Carry That Weight!

The Boxer can't really walk.  Or she can walk, with all four legs doing their walking thing, only briefly.  Then one back leg goes rubbery and she wobbles, her whole body does a turn, she falls to the side, sort of walks in a palsied circle.  Then she rights herself again and starts over.


Sometimes she can walk 10 yards or so, and you think she's got it licked.  But that thought is short-lived.  The rubbery, palsied thing kicks in, and she falls to the ground.  She sort of looks up at you with those brown eyes, big marbles rolling around in her head.  You think she seems a little sheepish, or embarrassed at the way this little walk is going.


She wants to walk.  She wants to sniff the day.  She wants to be outside and soak it all in.  She has the spirit.  Her body just doesn't really cooperate.  You've watched as this condition has progressed.  At first it was a rare, once in a great while thing: the wobbling, the palsy.  But now it's pretty full-blown and happens every few steps.


So the walks have gotten slower and shorter.  You get her to the park and she sits in the grass as you sit on a bench.  She sprawls in the grass, her uncooperative leg sort of like an extra appendage that has no real place.  Sitting in the grass, she looks like a healthy Boxer, all muscle and mouth, a big jutting jaw, a massive over-bite, the teeth sticking out even when her mouth is shut.


It's just when we get up to walk back that it all starts again.  Sometimes it gets so tedious both for you and her, you pick her up and carry in your arms.  Cars slow down to watch you carrying a full-sized Boxer down the street.  She goes limp in your arms, her body heavy against your chest.  This is how you finish the walk now a days.


One day you do this Boxer walk with a companion.  Afterwards your companion breaks down and cries.  Her tears fall to the sidewalk, she says, "You hope someone will be there to carry you when the time comes."  You nod your head in agreement.  You think, "Nice thought," but inside you are really hoping to meet a much more timely, speedy and cleaner finish.