Is It Even Possible?

Maybe it's all in my head?

Is it possible that being a long-term meditator, a person dedicated to meditating, dedicated to stilling the raging inferno deep inside has made me more sensitive, more perceptive, more aware of the rushing river of my passing life?

Is it possible that my sense of smell is much more acute than ever before? I mean, I started to notice that I was noticing all the odors floating in the air around me. It seems my sense of smell has become four dimensional. I can see odors in technicolor. Is that even possible?

My "bullshit detector" seems much more acute too. I see and hear the lies. I get really uncomfortable almost instantly when someone is lying to me. It is sort of like listening to the radio with an undercurrent of static and white-noise undercutting the lying, weasel-words. Very weird. Makes me very selective of who I end up spending time with. I want to avoid the annoying noise.

I find that my life is now a long-form improvisation, a "process of weeding out." My life is getting more stream-lined. I am aware of being aware. Watching myself, as I watch myself, without being self-conscious; in the moment, aware of the moment, forgetting that I'm aware of moment. Pure experience.

I am much more sensitive to the food and drink I put into my body. I experience the inputs. My body reacts almost instantly to healthy, wholesome food. There is an ease and comfort that comes with a good meal. I find I can add huge helpings of garlic and cayenne pepper to soups and salads. These herbs light me up, open me, make my life more edible.  Alternatively, heavily-processed foods don't sit well. I get nervous, edgy. I react especially badly to sugar. Funny. Early in life I was addicted to drinking Coca-Cola. Now that seems impossible.

I am also more aware of, and sensitive to, my emotions , internal thoughts and energies. Worry and doubt are dark clouds, anger is a toxic, debilitating energy, opens wounds; joy is overwhelming, floods into me, for instance, picking up my acoustic guitar and playing an open chord, lights me up. I experience joy as a healing golden light.

I am super-sensitive to light. A low light, or candles, are better. I am also super-sensitive to the gloom. Dark clouds sit on my shoulders like a heavy overcoat. I don't just experience the weather, I become the weather. I am weather. Strange.

Can it be, that as the years pass, instead of getting hardened, and set in my ways, I am softening, getting more sensitive, more aware, more permeable? I have to work hard to keep my space with the world. Not an easy thing to do. I try to be aware of everything, fully awake, but I do my best not to let the world overwhelm. That's the trick. Meditation! I recommend it!