrong-place, wrong-time, you know, accidents & incidents. Taking care of ourselves should be priority #1; trying our best to eat well, sleep well, being fully-engaged in the Universe, aware & progressively-woke, avoiding the toxic people, toxic ideas and toxic scenes all around us. Living well seems essential to a well-rounded existence. It's a process, a long-form improv, a day to day experiment. We must do our best to take care of ourselves and the others close to us as we navigate this tricky, complicared world. It seems that it is easy to lose ourselves; to fall off the path, to get stuck, to take stupid, self-defeating detours. Often we are our own worst enemies. It is easy to become fractured, disengaged, clumsy, unthinking, lonely, isolated, on automatic-pilot, just going thru the motions. That is not the way to do it.