I'm Not Bono!

I sing. I write songs. I am a member of a band!

Talking to a friend earlier in the week, she reminded me: "You're not Bono."

I know. I know.

Stuck on Doing

You heard the words earlier in the week. A piece of "spiritual advice," that you've heard before, but earlier this week, it sort of hit home, "Being, not doing." This is so counter to my day to day mode.

I have found salvation in doing. Always doing. Always. I suppose, I choose to interpret this advice by thinking that even being, can be a sort of doing. At least that's how I've tried to finesse it for myself.

Last night. In the wee hours. Deep sleep. The words came to me again. They actually woke me up. "Being, not doing." So you think to yourself, "This is important!" When a phrase sort of hovers over you and haunts you, maybe you should take notice?

So, is it just "existing" I should be leaning to? That really doesn't seem to be enough. I am stuck. Stuck on doing. Maybe my being can be a sort of doing? Sitting and doing nothing. Doing just by being?

"The Deranged Carnival that this Cartoon Rich Man Puts On!" - Dylan Matthews

I am a liberal. Always have been. Since an early age. I live on a liberal island. On the "north shore" of Lake Michigan. Famously liberal. Everyone I know is pretty liberal. The ones that I suspect are not liberal, I do not bring up politics with them. No reason to do so.

I despise this group of Republicans running for President. I can't imagine why anyone would vote for any one of them. I can't imagine being so "retro" and backward on social issues, on the environment, on the duty of our government to "better people's lives." I cringe at their "saber-rattling" on foreign policy.

I watch from the sidelines and just can't visualize any of these folks actually representing my country. It actually turns my stomach. Yuck! And the guy dominating the field? The less said the better. He is sucking up all the oxygen. He seems to be a master of social media. He's funny. Scary. Ridiculous.

You run out of words to describe his idiocy. And you realize his idiocy is actually a feature, not a flaw. He is ahead of the pack because of his idiocy. I don't understand. Really. That party. Those people. So foreign to me. I realize I live in different country.

Every Window, Every Mirror!

Turns out as your biography expands, you discover there are many kinds of people. People of many varieties. You may be surprised to find that there really are some "bad actors" out on the road.

Scoundrels, grifters, hustlers, liars, film-flam artists, folks who will cheat you, beat you, and find pleasure in seeing you suffer. There are really talented ones who will filet you into tiny pieces, a smile on their face, and a kind word in your ear.

There are the negative black holes of the spirit, who will suck all the energy from a room, and will vacuum every last shred of hope or optimism you may have inside you with one dark, swift look or gesture.

You have to be alert, on-guard - the grift, the hustle, the soul-killing, is potentially around any corner. And remember - you harbor the saboteur inside your own heart. Inevitably, you find, that you are your own worst enemy - the toughest critic, the most brutal editor, the one totaling up all the wins and losses. The one who can  overrule your better angels, your intuitive wisdom.

You must be vigilant. Enemies in every window, in every mirror.

Unplugged TV!

I got this message. From myself. I've lately been too much of a broadcaster, like a pirate radio station, and less like a receiver, like a TV.

And I need to be more like a TV, and less like a radio station. And maybe I should be like a TV that is unplugged!

Maybe the Future Isn't All It's Cracked Up to Be?

If you are of an optimistic frame of mind, you work under the premise that tomorrow will be a better day than today. And you are optimistic that today really will be a good day. I mean, there might be bumps in the road, but the road rolls out in front of you holding a promise of hope and prosperity.  

Paul Krugman reviews a book by Robert Gordon that tells us the future may not be all that it's cracked up to be. Is it possible that all that progress and growth and technological innovation that we have come to expect, has kind of topped out?

Maybe Google, Twitter, Facebook, Apple & Amazon aren't really all that disruptive and innovative? Are our lives going to get better with all this social media stuff? Will technology save our asses? 

I don't know. But I am optimistic that lunch today is going be really, really good!

Monday Morning Question

Yes. That's the kind of Monday morning question you can really sink your teeth into... "Why can't you remember your future?"

Time is a puzzlement. A conundrum. It's fast, it's slow. It bends.

And in our heads time is not linear. Sink into your own head and you find yourself in a sea of possibilities: memories, dreams, imaginings, thought-trains.

You find that your own mind is quite confusing to yourself.

A Poet's World...

Dylan once sang... "I'll let you be in my dream, if I can be in yours..." that's the kind of world you'd like to live in, right? One where we share dreams? And we let each other in?

I like this one too, Patti Smith's world (from M Train):

"In my way of thinking, anything is possible. Life is at the bottom of things and belief at the top, while the creative impulse, dwelling in the center, informs all."

She Transforms the World...

Patti Smith's M Train...

Of course, I love it. Patti is an odd duck. A William Burroughs acolyte. A poet. For sure. In the best way. In every thing she does. She transforms the world thru her poetic sensibility. 

And what does she do? 

She visits graves of favorite authors and poets.
She watches detective shows on TV.
She loses things; people, notebooks, beloved over-coats.
She reads.
She writes.
She dreams.
She remembers.
She drinks coffee.
She spends lots of time alone. Solitary. Talking to inanimate objects. Inanimate objects talk back.

A poet. A lover. A dreamer. A mystic. 

In her world - dream, vision, memory, imagination and reality are all one thing.

The book is so much about loss. How much we lose. Every. Moment. Of. Every. Day. Beautiful. 

She's a quirky, tough little bird. Love her. Love her fiery, determined quirkiness.

What is Life Like?

What is life like? It's pretty interesting. It's kind of like a river, right? A rushing flow of energy. Sometimes you are with the flow, totally in it, and sometimes you are against it, fighting it. Sometimes you float, sometimes you sink.

As George Harrison once sang, "Life goes on within you and without you."

It just is. 

Somehow you find yourself in it. Don't know how or why. You just came to be. And you do your best with it while you have it. Don't really understand it. Don't always appreciate it. But you begin to realize it's pretty unique. Maybe even precious. Even though it's also ubiquitous. And one individual life is just a blip. A flash. An instant.

Everything is alive.  All the time.

Thinking is for Losers!

When one world-class imbecile joins forces with another world-class imbecile, it all sort of makes perfect sense. A Trump/Palin political juggernaut combo is a super pop culture media dream!

I do think this is a media-saturated wet-dream. And being an imbecile doesn't disqualify anyone from anything. Maybe being a total imbecile is actually an asset - in business, in politics, in our social media swamp. 

As an imbecile you can stand up in front of many people and spout pretty much whatever is on the tip of your idiot tongue. Don't need to waste brain power thinking, or questioning yourself, or knowing anything about what you are talking about. If you are a dedicated imbecile you can never be wrong. At least in your own feeble, imbecilic mind.

That kind of confidence of always being right, can't be bottled. You will exude a powerful imbecilic charisma. And it seems there are lots of folks who just want to follow a charismatic imbecile. Especially a loud, tough-talking, specimen that promises to magically fix everything - to fire all the losers, to build a wall around America, to kick ass and be a winner!

This actually isn't anything new. Look at the history of human beings and you will find that rich, powerful imbeciles have pretty much ruled the day.

Basically the message is - You Can Be An Imbecile Too! Banish doubt. Banish negative thinking. Hell, banish thinking all together! Thinking is for losers!

Go Team!

I know I've probably said this before, (Is anyone keeping track?), but it's always best to be onto the next thing!

But it's also important to make sure the next thing is not corrosive to your spirit. Do you believe in "spirit?" You know, "a force within a person that is believed to give the body life, energy & power."

I do believe in that spirit. Go Team!

Take It Easy Across the Land!

I know I'm not the only person who has ever hitchhiked across the country. Ok. Maybe not across the whole country, but how about from Illinois to California? Twice?

I did it back in my college and post-college days. Once, by myself, and once, with a friend. There were many adventures. Good times, bad times. A few amazingly beautiful situations, and a couple really scary situations. I should probably write about it all sometime in detail, but this morning is not that time.

I was living a Kerouac, "Zen and the Motorcycle Maintenance" kind of existence. There was something strange and unsettling and adventurous about leaving your fate and direction up to the next ride. It was sort of reckless. Can't imagine doing it now. Surprised I did it then. But it was a significant time in my life.

I did end up in Winslow, Arizona. And I did stand on a corner. And I did put my thumb out for a ride. I don't believe a girl in a flat-bed Ford picked me up that time. But later, in California, I was picked up by a beautiful young girl in a shiny pickup. 

It was just a short ride. Memorable. Kind of like that song. And I did understand that simple, heartfelt exuberance of being alive that Jackson Browne and Glenn Frey wrote about in their song. "Take it Easy," Glenn.

Remembering the Future!

I'm reading Patti Smith's "M Train," now. More about it later. But it's funny, before I started reading it, I was riding in a taxi, looking out the window, and I remarked to my friend, "What if everything is memory? The past, the present, the future. What if everything is a memory?"

And then I started reading Patti's book, and there's a passage early in the book with the same thought. And I was sort of startled. I mean, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, the book could very well be called, "Memory Train," and it's about how our lives are overstuffed with memories. We are always recalling what we recall.

But still, I realized that I thought the thought, and then I read the thought, in that order. Maybe I was remembering what I was going to read in the future?!

In Studio: Day of the Dolphin!

Okay. This is funny. We were in the recording studio yesterday, working on harmony parts for a new record which we hope to release sometime in the future called, "Alternate Boot." We still haven't released our latest album, called "The Shadow of the Marigold," it should be released this Spring, but we are already working on the one after that, that's how to do it!

Always be onto the next thing...

But it was a sort of frustrating session yesterday. We could not get into a flow. The studio was cold, and it was hard doing vocal parts. I could not hit notes. Sound could barely escape my mouth. Very strange. Harmonies, and background vocals are not our strength, but I couldn't even make sounds that I can usually make.

I actually sounded like the dolphin from "Day of the Dolphin." Two things. 1. It was a very, very funny, frustrating, humiliating session. 2. We will not be using that harmony part. 

BTW - this is a very sad scene...

Unrepeatable Accidents!

I stole this idea from someone else. Think of your life as if it's "evolution" - a process of growth and development. But think of it all as a series of unrepeatable accidents. A long chain of improbabilities. That's you. That's your life. Unique, unrepeatable, improbable. A series of "mistakes," where there really are no mistakes, just a long, unbroken line of things that happened. You can't plan it. You can't regret it. You just live it.

A Gary Cooper Kind of Morning...

Want to talk politics this morning? Nope. Religion? Nope. Social movements? Nope. Pop culture? Nope. What about that roiling ocean of emotion churning inside of you? Nope. How about some philosophical navel-gazing? Nope. Want to expound on your hopes, your dreams, your fears? Nope. Do want to show how you are witty, sarcastic, wise, dumb, or whatever, etc? Nope. Do you want to explain yourself? Nope.

Just Another Kind of Failure?

Can you enjoy the things you should enjoy? Can you accept a win? Can you revel in a success? Or does all success, seem like an illusion? Just another kind of failure?

Are you destined to be another "Willy Loman?" Shuffling from one bleak encounter to another? That's a sad picture.

You imagine yourself as Sisyphus, pushing that boulder up, then watching it roll back down. And as Camus tells us, we should imagine Sisyphus "happy!" So you imagine Sisyphus happy!

Are you really that kind of Sisyphus? Do you want, what you think you want? Or have you been on a fool's errand from the beginning? Are you lost in the funhouse? A refugee in a hall of mirrors?

Is your whole idea of success and failure just a grand misunderstanding? Dear Pilgrim. Think about it!

Not in the Known Universe!

You work towards something. You get close. You think you are there. And then a contract appears. And you read the contract, and you like the general drift of the thing, good things could happen, an arrangement, a partnership, a business deal, all your hard work, and creative pursuit may actually pan out, but then at the same time you think of all the bad things that could happen, and you remember once in the past you signed a contract, and that signing came back to haunt you big-time, and how you have vowed never to sign anything, and you read some of the language in the contract and it seems a little ominous, and so binding, and sort of cryptic and well, you think it's time to call on a lawyer you can trust to review the damn thing. And you think about all the bands you've read about, the horror stories, and you remember how the infamous Allen Klein screwed over both the Stones and the Beatles and how he was once quoted as saying: "Any contract can be broken!" And you think to yourself, "There is no lawyer in the known Universe that I can trust..."

Bowie & Iggy!

I must say, I was surprised by how much David Bowie's death affected me. I have been a "fan" for a long time, but I reacted as if I really knew the man, and had a personal connection to him. Of course, I only knew and know him through his work. One of those odd pop culture illusions.

Obviously he had been sick for awhile, but that wasn't the image projected into the world. And he did seem to be doing the work even in his last days. Pretty amazing and inspiring. Death comes to us all. It's a hard lesson.

I was thinking about all the records I've listened to over the years, and maybe the one that most impressed me was the album that Bowie produced and collaborated on with Iggy Pop, "The Idiot." It's a dark, icy, strange record. It was one of Bowie's little experiments.

The Bowie/Pop collaboration was an odd beast. Bowie was at the top of his game, and Iggy was pretty much down and out. They went off to Berlin and made some really cool music together. Trying to kick their nastier drug habits together.

One of my favorite books (I've read it a couple times), is called "Bowie in Berlin," and it describes the period of their Berlin adventure together. A remarkable series of records were spawned from their artistic bond - "The Idiot," "Lust for Life," "Low," and "Heroes."

A very, creative, fertile period. So influential over the years for so many other bands. "The Idiot" might be the oddest duck of the bunch. And it's a work that Iggy ended up distancing himself from, thinking maybe the Bowie influence was too great. But it's a phenomenal record. Icy and emotional. Cold and hot. Spiky and dark. So good.