Unfathomable Evil

A series of horrific events. Unfathomable.  You reach for words. You like words. Words are powerful, magical, they help you understand and describe the world and yourself.  But words sometimes seem inadequate. They both reveal and obscure.  Still you have this compulsion to somehow process these events of horror.  They are a challenge to you, they are a challenge to your understanding of the world.

So words flow out: horror, evil, extremist, terrorist, foreigner, sick, twisted, psychopath, sociopath, loser, alienation, rage, hate, fundamentalist, nihilist. All of these words seem inadequate. You can employ them, and they describe something, but explain nothing.  Really. You are left with certain unexplainable events.  They don't add up. They make no sense.

And you are left with carnage, pain, death, loss, suffering.  And it turns out the perpetrators of these horrific acts are human beings. Kids. Just kids. We can try to put them in a different box, but they are young human beings.  You want to make them something else, maybe it's sort of an irrational guilt by association, you don't want to be in the human race if these are the acts of fellow human beings.

So back to words.  I rarely use the word "evil," it seems so charged, and it is a word that reveals and conceals at the same time. But it is a powerful word. Maybe it will do. But this evil resides in the acts of kids... 

e·vil  

/ˈēvəl/

Adjective Profoundly immoral and malevolent.

Noun Profound immorality, wickedness, and depravity, esp. when regarded as a supernatural force.

Synonyms adjective.   wicked - bad - ill - vicious - malign - sinister noun.   harm - ill - mischief - wrong - disaster - wickedness

Categorizing People Is Part of the Problem!

We split up people. We all do it. We categorize.  We create these little "us and them" categories. Some of this is just a way to identify yourself, to figure out who you are, and to identify others, to figure out how you are different from others. We do it all the time. We do it in an unconscious, blink of the eye manner.

Some of this is just biology. Some of it's probably a survival thing.  "This person is like me, I'm probably safe."  Or "This person is not like me, I might not be safe."

There are an infinity of characteristics we use to make these decisions.  This can be useful, but can also lead to all kinds of problems.  This "us and them" thing allows us to see each other as categories, or as a collection of characteristics, and not as complete human beings.

Really, most of the categories are arbitrary, cosmetic.  

I think there are really only two questions (The Mother of All Categories!) we need to ask when we consider another human being and they probably take time, observation over time, are difficult to discern, and probably can't make it in a snap judgement kind of way: 

1. Do they intentionally try to alleviate the suffering of others? These are the best amongst us.
2. Do they intentionally try to increase the suffering of others? These are the least amongst us.

The Stupidity of Proverbs Leads to Some Kind of Stupid Wisdom! Be Wise, Be Stupid!

This post from Bruce Sterling regarding Žižek on Proverbs is enlightening.  Finding posts like this one is one of the reasons I love the internet. Of course there are reasons to hate the internet too.  

The love: There is a vast sea of voices, an over-stuffed ocean of amazing, confounding and numbing Tower of Babel-like conversations just a few keystrokes away.

The hate: there's lots of dreck and time-wasting garbage too. Our task is to surf like a master surfer boy, and to find the hidden gems. Here's Žižek on the stupidity of proverbs:

“If, finally, one simply gets perplexed by all these reversals and claims: “Life is an enigma, do not try to penetrate its secrets, accept the beauty of its unfathomable mystery!” the result is, again, no less profound than its reversal: “Do not allow yourself to be distracted by false mysteries that just dissimulate the fact that, ultimately, life is very simple – it is what it is, it is simply here without reason and rhyme!”

“Needless to add that, by uniting mystery and simplicity, one again obtains a wisdom: “The ultimate, unfathomable mystery of life resides in its very simplicity, in the simple fact that there is life.” ”

While We Can

Up early, drinking coffee, listening to the radio.  And it's all death all the time on the radio this morning.  The Iron Lady has turned to rust, and is being laid to rest.  And the victims of the bombs in Boston are being mourned.  

There's actually a story on the radio that reminds us that death waits for us all, and there's just no getting around it!

Good Morning!  

You do sometimes wonder if maybe you could be the exception. Maybe there is some way you can get out of it. Maybe death will just overlook you, somehow you will skate.  Maybe that's why we like that Jesus myth.  If he shook off the mortal coil, and then rocketed up to another realm, well, that's kind of cool, isn't it? And maybe there's a slim possibility we can do it too.

That's a pretty slim reed to stake your hopes on.  So yes, death. It's coming, for sure, no doubt.  So, we must get on with living while we can.

Reason with That!

I despise, (maybe despise is a little strong), that handy saying that people like to use: "Everything happens for a reason." It is usually spoken with a smug grin, in an all-knowing tone. It's usually spoken when something good happens ("See, I just knew there was a plan, a purpose."), but it's also spoken when something bad happens ("See, there are forces greater than us at work."). It implies that everything is reasonable, everything can be explained. That everything makes sense.

People use it like it is an explanation itself. Or as if it's the last word on some event or happening. It implies that everything that happens is "reasonable." And we know this is absolutely not true.  There are some things that aren't reasonable and can't be reasoned with or away. And some times when we come up with an explanation for events, the explanation explains nothing.

If you believe in the chain of causation, you might say that "every event has a cause, or that every event has a preceding event." That might be closer to the truth of our reality. But it's not very enlightening.

So maybe I strongly dislike the "everything happens for a reason" formulation because it's just a lousy sentence, and doesn't actually mean what people think it means. And it explains nothing!

There are many things that happen for no good reason. Things that are not reasonable. We can trace back some events to some intial "cause," but the cause doesn't necessarily explain anything.  Sometimes shit happens, really bad shit happens (or really good shit happens), and we construct a chain - this happened, and then this happened, and then this happened... 

And we may be able to trace an event to some cause, but sometimes there is no good reason for a particular event.  Unreasonableness and irrationality and chaos, are built into this universe.  We are left to reason with that! So yes, everything happens, and then we grapple for reasons afterwards!

The Gift that's Given

There is so much you are "given." We don't know who or what is the giver. We can speculate. And we do.

We are given this body. Which grows and changes. With all it's special features. A complex structure of organs that work together.  You try to maintain it. Treat it well. But it's on it's own trajectory. And it develops and morphs to a hidden plan.

There's also this "dream-world" that emerges, is given to you, when you sleep. It's this vast land of images that bubble up unbidden. You awake and try to process, or try to forget. You are a witness. A participant in events that seem to be conjured up by another hand.

You are given this gift of life.  It's an amazing, renewing gift. It's stunning. It's all consuming. It's mind-blowing. But there are no instructions. The purpose, the mission, the reason of this gift isn't explained. Although you will get lots of advice and "guidance," from everyone. And can watch what others do with their gifts.

The gift comes wrapped in a mystery. It is an enigma. You use the gift as best you can. But you are never sure if you are using it wisely or foolishly, or if your use of it, is to the point, or besides the point. You just don't know. You can never really be sure. And really, know one else can tell you.

The Fellow Travelers

There are some people you know in this world, this big old world stuffed with people and things; there are some people you know, not many, probably not even a "handful," who you can rightly call "fellow travelers."  They are on a journey, just like you are on a journey. It's not the same journey, the particulars, the times and places and choices and results are different, but the general thrust or gist of the journey is very similar. 

They are creative, they are adventurers, they are always trying new things, and doing new things, and making interesting, challenging choices. And you always check in with each other, just to see how the journey is unfolding. These are people you are so aligned with - spiritually, creatively. They laugh and smile and talk about the difficulties of their lives as so much mulch that will be discarded or used to fuel another creative break-through. And there are always "successes" too. And they are mulch too.

And these folks are so alive.  The flame inside, their "inner light" is blazing away.  This is unusual, and inspiring to see. And it's an echo and reflection of your inner world too.  It's kind of validating. And the flame, the light has affinity with flames and light, and they feed each other. So sometimes we get together. Sometimes we sit at a table, we share food, we talk, we laugh, we check in with each other.

It's sort of a ritual, sort of ritualistic, but it's done as just the most simple, logical thing to do. Still it's really almost sacramental. But there's no pomp, no circumstance. No posing. It's a holy, beautiful thing. But it's as simple and clean and pure as a green scarf. A shining pair of blue eyes. A beautiful, truly genuine smile. A warm, soulful hug.

We walk away with a feeling of renewal. We may not know exactly where we are all going. But that's okay. We will have more to share the next time. No matter what happens.

Keef Master of His Own Realm

I re-fired up my obsession with the Stones. Trying out that open G tuning and working on playing like Keith... here's the Stones in Shanghai doing "Gimme Shelter." When you watch Keith in action, you realize that he's kind of like the cat who ate the canary. He found the secret to playing guitar, he simplified it, and then mastered that simplification. He makes it look easy. He re-thought how to play guitar and made it his own. He plays like no one else. You can try it too. But it won't make you Keef!

  

This is Satisfying!

We have a Rolling Stones Tribute show coming up in June.  A bunch of performers will do a bunch of Stones songs.  Looking forward to it.  There is an amazing collection of great songs to consider.

This is probably my all-time favorite cover version of a Stones song... PJ Harvey and Bjork do "Satisfaction."  So freaking great! I think if you are going to cover a classic song, the best approach is to do a "re-think!" Nice re-think!

Deepen!

That's the problem with my visionary states.  I'm always a little confused by my own visions.  Or,  I guess I'm not confused by the visions, but I'm uncertain what to do with them.  I'm entertained and amused by them, but then, what are the next steps? WTF do I do?

Do I step off the cliff? Do I hitch a ride on the next cloud?

And about these voices that "come to me." I don't think I'm insane. Or no more insane than the next guy, who frankly, is probably pretty damn insane, so, I guess, I'm basically as insane as the next guy, so yes, I'm probably at least that insane, I mean, kind of a little bit.

But it's not the drooling kind.

So this latest missive (see previous post) from the mists, "Deepen Your Heart."  How to do it? I'm game.  I get the sense that the deepening just happens.  And maybe it's just that I must pay attention.  Acknowledge the deepening.  Go with it.

So yes, okay. I get it. I got it. Deepen.

Deepen Your Heart!

Extreme states: Bleary & Weary.  Combined that would make one BLWEARY!

A very long sleep.  It's the only cure.  And in the middle of a long, restful and refreshing sleep, a voice comes to me.  And what does that voice say?

"Deepen your heart!"

Slogging through the day.

Clear or not. Doesn't matter. Some days it's a slog no matter what. Yesterday was that slog for me. It was like I was in a triathlon.  Except I didn't wear a number on my chest. And there was no competition. And there was no prize money. And there were only two events. And one of them was walking, not running. So I guess it really wasn't much like a triathlon at all.

Just a lot of slogging through the day. The trick was to survive it in one piece. Which I did. And I did try to make it a game that I was playing. Or was assigned to play. Or maybe I was just a game piece that was being moved about by a greater hand than mine. But really I had to do all the work, expend all the energy. So I guess the game was mine.

I must own it. So I played the game. I walked. I biked. I zigged and zagged through the neighborhood like a drunk ant. I was actually paid for my effort. So I guess I was just doing my job. And I did it. And at the end of the day I was bone-tired, dead-tired, bleary-eyed. 

But I made it through all that slogging.  I slogged. And then got home and slept like a drunk puppy. And now, this morning, I'm awake and drinking coffee. And thinking about doing it all again today. Yes. Well. That's the game right now. And I must play!

"Do not seek and you shall find."

"Clear consciousness." It can be sort of addictive.  The State of Clarity. I do think years of meditation have helped me learn to love clarity.  It's funny, if you meditate daily, you have these moments of deep clarity, but you sometimes think that those moments are fleeting, and then the day begins, and then you are filled with the things of the day, and that state of clarity is somehow dissipated. 

But subtly, secretly, over time, that clarity becomes something you carry with you, something you can rely on.  I'm not claiming "diamond consciousness" for myself.  The sages and holy men tell us that some kind of super consciousness is possible.  Don't know about that, and it's not something I'm looking to achieve.  

And maybe that "not looking" is important too. I just meditate. Simple steps: Sit quietly. Breathe. Still the mind. Visualize another reality. A few moments every day.

I no longer feel alienated from the world. I no longer seek the "cloud of unknowing," I no longer look for a numb oblivion. I love clear consciousness. I am so happy to have discovered it. I love clarity.  But I don't take it for granted. I know it can vanish in a moment. But at the same time, I know that it is there. It's available to me.

It's not really "Seek and you shall find." but "Do not seek, and you shall find."  

"I can still hear you saying, we will never break the chain..."

Yes, well, what is the "chain of causation?" The legal definition - "a series of events, each of which was caused by the immediately previous event."

This seems pretty all encompassing.  And what about that butterfly flapping it's wings in Mumbai this second? Is it the "cause" of my eye-blink this second?

And can you "break the chain?" Can you step out of the chain? And start your own chain? Or are these chains of causation the ties that bind us? Is the chain a shackle or a bracelet?

I had a revelatory dream. I was in the backseat of a car, and the driver of the car was a very important person. A very important person in my life. Arguably the most important person in my life, or at least, for sure, the first or second most important person in my life.

Now this person happens be dead. And I haven't seen or heard from them in a long time.  Anyway, I was happy to see them. But they were driving the car, and they were driving erratically. No madly. They were driving madly out of control. Driving like they really didn't know how to drive.

And I was helpless and frantic in the backseat. I had no steering wheel. No gas pedal. I had nothing, except a seat in the vehicle.  I woke up and realized this was a problem. A problem in my life. That person driving was a key link in my chain. And I needed to break that chain.  I needed my own car. 

I needed to have my own steering wheel and gas pedal.  When I woke up I started trying to imagine what kind of car I should "own." This was a difficult problem. And I wrestled with it most of the day. I was walking down the street with my lovely companion, we passed a new car show room. My companion pointed in the window and said, "There's your car!" I looked. Yes, that was it. It was a Japanese model.  It was called INFINITY!

"I can still hear you saying, we will never break the chain..."

Long line of "Causation" Rolling out Like a Great Oriental Carpet!

The cosmic tumblers clicked into place. And that long line of "causation" just rolled out like a big old oriental carpet; it rolled out (I'm leaving a few things out) from the Big Bang, to the Dinosaurs, to monkeys descending from the trees, to The French Revolution, to Hiroshima and Nagasaki, to Nixon, to Vietnam, to the Internet, to a conversation about causality in the little park next to Lake Michigan.

My good friend, the one I affectionately call the Desiccated Old Blackbird and I, were speaking of the secret patterns of the universe. And we both agreed that everything had to happen just as it did to put us in that little park in that particular moment on that particular afternoon. Every flap of a butterfly's wings, every swish of a willow tree, every exploding star, every swirling galaxy, had brought us to that particular, singular moment.

You have to shake your head in silent wonder. You have to marvel at the long dizzying chain of existence. Our conversation unfolded, and we realized we were both reading the same book (Patti Smith's "Just Kids") at the same time, and were almost exactly in the same place in the same book at the same time. Weird. Strange. Cool. Amazing. Baffling.

We talked about parallel universes too. And it just seemed like the planet started spinning just a little faster. Spinning just like my little head was spinning. We parted ways. Changed. And then that chain of causation just kept clicking along.

There is a tempo, a reason, a plan, a destiny, a reality.  We just have to hold on and experience, embody and watch the great unfolding. And we play too. We unfold too.

Roger Ebert - More Than a Thumb!

Wow. This little video via Kim Morgan, pretty much shows/explains why Roger Ebert was one of our finest writers, a writer who just happened to write about movies. Ebert was a passionate, intelligent writer who could really convey his passion and intelligence when he was discussing movies. I always liked Ebert. He seemed like a genial, funny guy. He seemed to love movies, and he often conveyed that love in way you could get your head around. The public reaction to his death confirms that he was loved by lots and lots of people who knew him, and lots and lots of people who didn't know him. That's a pretty nice tribute.

I didn't read him often enough. I always thought the Chicago Sun Times was a terrible newspaper. I always thought that  the whole "thumbs up, thumbs down" thing was silly and stupid. And it was a shorthand way of looking at movies that reduced all that passion and intelligence into a simple gesture of a thumb.  It may have helped make Ebert a celebrity, but it was a disservice to his art. Anyway, Kim Morgan reads one of Ebert's reviews in this video.  And you are reminded that Ebert could really, really write...

Change!

Change. Yes, change. I can see it. Feel it. Know it. And still have no idea what it means, where it will lead.

Armed to the Teeth - Oh Yeah, What a Great Idea!

The NRA is truly a malevolent organization.  They are using a tragedy to promote more gun sales.  They want to arm teachers! What malicious, mendacious fools.

I think back to my school years.  If Sister Mary Aquanata had been armed, I'm pretty sure I would not have made it out of 3rd grade. I mean, I'm just speculating here. The Good Sister was a servant of the Lord, but she had a temper, and she was not a happy camper, and I was a little trouble-maker, I was definitely a thorn in her side.

I mean, it was clear that she had already concluded that I was just a little snot-nosed sinner on my way to hell.  What would be the harm of sending me on my way sooner, rather than later?

Put a weapon in her hand (I mean besides that ruler that she wielded like a sword), and only God knows what could have happened.  I mean, a Sister Mary Aquanata armed with an assault rifle and a multi-round clip is quite a righteous picture. Teachers turning guns on their students?! Unthinkable? Think again.

Luckily I never had to face an armed to the teeth Sister Mary Aquanata. God Bless!

Alan Watts - Enlightened Being!

Alan Watts. Enlightened being. I first came across Alan in the early 70's. Read some of his books on Buddhism. He was one of the first to "popularize" Eastern methods to the West. I remember going to a dingy old movie-house to see a film about Watts and meditation. I forget the film, but I remember the last scene. Watts just laughed and laughed and laughed. What a presence. What a voice. He seemed to embody East and West in his being. Maybe that British accent added to his aura. Anyway there's a cool site devoted to Alan Watts!

And here's a cool little video where Alan explains how we truly are "one with the universe!" Pass the word!

A Peak Experience

Yes, the show over the weekend was a good one. That doesn't really capture it. There were moments that were truly "peak" experiences.  Everything converged at the right time to make certain moments exactly perfect.  Didn't even know that was possible.

And we learned/experienced some things that we didn't even know we could learn. We didn't even know that what we learned was possible. And it's not really anything I can pass on to someone else. You truly have to experience what we experienced to understand what we experienced.

The particulars of time and place don't really matter. I mean, it had to be that time and place, but the "perfection" of those moments transcends any time and place.  It's weird and cool.  A peak experience is just a peak experience. It was unexpected. And not something that can just be conjured up.

It kind of snuck up on us. Which made it even more mind and spirit expanding.  It happened the way it happened when it happened.  That's something.