A Working Towards...

You didn't realize it for a long time...

You work. You play. You rehearse. You practice. You spend a lot of time in focused and intense sessions with other folks who also, play, rehearse, and practice.

You "try to master your instrument." But you realize "mastery" is a mystery. You will never master anything. There is only the "working towards." You play. You do your best. You look for happy accidents. You create moments. You live inside those moments.

What you didn't realize -  the journey has not been about complexity, it has not really been about technique, technique is good, technique is a given, you need to know the fundamentals, you need to develop a "good practice," and always be committed to that practice - but you have always been working towards a casual simplicity, a confident ease. 

Saying less, or only the essential, but saying it with a pure, crystalline intelligence. Every gesture, pose, word, note, chord - every little thing - is everything in a nutshell. The silences around the gesture, pose, word, note, chord are just as important as the essential thing.

And sometimes you luck into this casual simplicity. And "the luck" is a byproduct of the approach. If you pay attention, you can prepare and make yourself more open to those moments of luck. That's what you are doing. That's why you are doing what you are doing.