Last night, I'm in a taxi cab. The driver is in the middle of an extended monologue. He's a little older than me. He's from Pakistan, he's been in America many years now, he has a home, children, grown children. He works like a dog. Seven days a week. Never takes a vacation.
"Buy one, get one free. Buy one, get one free. Do you know why they say that...because Americans are not free."
And then this, "cheesburgers, cheeseburgers, cheeseburgers. All Americans eat is cheeseburgers."
There some other stuff he's saying, not sure what, can't follow it all, his voice makes me think of Andy Kaufman, but this guy is animated, funny, he keeps his eye on the road, the words roll out in a steady stream.
"I was young, in Pakistan, watch the TV, Lucy, Bonanza, Man from UNCLE."
Now this really makes me laugh. I was young, in America, I watched Lucy, Bonanza and Man from UNCLE too.
That's the America he thought he was coming to, that's the America I thought I was inheriting. Little kids watching TV worlds away, thinking the little black and white images on the screen were the world. And it kind of boggles the mind to think what that crazy, mixed up vision: Lucy, Ricky, Hoss, Little Joe, Napoleon Solo all added up to.
Somehow it wasn't the vision we ended up with...or maybe then again it really was...who knows? America is still a wacky domestic comedy, a western myth, a spy show, all jumbled up in our heads and on our multi-purpose screens.
And what are we left with? "Buy one, get one free."