I was in a conversation and this sentence came up: "I wish I was as good as he is at disciplining his dog." Yikes. That made the hair on my neck stand up.
The whole concept of "disciplining a dog" creeps me out. I have lived with dogs all my life. I am not saying I am an expert, but I have lots of hands on experience (both as an amateur & professional) living & hanging with many breeds, types, sizes, personalities of dogs.
What is my approach? Think of it as the St. Francis of Assisi Method. Caretaker & Friend to the Dog World. Ha. Not saying I am Saint-like, but I try to walk the walk of Grace, Kindness, Encouragement. Leaning to nurturing, loving, friendly.
How to relate to dogs? Honestly, carefully, consistently. Lots of smiles, terms of endearment. You know, lead by example? Walk and talk with a quiet confidence.
Very rarely do I raise my voice. Maybe once in awhile a firm "no," or a tug on the leash. That's pretty much it. Pretty gentle. Instead, I am always armed with a kind word and a treat at the ready. I try to tune into my dog-buddies. I think they tune-into me too.
I do know a few dogs who like to rough-house a bit; they like to wrestle and play. You can play being the "big-dog" with them, and they will love you for it. It can fun and entertaining.
Turns out if you give a dog your best, they will return it. Friend for life. No doubt. There have been a few exceptions over the years. I have had one or two dogs who took one look at me, and no way, no how, were we going to develop a relationship. Gnarly, agressive, violent. Their history, their trauma, their choice. You know, you have to "listen" to the dog. Sometimes all it takes is one look and you and they "know."
Some dogs have been thru such deep trauma, they may be unreachable. Or you know a long-term project? Not my thing. I find that the "problem" dogs usually have "problem" owners. A sticky wicket.
A couple days ago, my partner and were sitting under a tree, our bicycles laying in the tall grass. A woman and her sweet old dog walked by. The dog stopped in her tracks, took one look at me, and immediately sidled up to me, sat down and offered her paw. How did she know I was a friend? Beats me. Maybe a 6th sense? Anyway, after a few minutes of basking in each other's auras, the woman was ready to move on. She dropped the leash and walked away. Finally, reluctantly my newly-made friend got up and followed her. The power of the dog.
Anyway, now that I think of it, kind words, grace, confidence, treats, words of encouragement, not only the way to live with dogs, also the way to deal with Humans. The St. Francis of Assisi Method for living with other beings. Highly recommended.
